Some things will never change, mainly because I wont let them.

[dubbitsp]

I was working at my job in the town close by. I waited all day for the moment to walk out of the job and into the place. I looked forward to the consumption of the stingy smell that came with that particular bar. Looking back now, Im sure it wasn't the bar, it was just the palpable smell of my anxiety and almost vomit inducing self-preservation. I had been there a million times, and every time I put the pressure on myself to say something. To be that fantastic person from the start, to outwardly convey the fact that my life was consumed with this goal. It was the foggiest summer evening, Bon Iver "Blood Bank" had just leaked. I burned a copy to listen to on the drive. I did listen to it. Its funny to think of now. I did this a million times. The time of year, cd, and person accompanying interchangeable. The goal was never was.

You know the sun it swings
across my borders
and the day it hangs
upon my shoulders
and worse then that
is how they react
as if cornered, as If cornered
you know I don’t get by
on a happy tune
and I don’t get sun
in the afternoon
and when the evening fear
is just coming on
I’m all static and quivering
with the shades all drawn

with the shades all drawn