(no subject)
Title: He Deserved It
Universe: Harry Potter
Type: Slash
Genre: Humor, I guess
Pairings: Sirius/Remus
Characters: Sirius, Remus, Lucius, McGonagall, Slughorn, Madam Pomfrey
Rating: PG-13 for snogging, implied sex acts, and Lucius being a racist, homophobic prat
Summary: Lucius Malfoy isn’t known for being nice, especially not to Gryffindors, doubly so for Sirius and Remus. Naturally, this invokes Sirius’ violence, with some interesting after-effects.
Spoilers: None
Word Count: 2,588
Disclaimer: JK Rowling made up the Potterverse; I just write the fanfic. No money is being made in this venture and I have nothing to sue for.
Beta: None
It was a Wednesday in early March and Minerva McGonagall was not a happy woman. As if it hadn’t been bad enough that she’d had to drag her own fifth-year, Sirius Black, up to her office on Monday for charming Severus Snape’s hair to a brilliant shade of fuchsia. And now he was back here again - Sirius Black, that was; Severus Snape was a model student, even if his moody behavior and lack of social skills were slightly disturbing. Today, Sirius had apparently had a run in with Slytherin seventh-year and Prefect, Lucius Malfoy, who had undoubtedly come off the worst in whatever scuffle had ensued between the two of them.
By Horace Slughorn’s account, he himself had been out enjoying some crystallized pineapple and the sight of some green after months of snow. Sirius and his group of friends - James Potter, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew - had appeared, at the time, to be having a very spirited discussion with Mister Malfoy. Only Lupin appeared to be averse to the discussion, as he was hanging back, staring at the grass, and appeared to be blushing. Soon enough, Sirius and Potter had advanced on Malfoy enough to press him up against a tree, and Pettigrew seemed to be encouraging it. Eventually, Slughorn had moved close enough to see that this was less of a spirited discussion and more of an outright fight, and it was clearly an important one, as Lupin just grew more uncomfortable as it progressed. However, the voices all got somewhat muffled in Slughorn’s ears as he chewed his pineapple. Sirius, Potter, and Malfoy all drew their wands, but Sirius pushed Potter back, and before Malfoy could do anything, he was upside-down and being levitated dangerously close to the Whomping Willow. Sirius hit him into the Willow once with no adverse effects, then pulled him away and threatened to do it again if he didn’t apologize for something he had said earlier.
And then the Whomping Willow had hit back.
Luckily, Lupin and Potter were fast on their wands and had gotten Malfoy out while Sirius sulked and looked deeply upset. By the time Slughorn had reached Malfoy, Potter, and Lupin, the Slytherin was out cold and had taken a few blows, but did not appear to be in terrible danger. His teacher’s appraisal had said that an apology and helping escort Malfoy to the Hospital Wing would have been enough punishment for Sirius - after all, he was a bright boy and he had appeared to be deeply unsettled by whatever it was Malfoy had said - but, for whatever reason, Madam Pomfrey had thought differently.
Being terribly effective as she was, she’d attended to Malfoy’s wounds - a nasty cut and bruise to the face, a fracture in the forearm, a twisted wrist, a spot of tenderness in the back, and an impromptu haircut - all the while telling him how lucky he was that he hadn’t died. As soon as she’d finished, she called for Professor McGonagall, who came down as soon as possible. After hearing Slughorn’s story, McGonagall grilled the two boys for their stories, which didn’t vary much from Slughorn’s, save their biased points of view. Not to imply that Slughorn’s view wasn’t biased…it was just biased by stupidity, rather than blind hatred.
The spectacle of these two boys was just ridiculous, and sorrier a sight was rarely seen around Hogwarts School, even with the long-standing blood feud between the Houses of Gryffindor and Slytherin. On the left, Sirius sat in a chair, still looking completely upset, as though whatever Malfoy had done - both of them had refused to say - could never be made up for. He let his black hair fall carelessly over his eyes, lowering his head when the medical supplies he’d been staring at grew too boring. On the right, Malfoy remained in his bed, heavily bandaged, with his arm in a cast. More than anything, he seemed to be lamenting how he had a black eye, a cut on one cheek, and bruise roughly the shape of New Zealand near his neck. Neither of them looked at the other, though Malfoy did whine and Sirius huffed, looking on the verge of breaking down.
McGonagall pursed her lips and sighed heatedly while Madam Pomfrey and Slughorn waited behind her at either side. This entire scene was, at its very core, flawed and juvenile. Better things should have been expected and presented from two sons of Hogwarts and the most prestigious, ancient Pureblood families in Britain. Naturally, McGonagall would have expected the same behavior from any student, but she also hoped that, despite their wealth and status, a Black and a Malfoy would show some manners, or at least devise a cleverer plan than pick on each other’s weaknesses and shove each other into trees.
“Well then,” she huffed, drumming her fingers against her arm. “Mister Malfoy, it appears that, although the situation could have gone otherwise, you will live.”
“But, Professor,” Malfoy protested. “Black’s mad! Aren’t you going to-”
“Punish him? I was getting to that, Mister Malfoy, and you will do to hold your tongue unless you wish to begin losing points for Slytherin.”
Malfoy nearly had to bite his lip to keep from exploding at her in anger, but instead, he sunk back into his prop of pillows, leaving McGonagall to deal with Sirius.
“As for you, Mister Black,” she said gruffly. “I should expect better from the both of you, but I hold my standards especially high for you in particular, as you are a student of my own House!”
“I’m sorry, Professor McGonagall,” Sirius droned, staring up at the ceiling and letting his body flop into all sorts of languid angles.
“It is not me you should be apologizing to! Even if a lone apology were enough to make up for what you have done tonight, you should be apologizing to Mister Malfoy.”
“I’m sorry, Malfoy.”
“You don’t sound sorry, you filthy little-”
Malfoy looked as though he’d wanted to call Sirius a particularly nasty name, but had held back, as he was in the presence of two teachers and the matron. This had not passed Sirius by, however, and he snapped his head down, glaring at Malfoy. The Slytherin scoffed and tossed his still-long platinum blond hair over one shoulder. Sirius, on the other hand whipped out his wand and pointed it straight at Malfoy’s throat, growling and looking overall dog-like.
“Mister Black!” Professors McGonagall and Slughorn both exclaimed, terrified.
“What were you going to call me?” Sirius snapped.
“Same thing I said before,” Malfoy drawled. “But I figure it’s not worth it in such…distinguished company.”
“James, Peter, Remus and I aren’t distinguished then?”
“Hardly.”
“So you can kiss arse to the teachers, but soon as they’re not around, you’re free to insult, slur, and abuse-”
“Mister Black!” Professor McGonagall shrieked. “Lower your wand this instant!”
Sirius defiantly kept his wand up for a few long moments, but finally snapped it down. Livid and flushing with rage, McGonagall strode quickly over to Sirius and pulled him forward by his face.
“Need I remind you, Mister Black, that you have already earned yourself a week’s worth of detention and lost twenty points from Gryffindor for this little shenanigan? Would you enjoy losing more?”
“Not at all, Professor,” Sirius huffed. “But you don’t understand! The slimy git deserved it!”
“Five points from Gryffindor, Mister Black! And I would understand if you would just tell me what he said that has driven you to this madness!”
“Like he said, it’s not right to repeat it in such company.”
“Young man, if you wish for me to understand, then you will explain to me what Mister Malfoy has done to incur your wrath.”
“It’s nothing.”
“Given your behavior, I find that difficult to believe.”
“It’s nothing. Really, it’s nothing at all.”
“For once in his life,” Malfoy hissed delicately. “It seems the eldest son of the house of Black is right about something.”
“Then it appears that we’re finished here,” McGonagall sighed, forcing Sirius back into his chair. “Mister Black, you may leave. Poppy?”
“Mister Malfoy’s free to leave as he pleases,” Madam Pomfrey said brusquely, shrugging simply. “He appears to have recovered perfectly fine.”
Sirius wasted no time leaving; he’d had enough of this for one day.
~*~
Remus Lupin was often deemed an anxious person by nature, and quite frequently by everyone, from his parents and teachers to his best friends. Often, it was with regards to his academic worries and fears of doing poorly or letting down the people he most valued. Even when his worries proved to be false or otherwise based in fantasy, he couldn’t help it. Of late, the target of most of his worries had not been his quickly approaching OWLs, but Sirius. All the changes in him had been subtle, at best, but Remus highly suspected that Sirius’ family was behind them. They hardly approved of him as it was, without his younger brother, Regulus, and older cousin, Bellatrix, outing the true nature his relationship with Remus over Christmas dinner with the Lestranges and the Malfoys. Since then, he’d been turning violent quickly and acting out more often, rather than turning to mindless pranks with James and Peter.
It all almost made Remus miss Sirius’ previously compulsive need to terrorize Severus Snape, which, granted, hadn’t stopped in the slightest, only become darker.
Today’s little fiasco had just been the culmination of weeks upon weeks of Sirius having to listen to Malfoy’s taunts and to deal with his public ridicule, all the while being kept down by Remus, James, and Peter. Certain things Sirius could handle, like insulting his mother or offhanded remarks about his sexual preferences, but Malfoy had been laying it on thicker than blood recently. Naturally, Sirius was going to get upset and lash out eventually. That was just who he was, and no amount of interference from his friends could change or control that. Remus even thought that Malfoy deserved what he’d gotten, no matter how dangerous and utterly lethal the Whomping Willow was.
Finally, the door to the Hospital Wing opened and Sirius meandered out, looking unkempt as ever. Remus cleared his throat loudly, and, before he could react, he found himself in one of Sirius Black’s warm embraces. He reciprocated the hug, and Sirius buried his face into Remus’ shoulder.
“How’d it go?” Remus whispered warmly.
“Lost some points, got detention,” Sirius sighed. “Couldn’t make McGonagall understand without telling her everything, which I didn’t. Almost hexed Malfoy in front of two teachers and Madam Pomfrey. Nothing out of the ordinary.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault, Remus.”
“I love you, Sirius. You know that, don’t you?”
“Mhmm…but I love you more.”
“Now, Padfoot, I just don’t think that’s possible-”
“Well, now look at this,” drawled Malfoy’s cold voice.
Instantly, Sirius broke away from Remus and whipped around quickly. Far from his usual state, Malfoy looked not unlike a Muggle car crash in which ten people had died, with a black eye, one arm in a sling, and various minor injuries. He looked down his pointed, pretty boy face at the two Gryffindors, his cold lips curling into a sneer.
“You’re disgusting, Black,” he scoffed. “And your little boyfriend too. I just don’t know how your family can stand to be in the same room with you.”
“Shove off, Malfoy,” Sirius spat. “They’re not my family, anyway; Remus, and James, and Peter are.”
“And you, Lupin…you’re a Prefect. You should know better.”
“No one asked you!”
“Your boyfriend’s older than you, Black; I think he can talk for himself.”
Malfoy shifted his glare from Sirius to Remus, who did not shrink back as the Slytherin had expected. Rather, Remus stared stolidly back at Malfoy, eyes filled with an uncommon chill. It appeared, though, that Malfoy didn’t notice anything but the silence, which, being the disgusting prat he was, he took as weakness. Not one to be stopped when he was mocking whomever or whatever he deemed unsuitable, Malfoy pressed on.
“Well, I guess I overestimated him then.” He sneered. “Looks like-”
Whatever he’d had to say was undoubtedly nasty, but Malfoy never got to say it. In a move that neither he nor Sirius could have seen, Remus simply strode up to Malfoy until there was only about of foot of space between them. The Gryffindor was shorter than the Slytherin, but he carried himself differently than normal, and seemed taller than usual - tall enough that Malfoy had to back away. Then, without any warning whatsoever, Remus pulled back his arm and punched Malfoy dead in the nose. Apparently, there was not only enough force in Remus’ punch to do damage to Malfoy’s nose and elicit a groan, but there was also enough to send him backwards into the floor. Remus moved again to stand over him, glaring down at his sniveling face as he held his nose and whined.
“My FACE, Lupin! You could’ve gotten ANYTHING but the FACE!”
“THAT’S what you GET for calling my boyfriend a ‘filthy faggot,’ Malfoy!” Remus shouted, his face red with rage.
Sirius reeled back from the scene, blushing scarlet. It wasn’t the violence that made him blush - he’d been punching people in the face since the tender age of seven, and had since progressed onto bigger methods of injury. Rather, it was the fact that Remus was the one doing the violent act. Remus, as far as Sirius knew - which was about as far as anyone could know, he thought - was always more of a passive-aggressive fighter, a firm believer in using sarcasm, wit, and subtlety to deal with any problem that presented itself. Of course, full moons made him violent, but he couldn’t control that furry little problem. Yet, here he was, in complete control of his mental faculties and wholly reasonably, and he’d just punched Malfoy in the face, and when the bastard was already injured to boot.
And Sirius had to admit, Remus had done a pretty good job for his first time…and he had never been more turned on before in his life. He needed to get his hands on Remus right NOW. Sighing heavily and stepping away from Malfoy, Remus handed Sirius the perfect opportunity. He seized it, wrapping his arms around Remus’ shoulders from behind.
“Sirius!” Remus gasped.
“Merlin, Remus,” Sirius moaned lustfully. “I never knew you had such a good right hook.”
“Me either, to be honest.”
“I need to ravish you…right now.”
“Because I punched someone? Isn’t that a little morbid, Sirius?”
“No, not because you punched someone. Because you’re intelligent, and beautiful, and you stood up for me-”
“By punching Malfoy!”
“Come on, Remus…who cares how you did it? Fact is, you did it, and I need to ravish you, right here, right now.”
“Alright…but not in the corridor.”
Without shaking Sirius off of himself, Remus opened the door to a nearby broom cupboard and relocated the both of them into it. Sirius didn’t protest, but seemed to love the new closeness that their change of scenery brought, and he celebrated it by pressing his chest and lips against Remus’ counterparts. When McGonagall and Slughorn tried to leave the Hospital Wing for the first time, they were met with Malfoy’s moaned laments for his shattered nose. Upon the second time, they thought they heard a different kind of moaning. But they couldn’t see a source, and they didn’t dwell on the thought long, proceeding off to their respective offices instead.
Universe: Harry Potter
Type: Slash
Genre: Humor, I guess
Pairings: Sirius/Remus
Characters: Sirius, Remus, Lucius, McGonagall, Slughorn, Madam Pomfrey
Rating: PG-13 for snogging, implied sex acts, and Lucius being a racist, homophobic prat
Summary: Lucius Malfoy isn’t known for being nice, especially not to Gryffindors, doubly so for Sirius and Remus. Naturally, this invokes Sirius’ violence, with some interesting after-effects.
Spoilers: None
Word Count: 2,588
Disclaimer: JK Rowling made up the Potterverse; I just write the fanfic. No money is being made in this venture and I have nothing to sue for.
Beta: None
It was a Wednesday in early March and Minerva McGonagall was not a happy woman. As if it hadn’t been bad enough that she’d had to drag her own fifth-year, Sirius Black, up to her office on Monday for charming Severus Snape’s hair to a brilliant shade of fuchsia. And now he was back here again - Sirius Black, that was; Severus Snape was a model student, even if his moody behavior and lack of social skills were slightly disturbing. Today, Sirius had apparently had a run in with Slytherin seventh-year and Prefect, Lucius Malfoy, who had undoubtedly come off the worst in whatever scuffle had ensued between the two of them.
By Horace Slughorn’s account, he himself had been out enjoying some crystallized pineapple and the sight of some green after months of snow. Sirius and his group of friends - James Potter, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew - had appeared, at the time, to be having a very spirited discussion with Mister Malfoy. Only Lupin appeared to be averse to the discussion, as he was hanging back, staring at the grass, and appeared to be blushing. Soon enough, Sirius and Potter had advanced on Malfoy enough to press him up against a tree, and Pettigrew seemed to be encouraging it. Eventually, Slughorn had moved close enough to see that this was less of a spirited discussion and more of an outright fight, and it was clearly an important one, as Lupin just grew more uncomfortable as it progressed. However, the voices all got somewhat muffled in Slughorn’s ears as he chewed his pineapple. Sirius, Potter, and Malfoy all drew their wands, but Sirius pushed Potter back, and before Malfoy could do anything, he was upside-down and being levitated dangerously close to the Whomping Willow. Sirius hit him into the Willow once with no adverse effects, then pulled him away and threatened to do it again if he didn’t apologize for something he had said earlier.
And then the Whomping Willow had hit back.
Luckily, Lupin and Potter were fast on their wands and had gotten Malfoy out while Sirius sulked and looked deeply upset. By the time Slughorn had reached Malfoy, Potter, and Lupin, the Slytherin was out cold and had taken a few blows, but did not appear to be in terrible danger. His teacher’s appraisal had said that an apology and helping escort Malfoy to the Hospital Wing would have been enough punishment for Sirius - after all, he was a bright boy and he had appeared to be deeply unsettled by whatever it was Malfoy had said - but, for whatever reason, Madam Pomfrey had thought differently.
Being terribly effective as she was, she’d attended to Malfoy’s wounds - a nasty cut and bruise to the face, a fracture in the forearm, a twisted wrist, a spot of tenderness in the back, and an impromptu haircut - all the while telling him how lucky he was that he hadn’t died. As soon as she’d finished, she called for Professor McGonagall, who came down as soon as possible. After hearing Slughorn’s story, McGonagall grilled the two boys for their stories, which didn’t vary much from Slughorn’s, save their biased points of view. Not to imply that Slughorn’s view wasn’t biased…it was just biased by stupidity, rather than blind hatred.
The spectacle of these two boys was just ridiculous, and sorrier a sight was rarely seen around Hogwarts School, even with the long-standing blood feud between the Houses of Gryffindor and Slytherin. On the left, Sirius sat in a chair, still looking completely upset, as though whatever Malfoy had done - both of them had refused to say - could never be made up for. He let his black hair fall carelessly over his eyes, lowering his head when the medical supplies he’d been staring at grew too boring. On the right, Malfoy remained in his bed, heavily bandaged, with his arm in a cast. More than anything, he seemed to be lamenting how he had a black eye, a cut on one cheek, and bruise roughly the shape of New Zealand near his neck. Neither of them looked at the other, though Malfoy did whine and Sirius huffed, looking on the verge of breaking down.
McGonagall pursed her lips and sighed heatedly while Madam Pomfrey and Slughorn waited behind her at either side. This entire scene was, at its very core, flawed and juvenile. Better things should have been expected and presented from two sons of Hogwarts and the most prestigious, ancient Pureblood families in Britain. Naturally, McGonagall would have expected the same behavior from any student, but she also hoped that, despite their wealth and status, a Black and a Malfoy would show some manners, or at least devise a cleverer plan than pick on each other’s weaknesses and shove each other into trees.
“Well then,” she huffed, drumming her fingers against her arm. “Mister Malfoy, it appears that, although the situation could have gone otherwise, you will live.”
“But, Professor,” Malfoy protested. “Black’s mad! Aren’t you going to-”
“Punish him? I was getting to that, Mister Malfoy, and you will do to hold your tongue unless you wish to begin losing points for Slytherin.”
Malfoy nearly had to bite his lip to keep from exploding at her in anger, but instead, he sunk back into his prop of pillows, leaving McGonagall to deal with Sirius.
“As for you, Mister Black,” she said gruffly. “I should expect better from the both of you, but I hold my standards especially high for you in particular, as you are a student of my own House!”
“I’m sorry, Professor McGonagall,” Sirius droned, staring up at the ceiling and letting his body flop into all sorts of languid angles.
“It is not me you should be apologizing to! Even if a lone apology were enough to make up for what you have done tonight, you should be apologizing to Mister Malfoy.”
“I’m sorry, Malfoy.”
“You don’t sound sorry, you filthy little-”
Malfoy looked as though he’d wanted to call Sirius a particularly nasty name, but had held back, as he was in the presence of two teachers and the matron. This had not passed Sirius by, however, and he snapped his head down, glaring at Malfoy. The Slytherin scoffed and tossed his still-long platinum blond hair over one shoulder. Sirius, on the other hand whipped out his wand and pointed it straight at Malfoy’s throat, growling and looking overall dog-like.
“Mister Black!” Professors McGonagall and Slughorn both exclaimed, terrified.
“What were you going to call me?” Sirius snapped.
“Same thing I said before,” Malfoy drawled. “But I figure it’s not worth it in such…distinguished company.”
“James, Peter, Remus and I aren’t distinguished then?”
“Hardly.”
“So you can kiss arse to the teachers, but soon as they’re not around, you’re free to insult, slur, and abuse-”
“Mister Black!” Professor McGonagall shrieked. “Lower your wand this instant!”
Sirius defiantly kept his wand up for a few long moments, but finally snapped it down. Livid and flushing with rage, McGonagall strode quickly over to Sirius and pulled him forward by his face.
“Need I remind you, Mister Black, that you have already earned yourself a week’s worth of detention and lost twenty points from Gryffindor for this little shenanigan? Would you enjoy losing more?”
“Not at all, Professor,” Sirius huffed. “But you don’t understand! The slimy git deserved it!”
“Five points from Gryffindor, Mister Black! And I would understand if you would just tell me what he said that has driven you to this madness!”
“Like he said, it’s not right to repeat it in such company.”
“Young man, if you wish for me to understand, then you will explain to me what Mister Malfoy has done to incur your wrath.”
“It’s nothing.”
“Given your behavior, I find that difficult to believe.”
“It’s nothing. Really, it’s nothing at all.”
“For once in his life,” Malfoy hissed delicately. “It seems the eldest son of the house of Black is right about something.”
“Then it appears that we’re finished here,” McGonagall sighed, forcing Sirius back into his chair. “Mister Black, you may leave. Poppy?”
“Mister Malfoy’s free to leave as he pleases,” Madam Pomfrey said brusquely, shrugging simply. “He appears to have recovered perfectly fine.”
Sirius wasted no time leaving; he’d had enough of this for one day.
~*~
Remus Lupin was often deemed an anxious person by nature, and quite frequently by everyone, from his parents and teachers to his best friends. Often, it was with regards to his academic worries and fears of doing poorly or letting down the people he most valued. Even when his worries proved to be false or otherwise based in fantasy, he couldn’t help it. Of late, the target of most of his worries had not been his quickly approaching OWLs, but Sirius. All the changes in him had been subtle, at best, but Remus highly suspected that Sirius’ family was behind them. They hardly approved of him as it was, without his younger brother, Regulus, and older cousin, Bellatrix, outing the true nature his relationship with Remus over Christmas dinner with the Lestranges and the Malfoys. Since then, he’d been turning violent quickly and acting out more often, rather than turning to mindless pranks with James and Peter.
It all almost made Remus miss Sirius’ previously compulsive need to terrorize Severus Snape, which, granted, hadn’t stopped in the slightest, only become darker.
Today’s little fiasco had just been the culmination of weeks upon weeks of Sirius having to listen to Malfoy’s taunts and to deal with his public ridicule, all the while being kept down by Remus, James, and Peter. Certain things Sirius could handle, like insulting his mother or offhanded remarks about his sexual preferences, but Malfoy had been laying it on thicker than blood recently. Naturally, Sirius was going to get upset and lash out eventually. That was just who he was, and no amount of interference from his friends could change or control that. Remus even thought that Malfoy deserved what he’d gotten, no matter how dangerous and utterly lethal the Whomping Willow was.
Finally, the door to the Hospital Wing opened and Sirius meandered out, looking unkempt as ever. Remus cleared his throat loudly, and, before he could react, he found himself in one of Sirius Black’s warm embraces. He reciprocated the hug, and Sirius buried his face into Remus’ shoulder.
“How’d it go?” Remus whispered warmly.
“Lost some points, got detention,” Sirius sighed. “Couldn’t make McGonagall understand without telling her everything, which I didn’t. Almost hexed Malfoy in front of two teachers and Madam Pomfrey. Nothing out of the ordinary.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault, Remus.”
“I love you, Sirius. You know that, don’t you?”
“Mhmm…but I love you more.”
“Now, Padfoot, I just don’t think that’s possible-”
“Well, now look at this,” drawled Malfoy’s cold voice.
Instantly, Sirius broke away from Remus and whipped around quickly. Far from his usual state, Malfoy looked not unlike a Muggle car crash in which ten people had died, with a black eye, one arm in a sling, and various minor injuries. He looked down his pointed, pretty boy face at the two Gryffindors, his cold lips curling into a sneer.
“You’re disgusting, Black,” he scoffed. “And your little boyfriend too. I just don’t know how your family can stand to be in the same room with you.”
“Shove off, Malfoy,” Sirius spat. “They’re not my family, anyway; Remus, and James, and Peter are.”
“And you, Lupin…you’re a Prefect. You should know better.”
“No one asked you!”
“Your boyfriend’s older than you, Black; I think he can talk for himself.”
Malfoy shifted his glare from Sirius to Remus, who did not shrink back as the Slytherin had expected. Rather, Remus stared stolidly back at Malfoy, eyes filled with an uncommon chill. It appeared, though, that Malfoy didn’t notice anything but the silence, which, being the disgusting prat he was, he took as weakness. Not one to be stopped when he was mocking whomever or whatever he deemed unsuitable, Malfoy pressed on.
“Well, I guess I overestimated him then.” He sneered. “Looks like-”
Whatever he’d had to say was undoubtedly nasty, but Malfoy never got to say it. In a move that neither he nor Sirius could have seen, Remus simply strode up to Malfoy until there was only about of foot of space between them. The Gryffindor was shorter than the Slytherin, but he carried himself differently than normal, and seemed taller than usual - tall enough that Malfoy had to back away. Then, without any warning whatsoever, Remus pulled back his arm and punched Malfoy dead in the nose. Apparently, there was not only enough force in Remus’ punch to do damage to Malfoy’s nose and elicit a groan, but there was also enough to send him backwards into the floor. Remus moved again to stand over him, glaring down at his sniveling face as he held his nose and whined.
“My FACE, Lupin! You could’ve gotten ANYTHING but the FACE!”
“THAT’S what you GET for calling my boyfriend a ‘filthy faggot,’ Malfoy!” Remus shouted, his face red with rage.
Sirius reeled back from the scene, blushing scarlet. It wasn’t the violence that made him blush - he’d been punching people in the face since the tender age of seven, and had since progressed onto bigger methods of injury. Rather, it was the fact that Remus was the one doing the violent act. Remus, as far as Sirius knew - which was about as far as anyone could know, he thought - was always more of a passive-aggressive fighter, a firm believer in using sarcasm, wit, and subtlety to deal with any problem that presented itself. Of course, full moons made him violent, but he couldn’t control that furry little problem. Yet, here he was, in complete control of his mental faculties and wholly reasonably, and he’d just punched Malfoy in the face, and when the bastard was already injured to boot.
And Sirius had to admit, Remus had done a pretty good job for his first time…and he had never been more turned on before in his life. He needed to get his hands on Remus right NOW. Sighing heavily and stepping away from Malfoy, Remus handed Sirius the perfect opportunity. He seized it, wrapping his arms around Remus’ shoulders from behind.
“Sirius!” Remus gasped.
“Merlin, Remus,” Sirius moaned lustfully. “I never knew you had such a good right hook.”
“Me either, to be honest.”
“I need to ravish you…right now.”
“Because I punched someone? Isn’t that a little morbid, Sirius?”
“No, not because you punched someone. Because you’re intelligent, and beautiful, and you stood up for me-”
“By punching Malfoy!”
“Come on, Remus…who cares how you did it? Fact is, you did it, and I need to ravish you, right here, right now.”
“Alright…but not in the corridor.”
Without shaking Sirius off of himself, Remus opened the door to a nearby broom cupboard and relocated the both of them into it. Sirius didn’t protest, but seemed to love the new closeness that their change of scenery brought, and he celebrated it by pressing his chest and lips against Remus’ counterparts. When McGonagall and Slughorn tried to leave the Hospital Wing for the first time, they were met with Malfoy’s moaned laments for his shattered nose. Upon the second time, they thought they heard a different kind of moaning. But they couldn’t see a source, and they didn’t dwell on the thought long, proceeding off to their respective offices instead.