[ ficlet ] :: I can't believe I'm broken inside
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Slowly, carefully, the white bed sheet is pulled over the slumbering body so as to not disturbed them from much needed rest. After all, how long would they sleep before being awoken again by nightmares and deep rooted emotions that won’t go away, even in the land of dreams? Hopefully longer than the last.
Tired eyes gaze at the other, glad that they had finally fallen asleep, knowing that recent events are the reason that they couldn’t sleep but ended up passing out from sheer exhaustion. A small reprieve from the hauntings until they would creep into the darkness of the mind, but it’s one that’s appreciated. Because of either of them, the one lying on the bed needs it more.
Roxas rubs his eyes, knowing that he should sleep too but something isn’t letting him follow his practical twin into that blissful nothingness. Maybe it’s all the things he’s learned within the past few days alone or the fact that he wants to be there whenever Ventus shoots up from the bed, eyes wild and full of fear before relaxing when seeing identical blue looking into his own. Or maybe it’s his own revelations that he has found in regards to this room. And his past.
Making his way to the large window and sitting on the small ledge offered, he can’t help but think over the small pieces of his memories that have been revealed throughout his time here. But because of the things with the other blond, he never got the chance to really look through it, to make sure it’s his own and not something from Sora again. He knows it’s his own though, all of them showing a bit of his time within the Organization, not of a boy traveling worlds with two bright and cheerful companions.
And that’s all the reassurance he’ll keep for himself before his thoughts would return to Ventus and his future.
Now though, with this small calm in the chaotic winds that whirled around both of them, a chance that he’ll take but for some reason he just can’t think on it. It keeps eluding him, no matter how much to struggles to grasp it and he can’t understand why.
As he looks out the window, seeing the landscape of random buildings and the night sky, as if looking for something but not finding it. Like something else should be there instead of what’s actually in front of him. Never mind that he can only see so much, the moonlight giving only so much light.
Watching the sunset from the clock tower has always soothed him, helping his mind calm down so that he could think things through. But being here in this setting, it’s not so bad either. It’s a good substitute to what he’s used to.
But even that doesn’t keep his attention for too long as his eyes drift back to the other, not even needing the moonlight shining in the room to know how Ventus looks. Dried tear tracks, dark rings under the eyes and hair even more a mess than usual. This isn’t the same Ventus he first met and accused of impersonation not even a week ago. This one is worn, older and just plain tired.
It hurts seeing him like this.
A fist clenches as he remembers the last day, how painful it had been to watch and the hopeless feeling of not being able to pick up the pieces of a shattered heart quick enough so that the other didn’t have to suffer. He just isn’t capable of dealing with all these emotions, not even with the fake memories of having them. But he did what he could, offered what he could and just tried his best. If only it was enough.
Ventus needs more, so much more than what he’s giving him, Roxas knows that. But here, in this place, he’ll do what he can. Staying awake and watching over the blond through the night is something he can do, a small reassurance to show that he’s here and he won’t go anywhere, not until Ventus doesn’t need him anymore. That day is probably coming sooner than he knows, but for now he’ll stick to what he’s resolved to do.
It’s the least he could do, after all.
Slowly, carefully, the white bed sheet is pulled over the slumbering body so as to not disturbed them from much needed rest. After all, how long would they sleep before being awoken again by nightmares and deep rooted emotions that won’t go away, even in the land of dreams? Hopefully longer than the last.
Tired eyes gaze at the other, glad that they had finally fallen asleep, knowing that recent events are the reason that they couldn’t sleep but ended up passing out from sheer exhaustion. A small reprieve from the hauntings until they would creep into the darkness of the mind, but it’s one that’s appreciated. Because of either of them, the one lying on the bed needs it more.
Roxas rubs his eyes, knowing that he should sleep too but something isn’t letting him follow his practical twin into that blissful nothingness. Maybe it’s all the things he’s learned within the past few days alone or the fact that he wants to be there whenever Ventus shoots up from the bed, eyes wild and full of fear before relaxing when seeing identical blue looking into his own. Or maybe it’s his own revelations that he has found in regards to this room. And his past.
Making his way to the large window and sitting on the small ledge offered, he can’t help but think over the small pieces of his memories that have been revealed throughout his time here. But because of the things with the other blond, he never got the chance to really look through it, to make sure it’s his own and not something from Sora again. He knows it’s his own though, all of them showing a bit of his time within the Organization, not of a boy traveling worlds with two bright and cheerful companions.
And that’s all the reassurance he’ll keep for himself before his thoughts would return to Ventus and his future.
Now though, with this small calm in the chaotic winds that whirled around both of them, a chance that he’ll take but for some reason he just can’t think on it. It keeps eluding him, no matter how much to struggles to grasp it and he can’t understand why.
As he looks out the window, seeing the landscape of random buildings and the night sky, as if looking for something but not finding it. Like something else should be there instead of what’s actually in front of him. Never mind that he can only see so much, the moonlight giving only so much light.
Watching the sunset from the clock tower has always soothed him, helping his mind calm down so that he could think things through. But being here in this setting, it’s not so bad either. It’s a good substitute to what he’s used to.
But even that doesn’t keep his attention for too long as his eyes drift back to the other, not even needing the moonlight shining in the room to know how Ventus looks. Dried tear tracks, dark rings under the eyes and hair even more a mess than usual. This isn’t the same Ventus he first met and accused of impersonation not even a week ago. This one is worn, older and just plain tired.
It hurts seeing him like this.
A fist clenches as he remembers the last day, how painful it had been to watch and the hopeless feeling of not being able to pick up the pieces of a shattered heart quick enough so that the other didn’t have to suffer. He just isn’t capable of dealing with all these emotions, not even with the fake memories of having them. But he did what he could, offered what he could and just tried his best. If only it was enough.
Ventus needs more, so much more than what he’s giving him, Roxas knows that. But here, in this place, he’ll do what he can. Staying awake and watching over the blond through the night is something he can do, a small reassurance to show that he’s here and he won’t go anywhere, not until Ventus doesn’t need him anymore. That day is probably coming sooner than he knows, but for now he’ll stick to what he’s resolved to do.
It’s the least he could do, after all.