(no subject)
I do not know how much longer I can resist falling into temptation. It disgusts me, the idea of...doing what he wishes me to. To survive!
And yet...dear God...I found myself looking upon the young woman Isabella with a dark interest that shudders and sickens me to my core. I have been able to defeat Hyde, but has he weakened my resolve toward things of that nature? Toward others as well? Has he tainted me with his perverse depravity and debauchery? I can only hope that is not the case. I will pray with every ounce of my being that I will not succumb to this disease.
This disease, like every other, has a cure. I do not need his blood, or any others! Surely it will pass through my system for all it is is a blood borne illness. Another week or two and I will no longer have these hellish cravings. I should have never fell prey to them before... but what was I to do? I had no food, and as hazy and distracted I was, I knew I would not be able to make it through the corridors without falling into one of Erik's traps.
It has been weeks, and yet I still have to convince myself that eating them was the only way I would have survived.
What would happen should I indulge in more? Will I crave more, or will it be sated enough where I can go many months without worry about staring at a patients bleeding wound? Or worse...latching onto it like some fiend.
My hands are shaking again and, for once, I wish that I had taken up a few of Hyde's habits. Indulging in a pipe or cigar tended to calm his nerves, or even a glass of wine (or ten). Perhaps...yes, perhaps wine would do me good. Something to curb the cravings. I only hope I can stomach the taste.
And yet...dear God...I found myself looking upon the young woman Isabella with a dark interest that shudders and sickens me to my core. I have been able to defeat Hyde, but has he weakened my resolve toward things of that nature? Toward others as well? Has he tainted me with his perverse depravity and debauchery? I can only hope that is not the case. I will pray with every ounce of my being that I will not succumb to this disease.
This disease, like every other, has a cure. I do not need his blood, or any others! Surely it will pass through my system for all it is is a blood borne illness. Another week or two and I will no longer have these hellish cravings. I should have never fell prey to them before... but what was I to do? I had no food, and as hazy and distracted I was, I knew I would not be able to make it through the corridors without falling into one of Erik's traps.
It has been weeks, and yet I still have to convince myself that eating them was the only way I would have survived.
What would happen should I indulge in more? Will I crave more, or will it be sated enough where I can go many months without worry about staring at a patients bleeding wound? Or worse...latching onto it like some fiend.
My hands are shaking again and, for once, I wish that I had taken up a few of Hyde's habits. Indulging in a pipe or cigar tended to calm his nerves, or even a glass of wine (or ten). Perhaps...yes, perhaps wine would do me good. Something to curb the cravings. I only hope I can stomach the taste.