The Smile You Can't Forget (8/?)
eight
If Jensen was honest, he didn't really remember much about the ride home. That in itself was probably enough to tell him that he shouldn't have been driving anywhere - especially not with Jared in the passenger seat, quiet and withdrawn and carrying Jensen's baby - but he figured that he'd save that guilt trip for another day. They had enough to deal with.
The doctors had kept Jared in long enough to run an IV to boost Jared's fluid levels back up, before releasing them with a seemingly never-ending list of instructions. Things Jared can and can't do, what's normal and what's not and food and drink that he should avoid. Not to mention that a particular emphasis had been placed on the fact that the kid was to go to the hospital immediately if anything felt in the slightest bit wrong, and that he was due to attend a doctor's appointment every two weeks.
Jensen had held his mate's hand tightly, wishing that he could bear this burden for him, and had done his best to memorize everything that they'd been told. Next to him, the young omega had been worrying silent, face still far too pale for Jensen's liking; he'd resolved to try and talk the kid around as best as he could as soon as they'd gotten home.
Somehow the two of them had found themselves curled up together in Jensen's bed, dark blinds drawn against the afternoon sun. Jensen had tugged the kid in as close as he could, arms wrapped around him protectively, and it was all he could do to hold on tight as he tried to find the words.
Surprisingly, it was Jared that broke the silence.
"Thank you," The young man muttered quietly, tangling his fingers in Jensen's shirt. "For staying there with me... and for making me go."
Jensen smiled a little despite himself, tucking the kid in just a little tighter and dropping a kiss on the top of his head. "You don't have to thank me, Jay. You're my mate, okay? That means that I'll always stay with you, and I'll always make sure that you're okay. I'm not going anywhere."
Jared nodded, tucking his head in Jensen's neck, letting out a shaky breath.
"I'm so scared," He admitted breathily, and Jensen felt his neck grow damp as the kid finally gave into his emotions, shoulders shaking silently as he cried. Jensen felt tears sting in his own eyes, but he knew that he had to be strong for his mate. Jared need support - not Jensen breaking down just as much.
"I know," He reassured, allowing one hand to rub soothingly up and down the young man's back as the other tangled in the young man's hair. "I know, baby, me too. But it's gonna be okay. If anyone can do this, it's you, you hear me? You're gonna be fine... both of you are, and at the end of this we're going to have a perfect, healthy little baby."
Jared nodded his head, taking a deep breath and obviously doing his best to try and calm down. It wasn't working very wall for him. "I know, it's just there's so much that can go wrong, and-"
Jensen cut him off, tone gentle but firm. "Don't concentrate on that stuff right now. If we have to, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it - for now, just try and stay positive. Sure, there's a lot that could go wrong... but think what we'll be gaining if it all goes right."
Jared nodded again, hands clenching around the comfort of Jensen's shirt for a moment before relaxing a little more, tipping his head back on the pillow a little to offer his mate the closest thing to a smile that he could manage.
"You're kind of perfect." He laughed, and the sound was shaky but it sounded genuine, and a little of the tension in the alpha's shoulder eased. The younger man's eyes were red-rimmed and he was pale, but Jensen didn't think he'd ever loved anybody more than he loved his mate in that moment.
"Pssh," He teased, doing his best to lighten the moment as much as possible. "How has it taken you this long to realize?"
Jared smiled, nuzzling into the crook of Jensen's neck. The alpha knew that he should get up - phone Sam and Jared's boss, Jeff, to tell them that they wouldn't be in tomorrow; that they should talk a little more, discuss whether they wanted to tell people or keep it between themselves for now.
Instead, he gently squeezed the omega in his arms and let his eyes drift shut.
*
By the time that Jensen managed to drag himself from sleep once more, the glowing green numbers on his alarm clock were proudly announcing that it was a little before seven in the evening. Jared was a warm weight resting reassuringly against his side, head still tucked into his neck and one hand bunched in the material of Jensen's shirt - as if seeking comfort even in sleep.
For a long moment, he honestly considered just letting himself fall back to sleep, before recalling his previously made list of things to do with a sigh. Dropping a kiss on his mate's forehead, he reluctantly extracted himself from the warm bed, hesitating for a few brief seconds as Jared stirred lightly. Thankfully, the younger man seemed to settle almost immediately, tucking one arm up underneath the pillow and sighing lightly.
Jensen's eyes skipped towards his mate's flat stomach without conscious thought. It was almost surreal to think that there was a baby growing in there - their baby. Moving slowly in an effort not to wake the younger man, he carefully leant across the bed and pushed Jared's shirt up to place a small kiss against the sleep-warm skin there, still as flat as the day that they'd met. If things were right, there'd soon be a small swell there and Jensen felt excitement thrum through him at the thought.
He wandered towards the kitchen, absently recognizing that neither of them had eaten anything since lunch - something which seemed even more important in light of their current situation. Mindlessly, he put a pan on to boil, adding some pasta. He knew that there was some leftover sauce in the fridge that he could use, and the bonus was that it would be still as edible cold as it was warm, meaning that Jensen was okay to let Jared sleep.
He briefly debated the merits of whiskey over coffee, and in the end it was the realization that Jared couldn't drink with him that had him fussing around and putting the coffee maker on. He pulled two mugs out of the cupboard, on the off chance that Jared woke up whilst the coffee was still warm, and turned back to the past just in time to stop it boiling over.
Carefully maneuvering the pan off the heat, he turned to grab a couple of plays, nearly jumping out of his skin at the sight of Jared in the doorway. He'd never even heard the kid move.
"Jesus," He breathed, pressing a hand to his chest and laughing a little in embarrassment. "You nearly scared me to death."
Jared smiled, crossing the room to sink into one of the bar stools that surrounded the kitchen island. "Sorry, I didn't realize that I was being so quiet."
"It's cool. What are you doing out of bed anyway? I figured you'd be asleep for a little while longer, at least."
"Are you calling me lazy?" Jared teased with a raised brow. "I was looking for you... woke up and you were gone."
Jensen winced a little, wondering whether the kid had thought that he'd left him for good, but Jared didn't seem angry or upset.
"Are you making dinner?" The young omega asked, apparently oblivious to Jensen's inner turmoil. "I'm starving."
The alpha nodded. "Sure am. Nothing special though, just pasta and sauce."
Jared shrugged his shoulders, offering his mate a cheeky grin. "Are you kidding? I'm a college student... Anything cooked is an improvement on what I normally eat."
Jensen shook his head with a grin, turning to quickly serve up two plates, and gratefully dropped into a seat of his own a few seconds later. Jared smiled as a plate was slid across the table to him, gratefully tucking into the food, and for a few minutes there was no noise save for the sounds of the two of them eating.
Eventually, Jensen found himself breaking the silence.
"I was thinking I'd ring in sick tomorrow," He said, slightly awkwardly broaching the topic. "Maybe you could do the same? Might do us both good to have a day off to think things over... especially if you still want to see your parents this weekend."
Jared sighed, hand coming up to run through his hair and fork dropping lightly onto his plate.
"Shit," He said softly. "I'd forgotten all about my parents."
Jensen reached out, gently squeezing his mate's hand, hating how quickly the light had gone from his eyes. Throughout their light teasing, the young man had looked happy, and now he looked anything but. Jensen couldn't help but feel more than a little angry at his mate's parents - no kid should ever be raised without the knowledge that their parents would support them no matter what.
"We don't have to go, if you don't want to."
"No," Jared shook his head. "They're going to freak out even more now, but... better to get it over with, right? Jesus, I'm sorry."
"It's okay." The alpha reassured quickly. "What I told you before hasn't changed, alright? It doesn't matter what they say, I'm not going anywhere."
Jared sighed, but nodded his head.
"Yeah... yeah, you're right. Right, I should phone Jeff before the cafe closes... and I'll phone Chad and ask him to take notes for me in my classes." He paused then, eyes widening a little, before he hesitantly spoke again. "I mean, you don't mind me telling them, right? I'm not gonna, like, tell everyone or anything, but Jeff needs to know and Chad's my best friend, and-"
Jensen cut him off, offering him a soft smile. "You can tell whoever you want, Jay. This is something happy, remember?"
The omega nodded. "Right. I know that, it's just... I'd rather just tell a few people, if that's okay? I just... if something goes wrong, I don't think I could face everybody knowing."
Jensen nodded. "I get it, it's okay. It's up to you, alright? There's no pressure here, I swear."
*
"Hey, Sam."
"Jensen! I was hoping you'd ring." The woman chirped over the phone, as happy as ever. "Did everything go alright? How's Jared?"
"Actually," Jensen said hesitantly, scratching the back of his head somewhat awkwardly. "We got a little bit of unsuspected news. Jay's pregnant."
"Pregnant?" Sam gushed. "Jen, that's fantastic! God, you're going to be a daddy!"
Recalling the doctor's words earlier that day, Jensen couldn't quite work up the same level of excitement. Whilst he was thrilled with the prospect of having a baby - having his and Jared's baby - he was terrified by the knowledge that it could all be pulled out from underneath him without the slightest moment's notice.
"Yeah," He acknowledged. "Look, we're kind of keeping this quiet, okay?"
There was a pause over the line, and when Sam spoke again her voice was soft and gentle. "Is everything okay, Jen? I thought you'd be excited about this, kiddo. You've always wanted rugrats of your own."
"I know," Jensen admitted, glancing through the kitchen doorway to where Jared was curled up on the sofa with his phone pressed to his ear. From the look on his face, Jensen figured that they were having very similar conversations. "The doctor's... worried. For both of them. Jared's under the age that they recommend for male carriers to get pregnant at, and you've seen yourself how damn skinny he is."
"Oh, Jesus," Sam breathed. "I'm sorry, kid. How're you both holding up?"
"As well as can be expected, I guess. Freaked out... shocked. Scared." He sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. "I think we're both gonna stay home tomorrow, try and sort through things a little, if that's okay?"
"Of course," Sam agreed quickly. "Don't even sweat it - take as much time as you need, you hear? I'll tell the guys that Jared's caught himself a nasty virus and the doctor wants someone around to keep an eye on him. You just take care of your boy."
"I always will." Jensen grinned. "No matter what."
<-- previous |
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A/N: Short little filler chapter for you here (sorry about that!), but you'll probably be pleased to know that the next chapter will bring various reactions to the pregnancy news - including both sets of parents, and Chad! Stay tuned, and I'll do my best to keep the updates coming - things are pretty hectic around here with helping my parents on the ranch, working at the cafe and helping out my parents and working on two big bangs too! Hopefully it'll all be worth it in the end!
In other news, a little shoutout to my girl nblaque_impala who's having a tough time of it at the moment... if you've got a few minutes, why not leave her a comment on some of her stuff and encourage her to get back in the game? She's an awesome writer and despite everything, she's still reading through everything I send her in record time to get it to you guys as quickly as possible! That's dedication for you!
Edit: For some reason the spacing keeps messing up. I'll keep trying to fix it, but in the meantime you'll have to bear with me!