New Fic: A Time to Heal Part Ten
Title: A Time to Heal
Author: Twilight
Summary: What the hell just happened? One minute he was holding his gun on Davis and the next he was on the ground with Danny bleeding all over him.
Rated: Pg 13
Feedback: Always welcome
Part One
Part Ten
Later, after he and Steve had shared those first few tentative and soft kisses. After he had enjoyed Steve's exploring, gentle touches to his bruised and battered flesh. After he had experienced the thrill in knowing that Steve was his to touch too. Danny's body had decided it had had enough excitement for the day.
Even though it was still early in the morning, he found that he couldn't keep his eyes from blinking closed and in this more relaxed state, his mind was free to wander...to worry.
He laid propped up against the flimsy hospital issued pillows, listening as Steve turned glossy-paper pages to some outdated magazine, because, Steve had said, he had had some time before he needed to head into work and he wanted to spend that time with Danny, even if Danny would be just sleeping, which, by the way, was still a little creepy, if not sweet.
But Danny couldn't seem to get comfortable, felt restless, his skin a little prickly and warm with sweat that permeated his hair, collected in the folds of his skin, even after Amy had come and helped him to wash, even though he had fresh sheets and blankets, even though he was wearing a clean gown.
He rolled off his hip because his side started to hurt, but his back was stiff… sore, his joints felt hot too and it was an ache that the pain medicine couldn’t seem to touch.
Shifting a little more to his other hip helped, but all the moving wore him out, made him feel a little sick to his stomach, and then he heard Steve walking around the bed, lowering the side rail and perching next to him, taking Danny’s hand in his and that was good.
Very good.
Danny sighed, could feel Steve’s body shifting via the grasp on his hand, and then feather light kisses dotted his closed eyes, and he couldn’t help the goofy grin that spread across his whole face.
Steve was such a sap and Danny loved that about him…all hard as nails exterior and a soft gooey center that only he got to see…well him and Gracie…in fact Steve had shown Grace his softer side first.
Steve’s hand found that spot on the inside of Danny’s elbow, the one that instantly relaxed him and calloused fingertips swirled a pattern over the delicate skin there.
Finally Danny cracked open his eyes and squinted against the artificial light of his hospital room.
Steve looked…well, happy for one.
And Danny really wanted to be the one to make Steve happy, but they needed to talk…
Well, he needed to talk, because Danny was good at talking…and he really wanted to ask Steve how…how he thought that they would work.
Danny had been working up a list while he should have been resting.
Number one, Steve was technically his boss and even though they didn’t have an official fraternization rule, somehow Danny didn’t think it would go over so well with the Governor, the rest of the police force, and let’s not forget the press, that two members of Hawaii's elite task force were in a relationship of a sexual nature, and that brought him to number's two and three.
But every time he even thought about opening his mouth to ask, Steve would look up at him from his magazine, his face open and questioning, like maybe he had been so in tuned to Danny’s body actions, that Steve could tell when Danny had something to say, and hell…maybe Steve had been, but that was beside the point…the point was, that number two…Danny was scared…yes, alright, he could admit that he was terrified, because he had never…never in all his life, had a relationship, a partnership, a friendship like what he had had with Steve and he was afraid he would screw that up, destroy whatever they had shared.
Danny had been hurt before…even before his and Rachel's break-up, and all of his failed relationships must have meant something…something about him.
Long work hours and stressful jobs could kill a romance, even with someone you loved dearly.
And it always seemed to fall apart on him and he couldn't do that again, lose everything, lose Steve…plus, how Steve could even find him attractive with…well, that was point number three.
Danny had always exuded confidence in himself.
Despite his height challenges, he had always had a good body image, worked out to enhance his form, dressed himself to show off his hard-earned physique, but now…all he had to do was look under the sheets and blue hospital gown to see some major physical flaws.
He didn’t care about the future scars, not really, although that was a part of it, a small part.
The larger part was wondering how Steve could possibly find him attractive with the ostomy... Sure, Steve had seen it and he hadn't looked grossed out by it. But once Danny got the bag attached that would contain and collect his shit...how could Steve possibly want to be naked with him, looking like that?
But Danny couldn’t say any of that…for some reason, his tongue was tied...on strike.
He sighed again, circling through his internal dialogue.
Steve’s fingers stilled on his arm and he asked, “Is it…is it because I’m a guy?"
“What?” he turned his head so fast he felt a little dizzy, but he shook it off and went on, because he needed Steve to know, that wasn’t his problem, “no…no, I’ve been…” and damn, why couldn’t he get his brain to engage and his mouth to work. “I’ve thought about…”
Shit…what is my major malfunction?
“So, you’ve thought about it, but never acted on it?”
“Yes…no…I mean…Damnit!” Danny shifted more to his back, wincing, but pressed the button to raise the bed, bringing him closer to Steve.
He felt a rush of heat streak up his chest and waited with his head bowed, breathing harshly through his nose as a wave of dizziness surged through him, but when it passed he tried again, feeling more confident in his speech now that he was eye level with Steve, “Yes,” he managed, “I have thought about it and yes, I was interested…when I was younger, but it…” he didn’t want to open up a whole new can of worms, so he decided not to get into his past failures. “It’s not that, okay…I like you, Steve…I like you a lot.”
And then some.
“The thing is…you may not know this about me, but I’m a worrier.”
Danny watched as Steve’s face went from concerned to amused, “A worrier, you say?”
“Yes, Steven…a worrier, as in I worry…a lot…about all kinds of stuff, but especially about people I love…” and then Steve leaned in and took his mouth again, this time not so chaste and sweet, running a sly tongue across his bottom lip, teasing his mouth opened and delving in, stroking the inside of his cheek before pulling away, Steve's hands resting firmly over his own where they were gripping the sheets.
When Danny finally remembered that in order to see, he would need to open his eyes, Steve was still close, his head slightly canted to the side and Danny could only make out his smirking smile, the pointy tip of his nose and then Steve said, “So you love me than…” lips so close he could feel the wet heat of them over his skin.
“Yes,” he sighed, despite all the thoughts swirling through his head, he knew that he loved Steve, had loved him for a long time now, “but I worry…”
And then Steve was getting his legs under him, pressing Danny back into his pillows with his mouth, kissing and nipping at the tender pulse-point of Danny's throat, his stubble rough jaw and chin.
“Danno,” Steve whispered sometime later.
And Danny felt bereft of the soft touches of Steve's mouth and teeth on his neck, of the warm body looming over him and he dropped his hands from where they gripped the back of Steve's tee, letting Steve arrange himself to sit again on the bed.
“You have nothing to worry about.”
He wanted to protest, to lay out his list, but Steve moved back and looked him dead in the eyes, “listen, okay…just listen to my list of reasons why you have no reason to worry.”
And by God, maybe the man really could read his mind, but he didn’t say that out loud, he didn’t want Steve to get a big head…or bigger than it already was, so instead he murmured, “okay.”
“Okay,” and then Steve took both of his hands, a serious look on his face, one Danny had never seen before. “First, our personal lives are just that. In the military, we learned it was better to not ask, and I know that DADT has been repealed, but that doesn’t much matter to some, so I guess I’m saying, half the force already jokes that we’re married, so as long as we continue like we have in the past, let them think whatever the hell they want, our professional lives should be the same…”
Danny nodded, knowing it wouldn’t be that easy, but he could understand and accept Steve’s reasoning.
“Good, second...so what if we both haven’t got good track records…I think maybe we just needed to find the right person and I don’t know about you, but I…” Steve faltered, but Danny gave his hand a little squeeze of encouragement, because he really wanted to hear what Steve had to say. “I’ve never felt this way Danny, not ever and I’ve been with a few guys before…it was convenient…comfort…whatever, and the women too…but Danny, this is different and I don’t want to label it, if that makes sense…”
And it did, to Danny anyway, because he had felt the same thing Steve was talking about. He had loved some before, Rachel he married and yet, this felt different, so he nodded, encouraging Steve to go on.
“And last, Danny…if all we ever do is hold each other and kiss, I would die a happy a man, but I want you…you understand?
I know you might not feel like that could be possible right now, but all this,” Steve gently laid a hand over Danny’s belly, “all this is temporary, your scars will fade, but even if they don’t, I would still want you…they will be a reminder to me of how strong you are…but do you get it now…I’ll take you any damn way I can get you.” Steve’s face was so open, so honest, so Danny answered him by pulling Steve’s body closer, not caring that it hurt a little to hug, not caring that someone had walked into the room, because as far as he was concerned, there would always only be him and Steve.
As they reluctantly pulled apart, a man in green scrubs came farther in, asking, “Danny Williams?”
“That’s me,” he said, watching as Steve slipped off the bed and plopped back into the chair.
“I’m Kai, I’m here to talk to you a bit about your stoma care and then I think they’re gonna see about getting you up and walking.”
Danny nodded, but didn’t answer, because despite what he and Steve just shared, he still couldn’t quite believe that this part of him wasn’t gross.
“Do you have any questions before I get started?” and the nurse looked to Steve too, probably assuming they were a couple and then it dawned on Danny, that they were a couple, albeit a new one and he smiled at the thought.
“Okay, so I have the appliance.”
Which Danny thought was a ridiculous name for it, because it made it sound like he was gonna be walking around with a fridge attached to his waist or maybe a coffee machine, not that a coffee machine would be so bad, he guessed.
“It’s very discrete and can be hidden under clothes. It’s attached with what we call a wafer.”
He showed Danny the round disk and how to measure his stoma with a guide and cut the center of the wafer to get a good fit.
He showed Danny how to pull the backing off and stick the thing to his skin and he showed Danny how the bag was attached.
“I have a belt,” the nurse reached around Danny, wrapping the elastic band around him and attached it to both sides of the appliance, “it helps support the bag and keeps it from moving around too much. You'll need to empty it at least once a week, more once you start eating solid foods, but every couple of days or whatever you are comfortable with will be fine. In a few days I’ll be back to show you how to empty and remove it, clean the skin around the stoma and reattach a new one. You should be on your feet by then, so we’ll do it in the bathroom.
Once you heal a little more, you can resume your usual activity, the appliance is very durable.
Have you talked to your surgeon about the reversal?”
Danny huffed out, “no,” looking to Steve for confirmation, feeling a little better about himself now, the reality of his situation not nearly as bad as his mind had made it out to be. “He may have told me, but I don’t remember.”
“You’re a candidate for laparoscopic surgery, which has a faster recovery time and less chance of complications. They will make three small incisions and insert some instruments into the abdominal cavity, reattaching the colon. The time frame to the surgery can be a couple to several months depending on how fast you heal, so you need to be comfortable with the care of your stoma and appliance to avoid infection and blockage. I have some pamphlets for you,” but he handed them to Steve instead of Danny, ‘and my business card in case you have any questions or concerns.” Kai gave his card to Danny then and he glanced at it before placing it on the rolling tray table near the bedside.
Amy stuck her head in and asked, “you ready to take a walk?”
He didn’t know if he could, but he wanted to try, so he answered, “sure.”
“Okay, be right back.”
Kai said, “If you need me you can call, anytime, okay?”
“Yes, thank you.”
Then he slipped out and Danny and Steve were alone again.
Steve was thumbing through the brochures, handing the one about love and relationships to him. “Alright, Steven…you have made your point.”
“I have…” Steve questioned, but the innocent act wasn’t working with the mischievous glint in his eyes.
Steve stood up and took the pamphlet from Danny, shuffling them together and stacking them on the table under Kai’s card. “How about we get a head start on Amy?”
Danny was dubious, but he trusted Steve, so he said, “yeah, okay.”
Steve pulled his blankets back, exposing Danny’s body to the cooler air of the room and he couldn’t help but to shiver.
From somewhere, possibly one of the many pockets in his cargo pants, Steve produced an ugly pair of green fuzzy socks with little white grippers on the bottom and slid them on Danny’s bare feet, tickling his insoles, making his legs jump, but also massaging his calves with firm, sure-handed strokes and Danny said, “I don’t even want to know where you got those, do I?”
“Amy,” Steve told him, like it should be obvious, straightening back up, reaching out for Danny’s hands.
Since he was over half way to sitting, it didn’t take much for Danny to straighten, feeling the pull of skin here and a few twinges there.
He shifted his legs down over the bed as Steve supported him and in some ninja like move, Steve had him perched on the edge of the bed, his head resting on Steve’s chest. “Put your arms around my neck, Danno, it’ll stretch out your back, work out some of the kinks.”
Danny reached up, feeling Steve's warm hands skitter around his sides to stroke the skin of his back as he wrapped his arms around Steve's neck, interlocking his fingers and it felt good, really good.
A bit of dizziness swirled around him, but he rested his head back in the crook of Steve’s neck and it passed.
“Doing okay,” Steve whispered, kissing Danny’s temple.
“Yup,” Danny sighed, feeling like he could stay in this position all day.
“How about your legs…are they numb?”
He hadn’t given his legs much thought, but now that Steve mentioned it, they were a little heavy, like blood was pooling there.
“Amy said they may feel strange…once you’re on oral pain meds, the feeling will go away.”
And Danny thought that it must be the catheter in his back that was pinching him, he had sort of forgotten about it until now.
“I see you’re up.”
Danny didn’t bother to turn his head, but he waved at Amy to let her know he hadn’t just passed out against Steve.
“How are the legs?” She repeated Steve’s question, but he answered anyway.
“lil heavy.”
“When’s the last time you gave yourself a dose of pain meds?”
He had no idea, but of course Steve had been paying attention, because he answered for him, “about twenty minutes ago,” and then Steve was putting hands on Danny’s shoulders, pushing him upright on the bed.
Amy put the pain pump in his hand and he pressed the button.
He was still pleasantly numb, but he guessed that being manhandled and walking would probably take it out of him and even though he wasn’t a wuss, he sure didn’t like being in pain either.
She fiddled around with the IV pole while they waited for the drugs to kick in and then she opened a package and pulled out something, unfastening a long piece of Velcro from what looked like a weight lifting belt. “It’ll help support your belly and incision…you’ll be able to move around without putting too much pressure on your abdomen.
She somehow scooted in between him and Steve, lifting his gown and wrapping the thing around his middle, securing the Velcro down the center, pinning his drainage bag to the front before dropping the gown back to cover his thighs, then another gown was pulled from a drawer and she threaded his arms through the sleeves backwards, making it into a robe of sorts.
“Ready?”
He wanted to be, but the meds were making him feel a little loopy, a little heavy.
Steve snorted and then took both his arms as Amy supported his middle and together they scooted him off the edge of the bed.
When his feet hit the floor, he could feel his knees start to buckle, but Steve had a firm hold on him, pulled him up until his legs locked.
“How’s the pain,” Amy asked, moving to the side to pull his IV pole closer.
“It’s…it’s not too bad.”
Steve shot him a look, like he had been lying, but it was the truth. Upright, he felt light headed and heavy, but the pain was somewhere in the background, just under the surface and he hoped it stayed that way.
“Okay, then lets get this show on the road.”
Steve somehow managed to slide to the side without hurting him, helping support Danny’s weight on his left and Amy shoved the IV pole into his right hand.
He leaned heavily on it, pushing it a little as he took a step with his right foot.
It felt strange, a little like his legs weren’t quite under his own control, but he managed to shuffle…right step, left step, until he had reached the sliding glass door.
“How about you try to make it half way down the hall…go to the nurse’s station and back?’
Danny looked toward the nurse’s station, seeing Kailani sitting behind the circular desk, writing something, but she looked up and smiled.
It was maybe twenty feet away, but to Danny it seemed too far to go.
“Come on, babe…you can do this.”
And for Steve, he would do and try anything, so he started the awkward shuffle again, Steve on his left, pole pushed along on the right and Amy walking behind him incase he would fall, but Steve had a hold of him, so he knew he didn’t have to worry about that.
Once he finally reached the desk, he felt a little faint and hot, but Amy told him to rest a second before going back.
It was just him and Steve on the return trip and when he had gotten back to his room, he found Amy had brought in a chair. It was thinner than a recliner, but looked like one. A sheet was tossed over the back and one of those things Danny had been lying on, it looked like a pad of some sort and the nurses had called them chucks, was spread over the seat.
Steve guided him toward the chair, arranged the IV pole so that when he helped Danny turn and sit, it wouldn’t tangle and then finally Danny was down.
“Hey, brah…glad to see you sitting up and getting around.” Chin came in the room, a broad smile on his face. “Looks like you are feeling much better.”
If he thought he could talk, he would answer, but he was out of breath right now…suddenly exhausted and covered in a sheen of new sweat, but he nodded his head, swallowing a time or two, trying to catch his breath before getting out, “yeah…I think they... need the room, so they’re... tryin' to... kick me out.”
Steve waited until Danny shifted and got more comfortable before covering his legs with a thin blanket. “If all goes according to plan, tomorrow he’ll be in a private room, feasting on broth and Jell-O and watching infomercials about gold coins.”
“That’s great news, Danny,” Chin agreed, “I just wanted to see how you were doing…do you need anything before I head out…since you don’t have a TV, a magazine, maybe?”
“Nah…” he couldn’t help the heavy droop of his eyelids, “but thanks, Chin.”
“Anytime, Danny…can I see you for a minute, Steve?”
Danny heard them step out the door and at some point later he opened his eyes to see Steve looming over him, a funny sorta look on his face, “What? Do I have a booger or something,” and Danny lifted a hand to wipe under his nose, because the ostomy was one thing, but Steve shouldn't have to be subjected to his dried snot too.
“No,” Steve leaned in and kissed his forehead and Danny thought that maybe that's what Steve had been doing before he had opened his eyes. “You’re a little warm again…I’ll let Amy know.”
“Do you have to go…what did Chin want?”
Steve pressed the call button on the bed rail, telling him, “yeah…I’m going in to work for a few hours and Chin was just bringing me up to speed on the case, but you don’t need to worry about that.”
Kailani slipped in while they were talking, “everything okay?”
“He’s warm again,” Steve told her before Danny could say he was fine…exhausted, but feeling mostly okay.
She got the ear thermometer from a drawer and pressed it into Danny’s ear, “One zero one point one…I’ll let Dr. Hoy know.”
“Go on, Steve…I’m fine…” he didn’t manage to open his eyes while he spoke, but he could tell that Steve was making a face at him, so he peeled his heavy lids back and said, “really babe…just worn out from my trip down the hall.”
The nurse had already slipped out, so Steve leaned in and kissed his mouth, ran his blunt fingers through Danny’s wavy hair, “okay, but you call me if you need me, otherwise I’ll be back this afternoon,” then Steve looked at his watch, “It’s almost ten, so your parents will be here soon.”
And as if Steve had conjured them up, Danny’s ma and pop breezed into the room.
“Hey, Monkey Boy. Look at you…you feeling better?’
His father and then his mother leaned over and each kissed him on the head.
“Yeah, I’m feeling a lot better.”
Steve patted his shoulder, giving him a gentle caress, before moving to the door, “see ya later, Danno.”
“Kay, later.” And after Steve slipped out he spotted his ma giving him one of her looks.
She had way more faces than Steve and this one he had seen a few times before.
She was questioning something he had done or said, but he couldn’t dwell on it, because his pop had set a bag on his bed and started pulling things out, handing some to Danny.
“We got your phone from Kono,” he explained, handing the cell over. “You can’t use it in here, but tomorrow, when they move you, you can.”
“How did you know…”
“Please, you think your mother ain’t gonna hunt that doctor down every time she comes to visit you?”
“Pop is gonna go out and get you some soup for lunch, baby. Dr. Hoy said you could have soup as long as the broth was clear.”
And then Danny’s belly growled.
“Maybe you should go now, Jimmy?” she asked, looking between him and his dad.
“It’s okay...it's only ten...” Danny tried to say, but his pop winked at him and went out the door.
Then his ma handed him a book…the book he had been trying to read for awhile, but had never managed more than a few pages a night, usually passing out before he even could mark his place. “We called the library and explained the situation. They extended the loan for another two weeks, so you should be able to finish it.”
He sat the book in his lap, realizing his folks must have gone by his place and he hoped that it was at least half way decent, because his ma would give him hell for being a slob. “What else you got in there?” he wondered, looking toward the open bag on the bed.
“We packed some of your sleep clothes...underpants."
Oh, god...his ma had been rooting through his undie drawer and he had kept...stuff in there...
He was sure his face must have been as red as the fire engine his pop used to drive, but his ma went on, "Dr. Hoy said that you could wear them when you are downgraded to the regular ward and I got your toiletries, your IPod, you're laptop so you can Skype Bee, Bec and Ruthie, and Pop got you some magazines, some cross-word puzzles, stuff to keep you occupied.”
“Thanks ma,” he opened his arms and she leaned in, hugging and then slapping him lightly on the shoulder when she pulled away.
“You scared the shit outta me, Daniel…”
“I know, ma and I’m sorry,” and Danny really was. He didn’t like upsetting his parents, but they understood that he loved his job and that it was something he was good at.
“It’s bad enough I have to worry about your Pop still going on calls,” and it looked like she was going to say more, but instead she shook her head, “You just be careful, baby…okay?” she pulled the visitor chair closer to him, turning and sitting to face him.
“Believe me, Ma; I don’t want to ever do this again.”
“I know, so you feel a little hot to me...are you sure you’re okay?”
He could say fine, but she always saw right through all his bullshit, so instead he told her, “I’m tired…took a little stroll down the hall with Steve, but nothings really hurting, so I’m doing okay.”
She seemed satisfied with his answer, so she shifted back, drawling one long leg up and under her, settling in, “So…Steve?”
“What about him?” but he knew what his mother was getting at.
She had taken one look and had known, however mothers could do that, but she had known, so there was no use denying anything.
“I like him,” she told him.
And Danny agreed, “I like him, too.”
“Okay, Danny…okay…just be careful…I don’t want to see you get hurt like with Richie.”
Danny hadn’t really thought about Richie since before this morning when he almost brought it up with Steve and he didn’t really want to think about him now either. “Steve’s not Richie, Ma and I’m not seventeen anymore.”
“I know, baby…and you may not know this about me, but I’m a worrier…”
When his dad came back with a bag smelling of heavenly chicken broth, he demanded to know why they were both laughing, but Danny just shook his head, “You had to have been here.”
“I bet…” his pop lowered the rolling tray table and unpacked the bag onto it while his ma looked over the brochures Steve had left there, her ears turning a little pink when she got to the love and relationship one on the bottom.
“So, I got chicken broth with some soft noodles and some Jell-O,” he put the offering on the table, “and I happen to know lemon Jell-O is one of your favorites,” he winked at Danny again, and Danny laughed at the shared in-joke.
His dad would occasionally tease him about his imaginary friends once he had grown out of them, once his baby brother came along.
And he didn’t know why, just that when he was very small, Jell-O was just about one of the only things they could get him to eat and so his friends were named, Orangello and Lemongello.
“You want juice or water, baby?” his ma asked, holding an apple juice box in one hand and his water cup in the other.
Even though his belly was growling and he felt a little hungry, once his pop took the lid off the soup, the sight and smell of it was turning his stomach, so he asked for, “water please.”
She poured him a fresh cup and then sat on the side of his bed, his pop in the chair. His dad dug in the bag and pulled out another container and handed it to his ma and then took out one for himself.
It looked like they were all having soup for an early lunch and Danny was grateful that they would be joining him instead of watching him eat.
The first little sip was tasty and his stomach gurgled and rumbled, but in a good way.
He managed about half, then took a few bites of his Jell-O, drank some of his water, but he was full and pushed the tray away.
“Done, baby?” his ma cleaned up the leftovers, pulling the tray from over him, but left it near by incase he wanted a drink or to grab his book or the pamphlets left by Kai, but all Danny really wanted to do now was sleep.
So he asked, "Can you help me get back in bed?"
His father reached around him, lightly circling his middle and let Danny grip his shoulders.
"Ready, kiddo?"
"Yup," and he planted his feet and pushed up on rubbery legs, digging his fingers into his pop's shoulders, but he managed to stand within the circle of his father's arms.
"Doing okay," his ma asked and he nodded, feeling things pull and pinch and a pressure at his bladder that had been missing for a few days.
"Can you..." he tried, blushing bright red once again. "I need to use..."
His pop got the idea and slid to the side, helping arrange the IV pole and supporting Danny to the door to the bathroom, stopping with Danny standing in front of the toilet and he was a little thankful that his pop was here with him instead of Steve, because this was even worse than dried snot.
"Do you need..."
"I got it...thank you," and he waited until his dad let go and took a few steps back, partially closing the door to give him a few minutes of privacy. He gripped the pole, the bags still shifting and shaking from being pushed and used like a crutch and with his other hand he pulled up the front of the gown.
Kailani had left a plastic measuring device inside the toilet and he stared at it as he strained to start the stream.
Finally he got a little relief but it seemed like maybe he still had to go.
He stood there a little longer, until his legs felt like noodles and his vision blinked out a few times and he thought that he really needed to lie down...now.
He dropped the front of his gown and clung to the IV pole, weakly calling, "Pop," not liking the warbly pitch to his voice, but his dad hurried in and put a strong arm around him.
"I gotcha, Monkey Boy, I gotcha...lets get you in bed."
He leaned heavily on his pop and his ma grabbed the IV pole and pushed it for him.
By the time they got to the bed, Danny thought that his father had carried most of his weight, but his pop was strong...one of the strongest men he had known.
His ma pulled the bedding back as his pop helped him sit and swung his legs up, arranging his clothes and sheets, pulling the blanket to his quivering chin and one of them pressed the pain pump into his hand, but Danny didn't know which one, because his eyes were closed as he fought off his latest dizzy spell.
He didn't think he was in pain, already felt numb, yet it was different from the numbness the pain medicine caused.
He pushed the button anyway.
“Rest,” his pop said, smoothing his hair off his forehead, lightly grasping Danny's wrist, pressing fingers to the underside and Danny thought, is he taking my pulse?
“We'll be here, babe," his ma leaned in and kissed his forehead, her cool lips lingering like she used to do when Danny was a kid and his ma would kiss them to check for fever. When she pulled back she said, "if you wake up and we’re gone, it’s only to pick Gracie up from school for her visit.”
He nodded against the pillows, eyes still closed, breathing evening out as the medicine took hold and his bed was lowered so he could sleep a little better.
Still, little surges of achy heat settled into his joints and his stomach felt off...but he was too exhausted to really worry, thinking that when he woke, it would all be better.
Part Eleven
Author: Twilight
Summary: What the hell just happened? One minute he was holding his gun on Davis and the next he was on the ground with Danny bleeding all over him.
Rated: Pg 13
Feedback: Always welcome
Part One
Part Ten
Later, after he and Steve had shared those first few tentative and soft kisses. After he had enjoyed Steve's exploring, gentle touches to his bruised and battered flesh. After he had experienced the thrill in knowing that Steve was his to touch too. Danny's body had decided it had had enough excitement for the day.
Even though it was still early in the morning, he found that he couldn't keep his eyes from blinking closed and in this more relaxed state, his mind was free to wander...to worry.
He laid propped up against the flimsy hospital issued pillows, listening as Steve turned glossy-paper pages to some outdated magazine, because, Steve had said, he had had some time before he needed to head into work and he wanted to spend that time with Danny, even if Danny would be just sleeping, which, by the way, was still a little creepy, if not sweet.
But Danny couldn't seem to get comfortable, felt restless, his skin a little prickly and warm with sweat that permeated his hair, collected in the folds of his skin, even after Amy had come and helped him to wash, even though he had fresh sheets and blankets, even though he was wearing a clean gown.
He rolled off his hip because his side started to hurt, but his back was stiff… sore, his joints felt hot too and it was an ache that the pain medicine couldn’t seem to touch.
Shifting a little more to his other hip helped, but all the moving wore him out, made him feel a little sick to his stomach, and then he heard Steve walking around the bed, lowering the side rail and perching next to him, taking Danny’s hand in his and that was good.
Very good.
Danny sighed, could feel Steve’s body shifting via the grasp on his hand, and then feather light kisses dotted his closed eyes, and he couldn’t help the goofy grin that spread across his whole face.
Steve was such a sap and Danny loved that about him…all hard as nails exterior and a soft gooey center that only he got to see…well him and Gracie…in fact Steve had shown Grace his softer side first.
Steve’s hand found that spot on the inside of Danny’s elbow, the one that instantly relaxed him and calloused fingertips swirled a pattern over the delicate skin there.
Finally Danny cracked open his eyes and squinted against the artificial light of his hospital room.
Steve looked…well, happy for one.
And Danny really wanted to be the one to make Steve happy, but they needed to talk…
Well, he needed to talk, because Danny was good at talking…and he really wanted to ask Steve how…how he thought that they would work.
Danny had been working up a list while he should have been resting.
Number one, Steve was technically his boss and even though they didn’t have an official fraternization rule, somehow Danny didn’t think it would go over so well with the Governor, the rest of the police force, and let’s not forget the press, that two members of Hawaii's elite task force were in a relationship of a sexual nature, and that brought him to number's two and three.
But every time he even thought about opening his mouth to ask, Steve would look up at him from his magazine, his face open and questioning, like maybe he had been so in tuned to Danny’s body actions, that Steve could tell when Danny had something to say, and hell…maybe Steve had been, but that was beside the point…the point was, that number two…Danny was scared…yes, alright, he could admit that he was terrified, because he had never…never in all his life, had a relationship, a partnership, a friendship like what he had had with Steve and he was afraid he would screw that up, destroy whatever they had shared.
Danny had been hurt before…even before his and Rachel's break-up, and all of his failed relationships must have meant something…something about him.
Long work hours and stressful jobs could kill a romance, even with someone you loved dearly.
And it always seemed to fall apart on him and he couldn't do that again, lose everything, lose Steve…plus, how Steve could even find him attractive with…well, that was point number three.
Danny had always exuded confidence in himself.
Despite his height challenges, he had always had a good body image, worked out to enhance his form, dressed himself to show off his hard-earned physique, but now…all he had to do was look under the sheets and blue hospital gown to see some major physical flaws.
He didn’t care about the future scars, not really, although that was a part of it, a small part.
The larger part was wondering how Steve could possibly find him attractive with the ostomy... Sure, Steve had seen it and he hadn't looked grossed out by it. But once Danny got the bag attached that would contain and collect his shit...how could Steve possibly want to be naked with him, looking like that?
But Danny couldn’t say any of that…for some reason, his tongue was tied...on strike.
He sighed again, circling through his internal dialogue.
Steve’s fingers stilled on his arm and he asked, “Is it…is it because I’m a guy?"
“What?” he turned his head so fast he felt a little dizzy, but he shook it off and went on, because he needed Steve to know, that wasn’t his problem, “no…no, I’ve been…” and damn, why couldn’t he get his brain to engage and his mouth to work. “I’ve thought about…”
Shit…what is my major malfunction?
“So, you’ve thought about it, but never acted on it?”
“Yes…no…I mean…Damnit!” Danny shifted more to his back, wincing, but pressed the button to raise the bed, bringing him closer to Steve.
He felt a rush of heat streak up his chest and waited with his head bowed, breathing harshly through his nose as a wave of dizziness surged through him, but when it passed he tried again, feeling more confident in his speech now that he was eye level with Steve, “Yes,” he managed, “I have thought about it and yes, I was interested…when I was younger, but it…” he didn’t want to open up a whole new can of worms, so he decided not to get into his past failures. “It’s not that, okay…I like you, Steve…I like you a lot.”
And then some.
“The thing is…you may not know this about me, but I’m a worrier.”
Danny watched as Steve’s face went from concerned to amused, “A worrier, you say?”
“Yes, Steven…a worrier, as in I worry…a lot…about all kinds of stuff, but especially about people I love…” and then Steve leaned in and took his mouth again, this time not so chaste and sweet, running a sly tongue across his bottom lip, teasing his mouth opened and delving in, stroking the inside of his cheek before pulling away, Steve's hands resting firmly over his own where they were gripping the sheets.
When Danny finally remembered that in order to see, he would need to open his eyes, Steve was still close, his head slightly canted to the side and Danny could only make out his smirking smile, the pointy tip of his nose and then Steve said, “So you love me than…” lips so close he could feel the wet heat of them over his skin.
“Yes,” he sighed, despite all the thoughts swirling through his head, he knew that he loved Steve, had loved him for a long time now, “but I worry…”
And then Steve was getting his legs under him, pressing Danny back into his pillows with his mouth, kissing and nipping at the tender pulse-point of Danny's throat, his stubble rough jaw and chin.
“Danno,” Steve whispered sometime later.
And Danny felt bereft of the soft touches of Steve's mouth and teeth on his neck, of the warm body looming over him and he dropped his hands from where they gripped the back of Steve's tee, letting Steve arrange himself to sit again on the bed.
“You have nothing to worry about.”
He wanted to protest, to lay out his list, but Steve moved back and looked him dead in the eyes, “listen, okay…just listen to my list of reasons why you have no reason to worry.”
And by God, maybe the man really could read his mind, but he didn’t say that out loud, he didn’t want Steve to get a big head…or bigger than it already was, so instead he murmured, “okay.”
“Okay,” and then Steve took both of his hands, a serious look on his face, one Danny had never seen before. “First, our personal lives are just that. In the military, we learned it was better to not ask, and I know that DADT has been repealed, but that doesn’t much matter to some, so I guess I’m saying, half the force already jokes that we’re married, so as long as we continue like we have in the past, let them think whatever the hell they want, our professional lives should be the same…”
Danny nodded, knowing it wouldn’t be that easy, but he could understand and accept Steve’s reasoning.
“Good, second...so what if we both haven’t got good track records…I think maybe we just needed to find the right person and I don’t know about you, but I…” Steve faltered, but Danny gave his hand a little squeeze of encouragement, because he really wanted to hear what Steve had to say. “I’ve never felt this way Danny, not ever and I’ve been with a few guys before…it was convenient…comfort…whatever, and the women too…but Danny, this is different and I don’t want to label it, if that makes sense…”
And it did, to Danny anyway, because he had felt the same thing Steve was talking about. He had loved some before, Rachel he married and yet, this felt different, so he nodded, encouraging Steve to go on.
“And last, Danny…if all we ever do is hold each other and kiss, I would die a happy a man, but I want you…you understand?
I know you might not feel like that could be possible right now, but all this,” Steve gently laid a hand over Danny’s belly, “all this is temporary, your scars will fade, but even if they don’t, I would still want you…they will be a reminder to me of how strong you are…but do you get it now…I’ll take you any damn way I can get you.” Steve’s face was so open, so honest, so Danny answered him by pulling Steve’s body closer, not caring that it hurt a little to hug, not caring that someone had walked into the room, because as far as he was concerned, there would always only be him and Steve.
As they reluctantly pulled apart, a man in green scrubs came farther in, asking, “Danny Williams?”
“That’s me,” he said, watching as Steve slipped off the bed and plopped back into the chair.
“I’m Kai, I’m here to talk to you a bit about your stoma care and then I think they’re gonna see about getting you up and walking.”
Danny nodded, but didn’t answer, because despite what he and Steve just shared, he still couldn’t quite believe that this part of him wasn’t gross.
“Do you have any questions before I get started?” and the nurse looked to Steve too, probably assuming they were a couple and then it dawned on Danny, that they were a couple, albeit a new one and he smiled at the thought.
“Okay, so I have the appliance.”
Which Danny thought was a ridiculous name for it, because it made it sound like he was gonna be walking around with a fridge attached to his waist or maybe a coffee machine, not that a coffee machine would be so bad, he guessed.
“It’s very discrete and can be hidden under clothes. It’s attached with what we call a wafer.”
He showed Danny the round disk and how to measure his stoma with a guide and cut the center of the wafer to get a good fit.
He showed Danny how to pull the backing off and stick the thing to his skin and he showed Danny how the bag was attached.
“I have a belt,” the nurse reached around Danny, wrapping the elastic band around him and attached it to both sides of the appliance, “it helps support the bag and keeps it from moving around too much. You'll need to empty it at least once a week, more once you start eating solid foods, but every couple of days or whatever you are comfortable with will be fine. In a few days I’ll be back to show you how to empty and remove it, clean the skin around the stoma and reattach a new one. You should be on your feet by then, so we’ll do it in the bathroom.
Once you heal a little more, you can resume your usual activity, the appliance is very durable.
Have you talked to your surgeon about the reversal?”
Danny huffed out, “no,” looking to Steve for confirmation, feeling a little better about himself now, the reality of his situation not nearly as bad as his mind had made it out to be. “He may have told me, but I don’t remember.”
“You’re a candidate for laparoscopic surgery, which has a faster recovery time and less chance of complications. They will make three small incisions and insert some instruments into the abdominal cavity, reattaching the colon. The time frame to the surgery can be a couple to several months depending on how fast you heal, so you need to be comfortable with the care of your stoma and appliance to avoid infection and blockage. I have some pamphlets for you,” but he handed them to Steve instead of Danny, ‘and my business card in case you have any questions or concerns.” Kai gave his card to Danny then and he glanced at it before placing it on the rolling tray table near the bedside.
Amy stuck her head in and asked, “you ready to take a walk?”
He didn’t know if he could, but he wanted to try, so he answered, “sure.”
“Okay, be right back.”
Kai said, “If you need me you can call, anytime, okay?”
“Yes, thank you.”
Then he slipped out and Danny and Steve were alone again.
Steve was thumbing through the brochures, handing the one about love and relationships to him. “Alright, Steven…you have made your point.”
“I have…” Steve questioned, but the innocent act wasn’t working with the mischievous glint in his eyes.
Steve stood up and took the pamphlet from Danny, shuffling them together and stacking them on the table under Kai’s card. “How about we get a head start on Amy?”
Danny was dubious, but he trusted Steve, so he said, “yeah, okay.”
Steve pulled his blankets back, exposing Danny’s body to the cooler air of the room and he couldn’t help but to shiver.
From somewhere, possibly one of the many pockets in his cargo pants, Steve produced an ugly pair of green fuzzy socks with little white grippers on the bottom and slid them on Danny’s bare feet, tickling his insoles, making his legs jump, but also massaging his calves with firm, sure-handed strokes and Danny said, “I don’t even want to know where you got those, do I?”
“Amy,” Steve told him, like it should be obvious, straightening back up, reaching out for Danny’s hands.
Since he was over half way to sitting, it didn’t take much for Danny to straighten, feeling the pull of skin here and a few twinges there.
He shifted his legs down over the bed as Steve supported him and in some ninja like move, Steve had him perched on the edge of the bed, his head resting on Steve’s chest. “Put your arms around my neck, Danno, it’ll stretch out your back, work out some of the kinks.”
Danny reached up, feeling Steve's warm hands skitter around his sides to stroke the skin of his back as he wrapped his arms around Steve's neck, interlocking his fingers and it felt good, really good.
A bit of dizziness swirled around him, but he rested his head back in the crook of Steve’s neck and it passed.
“Doing okay,” Steve whispered, kissing Danny’s temple.
“Yup,” Danny sighed, feeling like he could stay in this position all day.
“How about your legs…are they numb?”
He hadn’t given his legs much thought, but now that Steve mentioned it, they were a little heavy, like blood was pooling there.
“Amy said they may feel strange…once you’re on oral pain meds, the feeling will go away.”
And Danny thought that it must be the catheter in his back that was pinching him, he had sort of forgotten about it until now.
“I see you’re up.”
Danny didn’t bother to turn his head, but he waved at Amy to let her know he hadn’t just passed out against Steve.
“How are the legs?” She repeated Steve’s question, but he answered anyway.
“lil heavy.”
“When’s the last time you gave yourself a dose of pain meds?”
He had no idea, but of course Steve had been paying attention, because he answered for him, “about twenty minutes ago,” and then Steve was putting hands on Danny’s shoulders, pushing him upright on the bed.
Amy put the pain pump in his hand and he pressed the button.
He was still pleasantly numb, but he guessed that being manhandled and walking would probably take it out of him and even though he wasn’t a wuss, he sure didn’t like being in pain either.
She fiddled around with the IV pole while they waited for the drugs to kick in and then she opened a package and pulled out something, unfastening a long piece of Velcro from what looked like a weight lifting belt. “It’ll help support your belly and incision…you’ll be able to move around without putting too much pressure on your abdomen.
She somehow scooted in between him and Steve, lifting his gown and wrapping the thing around his middle, securing the Velcro down the center, pinning his drainage bag to the front before dropping the gown back to cover his thighs, then another gown was pulled from a drawer and she threaded his arms through the sleeves backwards, making it into a robe of sorts.
“Ready?”
He wanted to be, but the meds were making him feel a little loopy, a little heavy.
Steve snorted and then took both his arms as Amy supported his middle and together they scooted him off the edge of the bed.
When his feet hit the floor, he could feel his knees start to buckle, but Steve had a firm hold on him, pulled him up until his legs locked.
“How’s the pain,” Amy asked, moving to the side to pull his IV pole closer.
“It’s…it’s not too bad.”
Steve shot him a look, like he had been lying, but it was the truth. Upright, he felt light headed and heavy, but the pain was somewhere in the background, just under the surface and he hoped it stayed that way.
“Okay, then lets get this show on the road.”
Steve somehow managed to slide to the side without hurting him, helping support Danny’s weight on his left and Amy shoved the IV pole into his right hand.
He leaned heavily on it, pushing it a little as he took a step with his right foot.
It felt strange, a little like his legs weren’t quite under his own control, but he managed to shuffle…right step, left step, until he had reached the sliding glass door.
“How about you try to make it half way down the hall…go to the nurse’s station and back?’
Danny looked toward the nurse’s station, seeing Kailani sitting behind the circular desk, writing something, but she looked up and smiled.
It was maybe twenty feet away, but to Danny it seemed too far to go.
“Come on, babe…you can do this.”
And for Steve, he would do and try anything, so he started the awkward shuffle again, Steve on his left, pole pushed along on the right and Amy walking behind him incase he would fall, but Steve had a hold of him, so he knew he didn’t have to worry about that.
Once he finally reached the desk, he felt a little faint and hot, but Amy told him to rest a second before going back.
It was just him and Steve on the return trip and when he had gotten back to his room, he found Amy had brought in a chair. It was thinner than a recliner, but looked like one. A sheet was tossed over the back and one of those things Danny had been lying on, it looked like a pad of some sort and the nurses had called them chucks, was spread over the seat.
Steve guided him toward the chair, arranged the IV pole so that when he helped Danny turn and sit, it wouldn’t tangle and then finally Danny was down.
“Hey, brah…glad to see you sitting up and getting around.” Chin came in the room, a broad smile on his face. “Looks like you are feeling much better.”
If he thought he could talk, he would answer, but he was out of breath right now…suddenly exhausted and covered in a sheen of new sweat, but he nodded his head, swallowing a time or two, trying to catch his breath before getting out, “yeah…I think they... need the room, so they’re... tryin' to... kick me out.”
Steve waited until Danny shifted and got more comfortable before covering his legs with a thin blanket. “If all goes according to plan, tomorrow he’ll be in a private room, feasting on broth and Jell-O and watching infomercials about gold coins.”
“That’s great news, Danny,” Chin agreed, “I just wanted to see how you were doing…do you need anything before I head out…since you don’t have a TV, a magazine, maybe?”
“Nah…” he couldn’t help the heavy droop of his eyelids, “but thanks, Chin.”
“Anytime, Danny…can I see you for a minute, Steve?”
Danny heard them step out the door and at some point later he opened his eyes to see Steve looming over him, a funny sorta look on his face, “What? Do I have a booger or something,” and Danny lifted a hand to wipe under his nose, because the ostomy was one thing, but Steve shouldn't have to be subjected to his dried snot too.
“No,” Steve leaned in and kissed his forehead and Danny thought that maybe that's what Steve had been doing before he had opened his eyes. “You’re a little warm again…I’ll let Amy know.”
“Do you have to go…what did Chin want?”
Steve pressed the call button on the bed rail, telling him, “yeah…I’m going in to work for a few hours and Chin was just bringing me up to speed on the case, but you don’t need to worry about that.”
Kailani slipped in while they were talking, “everything okay?”
“He’s warm again,” Steve told her before Danny could say he was fine…exhausted, but feeling mostly okay.
She got the ear thermometer from a drawer and pressed it into Danny’s ear, “One zero one point one…I’ll let Dr. Hoy know.”
“Go on, Steve…I’m fine…” he didn’t manage to open his eyes while he spoke, but he could tell that Steve was making a face at him, so he peeled his heavy lids back and said, “really babe…just worn out from my trip down the hall.”
The nurse had already slipped out, so Steve leaned in and kissed his mouth, ran his blunt fingers through Danny’s wavy hair, “okay, but you call me if you need me, otherwise I’ll be back this afternoon,” then Steve looked at his watch, “It’s almost ten, so your parents will be here soon.”
And as if Steve had conjured them up, Danny’s ma and pop breezed into the room.
“Hey, Monkey Boy. Look at you…you feeling better?’
His father and then his mother leaned over and each kissed him on the head.
“Yeah, I’m feeling a lot better.”
Steve patted his shoulder, giving him a gentle caress, before moving to the door, “see ya later, Danno.”
“Kay, later.” And after Steve slipped out he spotted his ma giving him one of her looks.
She had way more faces than Steve and this one he had seen a few times before.
She was questioning something he had done or said, but he couldn’t dwell on it, because his pop had set a bag on his bed and started pulling things out, handing some to Danny.
“We got your phone from Kono,” he explained, handing the cell over. “You can’t use it in here, but tomorrow, when they move you, you can.”
“How did you know…”
“Please, you think your mother ain’t gonna hunt that doctor down every time she comes to visit you?”
“Pop is gonna go out and get you some soup for lunch, baby. Dr. Hoy said you could have soup as long as the broth was clear.”
And then Danny’s belly growled.
“Maybe you should go now, Jimmy?” she asked, looking between him and his dad.
“It’s okay...it's only ten...” Danny tried to say, but his pop winked at him and went out the door.
Then his ma handed him a book…the book he had been trying to read for awhile, but had never managed more than a few pages a night, usually passing out before he even could mark his place. “We called the library and explained the situation. They extended the loan for another two weeks, so you should be able to finish it.”
He sat the book in his lap, realizing his folks must have gone by his place and he hoped that it was at least half way decent, because his ma would give him hell for being a slob. “What else you got in there?” he wondered, looking toward the open bag on the bed.
“We packed some of your sleep clothes...underpants."
Oh, god...his ma had been rooting through his undie drawer and he had kept...stuff in there...
He was sure his face must have been as red as the fire engine his pop used to drive, but his ma went on, "Dr. Hoy said that you could wear them when you are downgraded to the regular ward and I got your toiletries, your IPod, you're laptop so you can Skype Bee, Bec and Ruthie, and Pop got you some magazines, some cross-word puzzles, stuff to keep you occupied.”
“Thanks ma,” he opened his arms and she leaned in, hugging and then slapping him lightly on the shoulder when she pulled away.
“You scared the shit outta me, Daniel…”
“I know, ma and I’m sorry,” and Danny really was. He didn’t like upsetting his parents, but they understood that he loved his job and that it was something he was good at.
“It’s bad enough I have to worry about your Pop still going on calls,” and it looked like she was going to say more, but instead she shook her head, “You just be careful, baby…okay?” she pulled the visitor chair closer to him, turning and sitting to face him.
“Believe me, Ma; I don’t want to ever do this again.”
“I know, so you feel a little hot to me...are you sure you’re okay?”
He could say fine, but she always saw right through all his bullshit, so instead he told her, “I’m tired…took a little stroll down the hall with Steve, but nothings really hurting, so I’m doing okay.”
She seemed satisfied with his answer, so she shifted back, drawling one long leg up and under her, settling in, “So…Steve?”
“What about him?” but he knew what his mother was getting at.
She had taken one look and had known, however mothers could do that, but she had known, so there was no use denying anything.
“I like him,” she told him.
And Danny agreed, “I like him, too.”
“Okay, Danny…okay…just be careful…I don’t want to see you get hurt like with Richie.”
Danny hadn’t really thought about Richie since before this morning when he almost brought it up with Steve and he didn’t really want to think about him now either. “Steve’s not Richie, Ma and I’m not seventeen anymore.”
“I know, baby…and you may not know this about me, but I’m a worrier…”
When his dad came back with a bag smelling of heavenly chicken broth, he demanded to know why they were both laughing, but Danny just shook his head, “You had to have been here.”
“I bet…” his pop lowered the rolling tray table and unpacked the bag onto it while his ma looked over the brochures Steve had left there, her ears turning a little pink when she got to the love and relationship one on the bottom.
“So, I got chicken broth with some soft noodles and some Jell-O,” he put the offering on the table, “and I happen to know lemon Jell-O is one of your favorites,” he winked at Danny again, and Danny laughed at the shared in-joke.
His dad would occasionally tease him about his imaginary friends once he had grown out of them, once his baby brother came along.
And he didn’t know why, just that when he was very small, Jell-O was just about one of the only things they could get him to eat and so his friends were named, Orangello and Lemongello.
“You want juice or water, baby?” his ma asked, holding an apple juice box in one hand and his water cup in the other.
Even though his belly was growling and he felt a little hungry, once his pop took the lid off the soup, the sight and smell of it was turning his stomach, so he asked for, “water please.”
She poured him a fresh cup and then sat on the side of his bed, his pop in the chair. His dad dug in the bag and pulled out another container and handed it to his ma and then took out one for himself.
It looked like they were all having soup for an early lunch and Danny was grateful that they would be joining him instead of watching him eat.
The first little sip was tasty and his stomach gurgled and rumbled, but in a good way.
He managed about half, then took a few bites of his Jell-O, drank some of his water, but he was full and pushed the tray away.
“Done, baby?” his ma cleaned up the leftovers, pulling the tray from over him, but left it near by incase he wanted a drink or to grab his book or the pamphlets left by Kai, but all Danny really wanted to do now was sleep.
So he asked, "Can you help me get back in bed?"
His father reached around him, lightly circling his middle and let Danny grip his shoulders.
"Ready, kiddo?"
"Yup," and he planted his feet and pushed up on rubbery legs, digging his fingers into his pop's shoulders, but he managed to stand within the circle of his father's arms.
"Doing okay," his ma asked and he nodded, feeling things pull and pinch and a pressure at his bladder that had been missing for a few days.
"Can you..." he tried, blushing bright red once again. "I need to use..."
His pop got the idea and slid to the side, helping arrange the IV pole and supporting Danny to the door to the bathroom, stopping with Danny standing in front of the toilet and he was a little thankful that his pop was here with him instead of Steve, because this was even worse than dried snot.
"Do you need..."
"I got it...thank you," and he waited until his dad let go and took a few steps back, partially closing the door to give him a few minutes of privacy. He gripped the pole, the bags still shifting and shaking from being pushed and used like a crutch and with his other hand he pulled up the front of the gown.
Kailani had left a plastic measuring device inside the toilet and he stared at it as he strained to start the stream.
Finally he got a little relief but it seemed like maybe he still had to go.
He stood there a little longer, until his legs felt like noodles and his vision blinked out a few times and he thought that he really needed to lie down...now.
He dropped the front of his gown and clung to the IV pole, weakly calling, "Pop," not liking the warbly pitch to his voice, but his dad hurried in and put a strong arm around him.
"I gotcha, Monkey Boy, I gotcha...lets get you in bed."
He leaned heavily on his pop and his ma grabbed the IV pole and pushed it for him.
By the time they got to the bed, Danny thought that his father had carried most of his weight, but his pop was strong...one of the strongest men he had known.
His ma pulled the bedding back as his pop helped him sit and swung his legs up, arranging his clothes and sheets, pulling the blanket to his quivering chin and one of them pressed the pain pump into his hand, but Danny didn't know which one, because his eyes were closed as he fought off his latest dizzy spell.
He didn't think he was in pain, already felt numb, yet it was different from the numbness the pain medicine caused.
He pushed the button anyway.
“Rest,” his pop said, smoothing his hair off his forehead, lightly grasping Danny's wrist, pressing fingers to the underside and Danny thought, is he taking my pulse?
“We'll be here, babe," his ma leaned in and kissed his forehead, her cool lips lingering like she used to do when Danny was a kid and his ma would kiss them to check for fever. When she pulled back she said, "if you wake up and we’re gone, it’s only to pick Gracie up from school for her visit.”
He nodded against the pillows, eyes still closed, breathing evening out as the medicine took hold and his bed was lowered so he could sleep a little better.
Still, little surges of achy heat settled into his joints and his stomach felt off...but he was too exhausted to really worry, thinking that when he woke, it would all be better.
Part Eleven