Potential

[dtsou]

Potential is highly overrated. The potential to do well in school. The potential to have a great relationship. The potential to change yourself. All of these things, although undeniably positive, fall far short of the willpower, determination, and perseverance required to turn the potential into a reality. It is far too easy to fall into

Comments

[pessen]

It might be heartbreaking to have the potential and not the discipline, but only if you let it bother you. I know this advice is kinda useless, but I think it's true. You don't have to feel like you have to live up to your "potential", however you define it. I staunchly believe that you should do whatever it is that you think would make you the happiest. I don't care if you have multiple degrees in quantum physics and could be the next Einstein, if you enjoy flipping burgers at McDonald's more than working in a lab, then I think you shouldn't feel guilty about it at all.

I was having a similar discussion with somebody before where they were lamenting the fact that somebody they knew had given up their promising career and had instead decided to stay at home to take care of their children. The person I was talking to essentially felt like that person was wasting their education and talent. I strongly disagreed because I don't believe that it's fair to expect somebody to work in a field that they don't particularly enjoy just because they show an aptitude for it.

Of course, that's just my opinion, and I'm pretty sure lots of people disagree with me. Either way, it just doesn't seem right that a person's talent (or potential) should be a source of guilt or heartbreak. It seems to me that potential should be a source of pride, if anything. Not guilt.

[dtsou]

No, I agree with you. I didn't really mean to comment on what people want to / should do. I was just talking about things like my class example, where people "want" to do well, and have the potential to do well, but they just don't because they can't make themselves put forth the effort to do it.

[pessen]

Ok, well, in that case I would question whether they truly "want" to do well or not. Obviously they would rather do well than do poorly, but it seems like when given the choice between doing well or just doing enough to get by that they choose the latter because that's the balance that they prefer.

For instance, I would like to be rich and successful, but given the choice between hard work to be rich and successful and less work to be in the situation I am in now, I actually prefer the less work.

Does that make sense?

[dtsou]

Yeah it makes sense, but that's not exactly the distinction I'm making, although it's close. I'm saying that given a "choice" to try to get something, most people just don't have the willpower to make themselves work as much as they need to to get it, even though they theoretically would gladly put forth the required work. Now, you could say that they really just don't WANT it enough, and in that respect you'd be right. But that's what I'm talking about, the lack of WANTing something enough. So, back to the class example, I "want" to do well in the class, and given how much work that I would need to do to do well, I would gladly perform that work, but I just can't make myself do it when it actually comes down to it. You could say that by making the decision to stop studying when I get tired, or not going back over an assignment to check answers, is a decision to not do well in the class, but in another sense it's really not, it's just lack of willpower, or whatever you want to call it. So, it's not that there's a lack of potential to do well, it's just that there's a lack of willpower to do well.

[pessen]

I guess it's a matter of semantics. I see your point, but I still stand by mine. If you're a person that is driven to succeed and work hard at things, that's fine. But if you're not a particularly driven person, then I don't think you should feel bad about it. It might run counter to your upbringing, but I just don't think that everybody needs to work as hard as possible and be as successful as possible. I think it's ok to be a little lazy and just enjoy life instead of always being driven to succeed or whatever.

[dtsou]

Well, just because you have the ability to be driven doesn't mean you have to exercise it all the time, or even that you will have less time, or enjoy life any less. For example, for schoolwork, usually if you can be driven and just finish things early, you enjoy the time afterwards much much more than if you procrastinate and do things at the last second. I personally know a few people who can make themselves work very hard at things, but they don't do it all the time, and they have plenty of time to enjoy other things.

[palpablevt]

Hehehe, this is me. :)

[pessen]

I know. I guess I'm just saying that whether or not you are driven seems to be a part of who you are and therefore it seems silly to feel guilty about it. To me it would be as if I said that I felt bad because I wasn't very good at drawing or singing. It's just not who I am and it seems silly to feel bad about it. Whatever happened to "Be Yourself"? :-P

[dtsou]

I agree that it's part of who you are. The crucial point is that being driven is something that you can change about yourself. Raw intelligence/ability/potential is something you can't. And I'm just saying that I'd almost rather be someone who was driven enough to reach those limits and have lower limits, than someone who had really high limits but not enough drive.

[pessen]

I guess. I think you can become a better artist and singer too, though. Granted, your talent level will never change, but you can become better. I think I understand what you're saying (you would rather be Vegeta than Goku, huh?), I just don't see why it should bother you too much.