i can't believe a year's gone by and it feels like i just found out
I told selfcontained I was gonna write her a guide to Chloe/Oliver. Except just listing the episodes wasn't enough, so here's where I babble for 4 pages about them. Sorry, Bethany. :)
SEASON SIX
So, Ollie shows up at the beginning of S6, but their interaction is minimum.
605. Reunion
They finally meet in the end of this episode, the scene is THE CUTEST THING EVER, but the rest of it is awful awful awful.
610. Hydro
Again with the awful awful awful, now with Tori Spelling guest-starring. No, really, just watch the scenes where Chloe figures out Oliver is the Green Arrow. And the RIDICULOUS covert-op Oliver and Clark come up with to take Lois off the Ollie-is-the-Green Arrow story. And the scene where Chloe mocks Clark for his part in it. Everything else is VERY STUPID.
611. Justice
First ever Justice League episode, it's actually a good episode all around. Probably 'cause Steve DeKnight wrote it. And he left Lana out of it too. The Chloe/Ollie stuff is so. fucking. awesome. in hindsight it's one of the episodes you gotta go back and rewatch once you get to the actual good stuff.
Whatever you do, DO NOT WATCH ANYTHING ELSE FROM S6. Not even the crazy amount of naked!Ollie is worth it. His hair is too blond, he's kind of a condescending ASS to Lois *all the time*, and seriously, Justin Hartley and Erica Durance are two of the prettiest people in the universe and yet, when they're in a romantic scene together? THE OPPOSITE OF CHEMISTRY. It's like a black hole opens and sucks ALL OF THE CHEMISTRY FROM THE ROOM, they're awful together. [And no, it's not bias. I find the whole Tess/Oliver thing INCREDIBLY HOT and I would totally 'ship them -- I totally do in S8, even -- if it weren't for the fact that where Chloe goes, so goes my nation.]
SEASON SEVEN
711. Siren
Just watch the teaser and the first part up 'til when Clark yells at Ollie for putting Chloe in danger. Everything else is kinda stupid.
S7 is EVEN WORSE THAN S6, so skip skip skip it.
SEASON EIGHT
This is when the old exec producers left and the new ones started.
Old exec producers = two white dudes who had a seriously disturbing fetish for Lana Lang, and who thought Chloe was the ugly duckling.
New exec producers = a woman and a gay man, both of whom have massive crushes on AMacks. So while yeah, Chloe has a ridiculously fucked-up storyline in S8, the TONE changed completely.
801. Odyssey
ACTUALLY AWESOME episode on all accounts, it's one of my faaaaavorites. The JLA is trying to save both Clark and Chloe, and there's this part when Oliver speaks Russian and OVARIES EXPLODE EVERYWHERE.
803. Toxic
This episode IS RIDICULOUS OMFZ but Chloe looks SO. FUCKING. PRETTY. This is the big Ollie/Tess backstory ep, which I kinda love, but I don't know if you'll do. But I love Tess, so IDK.
807. Identity
Ollie's obligatory yearly downward spiral, part 1. But the ep is pretty OK.
808. Bloodline
The Chloe/Ollie stuff is SO GREAT I CAN'T EVEN, and the rest of the ep is good too.
814. Requiem
Just watch the Chloe/Ollie stuff, the rest of it is all Clark/Lana and IT'S AWFUL. Unless you feel like pointing and laughing a lot. This was KKreuk's last episode ever. Also, the entire fandom hates this episode on behalf of Lex, but I COULDN'T CARE LESS ABOUT THE LUTHORS SO I LIKE THIS STORYLINE LOTS YAY.
[I'm like, the worst Loserville fan ever. AND THAT WAS MY GOAL IN LIFE TOO.]
817. Hex
Best episode of the season, best thing that EVER happened to Chloe. And to Oliver, come to think of it. Bryan Q. Miller = best fucking writer on this show.
820. Beast
There's *one* Chloe/Ollie scene that's pretty intense, everything else is stupid.
822. Doomsday
There's ONE 3-second moment between Chloe and Oliver that is RIDICULOUSLY INTENSE, but UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES YOU ARE TO WATCH THIS EPISODE. There's a reason the entire fandom calls it "Failsday".
Then you can skip to S9 knowing that EVERYONE FUCKED UP BIGTIME, fake!Jimmy Olsen died, Clark left, Lois was Legion!ring-ed to the future, Ollie is being extra-über-emo joining fight clubs and burning his uniform, Tess unleashed a mass of cloned!Kryptonians onto the planet, and Chloe is ALL ALONE watching people from high above her tower instead of living.
SEASON NINE
903. Rabid
ZOMBIES! Actually, this episode is TERRIBLE HORRIBLE, I'm listing it because I know you like zombies. :) And because Chloe and Ollie LOOK SO FUCKING HOT I CAN'T EVEN. But they don't even have any scenes together.
904. Echo
Ollie's obligatory yearly downward spiral, part deux. I probably like this episode more than I should, but it's 'cause I really like the guest actors all around.
905. Roulette
This episode is ridiculous, but I LOVE IT SO MUCH I WANNA MARRY IT AND HAVE ITS BABIES. Ollie-centric journey to hell and back, IT IS THE MOST RIDICULOUS THING EVER BUT IT'S ALSO PERFECT. This is WHERE EVERYTHING STARTED.
Then it's like they didn't know what to do with Oliver for awhile and he's like, in love with Lois again, WHAT? But it's all perfectly ignorable 'cause the episodes SUCK SO HARD I even have trouble telling them apart.
909. Pandora
Dystopian future shenanigans, this episode is BRILLIANT. And the love I have for broken hardened rebellion leader soldier future!Chloe is infinite.
911. Absolute Justice
ACTUALLY AWESOME EPISODE. Well, episodes, 'cause it's a two-parter. Justice Society/Justice League shenanigans. Chloe and Ollie work together lots and are AT THEIR MOST ADORABLE. And the rest of the plot is pretty cool too. This is when Justin Hartley started acting like he wrote "Oliver loves Chloe" on his forehead. AND THEN HE NEVER STOPPED.
912. Warrior
Sort-of an "Hex" sequel, written by the same writer, about the same guest DCU character OF AWESOMENESS. Allison Mack directed this. THE FINAL SCENE = BESTEST SCENE EVER.
914. Conspiracy
The A-plot is bad-bad-gross-bad, and the Chloe/Ollie plot is kinda stupid, but their scenes are saved by the actors being HOT. Trufax.
915. Escape
Romantic weekend getaway shenanigans, Lois >>>> everyone else, JUSTIN HARTLEY'S FACE OWNS THIS EPISODE.
916. Checkmate
Okay, so Checkmate? Is totally my favorite Loserville episode EVER. Everything about this episode is PERFECT.
919. Sacrifice
Justin Hartley wrote this episode to prove to the world that his favorite character is Chloe. No, seriously. IT'S ALL RIGHT THERE IN THE STORYLINE.
921. Salvation
Another ACTUALLY AWESOME EPISODE. The cliffhangers are all ANGSTY HEARTWRENCHING EVIL THINGS, so consider yourself lucky you're gonna watch Lazarus right after you're done with this. I had to live through the hiatus hell and IT ALMOST BROKE ME.
SEASON TEN
1001. Lazarus
Another ACTUALLY AWESOME EPISODE. Though: Angsty angst angstdom OW MY HEART.
[Okay so, from here until Collateral there's very little to no AMacks, but the thing is, they did something sorta brilliant this first half of the season -- everything Oliver does is because/about/for Chloe. It's like Justin Hartley is playing both Ollie and Chloe most of the time, even. And dude's obligatory yearly downward spiral is not ridiculous for the first time.]
1002. Shield
The Ollie stuff is FANTASTIC, Lois and Daniel Jackson in the desert are awesome, the Cat Grant stuff is ridiculous.
1003. Supergirl
OMZ THIS EPISODE SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS just watch the Ollie scenes -- there's a flashback scene from "Warrior" there in the middle -- and SKIP EVERYTHING ELSE FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR BRAIN.
1004. Homecoming
Bestest episode ever! It's not *my* favorite, but yes, it's the best. This is the 200th Loserville episode, btw.
1005. Isis
*hearts* all over this episode. Gen Sparling is an actual good writer who I really hope can get a better gig soon.
1007. Ambush
Fun episode as well, the Ollie & Tess stuff is pretty fucking awesome. Also, it kinda helps that I'm really enjoying the Lois & Clark hijinks rom-com they've got going this season, so that helps liking Isis and Ambush a lot.
1011. Icarus
Daniel Jackson being awesome! Lois and Clark being awesome! Doctor Gaeta being awesome! Courtney being awesome! Ollie being awesome WHILE being his usual adorable idiot!
1012. Collateral
The Matrix ripoff with Chloe playing the part of Morpheus. And Neo. And Trinity. Hee. The Chloe/Ollie stuff is SO GOOD.
1013. Beacon
This episode is kinda lame -- there's plotlines to push ahead, and that's about it. BUT THEY ARE SO PRETTY IN THE WATCHTOWER SCENE IT MAKES UP FOR EVERYTHING ELSE.
1014. Masquerade
BRYAN Q. MILLER MARRY ME. Chloe and Ollie go on a date, then Chloe goes on a crazy trip inside her own mind, and they're very adorbs while at it. Meanwhile, Clark and Lois are so. darn. cute. all. the. time. it's hard not to love them. There's an EVIL CLIFFHANGER OF DOOM that won't be solved until the show returns in April though. But I'm actually not very worried.
1015. Fortune
The Hangover ripoff. I've never seen nor I EVER WILL see that movie, but it's what it is. This is the whackiest episode ever, the format is different, the plot is nothing like the show's ever done before, and well, most adooooooorable last scene ever.
...And that's all she wrote.
Wait, no. J.Hartley is skipping the next 3 episodes [well, two now], and AMacks is coming back to the finale, so there's gonna be more stuff once the season resumes. Maybe I'll edit this once the season is over? :)
Er. I 'ship therefore I am?
(:
SEASON SIX
So, Ollie shows up at the beginning of S6, but their interaction is minimum.
605. Reunion
They finally meet in the end of this episode, the scene is THE CUTEST THING EVER, but the rest of it is awful awful awful.
610. Hydro
Again with the awful awful awful, now with Tori Spelling guest-starring. No, really, just watch the scenes where Chloe figures out Oliver is the Green Arrow. And the RIDICULOUS covert-op Oliver and Clark come up with to take Lois off the Ollie-is-the-Green Arrow story. And the scene where Chloe mocks Clark for his part in it. Everything else is VERY STUPID.
611. Justice
First ever Justice League episode, it's actually a good episode all around. Probably 'cause Steve DeKnight wrote it. And he left Lana out of it too. The Chloe/Ollie stuff is so. fucking. awesome. in hindsight it's one of the episodes you gotta go back and rewatch once you get to the actual good stuff.
Whatever you do, DO NOT WATCH ANYTHING ELSE FROM S6. Not even the crazy amount of naked!Ollie is worth it. His hair is too blond, he's kind of a condescending ASS to Lois *all the time*, and seriously, Justin Hartley and Erica Durance are two of the prettiest people in the universe and yet, when they're in a romantic scene together? THE OPPOSITE OF CHEMISTRY. It's like a black hole opens and sucks ALL OF THE CHEMISTRY FROM THE ROOM, they're awful together. [And no, it's not bias. I find the whole Tess/Oliver thing INCREDIBLY HOT and I would totally 'ship them -- I totally do in S8, even -- if it weren't for the fact that where Chloe goes, so goes my nation.]
SEASON SEVEN
711. Siren
Just watch the teaser and the first part up 'til when Clark yells at Ollie for putting Chloe in danger. Everything else is kinda stupid.
S7 is EVEN WORSE THAN S6, so skip skip skip it.
SEASON EIGHT
This is when the old exec producers left and the new ones started.
Old exec producers = two white dudes who had a seriously disturbing fetish for Lana Lang, and who thought Chloe was the ugly duckling.
New exec producers = a woman and a gay man, both of whom have massive crushes on AMacks. So while yeah, Chloe has a ridiculously fucked-up storyline in S8, the TONE changed completely.
801. Odyssey
ACTUALLY AWESOME episode on all accounts, it's one of my faaaaavorites. The JLA is trying to save both Clark and Chloe, and there's this part when Oliver speaks Russian and OVARIES EXPLODE EVERYWHERE.
803. Toxic
This episode IS RIDICULOUS OMFZ but Chloe looks SO. FUCKING. PRETTY. This is the big Ollie/Tess backstory ep, which I kinda love, but I don't know if you'll do. But I love Tess, so IDK.
807. Identity
Ollie's obligatory yearly downward spiral, part 1. But the ep is pretty OK.
808. Bloodline
The Chloe/Ollie stuff is SO GREAT I CAN'T EVEN, and the rest of the ep is good too.
814. Requiem
Just watch the Chloe/Ollie stuff, the rest of it is all Clark/Lana and IT'S AWFUL. Unless you feel like pointing and laughing a lot. This was KKreuk's last episode ever. Also, the entire fandom hates this episode on behalf of Lex, but I COULDN'T CARE LESS ABOUT THE LUTHORS SO I LIKE THIS STORYLINE LOTS YAY.
[I'm like, the worst Loserville fan ever. AND THAT WAS MY GOAL IN LIFE TOO.]
817. Hex
Best episode of the season, best thing that EVER happened to Chloe. And to Oliver, come to think of it. Bryan Q. Miller = best fucking writer on this show.
820. Beast
There's *one* Chloe/Ollie scene that's pretty intense, everything else is stupid.
822. Doomsday
There's ONE 3-second moment between Chloe and Oliver that is RIDICULOUSLY INTENSE, but UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES YOU ARE TO WATCH THIS EPISODE. There's a reason the entire fandom calls it "Failsday".
Then you can skip to S9 knowing that EVERYONE FUCKED UP BIGTIME, fake!Jimmy Olsen died, Clark left, Lois was Legion!ring-ed to the future, Ollie is being extra-über-emo joining fight clubs and burning his uniform, Tess unleashed a mass of cloned!Kryptonians onto the planet, and Chloe is ALL ALONE watching people from high above her tower instead of living.
SEASON NINE
903. Rabid
ZOMBIES! Actually, this episode is TERRIBLE HORRIBLE, I'm listing it because I know you like zombies. :) And because Chloe and Ollie LOOK SO FUCKING HOT I CAN'T EVEN. But they don't even have any scenes together.
904. Echo
Ollie's obligatory yearly downward spiral, part deux. I probably like this episode more than I should, but it's 'cause I really like the guest actors all around.
905. Roulette
This episode is ridiculous, but I LOVE IT SO MUCH I WANNA MARRY IT AND HAVE ITS BABIES. Ollie-centric journey to hell and back, IT IS THE MOST RIDICULOUS THING EVER BUT IT'S ALSO PERFECT. This is WHERE EVERYTHING STARTED.
Then it's like they didn't know what to do with Oliver for awhile and he's like, in love with Lois again, WHAT? But it's all perfectly ignorable 'cause the episodes SUCK SO HARD I even have trouble telling them apart.
909. Pandora
Dystopian future shenanigans, this episode is BRILLIANT. And the love I have for broken hardened rebellion leader soldier future!Chloe is infinite.
911. Absolute Justice
ACTUALLY AWESOME EPISODE. Well, episodes, 'cause it's a two-parter. Justice Society/Justice League shenanigans. Chloe and Ollie work together lots and are AT THEIR MOST ADORABLE. And the rest of the plot is pretty cool too. This is when Justin Hartley started acting like he wrote "Oliver loves Chloe" on his forehead. AND THEN HE NEVER STOPPED.
912. Warrior
Sort-of an "Hex" sequel, written by the same writer, about the same guest DCU character OF AWESOMENESS. Allison Mack directed this. THE FINAL SCENE = BESTEST SCENE EVER.
914. Conspiracy
The A-plot is bad-bad-gross-bad, and the Chloe/Ollie plot is kinda stupid, but their scenes are saved by the actors being HOT. Trufax.
915. Escape
Romantic weekend getaway shenanigans, Lois >>>> everyone else, JUSTIN HARTLEY'S FACE OWNS THIS EPISODE.
916. Checkmate
Okay, so Checkmate? Is totally my favorite Loserville episode EVER. Everything about this episode is PERFECT.
919. Sacrifice
Justin Hartley wrote this episode to prove to the world that his favorite character is Chloe. No, seriously. IT'S ALL RIGHT THERE IN THE STORYLINE.
921. Salvation
Another ACTUALLY AWESOME EPISODE. The cliffhangers are all ANGSTY HEARTWRENCHING EVIL THINGS, so consider yourself lucky you're gonna watch Lazarus right after you're done with this. I had to live through the hiatus hell and IT ALMOST BROKE ME.
SEASON TEN
1001. Lazarus
Another ACTUALLY AWESOME EPISODE. Though: Angsty angst angstdom OW MY HEART.
[Okay so, from here until Collateral there's very little to no AMacks, but the thing is, they did something sorta brilliant this first half of the season -- everything Oliver does is because/about/for Chloe. It's like Justin Hartley is playing both Ollie and Chloe most of the time, even. And dude's obligatory yearly downward spiral is not ridiculous for the first time.]
1002. Shield
The Ollie stuff is FANTASTIC, Lois and Daniel Jackson in the desert are awesome, the Cat Grant stuff is ridiculous.
1003. Supergirl
OMZ THIS EPISODE SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS just watch the Ollie scenes -- there's a flashback scene from "Warrior" there in the middle -- and SKIP EVERYTHING ELSE FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR BRAIN.
1004. Homecoming
Bestest episode ever! It's not *my* favorite, but yes, it's the best. This is the 200th Loserville episode, btw.
1005. Isis
*hearts* all over this episode. Gen Sparling is an actual good writer who I really hope can get a better gig soon.
1007. Ambush
Fun episode as well, the Ollie & Tess stuff is pretty fucking awesome. Also, it kinda helps that I'm really enjoying the Lois & Clark hijinks rom-com they've got going this season, so that helps liking Isis and Ambush a lot.
1011. Icarus
Daniel Jackson being awesome! Lois and Clark being awesome! Doctor Gaeta being awesome! Courtney being awesome! Ollie being awesome WHILE being his usual adorable idiot!
1012. Collateral
The Matrix ripoff with Chloe playing the part of Morpheus. And Neo. And Trinity. Hee. The Chloe/Ollie stuff is SO GOOD.
1013. Beacon
This episode is kinda lame -- there's plotlines to push ahead, and that's about it. BUT THEY ARE SO PRETTY IN THE WATCHTOWER SCENE IT MAKES UP FOR EVERYTHING ELSE.
1014. Masquerade
BRYAN Q. MILLER MARRY ME. Chloe and Ollie go on a date, then Chloe goes on a crazy trip inside her own mind, and they're very adorbs while at it. Meanwhile, Clark and Lois are so. darn. cute. all. the. time. it's hard not to love them. There's an EVIL CLIFFHANGER OF DOOM that won't be solved until the show returns in April though. But I'm actually not very worried.
1015. Fortune
The Hangover ripoff. I've never seen nor I EVER WILL see that movie, but it's what it is. This is the whackiest episode ever, the format is different, the plot is nothing like the show's ever done before, and well, most adooooooorable last scene ever.
...And that's all she wrote.
Wait, no. J.Hartley is skipping the next 3 episodes [well, two now], and AMacks is coming back to the finale, so there's gonna be more stuff once the season resumes. Maybe I'll edit this once the season is over? :)
Er. I 'ship therefore I am?
(: