Answers to the list-of-characters meme!
So, I have to confess, when I first started getting questions on the meme and comparing them to the list of characters I made before posting, I quickly realized that I had broken the meme. I mean, okay, in rapid succession Arya Stark woke up married to James Hathaway and then Teal'c. And Aral Vorkosigan had a past romantic relationship with Georgia Mason. It just ... no.
So I made a new list, had random.org generate a random order for me, and went again. With much less horrifying results, although there was still one totally unanswerable question.
Here's my (second) list of fifteen characters:
1. Aral Vorkosigan
2. Nate Fick ( GK overview with character summaries | Picture of Nate)
3. Sam Carter
4. Konstantin Bothari
5. Tim "Doc" Bryan ( GK overview with character summaries | Picture of Doc)
6. Daniel Jackson
7. Alys Vorpatril
8. Vala Mal Doran
9. Cameron Mitchell
10. Ray Person ( GK overview with character summaries | Picture of Ray)
11. Teal'c
12. Gregor Vorbarra
13. Simon Illyan
14. Brad Colbert ( GK overview with character summaries | Picture of Brad)
15. Walt Hasser ( GK overview with character summaries | Picture of Walt)
And here are the questions!
From tricksterquinn:
[Daniel Jackson] and [Gregor Vorbarra] embark on a life of crime together. What is it and how does [Cameron Mitchell] react?
Presumably this is a universe where Gregor succeeded in running away at age 25, and joined up with a Daniel Jackson who is a space pirate. Cam, who is logically already space pirating with Daniel, rolls his eyes a bit over Daniel bringing home strays, but Gregor turns out to be pleasantly military and well-trained and competent, and is occasionally even good at taking orders. So Cam ultimately doesn't mind the new guy--especially because Gregor is newer than him and makes him slightly less The New Guy himself!
From keerawa:
[Sam Carter] and [Teal'c] once had a thing, but it ended badly. What happened?
Well, as I understand it, they escaped that eddy in the space-time continuum and now only Teal'c remembers anything about it. :(
From
ellen_fremedon:
1.) [Sam Carter] outs [Gregor Vorbarra]'s secret identity to [Vala Mal Doran]. Is is an accident, or deliberate?
...So, apparently Sam and Vala are also in the space pirate crew, as they should be, and Sam found out Gregor's true identity and told Vala. Which I presume happened when Sam told Daniel to try to figure out what they should do about the situation, and Vala was eavesdropping. So accidentally, although she might have intended to tell Vala a couple of more steps down the line in making plans.
2.) What happens when [Brad Colbert] and [Cameron Mitchell] wake up married in Vegas?
...OH GOD, I WANT TO WATCH.
Ahem. Well. Cam sort of heaves a sigh, resigns himself to having lost his pants again, and waits for his team to turn up and demand his return. But hopefully Cam was drunk enough the night before to spill stuff about the Stargate to Brad, and the easiest way to solve the security breach is to give Brad a (marriage-supporting!) transfer to Cheyenne Mountain, because, come on. Brad's warrior spirit deserves off-planet recons forever and ever.
Also, <3_______________<3 Cam and Brad!
3.) [Aral Vorkosigan], [Daniel Jackson], and [Ray Person] are the final three contestants on some televised competition. (Top Chef, Project Runway, any of the singing and/or dancing shows, etc.) [Nate Fick], [Alys Vorpatril], and [Teal'c] are the judges. [Walt Hasser] is the host. What is the show, and how does the final round play out?
I, uh. Wow. Uh.
+++Divide By Cucumber Error. Please Reinstall Universe And Reboot +++
From browngirl:
1) Because I recced "Brothelers" the other day -- [Daniel Jackson], [Simon Illyan] and [Walt Hasser] work at that brothel. What are their jobs?
In order of obviousness: Simon Illyan is, of course, Head of Security.
Walt is a guard who makes a lot of tips by looking like talent--but make no mistake, Walt will take you out if he has to.
Daniel is an all-purpose tutor for talent--he started out doing language training, but he also does conversational prep on all sorts of arcane topics. (Vala is his favorite/least-favorite student, of course.)
2) [Konstantin Bothari] gets de-aged to a baby; [Teal'c] has to care for them. Wat befalls?
...Oh my God. That's. I really want that to happen now. As long as Bothari never gets re-aged, and he just gets to grow up with Teal'c and Teal'c's assortment of partners/spouses/teammates. Naturally Teal'c would need his Tau'ri friends to help him raising a Tau'ri baby, but baby Konstantin would grow up mentally healthy and safe and loved, and his dad would train him up to be a great warrior. And if/when he showed signs of developing schizophrenia, his assorted parents would get him all the very best help available.
;________;
3) [Aral Vorkosigan] cooks dinner for [Ray Person] and [Nate Fick].
This happened when Aral was about twelve, during Yuri's War. Aral had slipped away from his father and the other generals and found himself helping cook a camp dinner for one of the scout units of hard men who'd just come in from the cold. It was stew and bread. Ray never stopped joking and complaining and ranting, but Nate gave Aral a quiet smile and said thank you, and Aral developed a formative crush from which he never entirely recovered.
4) [Gregor Vorbarra] kidnaps [Alys Vorpatril]. Why? How is [Cameron Mitchell] involved?
Well, Alys, complaining of it, calls it kidnapping, but when one's Emperor Requests and Requires one to take a vacation after a busy year of politicking, it's not particularly a crime. Cam is, I assume, the pretty young reliable officer drafted to escort Lady Vorpatril to her vacation destination, and he is impeccably polite about it and Alys thinks he's a Nice Young Man, and the whole thing is very cordial.
5) [Vala Mal Doran] and [Brad Colbert] fall through a dimensional portal into [Sam Carter]'s purview.
...If Brad is the one loyal Jaffa who stuck with post-Goa'uld Vala, and accompanied her through the Stargate through the SGC, then that's basically canon. With Brad as a loyal Jaffa, which, yes. That works.
6) [Doc Bryan], [Daniel Jackson], and [Teal'c] become superheroes. What are their names/powers/origin stories/etc?
I'm not at all sure that Daniel and Teal'c aren't already superheroes. I guess they could always become more so by ... Ascending or leveling up or something?
Doc Bryan, uh, volunteers for what he thinks is some more advanced training or an experimental vaccine, which turns him into Super Corpsman. His guys call him Superdoc after they discover that he can, you know, harness the power of RIGHTEOUS FURY to heal both his Marines and innocent bystanders just by laying a hand on them and ranting about the incompetence which put them in harm's way in the first place.
From
bessemerprocess:
1) [Walt Hasser] and [Konstantin Bothari] accidentally end up in the middle of political intrigue of a foreign government, what do they do about it?
Shoot their way out.
Alternately, they do whatever their CO tells them to do.
2) [Sam Carter] and [Cameron Mitchell] go to the grocery store to make a meal for [Simon Illyan]. Do they get kicked out or do they actually end up with food?
They may have to go running out of the grocery store to deal with a crisis before they can check out, but if no external problems intervene, Sam will push the cart and let Cam pick out all the ingredients for whatever it is he's planning on cooking. Sam's just there to help carry things and they both know it.
3) [Doc Bryan] and [Alys Vorpatril] attempt to build a machine of some sort. Does it work? What does it do?
Whatever it is, it definitely works. If we're talking about their real demonstrated mechanical competencies, it's an improvised but effective simple machine that solves some basic problem they're dealing with, like lobbing grenades at the enemy or keeping IVs elevated correctly. If we're getting into handwave/technobabble/Doc and Alys Are Sparks territory, then it's a device that not only heals injuries but tailors your clothes while you wait, and it is goddamned beautiful.
From missmollyetc:
[Cameron Mitchell] and [Daniel Jackson] wake up married! How/why?
...Must be Tuesday.
[Ray Person], [Sam Carter], and [Vala Mal Doran] are partners in crime, what's their best heist?
I'm guessing the space pirates temporarily split into pairs, and while Daniel and Cam were adopting Gregor, Sam and Vala somehow adopted Ray. At which point I assume they are not stopping before they steal an entire sovereign nation, possibly a planet.
[Aral Vorkosigan], [Konstantin Bothari], and [Brad Colbert] and [Alys Vorpatril] all work in an office, what are their jobs?
Aral is the CEO, Bothari is the senior security guard, Brad is the guy in IT who doesn't technically run the department but is the guy who knows what the hell is going on and gets almost everything done that needs doing, and Alys is the head of marketing.
From pommederis:
If [Konstantin Bothari], [Alys Vorpatril], and [Walt Hasser] were bonded to wolves, what would their wolves' names be? And what would the characters' scent names be?
Bothari has a brother named Blade, which is the second most common name for military-issue Barrayaran wolves (after Steel). Bothari's scent-name is blood on stone.
Alys semi-accidentally bonded with the runt of a Vor-bred litter from which her brothers/cousins were meant to bond. Alys gave her brother his correct lineage name, Silver Fire, and appended her own choice of personal name, Star. Since her brothers and cousins all have Silver Fire wolves, her brother is always called Star. Alys's scent name is silk and steel.
Walt's brother is named Eagle, but due to the overabundance of Eagles in their unit, during OIF Eagle is usually called Baby, and the name sticks even afterward. Walt's scent name is rich soil in a cornfield.
From
thefourthvine:
1. [Nate Fick] and [Alys Vorpatril] are left in charge of a small child for a day. Does the child survive? Does [Nate]? Does [Alys]? DOES THE PLANET?
Oh man. That kid is going to be FINE, and all social, political, or military forces which may threaten that child will have been destroyed in time for everyone to have an orderly and pleasant supper.
2. [Aral Vorkosigan], [Sam Carter], and [Doc Bryan] are stuck in an elevator together for four hours. Is it one long awkward pause? An elevator orgy? Something in between?
Oh, man, they wait about thirty seconds before busting themselves out and getting on with their day. No broken elevator is slowing them down. After observing Sam's lead role in the breaking-out, Aral has a serious crush, but Doc just grumbles about shoddy maintenance and gets the hell out of there.
3. [Konstantin Bothari] and [Brad Colbert] swap lives with each other - [Bothari]'s personality ends up in [Brad]'s body and life, and vice versa. Do they manage to keep it together? Do they learn any Important Life Lessons? Do they ever get back to their actual lives? Do they even want to?
[I checked with TFV and we settled on the stipulation that mental illnesses stay with the body.]
I think this turns out okay as long as Brad was in a warzone when he gets swapped. Bothari, swapped into Brad's life on a deployment, will probably do just fine. He has a uniform, he has weapons, he has officers telling him what to do and brother-Marines around him. In fact, between being suddenly not-schizophrenic and being respected and relied on, it's probably a pretty overwhelmingly positive experience. Possibly emphasis on the overwhelming, but he'll probably be okay.
Brad, meanwhile, wakes up not only in another body and on another planet, but suffering schizophrenia--but I'll bet everyone around him is used to watching to make sure he takes his meds, and his symptoms seem to have been generally well-controlled, so he's probably okay on that score. Everyone calls him Sergeant so it may take him a while to find out who he's supposed to be--until he spends a few minutes interacting with Cordelia, and then she says, "Who are you and what have you done with Sergeant Bothari?"
And then Brad explains that he wishes he knew, and Cordelia gives him the rundown on surviving Barrayar.
On the bright side, after Ray on Ripped Fuel, bodyguarding Miles is not as great a shock to the system as it would be to most people.
Still, if this were my story these two are definitely getting swapped back before too long.
4. [Daniel Jackson] and [Gregor Vorbarra] wake up with no memory of the night before, in a trashed hotel room, with a marriage certificate. In both their names. OH GOD WHAT NOW?
Well, this is probably space pirates continuity, so... eh. Gregor is sort of delighted to have married someone who is definitely not who he would have married back home. Daniel kind of feels like he's robbing the cradle, but everyone else just kind of rolls their eyes. Gregor has certainly been pulling his own weight and, hey, he's older than Sha're was.
I think those crazy kids work out. If they show signs of not working out, SG-1 Space Pirates Marriage Counseling = Threesome With Vala, so it's really a win/win.
5. [Alys Vorpatril] and [Cameron Mitchell] must go undercover! In disguise! For JUSTICE! Or crime, if they are not justice-y types. What do they go as? How does it work out? Do they solve the crime (or commit it, depending)?
So I guess when Gregor had Cam ~kidnap~ Lady Alys, above, it was not entirely for a recreational vacation. Lady Alys has some incognito diplomatic functions to carry out, with Cam as her equally incognito (once she finishes telling him precisely how to dress, speak, and stand) bodyguard and general backup. Cam (mostly) does as he's told, and of course the whole thing is carried off without a hitch (except those few minutes when Cam tried to improvise, but Lady Alys put a stop to that very promptly).
6. [Vala Mal Doran], [Ray Person], and [Teal'c] go on a retreat. Seven days of silence, meditation, cotton robes, and a light vegan diet. Do they have profound revelations? Do they develop new and exciting neuroses? Does someone die? How does it work out?
Teal'c finds the whole experience extremely refreshing. Especially after he locks Vala and Ray in a cabin together on day two.
Vala and Ray have a lot of sex--because Ray is madly in lust and Vala is bored--and then break out of the cabin on day four and proceed to wreak havoc somewhere where Teal'c isn't, and Teal'c comes and finds them to join in the fun and/or bail them out when he's finished with his retreat.
7. Simon Illyan and Walt Hasser get hit with a de-inhibitor, as in the TOS episode Naked Time. Is there crying? Sex? Violence? Sex, violence, AND crying? Telling people to fuck off? Declaring a party in the bowling alley?
There... uh... you know, I think there is some crying. Actually, see below, this probably happens and they cuddle a lot and have sex and a minimum of violence, actually. I don't think either of them is particularly violent when allowed to do what they want.
From shihadchick:
If [Sam Carter] and [Alys Vorpatril] met on a training course somewhere, what would they be doing and how would they bond over lunch?
I have to assume that they are both instructors at a ladies' combat-and-politics all day workshop, so they sit together at lunch and discuss their students (they each get a set for half the day and then swap), predicting with remarkable accuracy who will do well in the other's half of the course.
Also, if [Nate Fick] and [Gregor Vorbarra] had been high school sweethearts, what was their first date and why did things fall apart?
Aww, man, Nate and Gregor were military-school sweethearts! First date was ~studying~ in somebody's room, with snacks and Gregor's Armsmen outside the door and not very much studying getting done. Things fell apart at the end of the school year, when Gregor and Nate quietly, solemnly agreed that Gregor couldn't continue the relationship--because Nate's a boy, not because Nate's a prole--and they hugged and kissed good-bye and Gregor promised not to interfere too much in Nate's career, later on, to keep him safe, and Nate convinced Gregor to let him make a first private oath of fealty directly to Gregor, even though he's underage and the Regent is still supposed to be receiving all military oaths in Gregor's stead.
They still think of each other very fondly.
From
spatz:
[Simon Illyan] and [Walt Hasser] are in a relationship and cohabitating. What sort of relationship, and which kind of furniture do they buy?
(This is me moving the timeline slider back and forth on Simon's life, trying to find a spot where this makes any kind of sense at all.)
Okay! Okay. Simon and Walt are roommates in the facility where Simon gets the chip implanted, where he's kept for observation and adjustment, after the surgery. He doesn't know if Walt's gotten the same one; Walt might have told him, but for a little while right after the surgery everything is spotty and confused. (And, see above, pretty disinhibiting for a while, until all the drugs and side-effects wear off.) He's not entirely sure when or why they started sleeping together, either, but they share one bunk and ignore the other, and kiss frantically when either one is returned from an appointment outside the little room which is the only place they understand or trust for sure.
One night a team turns up to take Walt away--not doctors, Simon recognizes them right away as soldiers, even the one who talks nonstop in a whisper. It takes a few minutes for them to peel Walt and Simon apart, and when they have they offer to rescue Simon, too. But Simon remembers his duty, and declines the offer, and Walt gives him one last kiss before the others hustle him away.
Even decades later, Simon sometimes replays that moment and wonders what would have happened if he'd taken them up on their offer.
[Nate Fick] and [Vala Mal Doran] are attacked by a swan. How do they react?
Swan kebabs.
From
philomytha:
Everyone on the list is in a cosy country house mystery! Whodunnit, who's the body, who's detecting, who's the sidekick, who's the obvious but innocent suspect and who are the red herrings?
Ahaahahaha oh god. Okay. Uh. So they're all confined to a house together, which leads more or less inevitably to Lady Alys snapping and killing Ray Person, in a mostly undetectable but still inevitably suspicious sort of way. Naturally the crisis causes the teams--Aral, Simon, Bothari, Alys, and Gregor; Nate, Brad, Walt, and Doc; Sam, Cam, Teal'c, Daniel, and Vala--to all conclude that they and only they are qualified to investigate the matter.
Aral and Simon take the lead with advice from Alys in the Barrayaran investigation, which tends to focus, with Alys's advice, on motives among Ray's own teammates, with a secondary option on Vala.
Nate and Brad lead the Bravo Two investigation, which considers both Bothari and Vala both prime suspects.
Vala and Teal'c lead the SG-1 investigation, which identifies Lady Alys pretty promptly as the culprit. The Barrayarans insist they can't countenance the possibility (while all privately accepting it and concluding that she was provoked and acted correctly) and Bravo Two accepts the verdict when SG-1's officers pull rank on them.
Of course, Gregor and the rest get Alys out of the house and away from the others before they can exact any kind of revenge.
This entry was originally posted at http://dira.dreamwidth.org/614409.html. There are currently
comments there.
So I made a new list, had random.org generate a random order for me, and went again. With much less horrifying results, although there was still one totally unanswerable question.
Here's my (second) list of fifteen characters:
1. Aral Vorkosigan
2. Nate Fick ( GK overview with character summaries | Picture of Nate)
3. Sam Carter
4. Konstantin Bothari
5. Tim "Doc" Bryan ( GK overview with character summaries | Picture of Doc)
6. Daniel Jackson
7. Alys Vorpatril
8. Vala Mal Doran
9. Cameron Mitchell
10. Ray Person ( GK overview with character summaries | Picture of Ray)
11. Teal'c
12. Gregor Vorbarra
13. Simon Illyan
14. Brad Colbert ( GK overview with character summaries | Picture of Brad)
15. Walt Hasser ( GK overview with character summaries | Picture of Walt)
And here are the questions!
From tricksterquinn:
[Daniel Jackson] and [Gregor Vorbarra] embark on a life of crime together. What is it and how does [Cameron Mitchell] react?
Presumably this is a universe where Gregor succeeded in running away at age 25, and joined up with a Daniel Jackson who is a space pirate. Cam, who is logically already space pirating with Daniel, rolls his eyes a bit over Daniel bringing home strays, but Gregor turns out to be pleasantly military and well-trained and competent, and is occasionally even good at taking orders. So Cam ultimately doesn't mind the new guy--especially because Gregor is newer than him and makes him slightly less The New Guy himself!
From keerawa:
[Sam Carter] and [Teal'c] once had a thing, but it ended badly. What happened?
Well, as I understand it, they escaped that eddy in the space-time continuum and now only Teal'c remembers anything about it. :(
From
ellen_fremedon:
1.) [Sam Carter] outs [Gregor Vorbarra]'s secret identity to [Vala Mal Doran]. Is is an accident, or deliberate?
...So, apparently Sam and Vala are also in the space pirate crew, as they should be, and Sam found out Gregor's true identity and told Vala. Which I presume happened when Sam told Daniel to try to figure out what they should do about the situation, and Vala was eavesdropping. So accidentally, although she might have intended to tell Vala a couple of more steps down the line in making plans.
2.) What happens when [Brad Colbert] and [Cameron Mitchell] wake up married in Vegas?
...OH GOD, I WANT TO WATCH.
Ahem. Well. Cam sort of heaves a sigh, resigns himself to having lost his pants again, and waits for his team to turn up and demand his return. But hopefully Cam was drunk enough the night before to spill stuff about the Stargate to Brad, and the easiest way to solve the security breach is to give Brad a (marriage-supporting!) transfer to Cheyenne Mountain, because, come on. Brad's warrior spirit deserves off-planet recons forever and ever.
Also, <3_______________<3 Cam and Brad!
3.) [Aral Vorkosigan], [Daniel Jackson], and [Ray Person] are the final three contestants on some televised competition. (Top Chef, Project Runway, any of the singing and/or dancing shows, etc.) [Nate Fick], [Alys Vorpatril], and [Teal'c] are the judges. [Walt Hasser] is the host. What is the show, and how does the final round play out?
I, uh. Wow. Uh.
+++Divide By Cucumber Error. Please Reinstall Universe And Reboot +++
From browngirl:
1) Because I recced "Brothelers" the other day -- [Daniel Jackson], [Simon Illyan] and [Walt Hasser] work at that brothel. What are their jobs?
In order of obviousness: Simon Illyan is, of course, Head of Security.
Walt is a guard who makes a lot of tips by looking like talent--but make no mistake, Walt will take you out if he has to.
Daniel is an all-purpose tutor for talent--he started out doing language training, but he also does conversational prep on all sorts of arcane topics. (Vala is his favorite/least-favorite student, of course.)
2) [Konstantin Bothari] gets de-aged to a baby; [Teal'c] has to care for them. Wat befalls?
...Oh my God. That's. I really want that to happen now. As long as Bothari never gets re-aged, and he just gets to grow up with Teal'c and Teal'c's assortment of partners/spouses/teammates. Naturally Teal'c would need his Tau'ri friends to help him raising a Tau'ri baby, but baby Konstantin would grow up mentally healthy and safe and loved, and his dad would train him up to be a great warrior. And if/when he showed signs of developing schizophrenia, his assorted parents would get him all the very best help available.
;________;
3) [Aral Vorkosigan] cooks dinner for [Ray Person] and [Nate Fick].
This happened when Aral was about twelve, during Yuri's War. Aral had slipped away from his father and the other generals and found himself helping cook a camp dinner for one of the scout units of hard men who'd just come in from the cold. It was stew and bread. Ray never stopped joking and complaining and ranting, but Nate gave Aral a quiet smile and said thank you, and Aral developed a formative crush from which he never entirely recovered.
4) [Gregor Vorbarra] kidnaps [Alys Vorpatril]. Why? How is [Cameron Mitchell] involved?
Well, Alys, complaining of it, calls it kidnapping, but when one's Emperor Requests and Requires one to take a vacation after a busy year of politicking, it's not particularly a crime. Cam is, I assume, the pretty young reliable officer drafted to escort Lady Vorpatril to her vacation destination, and he is impeccably polite about it and Alys thinks he's a Nice Young Man, and the whole thing is very cordial.
5) [Vala Mal Doran] and [Brad Colbert] fall through a dimensional portal into [Sam Carter]'s purview.
...If Brad is the one loyal Jaffa who stuck with post-Goa'uld Vala, and accompanied her through the Stargate through the SGC, then that's basically canon. With Brad as a loyal Jaffa, which, yes. That works.
6) [Doc Bryan], [Daniel Jackson], and [Teal'c] become superheroes. What are their names/powers/origin stories/etc?
I'm not at all sure that Daniel and Teal'c aren't already superheroes. I guess they could always become more so by ... Ascending or leveling up or something?
Doc Bryan, uh, volunteers for what he thinks is some more advanced training or an experimental vaccine, which turns him into Super Corpsman. His guys call him Superdoc after they discover that he can, you know, harness the power of RIGHTEOUS FURY to heal both his Marines and innocent bystanders just by laying a hand on them and ranting about the incompetence which put them in harm's way in the first place.
From
bessemerprocess:
1) [Walt Hasser] and [Konstantin Bothari] accidentally end up in the middle of political intrigue of a foreign government, what do they do about it?
Shoot their way out.
Alternately, they do whatever their CO tells them to do.
2) [Sam Carter] and [Cameron Mitchell] go to the grocery store to make a meal for [Simon Illyan]. Do they get kicked out or do they actually end up with food?
They may have to go running out of the grocery store to deal with a crisis before they can check out, but if no external problems intervene, Sam will push the cart and let Cam pick out all the ingredients for whatever it is he's planning on cooking. Sam's just there to help carry things and they both know it.
3) [Doc Bryan] and [Alys Vorpatril] attempt to build a machine of some sort. Does it work? What does it do?
Whatever it is, it definitely works. If we're talking about their real demonstrated mechanical competencies, it's an improvised but effective simple machine that solves some basic problem they're dealing with, like lobbing grenades at the enemy or keeping IVs elevated correctly. If we're getting into handwave/technobabble/Doc and Alys Are Sparks territory, then it's a device that not only heals injuries but tailors your clothes while you wait, and it is goddamned beautiful.
From missmollyetc:
[Cameron Mitchell] and [Daniel Jackson] wake up married! How/why?
...Must be Tuesday.
[Ray Person], [Sam Carter], and [Vala Mal Doran] are partners in crime, what's their best heist?
I'm guessing the space pirates temporarily split into pairs, and while Daniel and Cam were adopting Gregor, Sam and Vala somehow adopted Ray. At which point I assume they are not stopping before they steal an entire sovereign nation, possibly a planet.
[Aral Vorkosigan], [Konstantin Bothari], and [Brad Colbert] and [Alys Vorpatril] all work in an office, what are their jobs?
Aral is the CEO, Bothari is the senior security guard, Brad is the guy in IT who doesn't technically run the department but is the guy who knows what the hell is going on and gets almost everything done that needs doing, and Alys is the head of marketing.
From pommederis:
If [Konstantin Bothari], [Alys Vorpatril], and [Walt Hasser] were bonded to wolves, what would their wolves' names be? And what would the characters' scent names be?
Bothari has a brother named Blade, which is the second most common name for military-issue Barrayaran wolves (after Steel). Bothari's scent-name is blood on stone.
Alys semi-accidentally bonded with the runt of a Vor-bred litter from which her brothers/cousins were meant to bond. Alys gave her brother his correct lineage name, Silver Fire, and appended her own choice of personal name, Star. Since her brothers and cousins all have Silver Fire wolves, her brother is always called Star. Alys's scent name is silk and steel.
Walt's brother is named Eagle, but due to the overabundance of Eagles in their unit, during OIF Eagle is usually called Baby, and the name sticks even afterward. Walt's scent name is rich soil in a cornfield.
From
thefourthvine:
1. [Nate Fick] and [Alys Vorpatril] are left in charge of a small child for a day. Does the child survive? Does [Nate]? Does [Alys]? DOES THE PLANET?
Oh man. That kid is going to be FINE, and all social, political, or military forces which may threaten that child will have been destroyed in time for everyone to have an orderly and pleasant supper.
2. [Aral Vorkosigan], [Sam Carter], and [Doc Bryan] are stuck in an elevator together for four hours. Is it one long awkward pause? An elevator orgy? Something in between?
Oh, man, they wait about thirty seconds before busting themselves out and getting on with their day. No broken elevator is slowing them down. After observing Sam's lead role in the breaking-out, Aral has a serious crush, but Doc just grumbles about shoddy maintenance and gets the hell out of there.
3. [Konstantin Bothari] and [Brad Colbert] swap lives with each other - [Bothari]'s personality ends up in [Brad]'s body and life, and vice versa. Do they manage to keep it together? Do they learn any Important Life Lessons? Do they ever get back to their actual lives? Do they even want to?
[I checked with TFV and we settled on the stipulation that mental illnesses stay with the body.]
I think this turns out okay as long as Brad was in a warzone when he gets swapped. Bothari, swapped into Brad's life on a deployment, will probably do just fine. He has a uniform, he has weapons, he has officers telling him what to do and brother-Marines around him. In fact, between being suddenly not-schizophrenic and being respected and relied on, it's probably a pretty overwhelmingly positive experience. Possibly emphasis on the overwhelming, but he'll probably be okay.
Brad, meanwhile, wakes up not only in another body and on another planet, but suffering schizophrenia--but I'll bet everyone around him is used to watching to make sure he takes his meds, and his symptoms seem to have been generally well-controlled, so he's probably okay on that score. Everyone calls him Sergeant so it may take him a while to find out who he's supposed to be--until he spends a few minutes interacting with Cordelia, and then she says, "Who are you and what have you done with Sergeant Bothari?"
And then Brad explains that he wishes he knew, and Cordelia gives him the rundown on surviving Barrayar.
On the bright side, after Ray on Ripped Fuel, bodyguarding Miles is not as great a shock to the system as it would be to most people.
Still, if this were my story these two are definitely getting swapped back before too long.
4. [Daniel Jackson] and [Gregor Vorbarra] wake up with no memory of the night before, in a trashed hotel room, with a marriage certificate. In both their names. OH GOD WHAT NOW?
Well, this is probably space pirates continuity, so... eh. Gregor is sort of delighted to have married someone who is definitely not who he would have married back home. Daniel kind of feels like he's robbing the cradle, but everyone else just kind of rolls their eyes. Gregor has certainly been pulling his own weight and, hey, he's older than Sha're was.
I think those crazy kids work out. If they show signs of not working out, SG-1 Space Pirates Marriage Counseling = Threesome With Vala, so it's really a win/win.
5. [Alys Vorpatril] and [Cameron Mitchell] must go undercover! In disguise! For JUSTICE! Or crime, if they are not justice-y types. What do they go as? How does it work out? Do they solve the crime (or commit it, depending)?
So I guess when Gregor had Cam ~kidnap~ Lady Alys, above, it was not entirely for a recreational vacation. Lady Alys has some incognito diplomatic functions to carry out, with Cam as her equally incognito (once she finishes telling him precisely how to dress, speak, and stand) bodyguard and general backup. Cam (mostly) does as he's told, and of course the whole thing is carried off without a hitch (except those few minutes when Cam tried to improvise, but Lady Alys put a stop to that very promptly).
6. [Vala Mal Doran], [Ray Person], and [Teal'c] go on a retreat. Seven days of silence, meditation, cotton robes, and a light vegan diet. Do they have profound revelations? Do they develop new and exciting neuroses? Does someone die? How does it work out?
Teal'c finds the whole experience extremely refreshing. Especially after he locks Vala and Ray in a cabin together on day two.
Vala and Ray have a lot of sex--because Ray is madly in lust and Vala is bored--and then break out of the cabin on day four and proceed to wreak havoc somewhere where Teal'c isn't, and Teal'c comes and finds them to join in the fun and/or bail them out when he's finished with his retreat.
7. Simon Illyan and Walt Hasser get hit with a de-inhibitor, as in the TOS episode Naked Time. Is there crying? Sex? Violence? Sex, violence, AND crying? Telling people to fuck off? Declaring a party in the bowling alley?
There... uh... you know, I think there is some crying. Actually, see below, this probably happens and they cuddle a lot and have sex and a minimum of violence, actually. I don't think either of them is particularly violent when allowed to do what they want.
From shihadchick:
If [Sam Carter] and [Alys Vorpatril] met on a training course somewhere, what would they be doing and how would they bond over lunch?
I have to assume that they are both instructors at a ladies' combat-and-politics all day workshop, so they sit together at lunch and discuss their students (they each get a set for half the day and then swap), predicting with remarkable accuracy who will do well in the other's half of the course.
Also, if [Nate Fick] and [Gregor Vorbarra] had been high school sweethearts, what was their first date and why did things fall apart?
Aww, man, Nate and Gregor were military-school sweethearts! First date was ~studying~ in somebody's room, with snacks and Gregor's Armsmen outside the door and not very much studying getting done. Things fell apart at the end of the school year, when Gregor and Nate quietly, solemnly agreed that Gregor couldn't continue the relationship--because Nate's a boy, not because Nate's a prole--and they hugged and kissed good-bye and Gregor promised not to interfere too much in Nate's career, later on, to keep him safe, and Nate convinced Gregor to let him make a first private oath of fealty directly to Gregor, even though he's underage and the Regent is still supposed to be receiving all military oaths in Gregor's stead.
They still think of each other very fondly.
From
spatz:
[Simon Illyan] and [Walt Hasser] are in a relationship and cohabitating. What sort of relationship, and which kind of furniture do they buy?
(This is me moving the timeline slider back and forth on Simon's life, trying to find a spot where this makes any kind of sense at all.)
Okay! Okay. Simon and Walt are roommates in the facility where Simon gets the chip implanted, where he's kept for observation and adjustment, after the surgery. He doesn't know if Walt's gotten the same one; Walt might have told him, but for a little while right after the surgery everything is spotty and confused. (And, see above, pretty disinhibiting for a while, until all the drugs and side-effects wear off.) He's not entirely sure when or why they started sleeping together, either, but they share one bunk and ignore the other, and kiss frantically when either one is returned from an appointment outside the little room which is the only place they understand or trust for sure.
One night a team turns up to take Walt away--not doctors, Simon recognizes them right away as soldiers, even the one who talks nonstop in a whisper. It takes a few minutes for them to peel Walt and Simon apart, and when they have they offer to rescue Simon, too. But Simon remembers his duty, and declines the offer, and Walt gives him one last kiss before the others hustle him away.
Even decades later, Simon sometimes replays that moment and wonders what would have happened if he'd taken them up on their offer.
[Nate Fick] and [Vala Mal Doran] are attacked by a swan. How do they react?
Swan kebabs.
From
philomytha:
Everyone on the list is in a cosy country house mystery! Whodunnit, who's the body, who's detecting, who's the sidekick, who's the obvious but innocent suspect and who are the red herrings?
Ahaahahaha oh god. Okay. Uh. So they're all confined to a house together, which leads more or less inevitably to Lady Alys snapping and killing Ray Person, in a mostly undetectable but still inevitably suspicious sort of way. Naturally the crisis causes the teams--Aral, Simon, Bothari, Alys, and Gregor; Nate, Brad, Walt, and Doc; Sam, Cam, Teal'c, Daniel, and Vala--to all conclude that they and only they are qualified to investigate the matter.
Aral and Simon take the lead with advice from Alys in the Barrayaran investigation, which tends to focus, with Alys's advice, on motives among Ray's own teammates, with a secondary option on Vala.
Nate and Brad lead the Bravo Two investigation, which considers both Bothari and Vala both prime suspects.
Vala and Teal'c lead the SG-1 investigation, which identifies Lady Alys pretty promptly as the culprit. The Barrayarans insist they can't countenance the possibility (while all privately accepting it and concluding that she was provoked and acted correctly) and Bravo Two accepts the verdict when SG-1's officers pull rank on them.
Of course, Gregor and the rest get Alys out of the house and away from the others before they can exact any kind of revenge.
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