Meme answers at long last.
Approximately a year ago in internet time I posted a meme. And now I post the answers!
My list of ten characters:
1. Cordelia Naismith Vorkosigan
2. Kate Beckett
3. Jack O'Neill
4. Sam Carter
5. Leonard McCoy
6. Rick Castle
7. Vala Mal Doran
8. Patrick Jane
9. Teresa Lisbon
10. Jim Kirk
And the questions:
From meritjubet: 7 and 5 are in a cell together. How did they get there?
Vala Mal Doran and Leonard McCoy are in a cell together. Let's all just savor that mental image for a moment.
Clearly, the situation is Vala's fault; she was running some insane scheme to make herself a fortune and/or save the galaxy, and McCoy was the innocent mark she dragged into her con who got dragged down with her when it went south.
They spend much of their brief imprisonment hating each other and arguing about whose team will beam them out first. (Further confusion erupts when they are beamed to safety aboard the wrong ships. And by 'further confusion erupts' I mean 'Vala Mal Doran + Jim Kirk = OH HELL YES.')
From audrarose: 9 and 2 are fighting over a cab and finally agree to share. What do they talk about?
Teresa Lisbon and Kate Beckett are fighting over a cab and finally agree to share. They talk about weather and cabs and New York, and then about the law enforcement conference which has brought Lisbon to the city in the first place. They talk shop. And then, inevitably, they get into a mostly-friendly argument about who, exactly, has a more totally enraging civilian consultant foisted upon her. Beckett is eventually forced to concede that at least Castle hasn't killed anyone or caused any lawsuits.
"Yet," she says darkly, and Lisbon gives her her card, to call for sympathy when the inevitable happens.
From
ellen_fremedon: 9 is interviewing 2, 4, and 6 for a job. What's the job, and who does 9 hire?
Teresa Lisbon is interviewing Kate Beckett, Sam Carter, and Rick Castle for a job. The job is to fill a spot on her team abruptly opened up by the romantic idiocy of a couple of her subordinates. Lisbon does a phone interview with Beckett, and though Beckett talks longingly about relocating far, far away from New York, they both know she never will; still, it's nice to talk again--they haven't had much time for uninterrupted conversation since they stepped out of that cab, between time zones and their jobs.
Next, Lisbon interviews an ex-Air Force officer named Sam Carter, who is scarily smart, scarily competent, and smiles just a little too much through the whole interview.
Lastly, Lisbon has a somewhat bewildering phone call--phone interview?--with Richard Castle, who seems to believe that if Lisbon hires Beckett (as if Lisbon were going to hire Beckett), then the CBI would magically also need an extra civilian consultant. It's entertaining for the first twenty minutes, and then it becomes an uncomfortable mixture of sad, frustrating, and boring. Finally Lisbon says, "As if she would actually leave you, you idiot!" and hangs up.
She winds up hiring Carter, despite the generally weird vibe and the way she never talks about exactly what she did in the Air Force or exactly why she left. Jane says she's lying about nearly everything she says but seems to like her a lot anyway, so Lisbon goes with it. They crack a couple of cases, the second one demonstrating that Carter is, in her areas of interest, smarter than Jane, which is fun to watch.
And then they run smack into that case that they are not allowed to talk about; Lisbon's not even sure she's allowed to think about it. And then Carter's gone, and Rigsby and Van Pelt have finally summoned the good sense to break up or fake it properly, and Lisbon's got her team back together anyway.
From
jamjar: 4 and 8 are secretly related! How do they find this out? What happens after?
Sam Carter and Patrick Jane are secretly related! Jane, spotting certain likenesses, starts to suspect while Sam is temporarily on the team (along with the many, many other things he suspects). He manages to unobtrusively obtain a DNA sample and convinces Cho to send it to the crime lab to be run against his own. When it comes back a weak match, indicating that they are something like first cousins, Jane goes to Sam with the evidence, and she puts together what she knows of her family tree with the very little he knows, to work out that his mother was Sam's mother's sister, the one who ran off young and was never heard from until they heard that she'd died.
"I'm so sorry," Sam says, hugging him. "All these years. I didn't even know she had a son--I didn't know I had a cousin."
Jane pats Sam's back awkwardly and doesn't know quite what to do--it seemed like an interesting puzzle to solve, right up until it landed him with a cousin--two cousins, in fact, one married with children. He mentions to Sam that he's a dangerous person to be related to, and she tells him not to worry. She's pretty dangerous herself.
From pocketmouse: 6 is kidnapped by 9 and 4 is hired to rescue hir. Does zie succeed? How is 2 involved?
Oh my God, this shit has developed a narrative thread. Ahem.
Rick Castle is kidnapped by Teresa Lisbon and Sam Carter is hired to rescue him. Lisbon rejects the term kidnapping and even abduction. She has simply taken Mr. Castle into temporary, unofficial custody while he's in her fair state, to have a little talk with him about exactly how crazy he is making Detective Beckett. Lisbon dispenses some tips on how to NOT DO THAT or alternatively how to man up and do it right. Jane also dispenses some tips. Castle is really kind of terrified by the end of the first hour.
Sam is 'hired' to rescue him when Lisbon's little conversation with Castle starts threatening to encroach on Jane's planned lunch with Sam; Jane texts her that he will buy her lunch if she will make Lisbon stop doing what she's doing. Sam considers beaming Castle out, but she's heard enough about him from Jane to know that he would never, ever shut up about it, so she goes for a frontal assault of charm and has him out of Lisbon's clutches inside of five minutes. She makes Jane buy her dessert, too.
1 gets temporary amnesia and has to be cared for by 5.
Cordelia Naismith Vorkosigan gets temporary amnesia and has to be cared by Leonard McCoy.
...Holy shit I don't think I have anything further to say except <3_____<3 and I WANT THAT STORY NOW.
Postapocalyptica with 8, 3, 7, and 10.
Post-apoc with Patrick Jane, Jack O'Neill, Vala Mal Doran, and Jim Kirk.
All I can say is this: THEY WIN. EVERYTHING. That apocalypse isn't going to know what hit it, man. They are prom king, king, queen, and king of the remaining universe, and I give them a year, at most, before what's left of humanity has been shaped back into a functioning civilization, now better armed and better defended than ever before.
From reginagiraffe: 2, 7 and 10 go on a road trip. Where do they go? Who drives? Who gets control of the radio? Do they end up having sex in a motel room?
Kate Beckett, Vala Mal Doran, and Jim Kirk go on a road trip.
Kate drives. And controls the radio. And really, really wants the other two to shut the hell up.
Vala and Jim bide their time, though. It doesn't take more than a wink and a raised eyebrow for them to know they're thinking on the same track. And after that night at the motel room, Kate is feeling a lot more relaxed about the whole thing.
From trcunning: It's time for 2's high school reunion, what happens when s/he finds 9 there as someone's guest?
Seriously THE CONTINUING ADVENTURES, here.
Kate Beckett is going to her high school reunion--against her better judgment--and then finds Teresa Lisbon there as someone's guest! Kate immediately borrows Teresa so they can have a LONG TALK about that little stunt Teresa pulled when Castle was in California; they argue about it for a while but by the end of the night they're sitting at the bar together, giggling, and Teresa's date or whatever is long gone. They wind up calling Castle to drive them both back to Kate's place, and burst out laughing uproariously when he gets all pale and wide-eyed at the sight of Teresa.
3, 5 and 7. Marry, fuck, kill?
I'm going to assume that the actual decision about actually having to kill someone is TOTALLY OUT OF MY HANDS, OKAY, BECAUSE I DON'T WANT ANYBODY'S TEAM COMING AFTER ME FOR REVENGE, and then I, you know, kill Jack, because he has a track record of recovering from this sort of thing. In fact, McCoy probably saves him, voila.
And then, uh, I say this as the very straightest of straight girls? Fuck Vala because it would still probably be awesome. And marry McCoy, obvs. I promise to be extremely understanding about how he is space-married to Jim.
From inmyriadbits: 9 and 2 are held hostage in a bank that is being robbed. What happens?
THE STUNNING CONCLUSION!
Teresa Lisbon and Kate Beckett are held hostage in a bank that is being robbed. Well, they roll their eyes a lot, stall a little, and then they put an end to those shenanigans, and I mean right quick. They have much better things to do with their day than hang out at the bank. At gunpoint.
From elbomac: 3 & 6 meet for the first time the night before their arranged marriage is set to take place. What happens next?
Jack O'Neill and Rick Castle meet for the first time the night before their arranged marriage is set to take place. I am guessing that aliens are making them do it. I am also guessing that they agree right off the bat that there is no way any such wedding is taking place, and then, obviously, they come up with a clever and/or explosive way to get out of it. A good time is had by all.
...Wait, I just totally failed to slash them.
No, no, I'm sorry. It would take a braver woman than I. No wedding. Not even any UST. Just blowing shit up and getting the hell out of Dodge.
From missmollyetc: 5, 7, and 1 fight crime together! What wacky hijinks ensue?
Leonard McCoy, Vala Mal Doran, and Cordelia Naismith Vorkosigan fight crime together. Cordelia, naturally, quickly becomes the boss of this operation, exerting nigh-supernatural powers of personnel management to get Vala and McCoy to work together efficiently, each to their own strengths.
I expect that Cordelia is the only one not surprised when Leo and Vala hook up between one crime-fighting caper and the next. She saw that coming a long way off.
And the criminals, naturally, never know what hit them. Most of the time, after a long chat with Tante Cordelia, they are begging for prison or therapy or an opportunity to join the team. She does take a few of them on, from time to time. After all, it worked with Mark....
From rubynye: #8 gets sick. How does #2 take care of them? #5?
Patrick Jane gets sick. How do Kate Beckett and Leonard McCoy respectively take care of him?
Beckett mostly lets him get away with pretending he's fine--although naturally she calls Lisbon and tells her otherwise--but she casually supplies him with chicken soup and cough drops.
McCoy, of course, grumbles a lot about primitive viruses and basic preventative care and then jabs him with a hypospray. Problem goddamn solved.
#4 gets deaged into a screaming toddler. How does #1 deal? How does #9? How does #3 fix it?
Sam Carter gets deaged into a screaming toddler. How does Cordelia deal? How does Lisbon? How does Jack O'Neill fix it?
Cordelia copes, depending on just when this is for her, with a combination of a) Cordelia's natural aplomb and delight with little live things, and b) servants! But mostly Cordelia looks after Sam herself. Even if she's more mobile, Sam cannot possibly be more difficult than toddler Miles.
Lisbon just deals. She's been raising screaming little ones since she was twelve years old and inherited all her younger brothers; it's exponentially easier when the adults around you all automatically try to help, instead of being a chaotic force that you need to protect against. (She takes a couple of pictures of Jane cuddling tiny, miserable Sam, and then it occurs to her, given how alike their coloring is, that that's probably a pretty fair approximation of what Jane looked like holding his own daughter. She never shows those pictures to anyone. No one really notices--the pictures of Rigsby and Cho making ridiculous faces to try to cheer Sam up distract everyone.)
And then, of course, Jack turns up having tracked down either the appropriate alien device or some Asgard help, and Sam is put right again.
#7 makes dinner for #6 and #10. What is cooked? What is eaten?
Vala Mal Doran makes dinner for Rick Castle and Jim Kirk.
Excuse me while I giggle hysterically to myself about SGC dinner codes and peach pie.
Ahem! Ahem. Well, Vala probably cooks something down-home and all-American, maybe something Cam's mother cooked for them when they visited. If that goes horribly wrong, Vala cooks something that was very recently mostly cooked by someone else.
In any case, no one pays much attention to dinner because there is altogether too much flirting going on at that table and dessert...
There is plenty of dessert to go around. They eat a lot of it.
This entry was originally posted at http://dira.dreamwidth.org/526514.html. There are currently
comments there.
My list of ten characters:
1. Cordelia Naismith Vorkosigan
2. Kate Beckett
3. Jack O'Neill
4. Sam Carter
5. Leonard McCoy
6. Rick Castle
7. Vala Mal Doran
8. Patrick Jane
9. Teresa Lisbon
10. Jim Kirk
And the questions:
From meritjubet: 7 and 5 are in a cell together. How did they get there?
Vala Mal Doran and Leonard McCoy are in a cell together. Let's all just savor that mental image for a moment.
Clearly, the situation is Vala's fault; she was running some insane scheme to make herself a fortune and/or save the galaxy, and McCoy was the innocent mark she dragged into her con who got dragged down with her when it went south.
They spend much of their brief imprisonment hating each other and arguing about whose team will beam them out first. (Further confusion erupts when they are beamed to safety aboard the wrong ships. And by 'further confusion erupts' I mean 'Vala Mal Doran + Jim Kirk = OH HELL YES.')
From audrarose: 9 and 2 are fighting over a cab and finally agree to share. What do they talk about?
Teresa Lisbon and Kate Beckett are fighting over a cab and finally agree to share. They talk about weather and cabs and New York, and then about the law enforcement conference which has brought Lisbon to the city in the first place. They talk shop. And then, inevitably, they get into a mostly-friendly argument about who, exactly, has a more totally enraging civilian consultant foisted upon her. Beckett is eventually forced to concede that at least Castle hasn't killed anyone or caused any lawsuits.
"Yet," she says darkly, and Lisbon gives her her card, to call for sympathy when the inevitable happens.
From
ellen_fremedon: 9 is interviewing 2, 4, and 6 for a job. What's the job, and who does 9 hire?
Teresa Lisbon is interviewing Kate Beckett, Sam Carter, and Rick Castle for a job. The job is to fill a spot on her team abruptly opened up by the romantic idiocy of a couple of her subordinates. Lisbon does a phone interview with Beckett, and though Beckett talks longingly about relocating far, far away from New York, they both know she never will; still, it's nice to talk again--they haven't had much time for uninterrupted conversation since they stepped out of that cab, between time zones and their jobs.
Next, Lisbon interviews an ex-Air Force officer named Sam Carter, who is scarily smart, scarily competent, and smiles just a little too much through the whole interview.
Lastly, Lisbon has a somewhat bewildering phone call--phone interview?--with Richard Castle, who seems to believe that if Lisbon hires Beckett (as if Lisbon were going to hire Beckett), then the CBI would magically also need an extra civilian consultant. It's entertaining for the first twenty minutes, and then it becomes an uncomfortable mixture of sad, frustrating, and boring. Finally Lisbon says, "As if she would actually leave you, you idiot!" and hangs up.
She winds up hiring Carter, despite the generally weird vibe and the way she never talks about exactly what she did in the Air Force or exactly why she left. Jane says she's lying about nearly everything she says but seems to like her a lot anyway, so Lisbon goes with it. They crack a couple of cases, the second one demonstrating that Carter is, in her areas of interest, smarter than Jane, which is fun to watch.
And then they run smack into that case that they are not allowed to talk about; Lisbon's not even sure she's allowed to think about it. And then Carter's gone, and Rigsby and Van Pelt have finally summoned the good sense to break up or fake it properly, and Lisbon's got her team back together anyway.
From
jamjar: 4 and 8 are secretly related! How do they find this out? What happens after?
Sam Carter and Patrick Jane are secretly related! Jane, spotting certain likenesses, starts to suspect while Sam is temporarily on the team (along with the many, many other things he suspects). He manages to unobtrusively obtain a DNA sample and convinces Cho to send it to the crime lab to be run against his own. When it comes back a weak match, indicating that they are something like first cousins, Jane goes to Sam with the evidence, and she puts together what she knows of her family tree with the very little he knows, to work out that his mother was Sam's mother's sister, the one who ran off young and was never heard from until they heard that she'd died.
"I'm so sorry," Sam says, hugging him. "All these years. I didn't even know she had a son--I didn't know I had a cousin."
Jane pats Sam's back awkwardly and doesn't know quite what to do--it seemed like an interesting puzzle to solve, right up until it landed him with a cousin--two cousins, in fact, one married with children. He mentions to Sam that he's a dangerous person to be related to, and she tells him not to worry. She's pretty dangerous herself.
From pocketmouse: 6 is kidnapped by 9 and 4 is hired to rescue hir. Does zie succeed? How is 2 involved?
Oh my God, this shit has developed a narrative thread. Ahem.
Rick Castle is kidnapped by Teresa Lisbon and Sam Carter is hired to rescue him. Lisbon rejects the term kidnapping and even abduction. She has simply taken Mr. Castle into temporary, unofficial custody while he's in her fair state, to have a little talk with him about exactly how crazy he is making Detective Beckett. Lisbon dispenses some tips on how to NOT DO THAT or alternatively how to man up and do it right. Jane also dispenses some tips. Castle is really kind of terrified by the end of the first hour.
Sam is 'hired' to rescue him when Lisbon's little conversation with Castle starts threatening to encroach on Jane's planned lunch with Sam; Jane texts her that he will buy her lunch if she will make Lisbon stop doing what she's doing. Sam considers beaming Castle out, but she's heard enough about him from Jane to know that he would never, ever shut up about it, so she goes for a frontal assault of charm and has him out of Lisbon's clutches inside of five minutes. She makes Jane buy her dessert, too.
1 gets temporary amnesia and has to be cared for by 5.
Cordelia Naismith Vorkosigan gets temporary amnesia and has to be cared by Leonard McCoy.
...Holy shit I don't think I have anything further to say except <3_____<3 and I WANT THAT STORY NOW.
Postapocalyptica with 8, 3, 7, and 10.
Post-apoc with Patrick Jane, Jack O'Neill, Vala Mal Doran, and Jim Kirk.
All I can say is this: THEY WIN. EVERYTHING. That apocalypse isn't going to know what hit it, man. They are prom king, king, queen, and king of the remaining universe, and I give them a year, at most, before what's left of humanity has been shaped back into a functioning civilization, now better armed and better defended than ever before.
From reginagiraffe: 2, 7 and 10 go on a road trip. Where do they go? Who drives? Who gets control of the radio? Do they end up having sex in a motel room?
Kate Beckett, Vala Mal Doran, and Jim Kirk go on a road trip.
Kate drives. And controls the radio. And really, really wants the other two to shut the hell up.
Vala and Jim bide their time, though. It doesn't take more than a wink and a raised eyebrow for them to know they're thinking on the same track. And after that night at the motel room, Kate is feeling a lot more relaxed about the whole thing.
From trcunning: It's time for 2's high school reunion, what happens when s/he finds 9 there as someone's guest?
Seriously THE CONTINUING ADVENTURES, here.
Kate Beckett is going to her high school reunion--against her better judgment--and then finds Teresa Lisbon there as someone's guest! Kate immediately borrows Teresa so they can have a LONG TALK about that little stunt Teresa pulled when Castle was in California; they argue about it for a while but by the end of the night they're sitting at the bar together, giggling, and Teresa's date or whatever is long gone. They wind up calling Castle to drive them both back to Kate's place, and burst out laughing uproariously when he gets all pale and wide-eyed at the sight of Teresa.
3, 5 and 7. Marry, fuck, kill?
I'm going to assume that the actual decision about actually having to kill someone is TOTALLY OUT OF MY HANDS, OKAY, BECAUSE I DON'T WANT ANYBODY'S TEAM COMING AFTER ME FOR REVENGE, and then I, you know, kill Jack, because he has a track record of recovering from this sort of thing. In fact, McCoy probably saves him, voila.
And then, uh, I say this as the very straightest of straight girls? Fuck Vala because it would still probably be awesome. And marry McCoy, obvs. I promise to be extremely understanding about how he is space-married to Jim.
From inmyriadbits: 9 and 2 are held hostage in a bank that is being robbed. What happens?
THE STUNNING CONCLUSION!
Teresa Lisbon and Kate Beckett are held hostage in a bank that is being robbed. Well, they roll their eyes a lot, stall a little, and then they put an end to those shenanigans, and I mean right quick. They have much better things to do with their day than hang out at the bank. At gunpoint.
From elbomac: 3 & 6 meet for the first time the night before their arranged marriage is set to take place. What happens next?
Jack O'Neill and Rick Castle meet for the first time the night before their arranged marriage is set to take place. I am guessing that aliens are making them do it. I am also guessing that they agree right off the bat that there is no way any such wedding is taking place, and then, obviously, they come up with a clever and/or explosive way to get out of it. A good time is had by all.
...Wait, I just totally failed to slash them.
No, no, I'm sorry. It would take a braver woman than I. No wedding. Not even any UST. Just blowing shit up and getting the hell out of Dodge.
From missmollyetc: 5, 7, and 1 fight crime together! What wacky hijinks ensue?
Leonard McCoy, Vala Mal Doran, and Cordelia Naismith Vorkosigan fight crime together. Cordelia, naturally, quickly becomes the boss of this operation, exerting nigh-supernatural powers of personnel management to get Vala and McCoy to work together efficiently, each to their own strengths.
I expect that Cordelia is the only one not surprised when Leo and Vala hook up between one crime-fighting caper and the next. She saw that coming a long way off.
And the criminals, naturally, never know what hit them. Most of the time, after a long chat with Tante Cordelia, they are begging for prison or therapy or an opportunity to join the team. She does take a few of them on, from time to time. After all, it worked with Mark....
From rubynye: #8 gets sick. How does #2 take care of them? #5?
Patrick Jane gets sick. How do Kate Beckett and Leonard McCoy respectively take care of him?
Beckett mostly lets him get away with pretending he's fine--although naturally she calls Lisbon and tells her otherwise--but she casually supplies him with chicken soup and cough drops.
McCoy, of course, grumbles a lot about primitive viruses and basic preventative care and then jabs him with a hypospray. Problem goddamn solved.
#4 gets deaged into a screaming toddler. How does #1 deal? How does #9? How does #3 fix it?
Sam Carter gets deaged into a screaming toddler. How does Cordelia deal? How does Lisbon? How does Jack O'Neill fix it?
Cordelia copes, depending on just when this is for her, with a combination of a) Cordelia's natural aplomb and delight with little live things, and b) servants! But mostly Cordelia looks after Sam herself. Even if she's more mobile, Sam cannot possibly be more difficult than toddler Miles.
Lisbon just deals. She's been raising screaming little ones since she was twelve years old and inherited all her younger brothers; it's exponentially easier when the adults around you all automatically try to help, instead of being a chaotic force that you need to protect against. (She takes a couple of pictures of Jane cuddling tiny, miserable Sam, and then it occurs to her, given how alike their coloring is, that that's probably a pretty fair approximation of what Jane looked like holding his own daughter. She never shows those pictures to anyone. No one really notices--the pictures of Rigsby and Cho making ridiculous faces to try to cheer Sam up distract everyone.)
And then, of course, Jack turns up having tracked down either the appropriate alien device or some Asgard help, and Sam is put right again.
#7 makes dinner for #6 and #10. What is cooked? What is eaten?
Vala Mal Doran makes dinner for Rick Castle and Jim Kirk.
Excuse me while I giggle hysterically to myself about SGC dinner codes and peach pie.
Ahem! Ahem. Well, Vala probably cooks something down-home and all-American, maybe something Cam's mother cooked for them when they visited. If that goes horribly wrong, Vala cooks something that was very recently mostly cooked by someone else.
In any case, no one pays much attention to dinner because there is altogether too much flirting going on at that table and dessert...
There is plenty of dessert to go around. They eat a lot of it.
This entry was originally posted at http://dira.dreamwidth.org/526514.html. There are currently
comments there.