Fun Quotes
Off of Jay Leno:
Turning to this week's primary contests, Leno said: "After all the voting, President Bush called John Kerry to congratulate him. I'm not sure what they talked about. I think we can rule out swapping war stories. Very nice of him to call John Kerry to congratulate him. I'm sure that was heartfelt. Imagine Osama bin Laden calling Bush and saying, hey congratulations getting Saddam, yeah, good luck buddy!"
"I watched the other night, John Kerry supporters were holding a big victory party. And they showed John Kerry and Ted Kennedy speaking to them on a giant screen. Then I realized it wasn't a giant screen. It was just John Kerry's head and Ted Kennedy's head. It just looked like a giant screen."
"After failing to win a single seat on Tuesday, John Edwards described his campaign as the little engine that could. And afterward Bush called him too and said you're not going to believe this, but I'm reading that book right now."
"As you know John Edwards based his campaign in the fact that there are two Americas -- one for the wealthy and one for everyone else. And after his speech he thanked everyone else and went back to the America for the wealthy."
"Actually, Edwards officially dropped out of the race yesterday. I love it how candidates always have to make it official when they drop out. We know they lost. When a team loses the Super Bowl they don't hold a press conference the next day. OK we're going to announce now, it's official, we lost. We know you lost. We were there."
Off of David Letterman:
"Have you seen any of the new Bush television commercials? ... In one of the commercials you see George Bush for 30 seconds, in another commercial you get to see George Bush for 60 seconds. Kind of like his stint in the National Guard."
Turning to this week's primary contests, Leno said: "After all the voting, President Bush called John Kerry to congratulate him. I'm not sure what they talked about. I think we can rule out swapping war stories. Very nice of him to call John Kerry to congratulate him. I'm sure that was heartfelt. Imagine Osama bin Laden calling Bush and saying, hey congratulations getting Saddam, yeah, good luck buddy!"
"I watched the other night, John Kerry supporters were holding a big victory party. And they showed John Kerry and Ted Kennedy speaking to them on a giant screen. Then I realized it wasn't a giant screen. It was just John Kerry's head and Ted Kennedy's head. It just looked like a giant screen."
"After failing to win a single seat on Tuesday, John Edwards described his campaign as the little engine that could. And afterward Bush called him too and said you're not going to believe this, but I'm reading that book right now."
"As you know John Edwards based his campaign in the fact that there are two Americas -- one for the wealthy and one for everyone else. And after his speech he thanked everyone else and went back to the America for the wealthy."
"Actually, Edwards officially dropped out of the race yesterday. I love it how candidates always have to make it official when they drop out. We know they lost. When a team loses the Super Bowl they don't hold a press conference the next day. OK we're going to announce now, it's official, we lost. We know you lost. We were there."
Off of David Letterman:
"Have you seen any of the new Bush television commercials? ... In one of the commercials you see George Bush for 30 seconds, in another commercial you get to see George Bush for 60 seconds. Kind of like his stint in the National Guard."