(no subject)
I'm tired of being me
I'm tired of being the nice guy
I'm tired of looking at myself in the mirror and saying i'm not worth it
I'm tired of me
I hate myself and all I do
Who do i touch?
what worth do i have?
sure someone 4 years ago remembers what i did for them
what does that do for me now?
I hate myself more then i've hated anyrhing ever
what does being nice to someone get me?
I said i was sorry to nicole tonight.
what is that going to get me?
Nothing
I try to take care of the people that are here
what will that get me?
NOTHING
I hate everything to do with life
every day more and more i want to leave and just drive until i run out of gas
I'm fat i'm not funny i'm worthless
the girls i used to date have told me so.
so it must be true
i hate myself
I just wish i made a difference in someones life
a girl that i've loved for years told me to fuck myself
i'm worthless
a girl that i loved for three years cheated on me with whom ever she could
i'm worthless
I hate myself and everything i stand for.
I'm worthless
Have i really made a difference anywhere with anyones life?
i'm worthless
I should just go home
Everything in my life that i have ever loved has beraye or left me
i'm worthless
I really hate me
I've touched whos life?
NO ONE
I've tired
I really have tried
i gave my all to brooke
i did
and what happened there
she fucked everyone she could
didn'[t even own up to fucking my friends
the girls i've met up here
whores all of them
not one worth my time
Yet some
a certain few i think are
nicole was one
but shes nbot one
so many others i thought were
thre not
i view myself as better
i look for pure of heart
not like me
noit emotional fucked up
i am
very much so
i drink to forget
Gloria
Brooke
Meghan
all of them
i smoke to forget
i drink to forget
I never DO
They are always with me
my
MISTAKES
my wrong doings
My life
Fucked up
I hate me
I hate everything i have done
WHO HAVE I HELPED?
NO ONE
Everyone I've wanted to
has been a failure
I'm sorry
I really am
for me
for myself
my person
my life
I am truely usless
I wish i was't fat
I wish i was skiny
i wish i was attractice
i wish I could find the one
I wish i wasn't forevcer alone
I always am
friedns
are mine
but they neve know me
they never know who I am
I thought NIcole was a great person
She is too much like me
to much of my person
too much of me
Thats why
I hate me
and i'm sorry
I hate me
I hate myuself and everyhing i stand for
what do i stand for?
being a prick?
i'm not
i'm in the bathroom cleaning your face
why?
so you can fuck
I hate myself
i hate me
i hate what i do
why do i do it?
Dave
A great person
TOny
so much in his future
Mike
So much to live for so many love him
Neil
SO pretty and so loved
I hate me
Doug
Frat boy has so much
I have nothing
I have nothing comparied to them
what i had i pissed away so long ago
everyone who ever cared about me I got rid of years ago
anyone who ever knew anythign about me
I hate myself
I miss me
I miss what i used to be
so pure
so innocent
so lovely
I miss myself
I, now, am bad
I'm not a good person
Here now as i sit I realize i've become everythign i used to hate in my life
Everything
as Jim pointed out
I love him and miss him
my first close friend
I miss him
most of all I miss jared
I miss him more then anything
more then anything
i want to be close to him always
I love him so much
He is truely my everything
i cry
as i write this
i cry
he is everything to him
my life lives or dies with him
and even to him
i'm a failure
i don't do nearly enough for him
I should be there for him
I'm not
I should be around for what he needs
I'm not
I'm a failure even to him
I love him so much
More then i will ever love anyone I love Jared
He is truely my everything
I'm no good
I hate me
I should do so much more for him to show him how much i care
i don't do nearly enough
i never have
i've done what i thought i should
I hate me
I miss brooke
so much its sad
i know she never thinks aobut me
i think about her daily
so much reminds me of the three years i spent
WASTED
how could i love someone
someone who has no feelings?
I do
I did
I will
Always
I don't understand me
why?
why do i do it?
why do i subject myself to it?
Why do i listen to my heart?
I always will
Tailspin
now there is something that makes me happy
Not life
Not school
Not girls
Not anything
save two things
friends
and tailspin
I thank my friends for everyhing
EVERYTHING
i'd be no where with out them
I would never belitle them
that is not my intenion here
I miss Gloria
I miss her terriably
I'm sorry for what I've done to her
I'm sorry to Jim
i lied ot you
i did do what you think
i'm so sorry
i should have told
i didn't
i'm such a bad person
I really am
I should ahve told you but i didn't
I'm so sorry
I love you so much Jim
You were my first friend
And i lied
I'm such a fuck
i lead myself astray
i should never have
but i did
and i hate myself for it
i've done so much
so much i hate
so many people hate me
dave alley hates me
becacuse his wife fucked me
and i'm sory for that
i never did anything bad though
other then not listen to myself
something else leads me
what it is?
i don't know
and i'm so sorry
i'm sorry for me
i'm sorry for what i've done
i've caused nothign
but
hurt
pain
hate
hardship
i'm sorry to meghan
what i did to her was not worth what she did to me
i took it too far
i always do
I'm sorry to meghan
such a great girl
so ruined
i'm so sorry
what i did was wrong
She made me so happy
i wish i could tell her
everytthing about her
made me smile
from her hair to her laugh
i smiled
and then i lost it
i've lost everything
i drink to forget
tonight
i remembered
i'm sorry
Going back to gloria
I'm sorry
I hate what i've done
I hate what i've become
How do i change it?
should i?
what have i done that is good?
NOTHING
Mike is one of the greatest people i've ever met i hope he is treated well forever
I want to give him whatever is mine
forever
I miss jared
i want to see him so bad
the thoughts flow so free from my head right now
how else can I change it
I'm sorry nicole
I really am
the sad thing is I care for you
but i'm so afraid of that anymore
I can't love anyone anymore
Never again
I can't do that
not to anyone
ever
agaiin
What i've done to so many people is wrong
I
Don't
Deserve
To
Live
I
Have
Done
NOTHING
EVER
And I never will
Why do i still breath?
I'm so sorry
I really am
Who can I say I'm sorry to
Gloria
SO many years ago my youth lead me in the wrong direction I'm sorry
Brooke
I never Tried Enough ever there is so much I could have done to make you love me I never did
Meghan
I let my past get in the way of our future and i'm so sorry for that I should have loved you and not thought about anyone or anything else..... but i didn't
Mike
I'm sorry that i'm not the great person I should be towards you there is so much more I should do for you
JARED
I love you more then you know and you are always on my thoughts I'm so sorry I havn't been there for you IU wish I have been. I would give anything to be with you now. To be sitting talking to you getting drunk and or high with you.
Nicole
I'm sorry I was an ass to you. Its the fact I know that nothing will ever happen that makes me act like that
Tony
I'm sorry I'm sorry i'm not a better friend to you
Neil
The same thing applies to you
Dave
I'm sorry i've not bee more supportive of you and crystal I know I should be And i've tried my hardest but I know I should offer you more because you are great
Jared
I'm sorry again
Brooke I miss you
I'm so sorry
Doug
I'm Sorry I don't visit i wish i did
Jim
I'm so sorry to you I misss sitting in yyour liveing room trying to figure out how to hook up both VCR"s to do our john williams report I'm so sorry
I hate myself foreverything
i've done to everyone
Please forgive me
How can I change
How can I forget Derek
I can't
He is great
Or Drew
WOnderful
Or seals
All great friends and i thank you for being there for me
all of you
you always are
and i never am for you
I try to do what i can
but its never enough
I should do more
I should be more
can i ever do enough?
I will finish tonight with I'm sorry to anyone or everone i forgot
You are on my mind as much as everyone else
and i'm so sorry.
please forgive me
I'm tired of being the nice guy
I'm tired of looking at myself in the mirror and saying i'm not worth it
I'm tired of me
I hate myself and all I do
Who do i touch?
what worth do i have?
sure someone 4 years ago remembers what i did for them
what does that do for me now?
I hate myself more then i've hated anyrhing ever
what does being nice to someone get me?
I said i was sorry to nicole tonight.
what is that going to get me?
Nothing
I try to take care of the people that are here
what will that get me?
NOTHING
I hate everything to do with life
every day more and more i want to leave and just drive until i run out of gas
I'm fat i'm not funny i'm worthless
the girls i used to date have told me so.
so it must be true
i hate myself
I just wish i made a difference in someones life
a girl that i've loved for years told me to fuck myself
i'm worthless
a girl that i loved for three years cheated on me with whom ever she could
i'm worthless
I hate myself and everything i stand for.
I'm worthless
Have i really made a difference anywhere with anyones life?
i'm worthless
I should just go home
Everything in my life that i have ever loved has beraye or left me
i'm worthless
I really hate me
I've touched whos life?
NO ONE
I've tired
I really have tried
i gave my all to brooke
i did
and what happened there
she fucked everyone she could
didn'[t even own up to fucking my friends
the girls i've met up here
whores all of them
not one worth my time
Yet some
a certain few i think are
nicole was one
but shes nbot one
so many others i thought were
thre not
i view myself as better
i look for pure of heart
not like me
noit emotional fucked up
i am
very much so
i drink to forget
Gloria
Brooke
Meghan
all of them
i smoke to forget
i drink to forget
I never DO
They are always with me
my
MISTAKES
my wrong doings
My life
Fucked up
I hate me
I hate everything i have done
WHO HAVE I HELPED?
NO ONE
Everyone I've wanted to
has been a failure
I'm sorry
I really am
for me
for myself
my person
my life
I am truely usless
I wish i was't fat
I wish i was skiny
i wish i was attractice
i wish I could find the one
I wish i wasn't forevcer alone
I always am
friedns
are mine
but they neve know me
they never know who I am
I thought NIcole was a great person
She is too much like me
to much of my person
too much of me
Thats why
I hate me
and i'm sorry
I hate me
I hate myuself and everyhing i stand for
what do i stand for?
being a prick?
i'm not
i'm in the bathroom cleaning your face
why?
so you can fuck
I hate myself
i hate me
i hate what i do
why do i do it?
Dave
A great person
TOny
so much in his future
Mike
So much to live for so many love him
Neil
SO pretty and so loved
I hate me
Doug
Frat boy has so much
I have nothing
I have nothing comparied to them
what i had i pissed away so long ago
everyone who ever cared about me I got rid of years ago
anyone who ever knew anythign about me
I hate myself
I miss me
I miss what i used to be
so pure
so innocent
so lovely
I miss myself
I, now, am bad
I'm not a good person
Here now as i sit I realize i've become everythign i used to hate in my life
Everything
as Jim pointed out
I love him and miss him
my first close friend
I miss him
most of all I miss jared
I miss him more then anything
more then anything
i want to be close to him always
I love him so much
He is truely my everything
i cry
as i write this
i cry
he is everything to him
my life lives or dies with him
and even to him
i'm a failure
i don't do nearly enough for him
I should be there for him
I'm not
I should be around for what he needs
I'm not
I'm a failure even to him
I love him so much
More then i will ever love anyone I love Jared
He is truely my everything
I'm no good
I hate me
I should do so much more for him to show him how much i care
i don't do nearly enough
i never have
i've done what i thought i should
I hate me
I miss brooke
so much its sad
i know she never thinks aobut me
i think about her daily
so much reminds me of the three years i spent
WASTED
how could i love someone
someone who has no feelings?
I do
I did
I will
Always
I don't understand me
why?
why do i do it?
why do i subject myself to it?
Why do i listen to my heart?
I always will
Tailspin
now there is something that makes me happy
Not life
Not school
Not girls
Not anything
save two things
friends
and tailspin
I thank my friends for everyhing
EVERYTHING
i'd be no where with out them
I would never belitle them
that is not my intenion here
I miss Gloria
I miss her terriably
I'm sorry for what I've done to her
I'm sorry to Jim
i lied ot you
i did do what you think
i'm so sorry
i should have told
i didn't
i'm such a bad person
I really am
I should ahve told you but i didn't
I'm so sorry
I love you so much Jim
You were my first friend
And i lied
I'm such a fuck
i lead myself astray
i should never have
but i did
and i hate myself for it
i've done so much
so much i hate
so many people hate me
dave alley hates me
becacuse his wife fucked me
and i'm sory for that
i never did anything bad though
other then not listen to myself
something else leads me
what it is?
i don't know
and i'm so sorry
i'm sorry for me
i'm sorry for what i've done
i've caused nothign
but
hurt
pain
hate
hardship
i'm sorry to meghan
what i did to her was not worth what she did to me
i took it too far
i always do
I'm sorry to meghan
such a great girl
so ruined
i'm so sorry
what i did was wrong
She made me so happy
i wish i could tell her
everytthing about her
made me smile
from her hair to her laugh
i smiled
and then i lost it
i've lost everything
i drink to forget
tonight
i remembered
i'm sorry
Going back to gloria
I'm sorry
I hate what i've done
I hate what i've become
How do i change it?
should i?
what have i done that is good?
NOTHING
Mike is one of the greatest people i've ever met i hope he is treated well forever
I want to give him whatever is mine
forever
I miss jared
i want to see him so bad
the thoughts flow so free from my head right now
how else can I change it
I'm sorry nicole
I really am
the sad thing is I care for you
but i'm so afraid of that anymore
I can't love anyone anymore
Never again
I can't do that
not to anyone
ever
agaiin
What i've done to so many people is wrong
I
Don't
Deserve
To
Live
I
Have
Done
NOTHING
EVER
And I never will
Why do i still breath?
I'm so sorry
I really am
Who can I say I'm sorry to
Gloria
SO many years ago my youth lead me in the wrong direction I'm sorry
Brooke
I never Tried Enough ever there is so much I could have done to make you love me I never did
Meghan
I let my past get in the way of our future and i'm so sorry for that I should have loved you and not thought about anyone or anything else..... but i didn't
Mike
I'm sorry that i'm not the great person I should be towards you there is so much more I should do for you
JARED
I love you more then you know and you are always on my thoughts I'm so sorry I havn't been there for you IU wish I have been. I would give anything to be with you now. To be sitting talking to you getting drunk and or high with you.
Nicole
I'm sorry I was an ass to you. Its the fact I know that nothing will ever happen that makes me act like that
Tony
I'm sorry I'm sorry i'm not a better friend to you
Neil
The same thing applies to you
Dave
I'm sorry i've not bee more supportive of you and crystal I know I should be And i've tried my hardest but I know I should offer you more because you are great
Jared
I'm sorry again
Brooke I miss you
I'm so sorry
Doug
I'm Sorry I don't visit i wish i did
Jim
I'm so sorry to you I misss sitting in yyour liveing room trying to figure out how to hook up both VCR"s to do our john williams report I'm so sorry
I hate myself foreverything
i've done to everyone
Please forgive me
How can I change
How can I forget Derek
I can't
He is great
Or Drew
WOnderful
Or seals
All great friends and i thank you for being there for me
all of you
you always are
and i never am for you
I try to do what i can
but its never enough
I should do more
I should be more
can i ever do enough?
I will finish tonight with I'm sorry to anyone or everone i forgot
You are on my mind as much as everyone else
and i'm so sorry.
please forgive me