so much for that
so.. ya. to put it simply.. Jon broke up with me. slkdjf ya i cant really talk about it again. it hurts to much. i should of saw it coming. there were signs everywhere. but i just made up excuses or ignored them. god this sucks. everyone is being really cool about it, my bro even offered to go talk to him.. but ya that wouldnt be good. i just.. hate this. so much. :[ things were so great.. i was happy. i mean really happy. before him i didnt even feel like i was living.. and when i was with him i felt so alive. i had this whole illusion in my head. he was so sweet and nice to me. and everyone eles saw the real him. and now that he broke it off. ive been showed it by a lot of people. and i stuck up for him. i blamed other things. but i cant to that anymore. i just need to relize how much of an ass he can be. but ahh even as i right this im thinking that it isnt true and that hes not like that. bah. i wasnt with him that long at all. not even 2 weeks.. but it feels like so much longer. i never had anyone for a long relationship. the longest was like 2 months. i just thought we would be together for a while.. he was someone i saw myself falling in love with.. love hah ive never really felt that. but i guess i still have a while. only 16. we had all these plans too. that makes me even more sad. never gonna happen. i dont know if he will ever wanna go out with me again.. right now i dont even know if i would wanna get back with him. yet he made me feel so great that im afraid thats the only reason i would. and i dont want that to happen. well i dont want to ramble any more about him. i spent the whole day thinking about everything. and its driving me insane. got to go to Toni's and it helped that i could talk to her about everything. Then Melissa came and we went to Manassas mall. got to escape thinking about him and actually had a good time. <3 my ladies can always cheer me up. but its going to be a very long week. i have a feeling im gonna get a lot of "told you so's" from people at school who warned me about him. but ahh he acted so different with me. lksdjfkdjf ok im done.
i never thought that you could say these words
is this really happening?
(don't say that we can still be friends)
Erase my name for this page
How can you take all these days
(what is inside me what have i done?)
and throw them away
(is this the only way that you'll notice me?)
as i sit here waiting
(dead words for closed ears all this is sung for you)
i stay up nights
(if you're still pretending this is what is right)
until stars hit the sky
(why can you look at me can you only see)
knowing what my dreams can take away
(sides, your side, can take away)
walk away from me
this night is done
i never thought that you could say these words
is this really happening?
(don't say that we can still be friends)
Erase my name for this page
How can you take all these days
(what is inside me what have i done?)
and throw them away
(is this the only way that you'll notice me?)
as i sit here waiting
(dead words for closed ears all this is sung for you)
i stay up nights
(if you're still pretending this is what is right)
until stars hit the sky
(why can you look at me can you only see)
knowing what my dreams can take away
(sides, your side, can take away)
walk away from me
this night is done