Just *tell* him already!
Things that are less scary than telling Fraser how I feel:
1) Driving a burning car into the lake they call Michigan
2) Jumping off a building into the lake they call Michigan
3) Stepping into the path of a gunshot (WITH Kevlar on)
4) Riding a motorcyle through a window
5) Crashing through a skylight onto a poker table in a room full of armed criminals
6) Riding in a car Fraser is driving
Okay, that last one’s not actually scary. It’s just incredibly annoying.
But the point remains: telling the object of our affections how we feel can be a joyful, transcendent, life-affirming moment-but it can also be terrifying. And if you’re in law enforcement and the object of your affections is your same sex partner and best friend, a person who may or may not be interested in reciprocating said affections for any of the above reasons… well, that makes for a lot of really exciting, emotional-rollercoaster-type fanfic.
So that’s what I’m here to talk about today: fear of emotional disclosure in F/K slash. Care to discuss?
Onscreen, from “Burning Down the House” on, Ray Kowalski leaps into his relationship with Benton Fraser and gives it his all. In that one madcap episode, Ray meets Fraser, memorable hug and all, in character as his impersonation of Vecchio. He is a method actor. He is committed to the role. Fraser’s questions and refusal to play along don’t faze him; Ray just sticks to his guns. Fraser, for his part, finds immediate chemistry and lightning-paced banter with this Ray. He eventually looks into Ray’s past and finds a good and worthy man to call his partner.
Since their first dinner date (let’s be honest) post-BDtH, we see Ray accompany Fraser for apartment-hunting, camping in the park, and (attempted) ice-fishing. Meanwhile, Fraser joins Ray at his gym, meets his boxing protegé and accompanies Ray to the mall for Christmas shopping.
So we know they’re socializing. On the job, there’s chest-touching, hand-holding, after-hours poker games for air and quickly covered-up declarations of “symbolic” love, not to mention Ray and Dief bonding (and I could write a whole other essay on how much that fills me with joy). Also, one very darkly-lit underwater liplock. Watch us eat it all up with a spoon.
But in slash, we often need to get to a moment where somebody makes a move. A physical or verbal declaration of intent before (or sometimes after) we get to the hot sex and/or the happy ending. And, in the written medium, we can see the thought processes leading up to this.
What strikes me over and over is seeing one of the boys (or both) work up to taking that leap. Good stories thrive on conflict, and there are heaps of conflict inherent in the variety of valid reasons for these guys not to want to get romantically involved with each other. (Post-CoTW stories remove the partner issue and the cop issue but bring on the impending separation issue and flip the dynamic of the fish out of water issue). But in story after story, Ray and Fraser decide it’s worth it. Somebody decides to take that emotional risk and attempt to move their relationship to another level.
Now, I’m not saying they can’t discover it together. But who puts all his cards on the table most often?
Well, it’s obvious!
Ray Kowalski: Hello Sleeve, Meet My Heart
Throughout the series, Ray often objects to Fraser’s apparently fearless tendency to jump in without backup and engage in physically risky behavior. In BDtH he even claims he won’t stick his neck out for anyone. But when push comes to shove, Ray does everything back on the list I posted above the cut. Some of that stuff is even his own idea. :) He’s got physical bravery cred.
So what about emotional bravery?
We see in his relationship with Stella that Ray is a guy who is not afraid to make a fool of himself for love. He wears his heart on his sleeve. And, okay, he stalks people. I won’t claim that’s one of his more endearing qualities.
He famously asks Fraser if he finds Ray attractive, flies into a frenzy when the real Ray Vecchio returns to take his place back, lets slip to Thatcher his concerns that he wouldn’t know who he is anymore without Fraser, and asks to ride off into the sunset embark on an adventure with Fraser at the series’s end.
So, you figure, he’s a guy in touch with his feelings, right?
Hearts and Flowers
Falling for You
And, you know, Fraser digs that.
Of course, judging from the Stella situation and his fruitless attempts to ask women out, he’s also a guy who (willfully) might not be that in touch with reality when it come to matters of the heart.
Plus, he’s got a lot invested in his tough guy persona. And he’s more practical than Fraser for risk-taking a lot of the time, and more versed in the culture of Chicago, both in his work environment and in general. He might be more concerned about the possible repercussions of a relationship with another man. And he’s still demonstrably attached to Stella, or at least the idea of her.
Straightness
Juggling Act
Well, then. Clearly, the first to reveal his affections must be:
Benton Fraser: Completely Oblivious to Social Conventions
Physically, we know Fraser sometimes gets the gold medal for reckless disregard of caution. Emotionally, though, he’s rather more closed-in, more buttoned-up, more repressed than Ray, no? And he’s got all these nifty diversionary strategies to keep people away from the mysterious workings of his inner self.
Inclined
Bent
But… maybe that’s not so true when it comes to Ray? Fraser doesn’t just admit he finds Ray attractive; it’s “very much so, yes.” He doesn’t blink at replying to Ray’s impromptu declaration of love with “And I you, Ray.”
As for social stigma, Fraser’s famously happy to lick pretty much anything without seeming to notice or mind anyone’s discomfort about it, along with other unorthodox behaviors such as the way he converses with Dief. In general, Fraser doesn’t seem overly concerned with fitting in, and even could be said to go out of his way not to in some respects. And he’s not currently attached to anyone else. Perhaps, then, the practical and emotional issues that might stop Ray wouldn’t be as much of a concern for Fraser.
Vernacular
In His Makeup
Which can also be expressed through the power of music.
Or, you know, maybe they both have issues they need to work through. Like, with therapy.
In conclusion: it, uh, could go either way? All I know is, once one of the boys manages to take that monumental, scary, potentially disastrous first step… I’m a happy, happy little reader. And I’m on the edge of my seat to see what happens next!
This fandom has an incredibly rich and vast selection of stories-it’s reader paradise!-and I'm a newbie here, so I was only able to give a couple of examples per category. I’d love to hear your favorites.
So how do you see it? Who do you think is likelier to make the first move? How do you think it would happen (impromptu ficlets are highly encouraged--purely in the interests of research)? What fics have you read where they pull it off just the way you would imagine?
1) Driving a burning car into the lake they call Michigan
2) Jumping off a building into the lake they call Michigan
3) Stepping into the path of a gunshot (WITH Kevlar on)
4) Riding a motorcyle through a window
5) Crashing through a skylight onto a poker table in a room full of armed criminals
6) Riding in a car Fraser is driving
Okay, that last one’s not actually scary. It’s just incredibly annoying.
But the point remains: telling the object of our affections how we feel can be a joyful, transcendent, life-affirming moment-but it can also be terrifying. And if you’re in law enforcement and the object of your affections is your same sex partner and best friend, a person who may or may not be interested in reciprocating said affections for any of the above reasons… well, that makes for a lot of really exciting, emotional-rollercoaster-type fanfic.
So that’s what I’m here to talk about today: fear of emotional disclosure in F/K slash. Care to discuss?
Onscreen, from “Burning Down the House” on, Ray Kowalski leaps into his relationship with Benton Fraser and gives it his all. In that one madcap episode, Ray meets Fraser, memorable hug and all, in character as his impersonation of Vecchio. He is a method actor. He is committed to the role. Fraser’s questions and refusal to play along don’t faze him; Ray just sticks to his guns. Fraser, for his part, finds immediate chemistry and lightning-paced banter with this Ray. He eventually looks into Ray’s past and finds a good and worthy man to call his partner.
Since their first dinner date (let’s be honest) post-BDtH, we see Ray accompany Fraser for apartment-hunting, camping in the park, and (attempted) ice-fishing. Meanwhile, Fraser joins Ray at his gym, meets his boxing protegé and accompanies Ray to the mall for Christmas shopping.
So we know they’re socializing. On the job, there’s chest-touching, hand-holding, after-hours poker games for air and quickly covered-up declarations of “symbolic” love, not to mention Ray and Dief bonding (and I could write a whole other essay on how much that fills me with joy). Also, one very darkly-lit underwater liplock. Watch us eat it all up with a spoon.
But in slash, we often need to get to a moment where somebody makes a move. A physical or verbal declaration of intent before (or sometimes after) we get to the hot sex and/or the happy ending. And, in the written medium, we can see the thought processes leading up to this.
What strikes me over and over is seeing one of the boys (or both) work up to taking that leap. Good stories thrive on conflict, and there are heaps of conflict inherent in the variety of valid reasons for these guys not to want to get romantically involved with each other. (Post-CoTW stories remove the partner issue and the cop issue but bring on the impending separation issue and flip the dynamic of the fish out of water issue). But in story after story, Ray and Fraser decide it’s worth it. Somebody decides to take that emotional risk and attempt to move their relationship to another level.
Now, I’m not saying they can’t discover it together. But who puts all his cards on the table most often?
Well, it’s obvious!
Ray Kowalski: Hello Sleeve, Meet My Heart
Throughout the series, Ray often objects to Fraser’s apparently fearless tendency to jump in without backup and engage in physically risky behavior. In BDtH he even claims he won’t stick his neck out for anyone. But when push comes to shove, Ray does everything back on the list I posted above the cut. Some of that stuff is even his own idea. :) He’s got physical bravery cred.
So what about emotional bravery?
We see in his relationship with Stella that Ray is a guy who is not afraid to make a fool of himself for love. He wears his heart on his sleeve. And, okay, he stalks people. I won’t claim that’s one of his more endearing qualities.
He famously asks Fraser if he finds Ray attractive, flies into a frenzy when the real Ray Vecchio returns to take his place back, lets slip to Thatcher his concerns that he wouldn’t know who he is anymore without Fraser, and asks to ride off into the sunset embark on an adventure with Fraser at the series’s end.
So, you figure, he’s a guy in touch with his feelings, right?
Hearts and Flowers
Falling for You
And, you know, Fraser digs that.
Of course, judging from the Stella situation and his fruitless attempts to ask women out, he’s also a guy who (willfully) might not be that in touch with reality when it come to matters of the heart.
Plus, he’s got a lot invested in his tough guy persona. And he’s more practical than Fraser for risk-taking a lot of the time, and more versed in the culture of Chicago, both in his work environment and in general. He might be more concerned about the possible repercussions of a relationship with another man. And he’s still demonstrably attached to Stella, or at least the idea of her.
Straightness
Juggling Act
Well, then. Clearly, the first to reveal his affections must be:
Benton Fraser: Completely Oblivious to Social Conventions
Physically, we know Fraser sometimes gets the gold medal for reckless disregard of caution. Emotionally, though, he’s rather more closed-in, more buttoned-up, more repressed than Ray, no? And he’s got all these nifty diversionary strategies to keep people away from the mysterious workings of his inner self.
Inclined
Bent
But… maybe that’s not so true when it comes to Ray? Fraser doesn’t just admit he finds Ray attractive; it’s “very much so, yes.” He doesn’t blink at replying to Ray’s impromptu declaration of love with “And I you, Ray.”
As for social stigma, Fraser’s famously happy to lick pretty much anything without seeming to notice or mind anyone’s discomfort about it, along with other unorthodox behaviors such as the way he converses with Dief. In general, Fraser doesn’t seem overly concerned with fitting in, and even could be said to go out of his way not to in some respects. And he’s not currently attached to anyone else. Perhaps, then, the practical and emotional issues that might stop Ray wouldn’t be as much of a concern for Fraser.
Vernacular
In His Makeup
Which can also be expressed through the power of music.
Or, you know, maybe they both have issues they need to work through. Like, with therapy.
In conclusion: it, uh, could go either way? All I know is, once one of the boys manages to take that monumental, scary, potentially disastrous first step… I’m a happy, happy little reader. And I’m on the edge of my seat to see what happens next!
This fandom has an incredibly rich and vast selection of stories-it’s reader paradise!-and I'm a newbie here, so I was only able to give a couple of examples per category. I’d love to hear your favorites.
So how do you see it? Who do you think is likelier to make the first move? How do you think it would happen (impromptu ficlets are highly encouraged--purely in the interests of research)? What fics have you read where they pull it off just the way you would imagine?