Snapshots 1/1 BF/RV Prompt 132
Title: Snapshots
Rating: FRM
Warnings: angst, some language, sex
Pairing: BF/RV
Feedback: Yes, yes and yes, concrit or otherwise
Word Count: about 4,000 (What? It's shorter than the last one)
Disclaimer: I did not create these characters, but I have enjoy manipulating them. And uh, still apparently without money enough to be interesting to anyone.
Summary: Prompt # 132 Character A and Character B have to get married! Because, uhm, they HAVE to because of PLOT. I don't know. Honestly, I could read, like, twelve variants on this idea. AND IT MUST BE CONSUMMATED. ALSO BECAUSE OF PLOT. And then there is ANGST and KISSES. And a happy ending. \o/
Author’s Note: Three day weekends are very helpful for getting stuff done. Yay 2 prompt fics down 1 to go. When is the next three day weekend? ;-) Thank you to all that read my previous prompt response. It's always a challenge trying to write someone else's prompt, never quite sure if you're on the right track. For example this is prolly a lots angstier than the prompt calls for. I can't help myself.
Snapshots
At the Dinner Table
“You have got to be kidding me, get up.”
“Well, I want to do this the right way Ray.”
“There is no right way.”
“Am I supposed to be on both knees.”
“Oh geez. Get Up.
“Ray - “
“No, Benny. Just no.”
At the Union Hall
“You don’t throw someone a surprise wedding Fraser.”
“Well Francesca said that perhaps you just had cold feet and needed a little help. I thought the surprise wedding was an American tradition with which I was unfamiliar.”
“You have been in the country long enough to know perfectly well that there is no such thing as a surprise wedding tradition. We aren’t even engaged."
"We are beyond boyfriends. We should be husbands.”
“Is that some kind of ultimatum?”
“I - well I suppose it could be construed as such, but -“
“So we get married or what? Or what Fraser? I marry you today or what?”
“It might be a good idea if I move out of the apartment.”
“You want me to help you pack?”
“No, Ray I believe I can manage. I’ll make the apologies to the guests.”
At A Bar
“He's beautiful. He was beautiful today, like an angel. But you don't know, unless you've made that promise and fucked it up, you don't know what that feels like, how it marks you. And who the hell figured two guys would ever be able to get married anyway?"
“Green eyes, you dodged a bullet. Boyfriends are a dime a dozen, they come, they go. I’ve had more than I can count. What say we find us some real estate in the back room, get to know each other better?”
At the House
“This is not moving out. You moved in with Ma.”
“I accepted her very generous invitation, yes.”
“You’re playing dirty Fraser.”
“I’m not playing at all Ray.”
At the Two Nine
“When they mentioned the task force you two were the first ones who came to mind.”
“You have got to be kidding me.”
“Do you see me smiling Vecchio? Is serial murder something to smile about. The honeymoon killer makes you giddy?"
“Lieu, Harding you were at the wedding that wasn’t. I haven’t spoken to him in a month. I haven’t seen my family in a month.”
“Detective, those sound like personal problems that have nothing to do with my homicide investigation.”
At the Apartment, Photo Spread
It hadn’t taken long for Ray Vecchio and Benton Fraser to recover the external patterns and rhythms of their relationship. To the casual observer, they still appeared to be a couple, but on the inside...
Benton stared down at his empty plate. Ray’s mother had more than made sure that they wouldn’t starve when she found out that he was moving back into the apartment.
As far as the family knew they were back together. The two weeks since Benny’s return had been stifling. He and Ray hardly spoke unless it was case related, barely touched.
Fraser pushed his plate away. He needed to talk to Ray. He had never walked away from an assignment and the details of this case were especially heinous, same gender married couples murdered within weeks of their honeymoons, but he and Ray would be no good to anyone if they continued as they had.
He found Ray on their balcony staring at the lights of the city. He opened his mouth to speak, but Ray beat him to the punch.
“I don’t think that I can do this.”
“Do what Ray?”
“Pretend, pretend to be married to you.”
“I thought that you said Welsh was adamant about you and I -“
“I’m not talking about quitting the assignment. I just mean, maybe we should have a ceremony.”
“You want to have a wedding ceremony?”
“A civil ceremony. The killer might be able go deeper than we think on a background check. It might not be enough to say that we’re married and dummy the paperwork. I know a judge we can go into chambers with and have it done. Quick like. It won’t mean anything.”
“We would be married Ray.”
“Not really, no. As soon as the case is over we get it annulled. As long as we don’t consumate, it’ll be like it never happened. And since we’re broken up, the chances of that happening are pretty slim.”
“That’s -, I just need to step out for a bit. Dief has been a little restless.”
“Sure, Benny.”
At the park
“What are you doing here? Has something happened to my mother?”
“Son, your mother is dead. What could happen to her?”
“Then why are you here?”
“You know why I’m here. What are you and the Yank playing at. It was all I could do to keep your mother from coming. It’s a terrible mess.”
“I don’t understand how he could be so cruel.”
“You’re thinking of saying no.”
“He doesn’t really want to get married Dad. It’s a ruse.”
“The devil is in the details Benton. If you say yes, you would be married right? Legally.”
“This is not the way it should be.”
“Sometimes you have to make a silk purse out of a sow’s snout. Or was that ear. In any case I believe it takes two signatures to annul a marriage. I don’t think your yank is being entirely honest with himself. In partnership, sometimes, you just have to bear the other’s weight.”
At The End of Vegas, Photo Spread
Ben hadn’t thought about the desert for awhile, but he couldn’t help but think about it now. It had been both the best and worst thing to happen to the two of them. When he’d returned to Chicago from his vacation, he’d resolved some things for himself. Things he was eager to share wth Ray, but was met instead with Ray’s absence.
Upon Ray's return, they'd picked up on their routine as though the intervening two years had never happened. On the surface everything was as it was. Underneath, Ray couldn't seem to settle. And no one quite knew what to say to him. None of the family, and Ray's absence had made Fraser a de facto Vecchio, none of them realized that the fear for Ray’s life would still exist with Ray standing right in front of them
They'd expected him to shave the mustache, instead he grew a beard. The appearance of which both disturbed Ben and turned him on. He understood the psychological reasons for Ray to so alter his appearance, recognized it as a sign of just how difficult the undercover assignment had been. In the daylight, he found himself sneaking looks at Ray, mesmerized by the how the beard seemed to roughen, deepen Ray's imperfect beauty. At night, he dreamt about the feel of the beard against his face, his nipples, his erection and woke sticky.
There were other changes in Ray's behavior. He stopped wearing the bright colors and patterns that brought out his eyes and announced to everyone this is Ray Vecchio. His post-Vegas colors were muted, greyscale. Less silk, more denim.
Ben had done what he could, kept watch, waited and worried. He allowed Ray to settle them into the familiarity of their old routine until he thought the combined worry and desire would kill him.
Until one night as he slid out of the passenger's seat of Ray's car, as he had many nights since his friend's return, a hand grabbed his wrist and held on.
"I came back for you Benny. It's you."
Realization had slammed through Fraser as he slipped his wrist out of Ray's hold to grasp long fingers. He hadn't been waiting for this, for Ray to make this kind of acknowledgment. In the months since Ray's return he'd already given up on that happening. Instead all this time, until this moment when he felt Ray's cold fingers clutched tightly in his own. He'd been waiting for that phone call, still.
He'd been waiting for Welsh to call him and tell him that Ray was gone. That Ray was never coming back. That Ray was dead. Even with Ray sitting beside him all those nights he'd still been waiting.
"Come upstairs with me now Ray."
At the B & B, Photo Spread
Ray watched Benny under his eyelids as he rowed them across the lake. In the week they’d been at the B&B, trips across the lake happened at least once a day. The purpose was two-fold. It served the case. When they returned the boat to the little pier off the B&B dock, they always got knowing looks, the newlyweds off spending quality time together. It didn’t hurt that Benny always seemed to have grass in his hair when they got back to the inn. And Ray always waited to brush it out when he was sure someone was watching. And if he liked the way it made Benny shiver just a little under his hand, it wasn’t like it didn’t serve their cover. If Ray understood nothing else he understood serving the cover.
The strain of pretending their love for each other was without baggage continued to take its toll on both of them. On the lake, away from the other guests, they didn’t have to fake loving conversations to be overheard. On the lake they could relax a little and not talk to each other at all.
“Here, Ray?”
Ray stirred and realized that his eyes had slipped closed. Sleep. The other reason they took to the woods at least once a day. They gave their room a top to bottom search for bugs each time they went out for a any length of time, but they didn’t want to take unnecessary risks. Benny rowed until they were far enough away from the more populous parts of the B & B and they docked the boat.
“Here’s fine Benny,” Ray answered quietly.
While Benny tied up the boat, Ray grabbed the blankets and the picnic basket and started far enough away from the boat so that they weren’t immediately visible to anyone passing the island. He tossed the stuff on the ground and whipped out his cell. Dialed.
“Hey Lieu it’s Vecchio.” He watched as Benny pulled off his shirt and reached into the basket for a bottle of water. His eyes locked on the flex and play of Benny’s muscles as he dragged his t-shirt slowly over his torso, the formerly pink skin beginning to turn golden brown. Ray’s fingers tightened on his phone against the urge to reach out and caress. He had a sudden desire to shove Benny onto his back, push those Mountie knees back and bury himself inside. It had been a long time.
“Uh, sorry, Lieu what? I didn’t catch that.” He turned abruptly putting his back to Benny and moved a few feet away, further into the woods.
Ben tossed the shirt away in frustration. Were it not for his deep love for a certain green-eyed Italian, he would have followed Ray into the trees and strangled him. A crime of passion to be sure, he doubted any jury would convict him. He’d hoped that maybe once they were in these idyllic surroundings Ray’s resolve would melt. Were they not on the hunt for a killer, Ben thought this would have been a perfect place for them to spend some vacation time together.
At night, they took turns keeping watch. Last night had been Ben’s turn. As he spread out the blanket and sank to his knees, he admitted to himself how very tired he really was. Bearing the weight was exhausting. And though it was selfish, Ben had hoped for a brief respite. It would have been nice to be held, for just a moment, while he slept. Lowering the rest of his body to the blanket, the tired Mountie lay on his back, head in the grass and tried to sleep.
At the Two Nine, After
“Excellent work, Detective, Constable. There will be commendations for you both.”
“Thank you Lieutenant.”
Thank you sir.”
“If we hurry Benny, we can still make it to the judge’s chamber. I called this morning while you were finishing the report. She said that she would be able to fit us in.”
“For what?”
“For what?”
“Yes, Ray for what?”
“To get annulled. Benny, the case is over.”
“Ah, I see. No.”
“No. Whaddya mean no?”
“I mean it exactly as it sounds Ray, no.”
“I hear the words, but they aren’t making any sense.”
“I understand Ray.”
“Where the hell are you going?”
“To get my things.”
“I beg your pardon.”
“I’m going to the apartment to retrieve the belongings I brought from your mother’s house. The case is over.”
“And so what? You’re going to stay with the family again?”
“Of course, Ray.”
“We can’t live apart now.”
Why not Ray? We were living apart before.”
“We weren’t married before.”
“According to you we are not married now. I’ll come for Dief in the morning.”
“Benny.”
At The Witching Hour, Wedding Album
Ray glared at the clock on the nightstand that glowed 3 a.m. Seven mostly sleepless nights, seven sleeping alone nights. It was worse than before the undercover. Then it hurt, but they were broken up so it made a kind of sense. Ray couldn’t make this make sense. He couldn’t get his mind to accept that he was married, but alone. He’s your husband, he should be with you the voice in his head nagged. Flinging his legs over the side of the bed, Ray threw himself into an upright position and reached for the phone on the nightstand. He pushed one button on the keypad and waited.
“Hey, yeah no, no everything is fine. I just...couldn’t sleep. No, okay, okay you’re sure. Okay, yeah.”
The echoes of the first knock had barely faded as the sleep deprived Detective snatched open the door. Dief darted into the apartment, around Ray’s legs and disappeared. Benton was left standing in the doorway with his Stetson in hand.
“Hello Ray", he said softly. The Detective took one step toward his husband, grabbed him by the front of his shirt and dragged him into the apartment. The Mountie barely had time to steady himself before Ray kicked the door closed and pinned him against it.
And Benton knew the texture of this immediately. Come upstairs with me now Ray.
That night four years ago, Ray hadn't hesitated, he'd come willingly, allowing Benton to lead him to his apartment. As they mounted the stairs, Ben knew that there was no mistaking what was about to happen between them. As he led Ray up those stairs he simultaneously worked on quelling his fear that he was going to hurt Ray. Benton Fraser feared once they started, the intensity of his desire and need for Ray would strip his control. He would be unable to stop, under any circumstance.
He needn't have worried. His loss of control was swallowed whole by Ray's own. The scratches, bruises and bites discovered in the aftermath were nearly matched sets. They had begun that night, much like this. With Ray's full weight pressing him against a door.
Ray had more than a little practice in getting Benny undone and at the moment he was on top of his game. It took him very little time to get them both stripped down to nothing. His mouth never leaving the sweet hot one beneath his as he unsnapped, unzipped. Ray pressed himself against Fraser from mouth to ankle. He'd been aroused from the moment this man said that he would come over. From the fever in the hands stroking down his back, kneading his buttocks and the cock painting stripes in the crease of his thigh, the Detective deduced that the same was true for Benny. Sex had never been a problem for them. Right from the start they were in sync.
Without a word, Ray pulled away from Benny just enough to turn him so they were back to front. Without hesitation, Benny lifted his hands and braced them against the door. With a moan, Ray sunk his teeth into Fraser's shoulder as he slid both his hands down to stroke Benny's hardness. His own pressed into his lover's cleft.
"Ray." Ray collected pre-ejaculate on the fingers of one hand as he continued stroking with the other. Leaving one hand to do that work, he scissored into Fraser with two fingers of his other hand. "Ray, Ray -" . Then three.
The Mountie's knees nearly buckled. But Ray pushed his weight more firmly against Fraser as he spread him. There wasn't enough lubrication, there hadn't really been that first time either. It didn't stop Fraser from crying out with pleasure and erupting all over Ray's hand as Ray pushed all the way in. He'd wanted to be tender, but he barely had any control. Their situation, the amount of time since they'd last been together. Ray gripped Fraser's hips, pumping and pumping and pumping until what little rhythm he'd been able to maintain fell apart. He came.
"Benny," shouting his love's name.
Later, flat on his stomach, naked on their couch Ben opened his eyes and blinked until they focused. He saw Ray, also naked, sitting on the floor looking at him. He shut his eyes quickly against the sudden painful clenching in his heart. Was the end to be exactly like the beginning, taking even that away from him?There were minor differences, for instance instead of a holster and socks, this time Ray was completely naked.
Ben called that first morning after up in his mind, to see it one last time before this time tainted it forever.
At first when he'd awakened that morning, he thought he'd had a particularly vivid fever dream. Until he heard the rustle of a newspaper. Stumbling out of bed, he realized as he did so that he was sore and the skin on his face, around his nipples and below his waist tingled as though...
He had to blink a couple of times because unless he was still in the dream, he was hallucinating. The vision had remained the same. Ray Vecchio sat at his kitchen table wearing a shoulder holster, socks and nothing else. As he read the paper, he paused occassionally to circle something with a ballpoint.
As Fraser stood staring, Ray looked up at him and smiled. "I've been wanting to do this for a long time."
Fraser had no choice, but to move around behind Ray to see what he was doing. As he peered over the other man's shoulder he saw that he was marking apartment rental ads. He also noticed an irregularly shaped purple blue mark on Ray's neck. His mouth watered at the sudden sense memory of the taste of Ray's skin on his tongue. His face flushed embarrassment, but that was outpaced by the rush of heat to other parts of his body. That heat emboldened his tongue.
"That's what you've wanted to do for a long time?" The other man stilled, with the pen poised over another listing.
"You might have a point Mountie." And then Ray turned which put him eye to eye so to speak with Fraser. Before the Mountie could say anything, Ray leaned forward and with deft flicks of his tongue conveyed his intention to have Benny for breakfast.
They'd moved into their current apartment one week later. There were rough patches in the beginning. Fraser discovered that Ray often didn't sleep through the night. On more than one occassion in the early months of living together, he'd found Ray sitting alone drinking a glass of wine, a habit picked up in Las Vegas. It scared Ben a little, but he didn't let it show. He simply, approached Ray carefully, stroked his hands soothingly across his scalp, gently massaged at the tension in his shoulders before whispering soflty in his ear. "You're home. You're okay. I love you."
It became a ritual. After Ben spoke these words he would return to their bed. Ray would follow shortly, gather Ben into his arms and sleep. The pattern held for three months until one night, Fraser found Ray with a whole bottle of wine instead of a glass. And after Fraser said, "I love you." Ray clutched at him and burst into tears. For several hours the man that Benton Fraser loved cried out the sins of his undercover. The things he'd had to do to preserve his cover, the things he'd done to stay alive. The things even the Feds didn't know about.
Fraser held him until he was spent and then at Ray's request he led him into their bathroom and shaved away the beard and the mustache. Ben called them both out sick and they'd spent that day together not really doing much of anything. In the evening as Benny sorted the laundry, Ray leaned against the doorjamb and watched him quietly for several minutes. When he finally spoke it was with a mix of awe and pain that hurt Fraser to hear.
"You really are in love with me?"
"Yes, Ray Vecchio I really am." And the storm that was Las Vegas seemed to finally break.
That memory aroused Fraser. He opened his eyes quickly. He knew that seeing Ray now on this morning after would do the quick work of a cold shower. He was right. Misery clearly marked the features and slumped the posture of the man he'd shared a home with for the last four years of his life.
Green eyes glistened at him intently.
“I love you.”
“I know that Ray,” he answered wearily.
“And I don’t want this.”
Fraser pushed himself into a sitting position and pulled the afghan from the back of the couch into his lap. There was no way for him to protect himself from what was coming, but he could pretend.
“You’ve made that more than clear.”
“No, no that’s not what I meant. I don’t want late night booty calls. I want you here with me.”
“I won’t agree to an anulment.”
“Well we can’t now, can we?”
“I won’t sign divorce papers.”
“Yeah, I kind of figured that.”
“For both our sakes Ray, I need you to say exactly what you mean.”
Ray crawled across the carpet until he was right in front of Fraser. He knelt up so that he could trace his fingers over Fraser's cheeks, his eyes, his mouth. Trembling, they came to rest just over Fraser's heart.
"Benton Fraser will you marry me?"
"Ray, we're already -"
Ray's mouth against his cut him off, for several long minutes. It was the heat and the passion there had always been between them. When there was no choice but to breathe, Ray pressed his fingers to Benny's mouth to discourage him from speaking.
"Let me rephrase that. Will you let me marry you the way I should have. With our family and our friends, with you so beautiful in wedding white that it's hard for me to look at you and breathe. And a real honeymoon. Will you let me try to undo this damage. Please."
Fraser opened his mouth to speak, but couldn't find his voice. Instead, he pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes.
"I'm so tired."
Ray Vecchio enfolded his husband in his arms. Fingers carded gently through Fraser's hair.
"I haven't been good to you these last months. I've been an asshole. I know that. That's all I could think about while you were sleeping. I've hurt you. I'm an asshole. You had every reason not to pick up the phone, not to be here. I just, I've made this promise before and I couldn't keep it. I didn't want to make it again. It would shatter my soul not to be able to keep it now.
Fraser pulled out of Ray's embrace and pressed his mouth urgently to his husband's.
"Then do." Fraser whispered, finally finding his voice, "Just do."
"I will. I will." Ray whispered back as he pressed his husband into the cushions of their couch and began to re-consumate their vows with the tenderness and care they deserved.
The end
Rating: FRM
Warnings: angst, some language, sex
Pairing: BF/RV
Feedback: Yes, yes and yes, concrit or otherwise
Word Count: about 4,000 (What? It's shorter than the last one)
Disclaimer: I did not create these characters, but I have enjoy manipulating them. And uh, still apparently without money enough to be interesting to anyone.
Summary: Prompt # 132 Character A and Character B have to get married! Because, uhm, they HAVE to because of PLOT. I don't know. Honestly, I could read, like, twelve variants on this idea. AND IT MUST BE CONSUMMATED. ALSO BECAUSE OF PLOT. And then there is ANGST and KISSES. And a happy ending. \o/
Author’s Note: Three day weekends are very helpful for getting stuff done. Yay 2 prompt fics down 1 to go. When is the next three day weekend? ;-) Thank you to all that read my previous prompt response. It's always a challenge trying to write someone else's prompt, never quite sure if you're on the right track. For example this is prolly a lots angstier than the prompt calls for. I can't help myself.
Snapshots
At the Dinner Table
“You have got to be kidding me, get up.”
“Well, I want to do this the right way Ray.”
“There is no right way.”
“Am I supposed to be on both knees.”
“Oh geez. Get Up.
“Ray - “
“No, Benny. Just no.”
At the Union Hall
“You don’t throw someone a surprise wedding Fraser.”
“Well Francesca said that perhaps you just had cold feet and needed a little help. I thought the surprise wedding was an American tradition with which I was unfamiliar.”
“You have been in the country long enough to know perfectly well that there is no such thing as a surprise wedding tradition. We aren’t even engaged."
"We are beyond boyfriends. We should be husbands.”
“Is that some kind of ultimatum?”
“I - well I suppose it could be construed as such, but -“
“So we get married or what? Or what Fraser? I marry you today or what?”
“It might be a good idea if I move out of the apartment.”
“You want me to help you pack?”
“No, Ray I believe I can manage. I’ll make the apologies to the guests.”
At A Bar
“He's beautiful. He was beautiful today, like an angel. But you don't know, unless you've made that promise and fucked it up, you don't know what that feels like, how it marks you. And who the hell figured two guys would ever be able to get married anyway?"
“Green eyes, you dodged a bullet. Boyfriends are a dime a dozen, they come, they go. I’ve had more than I can count. What say we find us some real estate in the back room, get to know each other better?”
At the House
“This is not moving out. You moved in with Ma.”
“I accepted her very generous invitation, yes.”
“You’re playing dirty Fraser.”
“I’m not playing at all Ray.”
At the Two Nine
“When they mentioned the task force you two were the first ones who came to mind.”
“You have got to be kidding me.”
“Do you see me smiling Vecchio? Is serial murder something to smile about. The honeymoon killer makes you giddy?"
“Lieu, Harding you were at the wedding that wasn’t. I haven’t spoken to him in a month. I haven’t seen my family in a month.”
“Detective, those sound like personal problems that have nothing to do with my homicide investigation.”
At the Apartment, Photo Spread
It hadn’t taken long for Ray Vecchio and Benton Fraser to recover the external patterns and rhythms of their relationship. To the casual observer, they still appeared to be a couple, but on the inside...
Benton stared down at his empty plate. Ray’s mother had more than made sure that they wouldn’t starve when she found out that he was moving back into the apartment.
As far as the family knew they were back together. The two weeks since Benny’s return had been stifling. He and Ray hardly spoke unless it was case related, barely touched.
Fraser pushed his plate away. He needed to talk to Ray. He had never walked away from an assignment and the details of this case were especially heinous, same gender married couples murdered within weeks of their honeymoons, but he and Ray would be no good to anyone if they continued as they had.
He found Ray on their balcony staring at the lights of the city. He opened his mouth to speak, but Ray beat him to the punch.
“I don’t think that I can do this.”
“Do what Ray?”
“Pretend, pretend to be married to you.”
“I thought that you said Welsh was adamant about you and I -“
“I’m not talking about quitting the assignment. I just mean, maybe we should have a ceremony.”
“You want to have a wedding ceremony?”
“A civil ceremony. The killer might be able go deeper than we think on a background check. It might not be enough to say that we’re married and dummy the paperwork. I know a judge we can go into chambers with and have it done. Quick like. It won’t mean anything.”
“We would be married Ray.”
“Not really, no. As soon as the case is over we get it annulled. As long as we don’t consumate, it’ll be like it never happened. And since we’re broken up, the chances of that happening are pretty slim.”
“That’s -, I just need to step out for a bit. Dief has been a little restless.”
“Sure, Benny.”
At the park
“What are you doing here? Has something happened to my mother?”
“Son, your mother is dead. What could happen to her?”
“Then why are you here?”
“You know why I’m here. What are you and the Yank playing at. It was all I could do to keep your mother from coming. It’s a terrible mess.”
“I don’t understand how he could be so cruel.”
“You’re thinking of saying no.”
“He doesn’t really want to get married Dad. It’s a ruse.”
“The devil is in the details Benton. If you say yes, you would be married right? Legally.”
“This is not the way it should be.”
“Sometimes you have to make a silk purse out of a sow’s snout. Or was that ear. In any case I believe it takes two signatures to annul a marriage. I don’t think your yank is being entirely honest with himself. In partnership, sometimes, you just have to bear the other’s weight.”
At The End of Vegas, Photo Spread
Ben hadn’t thought about the desert for awhile, but he couldn’t help but think about it now. It had been both the best and worst thing to happen to the two of them. When he’d returned to Chicago from his vacation, he’d resolved some things for himself. Things he was eager to share wth Ray, but was met instead with Ray’s absence.
Upon Ray's return, they'd picked up on their routine as though the intervening two years had never happened. On the surface everything was as it was. Underneath, Ray couldn't seem to settle. And no one quite knew what to say to him. None of the family, and Ray's absence had made Fraser a de facto Vecchio, none of them realized that the fear for Ray’s life would still exist with Ray standing right in front of them
They'd expected him to shave the mustache, instead he grew a beard. The appearance of which both disturbed Ben and turned him on. He understood the psychological reasons for Ray to so alter his appearance, recognized it as a sign of just how difficult the undercover assignment had been. In the daylight, he found himself sneaking looks at Ray, mesmerized by the how the beard seemed to roughen, deepen Ray's imperfect beauty. At night, he dreamt about the feel of the beard against his face, his nipples, his erection and woke sticky.
There were other changes in Ray's behavior. He stopped wearing the bright colors and patterns that brought out his eyes and announced to everyone this is Ray Vecchio. His post-Vegas colors were muted, greyscale. Less silk, more denim.
Ben had done what he could, kept watch, waited and worried. He allowed Ray to settle them into the familiarity of their old routine until he thought the combined worry and desire would kill him.
Until one night as he slid out of the passenger's seat of Ray's car, as he had many nights since his friend's return, a hand grabbed his wrist and held on.
"I came back for you Benny. It's you."
Realization had slammed through Fraser as he slipped his wrist out of Ray's hold to grasp long fingers. He hadn't been waiting for this, for Ray to make this kind of acknowledgment. In the months since Ray's return he'd already given up on that happening. Instead all this time, until this moment when he felt Ray's cold fingers clutched tightly in his own. He'd been waiting for that phone call, still.
He'd been waiting for Welsh to call him and tell him that Ray was gone. That Ray was never coming back. That Ray was dead. Even with Ray sitting beside him all those nights he'd still been waiting.
"Come upstairs with me now Ray."
At the B & B, Photo Spread
Ray watched Benny under his eyelids as he rowed them across the lake. In the week they’d been at the B&B, trips across the lake happened at least once a day. The purpose was two-fold. It served the case. When they returned the boat to the little pier off the B&B dock, they always got knowing looks, the newlyweds off spending quality time together. It didn’t hurt that Benny always seemed to have grass in his hair when they got back to the inn. And Ray always waited to brush it out when he was sure someone was watching. And if he liked the way it made Benny shiver just a little under his hand, it wasn’t like it didn’t serve their cover. If Ray understood nothing else he understood serving the cover.
The strain of pretending their love for each other was without baggage continued to take its toll on both of them. On the lake, away from the other guests, they didn’t have to fake loving conversations to be overheard. On the lake they could relax a little and not talk to each other at all.
“Here, Ray?”
Ray stirred and realized that his eyes had slipped closed. Sleep. The other reason they took to the woods at least once a day. They gave their room a top to bottom search for bugs each time they went out for a any length of time, but they didn’t want to take unnecessary risks. Benny rowed until they were far enough away from the more populous parts of the B & B and they docked the boat.
“Here’s fine Benny,” Ray answered quietly.
While Benny tied up the boat, Ray grabbed the blankets and the picnic basket and started far enough away from the boat so that they weren’t immediately visible to anyone passing the island. He tossed the stuff on the ground and whipped out his cell. Dialed.
“Hey Lieu it’s Vecchio.” He watched as Benny pulled off his shirt and reached into the basket for a bottle of water. His eyes locked on the flex and play of Benny’s muscles as he dragged his t-shirt slowly over his torso, the formerly pink skin beginning to turn golden brown. Ray’s fingers tightened on his phone against the urge to reach out and caress. He had a sudden desire to shove Benny onto his back, push those Mountie knees back and bury himself inside. It had been a long time.
“Uh, sorry, Lieu what? I didn’t catch that.” He turned abruptly putting his back to Benny and moved a few feet away, further into the woods.
Ben tossed the shirt away in frustration. Were it not for his deep love for a certain green-eyed Italian, he would have followed Ray into the trees and strangled him. A crime of passion to be sure, he doubted any jury would convict him. He’d hoped that maybe once they were in these idyllic surroundings Ray’s resolve would melt. Were they not on the hunt for a killer, Ben thought this would have been a perfect place for them to spend some vacation time together.
At night, they took turns keeping watch. Last night had been Ben’s turn. As he spread out the blanket and sank to his knees, he admitted to himself how very tired he really was. Bearing the weight was exhausting. And though it was selfish, Ben had hoped for a brief respite. It would have been nice to be held, for just a moment, while he slept. Lowering the rest of his body to the blanket, the tired Mountie lay on his back, head in the grass and tried to sleep.
At the Two Nine, After
“Excellent work, Detective, Constable. There will be commendations for you both.”
“Thank you Lieutenant.”
Thank you sir.”
“If we hurry Benny, we can still make it to the judge’s chamber. I called this morning while you were finishing the report. She said that she would be able to fit us in.”
“For what?”
“For what?”
“Yes, Ray for what?”
“To get annulled. Benny, the case is over.”
“Ah, I see. No.”
“No. Whaddya mean no?”
“I mean it exactly as it sounds Ray, no.”
“I hear the words, but they aren’t making any sense.”
“I understand Ray.”
“Where the hell are you going?”
“To get my things.”
“I beg your pardon.”
“I’m going to the apartment to retrieve the belongings I brought from your mother’s house. The case is over.”
“And so what? You’re going to stay with the family again?”
“Of course, Ray.”
“We can’t live apart now.”
Why not Ray? We were living apart before.”
“We weren’t married before.”
“According to you we are not married now. I’ll come for Dief in the morning.”
“Benny.”
At The Witching Hour, Wedding Album
Ray glared at the clock on the nightstand that glowed 3 a.m. Seven mostly sleepless nights, seven sleeping alone nights. It was worse than before the undercover. Then it hurt, but they were broken up so it made a kind of sense. Ray couldn’t make this make sense. He couldn’t get his mind to accept that he was married, but alone. He’s your husband, he should be with you the voice in his head nagged. Flinging his legs over the side of the bed, Ray threw himself into an upright position and reached for the phone on the nightstand. He pushed one button on the keypad and waited.
“Hey, yeah no, no everything is fine. I just...couldn’t sleep. No, okay, okay you’re sure. Okay, yeah.”
The echoes of the first knock had barely faded as the sleep deprived Detective snatched open the door. Dief darted into the apartment, around Ray’s legs and disappeared. Benton was left standing in the doorway with his Stetson in hand.
“Hello Ray", he said softly. The Detective took one step toward his husband, grabbed him by the front of his shirt and dragged him into the apartment. The Mountie barely had time to steady himself before Ray kicked the door closed and pinned him against it.
And Benton knew the texture of this immediately. Come upstairs with me now Ray.
That night four years ago, Ray hadn't hesitated, he'd come willingly, allowing Benton to lead him to his apartment. As they mounted the stairs, Ben knew that there was no mistaking what was about to happen between them. As he led Ray up those stairs he simultaneously worked on quelling his fear that he was going to hurt Ray. Benton Fraser feared once they started, the intensity of his desire and need for Ray would strip his control. He would be unable to stop, under any circumstance.
He needn't have worried. His loss of control was swallowed whole by Ray's own. The scratches, bruises and bites discovered in the aftermath were nearly matched sets. They had begun that night, much like this. With Ray's full weight pressing him against a door.
Ray had more than a little practice in getting Benny undone and at the moment he was on top of his game. It took him very little time to get them both stripped down to nothing. His mouth never leaving the sweet hot one beneath his as he unsnapped, unzipped. Ray pressed himself against Fraser from mouth to ankle. He'd been aroused from the moment this man said that he would come over. From the fever in the hands stroking down his back, kneading his buttocks and the cock painting stripes in the crease of his thigh, the Detective deduced that the same was true for Benny. Sex had never been a problem for them. Right from the start they were in sync.
Without a word, Ray pulled away from Benny just enough to turn him so they were back to front. Without hesitation, Benny lifted his hands and braced them against the door. With a moan, Ray sunk his teeth into Fraser's shoulder as he slid both his hands down to stroke Benny's hardness. His own pressed into his lover's cleft.
"Ray." Ray collected pre-ejaculate on the fingers of one hand as he continued stroking with the other. Leaving one hand to do that work, he scissored into Fraser with two fingers of his other hand. "Ray, Ray -" . Then three.
The Mountie's knees nearly buckled. But Ray pushed his weight more firmly against Fraser as he spread him. There wasn't enough lubrication, there hadn't really been that first time either. It didn't stop Fraser from crying out with pleasure and erupting all over Ray's hand as Ray pushed all the way in. He'd wanted to be tender, but he barely had any control. Their situation, the amount of time since they'd last been together. Ray gripped Fraser's hips, pumping and pumping and pumping until what little rhythm he'd been able to maintain fell apart. He came.
"Benny," shouting his love's name.
Later, flat on his stomach, naked on their couch Ben opened his eyes and blinked until they focused. He saw Ray, also naked, sitting on the floor looking at him. He shut his eyes quickly against the sudden painful clenching in his heart. Was the end to be exactly like the beginning, taking even that away from him?There were minor differences, for instance instead of a holster and socks, this time Ray was completely naked.
Ben called that first morning after up in his mind, to see it one last time before this time tainted it forever.
At first when he'd awakened that morning, he thought he'd had a particularly vivid fever dream. Until he heard the rustle of a newspaper. Stumbling out of bed, he realized as he did so that he was sore and the skin on his face, around his nipples and below his waist tingled as though...
He had to blink a couple of times because unless he was still in the dream, he was hallucinating. The vision had remained the same. Ray Vecchio sat at his kitchen table wearing a shoulder holster, socks and nothing else. As he read the paper, he paused occassionally to circle something with a ballpoint.
As Fraser stood staring, Ray looked up at him and smiled. "I've been wanting to do this for a long time."
Fraser had no choice, but to move around behind Ray to see what he was doing. As he peered over the other man's shoulder he saw that he was marking apartment rental ads. He also noticed an irregularly shaped purple blue mark on Ray's neck. His mouth watered at the sudden sense memory of the taste of Ray's skin on his tongue. His face flushed embarrassment, but that was outpaced by the rush of heat to other parts of his body. That heat emboldened his tongue.
"That's what you've wanted to do for a long time?" The other man stilled, with the pen poised over another listing.
"You might have a point Mountie." And then Ray turned which put him eye to eye so to speak with Fraser. Before the Mountie could say anything, Ray leaned forward and with deft flicks of his tongue conveyed his intention to have Benny for breakfast.
They'd moved into their current apartment one week later. There were rough patches in the beginning. Fraser discovered that Ray often didn't sleep through the night. On more than one occassion in the early months of living together, he'd found Ray sitting alone drinking a glass of wine, a habit picked up in Las Vegas. It scared Ben a little, but he didn't let it show. He simply, approached Ray carefully, stroked his hands soothingly across his scalp, gently massaged at the tension in his shoulders before whispering soflty in his ear. "You're home. You're okay. I love you."
It became a ritual. After Ben spoke these words he would return to their bed. Ray would follow shortly, gather Ben into his arms and sleep. The pattern held for three months until one night, Fraser found Ray with a whole bottle of wine instead of a glass. And after Fraser said, "I love you." Ray clutched at him and burst into tears. For several hours the man that Benton Fraser loved cried out the sins of his undercover. The things he'd had to do to preserve his cover, the things he'd done to stay alive. The things even the Feds didn't know about.
Fraser held him until he was spent and then at Ray's request he led him into their bathroom and shaved away the beard and the mustache. Ben called them both out sick and they'd spent that day together not really doing much of anything. In the evening as Benny sorted the laundry, Ray leaned against the doorjamb and watched him quietly for several minutes. When he finally spoke it was with a mix of awe and pain that hurt Fraser to hear.
"You really are in love with me?"
"Yes, Ray Vecchio I really am." And the storm that was Las Vegas seemed to finally break.
That memory aroused Fraser. He opened his eyes quickly. He knew that seeing Ray now on this morning after would do the quick work of a cold shower. He was right. Misery clearly marked the features and slumped the posture of the man he'd shared a home with for the last four years of his life.
Green eyes glistened at him intently.
“I love you.”
“I know that Ray,” he answered wearily.
“And I don’t want this.”
Fraser pushed himself into a sitting position and pulled the afghan from the back of the couch into his lap. There was no way for him to protect himself from what was coming, but he could pretend.
“You’ve made that more than clear.”
“No, no that’s not what I meant. I don’t want late night booty calls. I want you here with me.”
“I won’t agree to an anulment.”
“Well we can’t now, can we?”
“I won’t sign divorce papers.”
“Yeah, I kind of figured that.”
“For both our sakes Ray, I need you to say exactly what you mean.”
Ray crawled across the carpet until he was right in front of Fraser. He knelt up so that he could trace his fingers over Fraser's cheeks, his eyes, his mouth. Trembling, they came to rest just over Fraser's heart.
"Benton Fraser will you marry me?"
"Ray, we're already -"
Ray's mouth against his cut him off, for several long minutes. It was the heat and the passion there had always been between them. When there was no choice but to breathe, Ray pressed his fingers to Benny's mouth to discourage him from speaking.
"Let me rephrase that. Will you let me marry you the way I should have. With our family and our friends, with you so beautiful in wedding white that it's hard for me to look at you and breathe. And a real honeymoon. Will you let me try to undo this damage. Please."
Fraser opened his mouth to speak, but couldn't find his voice. Instead, he pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes.
"I'm so tired."
Ray Vecchio enfolded his husband in his arms. Fingers carded gently through Fraser's hair.
"I haven't been good to you these last months. I've been an asshole. I know that. That's all I could think about while you were sleeping. I've hurt you. I'm an asshole. You had every reason not to pick up the phone, not to be here. I just, I've made this promise before and I couldn't keep it. I didn't want to make it again. It would shatter my soul not to be able to keep it now.
Fraser pulled out of Ray's embrace and pressed his mouth urgently to his husband's.
"Then do." Fraser whispered, finally finding his voice, "Just do."
"I will. I will." Ray whispered back as he pressed his husband into the cushions of their couch and began to re-consumate their vows with the tenderness and care they deserved.
The end