TEAM ROMANCE: Day 16, "Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Geography (But Were Afraid to Ask)"
Title: Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Geography (But Were Afraid to Ask)
Author: kristiinthedark
Team: Romance
Prompt: "Dolphins don't get shot at for a living."
Pairing(s): Fraser/Kowalski
Length: 1900 words
Rating: R
Warnings: None
Summary: Ray's along for the ride, as long as it lasts.
Once you've read the story, please take a moment to vote in the poll below. Ratings go from 1 (low) to 9 (high), so all you need to do is enter a single number in that range into each text entry box. You'll be able to see the Prompt and Team (Genre) information in the header above.
More details about the voting procedure can be found here.
**
First time Fraser kissed me, it wasn't that different from when he punched me. I'd been wanting it, needing it, probably asking for it, but dreading it at the same time. And when it happened, when he leaned across the front seat of the GTO right there in front of the Consulate, and took my mouth with his, hot and wet and greedy, like it was something that had always been his to take, it also felt so goddamn final. Because that's what happens when lines are crossed, right? Things... change, and there ain't no going back to the way the way it was before. So I figured maybe that was the end of everything. No more partnership and no more friendship.
Since then, I've been waiting. Enjoying the ride while it lasts, but still just waiting. Every now and then, he'll wanna talk about what comes next, but I can't bring myself to just yet. Because I know it's probably only a matter of time before he looks at me, really looks at me, and comes to his senses. Moves back to Northwest Areas, or wherever, and me and Fraser will be over.
The days are routine for us, myself and Ray. In the beginning, we would awaken together in a tangle of sleepy limbs on Ray's bed, still relaxed from the previous night's sex, only to reach for each other all over again. Now, I'm usually out of bed first. I used to go so far as shower and get dressed, but now I simply make his coffee and my tea in the kitchen I've become quite accustomed to before going to wake him. I've learned to allow for extra time in the morning, because he will barely open his eyes before he pulls me back down onto the bed with him.
He wraps himself around me then, until there is no room between us and I can barely breathe. I really don't mind, though. Ray doesn't express any interest in discussing our future together, -- in fact, he changes the subject whenever I mention it --- but the way he touches me tells me all I need to know. So I let him pin me down; I let him make me sweat and moan and beg for him. And when he pushes his strong, hard body into mine, I never feel quite so close to him as I do then. I never feel quite so possessed. I find myself liking that feeling quite well.
Sometimes, being with Fraser sucks. Don't get me wrong -- the sex is good enough. Aw, hell, the sex is fantastic. Best ever. What he does to me with his cock and his mouth makes me come so hard I can't hardly see straight. Or the way he shoves his fingers inside of me with one hand, while he plays with my nipples with the other -- I'm pretty sure that's gotta be illegal somewhere, because things that feel that amazing usually are.
But then there's Fraser being, well... Fraser. He's picky and stubborn and he pouts when he's mad like nobody I've ever seen. And, of course, there's the whole correcting me thing, which drives me absolutely up the fucking wall, especially because he’s right most of the time. That's not the worst thing, though. The worst thing is, when he starts talking about Canada, he stops using the word "we" and starts using "I." As in, "I miss the way snow from home smells, Ray. I miss the way it tastes."
I hate it when he does that. I hate it so fucking much.
"Hey, Frase, you ever seen Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid?" Ray pauses in his quest to find something worthwhile on the television and turns to look at me.
"You know that I have." Ray makes a slight "hmph" noise and his eyes go back to the screen. He's hunched forward on the sofa, and I become aware of how he is very much on edge this evening. He seems to twitch without moving at all.
I lay the book I was reading down and nudge him with my foot. "Why do you ask?"
"What? Oh, no reason. It's just... there's that whole going all out thing, right? Screw everyone and everything but your partner. Doing something reckless. Going on an adventure..."
"Dying in a hail of gunfire," I finish for him wryly. He frowns at the television, my attempt at humor having failed.
"Right," Ray sighs before falling silent again.
I like to think that I know Ray, that I understand him, but I must admit to being baffled. I wonder at how being a detective in Chicago can ever not be an adventure.
"Ray -- "
"There is nothing on TV, Fraser," he abruptly announces before shoving me back against the sofa cushions and landing heavily upon my thighs, groin to groin. I consider pushing him away and continuing with the conversation, but when he kisses me, I let it slip from my mind.
It's just that I'm sure he's unhappy here. There's no way someone can be this homesick, and not be unhappy. The look he gets in his eye when he starts going on about the sounds and the scenery and how big the sky is up there -- I see that, and I think I get it. Especially because the sky in Chicago seems pretty damn small, I gotta say. But a part of me says fuck it, let him be miserable, long as he doesn't leave.
The day we capture Muldoon is one of the longest I have ever known, and while I feeling nothing but joy about being up north again, I am also exhausted. And after I speak with everyone I need to speak to -- Inspector Thatcher, Sergeant Frobisher, Diefenbaker, and again to Inspector Thatcher -- I head towards the tent where Ray had gone some time before. I expect him to be asleep, but when I pull back the flap, I find that Ray is still awake. He moves over in the sleeping bag to make room as I begin to disrobe down to my long johns. He's been acting strangely all evening, and in the darkness, I cannot tell his mood.
"Are you having trouble falling asleep?" I ask him as I crawl in beside him.
"Maybe," he snaps, and I'm close enough now to see his glare. "You and the Ice Queen get everything out of your system?"
"Ray, surely you are not jealous-- "
"No! I'm not jealous! But she's... she's part of all of this-- …" Ray makes big, sweeping hand gestures that I suppose I am to assume mean all of Canada. "And who the fuck am I?"
"You're being rather ridiculous," I inform him.
"Yeah, that's me. Whatever, Fraser." He rolls over on his side, signifying the end of the discussion, and I lie there and think about ice crevasses and, for some reason, Paul Newman.
Fraser wakes me up in the middle of the night, or at least I think it's the middle of the night, to ask me to go on an adventure with him. He's completely insane, but I'm fine with that. I fuck him to show him just how fine with that I am. If this is where the ride takes me, I'll hang on a little longer.
But right when Fraser's doing something with my ears that makes me feel like I'm gonna come my brains out, I realize that I am done with waiting. No matter what happens next.
As usual, we made a very efficient team on our journey, and I noticed with no small satisfaction that Ray learned quickly how to do most tasks. I had worried that he might not be able to cope with the strenuous conditions and frigid temperatures, but that worry was obviously for nothing. Beyond that, Ray seems more content than I have ever seen him and I wonder if I shouldn't have asked him to be with me here sooner. Perhaps we can negotiate spending a few months of each year in the Territories. Diefenbaker seems to be already on board with the idea.
When we arrive in Tuktoyuktuk, the hotel we check in to is clean, warm and comfortable. It is a most welcome change, and after we shower, Ray collapses onto the bed in a dramatic fashion.
"This is nice, Fraser," he moans in way that reminds me that our sexual opportunities have lessened in the past several weeks. "Let's stay here and never leave."
"Surely not, Ray," I reply with a smile as I sit beside him on the bed. "I imagine that eventually you'd miss Chicago."
He shrugs. "I don't know. It's home, yeah, but I could go anywhere. We could go anywhere, Fraser." He pauses for a moment, before flashing me a flirtatious grin. "I'm adaptable."
"Oh, really?" I raise my eyebrows. "How does Florida sound to you, then?"
"Hey, I could do that! You and me, we could move to Florida, right next to Vecchio and Stella. Swim in the ocean, become one with the dolphins."
"Dolphins?"
"Well, for one thing, dolphins don't get shot at for a living."
"I didn't realize that detective work was becoming an issue for you, Ray."
Ray stops grinning and stands up, running his hands through his hair. "It's not," he tells me with a frustrated sigh. "I'm saying this all wrong. I mean -- I'm just trying to tell you that -- fuck, I have no idea what I'm trying to tell you."
"Ray?"
"Look, Fraser," he interrupts, and gone is any trace of the idle, teasing banter of moments ago. "I know how much of an asshole I can be, believe me. And I've been told I don't get any better as time goes on. But I'm not that bad all of the time, you know? You and me, we get along pretty good, don't we? And the sex, there's the sex, too. We've got that covered." Ray stops and stares at me with a strange combination of hope and despair.
I don't respond right away, mostly because I can hardly believe what he's saying. But the longer I'm silent, the less hopeful his expression becomes, so I pull my self together and stand up, too. Slowly, I take his face in my hands and kiss him as hard and as passionately as I am able.
"I will go anywhere with you, Ray," I enunciate carefully, so there are no misunderstandings. "Anywhere. If you want to stay here, we'll stay here." I kiss him again. "If you want to move to Florida, we'll move to Florida." And again. "We can go to Idaho, even -- "
"I don't want to go to Idaho, Fraser. I hate Idaho." His eyes are wide as they stare into mine and his fingers have curled into my shirt. I can feel him shaking. "I just want to be with you, okay?"
"Ray."
"Yeah?"
"Yes."
His breath comes out in a rush and he buries his face in my neck. I hold him tightly against me and after a moment I don't so much hear him, but I feel him mouthing words against my skin: I love you, I love you, I love you.
**
THIS POLL IS NOW CLOSED. ANY FURTHER VOTES WILL NOT BE COUNTED.
Poll Vote for this story
Author: kristiinthedark
Team: Romance
Prompt: "Dolphins don't get shot at for a living."
Pairing(s): Fraser/Kowalski
Length: 1900 words
Rating: R
Warnings: None
Summary: Ray's along for the ride, as long as it lasts.
Once you've read the story, please take a moment to vote in the poll below. Ratings go from 1 (low) to 9 (high), so all you need to do is enter a single number in that range into each text entry box. You'll be able to see the Prompt and Team (Genre) information in the header above.
More details about the voting procedure can be found here.
**
First time Fraser kissed me, it wasn't that different from when he punched me. I'd been wanting it, needing it, probably asking for it, but dreading it at the same time. And when it happened, when he leaned across the front seat of the GTO right there in front of the Consulate, and took my mouth with his, hot and wet and greedy, like it was something that had always been his to take, it also felt so goddamn final. Because that's what happens when lines are crossed, right? Things... change, and there ain't no going back to the way the way it was before. So I figured maybe that was the end of everything. No more partnership and no more friendship.
Since then, I've been waiting. Enjoying the ride while it lasts, but still just waiting. Every now and then, he'll wanna talk about what comes next, but I can't bring myself to just yet. Because I know it's probably only a matter of time before he looks at me, really looks at me, and comes to his senses. Moves back to Northwest Areas, or wherever, and me and Fraser will be over.
The days are routine for us, myself and Ray. In the beginning, we would awaken together in a tangle of sleepy limbs on Ray's bed, still relaxed from the previous night's sex, only to reach for each other all over again. Now, I'm usually out of bed first. I used to go so far as shower and get dressed, but now I simply make his coffee and my tea in the kitchen I've become quite accustomed to before going to wake him. I've learned to allow for extra time in the morning, because he will barely open his eyes before he pulls me back down onto the bed with him.
He wraps himself around me then, until there is no room between us and I can barely breathe. I really don't mind, though. Ray doesn't express any interest in discussing our future together, -- in fact, he changes the subject whenever I mention it --- but the way he touches me tells me all I need to know. So I let him pin me down; I let him make me sweat and moan and beg for him. And when he pushes his strong, hard body into mine, I never feel quite so close to him as I do then. I never feel quite so possessed. I find myself liking that feeling quite well.
Sometimes, being with Fraser sucks. Don't get me wrong -- the sex is good enough. Aw, hell, the sex is fantastic. Best ever. What he does to me with his cock and his mouth makes me come so hard I can't hardly see straight. Or the way he shoves his fingers inside of me with one hand, while he plays with my nipples with the other -- I'm pretty sure that's gotta be illegal somewhere, because things that feel that amazing usually are.
But then there's Fraser being, well... Fraser. He's picky and stubborn and he pouts when he's mad like nobody I've ever seen. And, of course, there's the whole correcting me thing, which drives me absolutely up the fucking wall, especially because he’s right most of the time. That's not the worst thing, though. The worst thing is, when he starts talking about Canada, he stops using the word "we" and starts using "I." As in, "I miss the way snow from home smells, Ray. I miss the way it tastes."
I hate it when he does that. I hate it so fucking much.
"Hey, Frase, you ever seen Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid?" Ray pauses in his quest to find something worthwhile on the television and turns to look at me.
"You know that I have." Ray makes a slight "hmph" noise and his eyes go back to the screen. He's hunched forward on the sofa, and I become aware of how he is very much on edge this evening. He seems to twitch without moving at all.
I lay the book I was reading down and nudge him with my foot. "Why do you ask?"
"What? Oh, no reason. It's just... there's that whole going all out thing, right? Screw everyone and everything but your partner. Doing something reckless. Going on an adventure..."
"Dying in a hail of gunfire," I finish for him wryly. He frowns at the television, my attempt at humor having failed.
"Right," Ray sighs before falling silent again.
I like to think that I know Ray, that I understand him, but I must admit to being baffled. I wonder at how being a detective in Chicago can ever not be an adventure.
"Ray -- "
"There is nothing on TV, Fraser," he abruptly announces before shoving me back against the sofa cushions and landing heavily upon my thighs, groin to groin. I consider pushing him away and continuing with the conversation, but when he kisses me, I let it slip from my mind.
It's just that I'm sure he's unhappy here. There's no way someone can be this homesick, and not be unhappy. The look he gets in his eye when he starts going on about the sounds and the scenery and how big the sky is up there -- I see that, and I think I get it. Especially because the sky in Chicago seems pretty damn small, I gotta say. But a part of me says fuck it, let him be miserable, long as he doesn't leave.
The day we capture Muldoon is one of the longest I have ever known, and while I feeling nothing but joy about being up north again, I am also exhausted. And after I speak with everyone I need to speak to -- Inspector Thatcher, Sergeant Frobisher, Diefenbaker, and again to Inspector Thatcher -- I head towards the tent where Ray had gone some time before. I expect him to be asleep, but when I pull back the flap, I find that Ray is still awake. He moves over in the sleeping bag to make room as I begin to disrobe down to my long johns. He's been acting strangely all evening, and in the darkness, I cannot tell his mood.
"Are you having trouble falling asleep?" I ask him as I crawl in beside him.
"Maybe," he snaps, and I'm close enough now to see his glare. "You and the Ice Queen get everything out of your system?"
"Ray, surely you are not jealous-- "
"No! I'm not jealous! But she's... she's part of all of this-- …" Ray makes big, sweeping hand gestures that I suppose I am to assume mean all of Canada. "And who the fuck am I?"
"You're being rather ridiculous," I inform him.
"Yeah, that's me. Whatever, Fraser." He rolls over on his side, signifying the end of the discussion, and I lie there and think about ice crevasses and, for some reason, Paul Newman.
Fraser wakes me up in the middle of the night, or at least I think it's the middle of the night, to ask me to go on an adventure with him. He's completely insane, but I'm fine with that. I fuck him to show him just how fine with that I am. If this is where the ride takes me, I'll hang on a little longer.
But right when Fraser's doing something with my ears that makes me feel like I'm gonna come my brains out, I realize that I am done with waiting. No matter what happens next.
As usual, we made a very efficient team on our journey, and I noticed with no small satisfaction that Ray learned quickly how to do most tasks. I had worried that he might not be able to cope with the strenuous conditions and frigid temperatures, but that worry was obviously for nothing. Beyond that, Ray seems more content than I have ever seen him and I wonder if I shouldn't have asked him to be with me here sooner. Perhaps we can negotiate spending a few months of each year in the Territories. Diefenbaker seems to be already on board with the idea.
When we arrive in Tuktoyuktuk, the hotel we check in to is clean, warm and comfortable. It is a most welcome change, and after we shower, Ray collapses onto the bed in a dramatic fashion.
"This is nice, Fraser," he moans in way that reminds me that our sexual opportunities have lessened in the past several weeks. "Let's stay here and never leave."
"Surely not, Ray," I reply with a smile as I sit beside him on the bed. "I imagine that eventually you'd miss Chicago."
He shrugs. "I don't know. It's home, yeah, but I could go anywhere. We could go anywhere, Fraser." He pauses for a moment, before flashing me a flirtatious grin. "I'm adaptable."
"Oh, really?" I raise my eyebrows. "How does Florida sound to you, then?"
"Hey, I could do that! You and me, we could move to Florida, right next to Vecchio and Stella. Swim in the ocean, become one with the dolphins."
"Dolphins?"
"Well, for one thing, dolphins don't get shot at for a living."
"I didn't realize that detective work was becoming an issue for you, Ray."
Ray stops grinning and stands up, running his hands through his hair. "It's not," he tells me with a frustrated sigh. "I'm saying this all wrong. I mean -- I'm just trying to tell you that -- fuck, I have no idea what I'm trying to tell you."
"Ray?"
"Look, Fraser," he interrupts, and gone is any trace of the idle, teasing banter of moments ago. "I know how much of an asshole I can be, believe me. And I've been told I don't get any better as time goes on. But I'm not that bad all of the time, you know? You and me, we get along pretty good, don't we? And the sex, there's the sex, too. We've got that covered." Ray stops and stares at me with a strange combination of hope and despair.
I don't respond right away, mostly because I can hardly believe what he's saying. But the longer I'm silent, the less hopeful his expression becomes, so I pull my self together and stand up, too. Slowly, I take his face in my hands and kiss him as hard and as passionately as I am able.
"I will go anywhere with you, Ray," I enunciate carefully, so there are no misunderstandings. "Anywhere. If you want to stay here, we'll stay here." I kiss him again. "If you want to move to Florida, we'll move to Florida." And again. "We can go to Idaho, even -- "
"I don't want to go to Idaho, Fraser. I hate Idaho." His eyes are wide as they stare into mine and his fingers have curled into my shirt. I can feel him shaking. "I just want to be with you, okay?"
"Ray."
"Yeah?"
"Yes."
His breath comes out in a rush and he buries his face in my neck. I hold him tightly against me and after a moment I don't so much hear him, but I feel him mouthing words against my skin: I love you, I love you, I love you.
**
THIS POLL IS NOW CLOSED. ANY FURTHER VOTES WILL NOT BE COUNTED.
Poll Vote for this story