Comments | ds_flashfiction: First line festival challenge by nos4a2no9

nos4a2no9 in ds_flashfiction

First line festival challenge by nos4a2no9

May 19, 2007 20:08

Title: Now Lie in It
Author: nos4a2no9
Pairing: Ray/Ray (with mentions of F/V, F/K and F/V/K)
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 4200 on the button
Notes: Many thanks to the wonderful jamethiel_bane for a swift and thorough beta. She saved me from POV slip-ups and talked me out of putting everything in italics. And to china_shop, who many moons ago supplied me with a prompt for a F/K/V ( Read more... )

first-line festival

Comments 34

_divya_ May 20 2007, 00:49:44 UTC

Fraser and his goddamn broken things.

::FLAILS:: Yep. Awesome, harsh, perfect, this whole thing. Thank you for this!

nos4a2no9 May 20 2007, 03:24:41 UTC

Thank you! This story was tough to write until I cam up with that, and then everything flowed easily. Fraser. *shakes head*

sparkythegeek May 20 2007, 01:21:36 UTC

I don't even know this show/comic (?) at all. But your fic leaves me languid.

Haha.

nos4a2no9 May 20 2007, 03:22:41 UTC

Languid? You're a weird cookie! :-) Thanks for reading even though you haven't yet experienced the wonderful weirdness that is due South (which I think you'd like, if you go in for fish-out-of-water stories.)

ruthless1 May 20 2007, 01:33:07 UTC

Gulp. That was harsh! But really good. And I can totally see how it would happen like that. I can never see these two getting along at all. You did a great job with this. I like how you wove the 'mistake' all the way through the story. I have no vocabulary today it seems. So it's down to 'me like your story!'
*shakes head at self sadly*

nos4a2no9 May 20 2007, 03:30:12 UTC

Thank you very much! I am on NyQuil right now, so "me like your story" seems like a very sophisticated and layered comment and I love you mightily for it. Also I'm so glad you liked the "mistake" thing. Which wasn't really subtle, but then Ray/Ray don't *do* subtle.

ruthless1 May 20 2007, 03:47:23 UTC

Well then - nyquil good, cold bad. Story still good.

keerawa May 20 2007, 02:48:32 UTC

"No fucking way. Over the counter here or in the living room. This isn't-"

But Ray didn't have words for what this was. Except a fucked-up mistake. Or revenge, maybe, if he could decide who it was he was trying to hurt.

Damn. Yow. This is one fucked up scenario. Not jealous at all, right. What the hell was Vecchio thinking? Very, very well-written.

nos4a2no9 May 20 2007, 03:35:27 UTC

Ray/Ray seems a little fucked up from the start, unless much more talented authors than yours truly get their hands on them and then they can be complex and compelling instead of big anger balls bashing against one another. I'm so glad the impulse to hurt one another didn't overshadow the guilt/jealousy feelings Ray is dealing with - I was nervous about posting because it's painful to see characters deliberately set out to hurt one another. Your comment has made me feel a little more confident. *hugs you*

tealc_spoo May 20 2007, 03:17:53 UTC

...okay, i'm just going to shove aside the whole speech about how I don't read Ray/Ray ( ... )

nos4a2no9 May 20 2007, 04:04:42 UTC

...okay, i'm just going to shove aside the whole speech about how I don't read Ray/Ray...

*g* You're not alone in that one, and I'm glad you decided to give the pairing a try even if I'm not exactly showing them at their best.

Somehow you sold me on every bit of Ray in this, I think if it were just the idea of Fraser sleeping with Vecchio while still in a relationship with Ray, then I would've walked away and never looked back.

I don't blame you - it was tough to place Fraser in that position, but exploring Ray's reactions to his infidelity was too good to resist.

I honestly don't get Vecchio's agenda in this though, it almost comes across as though he's playing Ray vs. Fraser. Which is depressing because the way it's going, Vecchio is going to win hands down. And I like Vecchio, but my sympathy goes 100% to Ray here, I've been in that place where you're hurt so bad by the person you love, you just lash out and make a mistake.Oh, Vecchio. He's on a self-destruct course here and he's creating fractures in Kowalski's previously ( ... )