Depot Challenge - A Friend by Aingeal
This hopefully fits into the challenge. It does have some time at Regina. It was written in two hours flat and it is un-betaed. Let me know what you think....
Title: A Friend
Genre: slash
Pairings: Fraser/other, Fraser/Vecchio
Rating: PG
Word Count: 2772 (it could have been a lot longer ;-)
Summary: Fraser reminisces about his time at Depot and finds parallels between then and now.
A Friend
Fraser stood up a little straighter as he entered what would be his home for the next six months, the RCMP depot at Regina. It was just as he had expected it and even without a map he was able to name each of the buildings and their respective uses. He could easily navigate to where he wanted to go. He had heard so much from his father and his father’s friends on the force it felt as if he had already been here.
His feet pounded the concrete as he made his way to report as a cadet for the first time. He was slightly nervous, it was to be expected. He was the second member of his family to pass through those gates; it was something he had wanted to do ever since he was a child. In fact he couldn’t imagine ever wanting to do anything else.
Part of Fraser wished his father could be here to see him off as he had seen happen to some of the other cadets. Admittedly he was an adult and perfectly capable of taking care of himself but it would have been nice to have a few final words of encouragement from his father. Fraser knew his father was busy with work but he couldn’t help but feel a pang of homesickness.
Regina wasn’t like home and the depot certainly wasn’t. The buildings here loomed large like gargantuans rising from a grey sea. They didn’t have the same familiarity of a small log cabin. He briefly thought about his grandparents. His grandfather had been ill for some time and his grandmother had spent months nursing him. Fraser wondered if he would see his grandfather alive again but he had been told that it would be alright and no doubt if things got bad he would have the chance to visit.
So he felt very confident when he walked into the office and said the words he had been rehearsing ever since he had been accepted. “Cadet Fraser reporting for duty, sir.”
For the first three weeks everything was a jumble. Fraser excelled in both the academic work and the physical tests. He found eh was able to out into use the methods that he had been practising at home in the territories. He remembered his father’s advice on a variety of subjects and was able to impress his instructors with it. In his spare time he read up on a various police procedures but there was a problem.
Fraser was also battling his feelings of isolation by focussing on his work. The cadets had come from all over the country but in the particular batch Fraser found himself in there was no-one from as far north as he was. Most had come from a more urban background and most were older than him having duly completed University and gaining degrees. Fraser felt more and more out of place a boy from the backwoods so to speak. Here no- one knew his father’s achievements or the culture of the Inuit which had been as large a part in Fraser’s upbringing as the white culture.
Of course Fraser put on a brave face and tried to deal with his feelings as best he could. He focussed on what was important to him, knowing he could get through it. He never let onto his father or grandparents what he was struggling with. He felt homesick every time he saw an ice-cube as it reminded him of a glacier. He spent most of his time alone, feeling he had no other choice.
That was until one mealtime three weeks into the training when another young cadet came up to his patently empty part of the table.
“Excuse me,” he said. “Is anyone sitting here/” he indicated the seat next to Fraser.
Slightly taken aback Fraser paused for a moment unsure of what to say. “Er, no, no-one’s sitting there. You’re quite welcome to it.”
“Thanks,” the young man grinned and took up his seat. He was quite tall, about Fraser’s height. He had brown hair which in the artificial light had a ginger hue. He had a few freckles which gave him a more boyish appearance than his manner suggested. He had hazel eyes and was quite lanky of his age though Fraser suspected that belied a physical prowess.
“Must be a bit lonely down here all by yourself,” the stranger said.
Fraser glanced at the empty spaces around him. A silence which was in stark contrast to the cheerful chatter going on at the other end of the table.
“It isn’t so bad,” he said straining to smile and put a brave face on proceedings.
“Yeah,” the stranger said, not pushing a young man he could tell liked his own company. “I’m Steve by the way, Steve McKinley.” He held his hand out as a gesture of friendship.
Fraser took the hand without hesitation, clinging to it as one might a lifeline. “Benton Fraser,” he replied, slightly more confident.
“Benton?” Steve asked quizzically. “What do your friends call you?”
Fraser knew his first name was a bit trickier to deal with than his surname so he answered the question truthfully. “Fraser.”
“Fraser?”
The Fraser in question nodded.
“Okay,” Steve said. “So, Fraser, where are you from?”
“The Northwest territories,” he replied. “At present my grandparents live in Inuvik.”
“Inuvik? Wow and I thought was going to be the cadet from the north but you have me beat.”
“Where abouts are you from?” Fraser asked hopeful there was someone who could relate to where he was from.
“Whitehorse,” Steve grinned. “You’ve heard of it?”
“Oh yes in fact my father tracked several men to Whitehorse.”
“Tracked?”
“Yes,” Fraser replied. “He’s a Mountie.”
Steve looked thoughtful for a minute. “Wait a minute…Constable Bob Fraser?”
Fraser practically beamed at the mention of his father’s name. “You’ve heard of him?”
“Who hasn’t? The guy’s a local legend. Tracking a man across 500 miles and bringing him back alive in the middle of winter…I mean wow.”
Fraser was never prouder of his father than at that moment when a practical stranger mentioned his name in the dining hall of the depot at Regina. All the slight hurt at his father not saying good goodbye evaporated in that moment.
“Guess that’s you want to become a Mountie huh?”
“Yes, ever since I was a little boy.”
“I wasn’t sure,” Steve said. “But then I thought this was my chance to do something, you know, something good with my life. Heck I couldn’t finish college so I applied. I’m a bit late starting training. They wanted me to wait for the next intake but I begged and pleaded and they squeezed me in this one. Got a bit of catching up to do.”
“Maybe I can help,” Fraser said.
“That’d be great.”
For the remainder of their mealtime the two young men talked about everything from their families to their pasts to what tasks they would be facing during the rest of their training. Fraser found himself striking up a good camaraderie with Steve who quickly started calling Fraser, Ben. In fact Fraser couldn’t remember having a person who he could relate so well.
The young men certainly bonded and would spend all the time they could together. One day after a hectic physical training session Steve declared Ben his best friend, this pleased Fraser immensely. He hadn’t had a best friend for years and certainly no-one like Steve. Steve was generous and kind and had made it his mission in life to befriend Fraser, of which Fraser was truly grateful.
It was four months later, as they were coming to an end of their training that Fraser received the news he had feared he would ever since he had come to Regina. He had been told in a not unsympathetic tone by their superior officer one morning before breakfast. He had made it through most of the day before finally it got too much.
During the free time the cadets had each evening Fraser made his way back to barracks alone, not telling anyone where he was going. He simply sat on his bed in silence and reflected on the day’s events. He was sure everyone would leave him alone but then he had forgotten about Steve.
Steve in his typical way had noticed Fraser’s absence and had gone to find him. He made his way to barracks knowing that if Fraser was going to choose a place to be alone that would be it.
Fraser heard the door creak as Steve entered. He had his back to the door but he could make out each footstep, each breath as Steve made his way toward Fraser. The place was dark the only light coming in from the light spilling out of the other buildings, shining through the windows.
Fraser felt a slight shift in the bunk as Steve sat down.
“Hey, what are doing in here,” Steve asked. “You okay?”
“Not exactly,” Fraser said not daring to meet Steve’s eyes. He looked at the floor, dark and comforting. He felt Steve’s arm fall across companionably across his shoulder.
“My Grandfather died yesterday,” he said, fighting back the tears which had been threatening to flow all night. It had been such a long time since he had last had to face death and yet again a relative had died when he wasn’t there, when he never got to say goodbye.
“Ben, I’m sorry,” Steve whispered as he took Fraser into an embrace and hugged him tight. “They wouldn’t let you go home?”
Fraser felt funny. It wasn’t as if Steve had never hugged him before, he had many times. But now with his emotions so close to the surface, Fraser felt intense, he heard himself sobbing into the shoulder of his friend. He heard Steve’s heart as well as his own, pounding hard in his ears. He pulled back from the embrace to look Steve in the eye.
“My Grandmother didn’t tell me, she didn’t want to interrupt my training. It was my father’s suggestion to tell me. He thought I could handle myself. I’m not doing a very good job.”
“You’re doing a fine job,” Steve said. “I mean I had no idea when you were so quiet in the seminar today and you got top marks on the assault course. I don’t know if I could be as strong as you.” Steve’s voice was gentle and sincere.
Fraser’s voice became low. “Perhaps you’re right,” he said as he slowly found himself drawn himself to Steve.
“I’m always right,” Steve whispered wiping the moisture that had formed on Fraser’s face, brushing away the few tears Fraser had hardly been aware he had shed.
“Yes,” Fraser whispered closing the distance between his lips and Steve’s. “You’re always right.”
In the next moment he had pressed his lips and he was sure Steve moaned, deepening the kiss. Fraser had kissed so few people in his life he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to be doing. He just held on, not wanting this to end. Steve’s hands were tangled in his hair and his arms were wrapped tightly around Steve. Then the kiss became very intense as they revelled in being with each other. It was a stunningly perfect moment, a moment of love shining through his grief.
Fraser was unaware how much time had passed but Steve pulled away first. He was gently caressing Fraser’s cheek. “Listen, Ben, this isn’t the right time, you’re not thinking right.”
Fraser was about to reply but Steve’s finger on his lips kept him silent. “Shhh it isn’t a good time right now and you know it. Look when you’re not so shook up, when we don’t have the risk of a superior walking in we’ll try this again okay?”
Fraser knew Steve was right and nodded silently. He wasn’t sure what he was feeling now. He had always known he had a strong camaraderie with Steve but this, this was beyond he had imagined he needed to reflect on this.
Steve smiled as he got up. When he did he took a minute to ponder Fraser. Fraser felt naked even though he was fully clothed. Steve leaned down and briefly kissed Fraser again. “I promise we’ll talk some more.”
Steve left Fraser alone in his thoughts, touching his lips and trying to figure out what he had just done, what he had just felt. He never found any answers the rest of the time he was in depot and he never felt able to talk to Steve. The time never felt right. All he had was the memory if that one kiss, a kiss he couldn’t rationalise and that scared him.
*********************************************************************
Sixteen years later Benton Fraser was looking at the photograph of his graduation. He was there with all the other cadets looking proud. He had Steve next to him. That had been the last time they had really seen each other. Steve had tried to talk but Fraser had shut him out refusing to deal with his emotions. He had seen how disappointed Steve was when it was when he had told him.
Their posts took them far apart. They made the odd phone call, tried to arrange the odd meet up but somehow it had never seemed the right time. Then Steve had been killed on duty while stopping a robber. That had been Steve, heroic to the last. Fraser had gone to the funeral, never able to say the words that had been in his heart to Steve while he was alive; he had whispered them at his graveside, hoping Steve would forgive him.
Fraser’s attention turned back to what he had to do today. He glanced around the apartment, so bare it was very like the conditions at the depot and just like at the depot he had a best friend only now his name was Ray Vecchio. Fraser was waiting now for that friend to pick him up.
Fraser heard the hum of Riveria outside and placed the photograph back into the trunk where he had been keeping it. He needed to remind himself that sometimes you have to seize on a moment before it was too late and not be afraid of his feelings.
“Hey, Benny,” Ray said cheerfully as he wandered into the never locked apartment. “You ready to go?”
Fraser stood up from where he had been bent over, closing the trunk as he did so. “Yes, Ray but first,” Fraser walked up Ray, coming so close he could feel his breath. “I have something I have to tell you.”
Ray looked puzzled. “Oh?”
Fraser nodded and just he had all those years ago pressed to his lips to another man’s, to the lips of his best friend. For a moment Ray was in shock but then slowly he deepened the kiss just as Steve had but this wasn’t Steve, Fraser had lost that chance. Now he had a new chance and he took it. He let his heart guide him. As Ray pulled away from the kiss he had a million questions on his tongue.
“I love you, Ray,” Fraser whispered.
Ray smiled. “I love you too.” And their kissing started up all over again.
Sometime later they realised they were both going to be late for work. They lay in Fraser’s rather cramped bed, naked gently holding each other and just basking in the glow of new lovers.
“Benny? What made you decide to tell me?”
“Steve,” Fraser replied.
“You called me Steve in the woods,” Ray said. “Did you…do...this with him?”
“No, Ray, but when I was at the depot in Regina Steve and I became close but I was a coward. He died years ago and I never told him. After I called you Steve it brought it back to me. I felt alone while I was training and Steve gave me friendship. You’ve done the same in Chicago.”
“I have?”
“Yes, Ray and I didn’t want to lose that a second time.”
As Ray kissed him again Fraser knew that while he regretted what he had not been able to have with Steve he had something just good now. He had a best friend, he had a lover and they were the same person. He had found someone to help me and support him. Fraser looked back at the nervous young man whose ambition was to be a Mountie and found he had everything in life he aspired to in a bare apartment in a country far from home.
Title: A Friend
Genre: slash
Pairings: Fraser/other, Fraser/Vecchio
Rating: PG
Word Count: 2772 (it could have been a lot longer ;-)
Summary: Fraser reminisces about his time at Depot and finds parallels between then and now.
A Friend
Fraser stood up a little straighter as he entered what would be his home for the next six months, the RCMP depot at Regina. It was just as he had expected it and even without a map he was able to name each of the buildings and their respective uses. He could easily navigate to where he wanted to go. He had heard so much from his father and his father’s friends on the force it felt as if he had already been here.
His feet pounded the concrete as he made his way to report as a cadet for the first time. He was slightly nervous, it was to be expected. He was the second member of his family to pass through those gates; it was something he had wanted to do ever since he was a child. In fact he couldn’t imagine ever wanting to do anything else.
Part of Fraser wished his father could be here to see him off as he had seen happen to some of the other cadets. Admittedly he was an adult and perfectly capable of taking care of himself but it would have been nice to have a few final words of encouragement from his father. Fraser knew his father was busy with work but he couldn’t help but feel a pang of homesickness.
Regina wasn’t like home and the depot certainly wasn’t. The buildings here loomed large like gargantuans rising from a grey sea. They didn’t have the same familiarity of a small log cabin. He briefly thought about his grandparents. His grandfather had been ill for some time and his grandmother had spent months nursing him. Fraser wondered if he would see his grandfather alive again but he had been told that it would be alright and no doubt if things got bad he would have the chance to visit.
So he felt very confident when he walked into the office and said the words he had been rehearsing ever since he had been accepted. “Cadet Fraser reporting for duty, sir.”
For the first three weeks everything was a jumble. Fraser excelled in both the academic work and the physical tests. He found eh was able to out into use the methods that he had been practising at home in the territories. He remembered his father’s advice on a variety of subjects and was able to impress his instructors with it. In his spare time he read up on a various police procedures but there was a problem.
Fraser was also battling his feelings of isolation by focussing on his work. The cadets had come from all over the country but in the particular batch Fraser found himself in there was no-one from as far north as he was. Most had come from a more urban background and most were older than him having duly completed University and gaining degrees. Fraser felt more and more out of place a boy from the backwoods so to speak. Here no- one knew his father’s achievements or the culture of the Inuit which had been as large a part in Fraser’s upbringing as the white culture.
Of course Fraser put on a brave face and tried to deal with his feelings as best he could. He focussed on what was important to him, knowing he could get through it. He never let onto his father or grandparents what he was struggling with. He felt homesick every time he saw an ice-cube as it reminded him of a glacier. He spent most of his time alone, feeling he had no other choice.
That was until one mealtime three weeks into the training when another young cadet came up to his patently empty part of the table.
“Excuse me,” he said. “Is anyone sitting here/” he indicated the seat next to Fraser.
Slightly taken aback Fraser paused for a moment unsure of what to say. “Er, no, no-one’s sitting there. You’re quite welcome to it.”
“Thanks,” the young man grinned and took up his seat. He was quite tall, about Fraser’s height. He had brown hair which in the artificial light had a ginger hue. He had a few freckles which gave him a more boyish appearance than his manner suggested. He had hazel eyes and was quite lanky of his age though Fraser suspected that belied a physical prowess.
“Must be a bit lonely down here all by yourself,” the stranger said.
Fraser glanced at the empty spaces around him. A silence which was in stark contrast to the cheerful chatter going on at the other end of the table.
“It isn’t so bad,” he said straining to smile and put a brave face on proceedings.
“Yeah,” the stranger said, not pushing a young man he could tell liked his own company. “I’m Steve by the way, Steve McKinley.” He held his hand out as a gesture of friendship.
Fraser took the hand without hesitation, clinging to it as one might a lifeline. “Benton Fraser,” he replied, slightly more confident.
“Benton?” Steve asked quizzically. “What do your friends call you?”
Fraser knew his first name was a bit trickier to deal with than his surname so he answered the question truthfully. “Fraser.”
“Fraser?”
The Fraser in question nodded.
“Okay,” Steve said. “So, Fraser, where are you from?”
“The Northwest territories,” he replied. “At present my grandparents live in Inuvik.”
“Inuvik? Wow and I thought was going to be the cadet from the north but you have me beat.”
“Where abouts are you from?” Fraser asked hopeful there was someone who could relate to where he was from.
“Whitehorse,” Steve grinned. “You’ve heard of it?”
“Oh yes in fact my father tracked several men to Whitehorse.”
“Tracked?”
“Yes,” Fraser replied. “He’s a Mountie.”
Steve looked thoughtful for a minute. “Wait a minute…Constable Bob Fraser?”
Fraser practically beamed at the mention of his father’s name. “You’ve heard of him?”
“Who hasn’t? The guy’s a local legend. Tracking a man across 500 miles and bringing him back alive in the middle of winter…I mean wow.”
Fraser was never prouder of his father than at that moment when a practical stranger mentioned his name in the dining hall of the depot at Regina. All the slight hurt at his father not saying good goodbye evaporated in that moment.
“Guess that’s you want to become a Mountie huh?”
“Yes, ever since I was a little boy.”
“I wasn’t sure,” Steve said. “But then I thought this was my chance to do something, you know, something good with my life. Heck I couldn’t finish college so I applied. I’m a bit late starting training. They wanted me to wait for the next intake but I begged and pleaded and they squeezed me in this one. Got a bit of catching up to do.”
“Maybe I can help,” Fraser said.
“That’d be great.”
For the remainder of their mealtime the two young men talked about everything from their families to their pasts to what tasks they would be facing during the rest of their training. Fraser found himself striking up a good camaraderie with Steve who quickly started calling Fraser, Ben. In fact Fraser couldn’t remember having a person who he could relate so well.
The young men certainly bonded and would spend all the time they could together. One day after a hectic physical training session Steve declared Ben his best friend, this pleased Fraser immensely. He hadn’t had a best friend for years and certainly no-one like Steve. Steve was generous and kind and had made it his mission in life to befriend Fraser, of which Fraser was truly grateful.
It was four months later, as they were coming to an end of their training that Fraser received the news he had feared he would ever since he had come to Regina. He had been told in a not unsympathetic tone by their superior officer one morning before breakfast. He had made it through most of the day before finally it got too much.
During the free time the cadets had each evening Fraser made his way back to barracks alone, not telling anyone where he was going. He simply sat on his bed in silence and reflected on the day’s events. He was sure everyone would leave him alone but then he had forgotten about Steve.
Steve in his typical way had noticed Fraser’s absence and had gone to find him. He made his way to barracks knowing that if Fraser was going to choose a place to be alone that would be it.
Fraser heard the door creak as Steve entered. He had his back to the door but he could make out each footstep, each breath as Steve made his way toward Fraser. The place was dark the only light coming in from the light spilling out of the other buildings, shining through the windows.
Fraser felt a slight shift in the bunk as Steve sat down.
“Hey, what are doing in here,” Steve asked. “You okay?”
“Not exactly,” Fraser said not daring to meet Steve’s eyes. He looked at the floor, dark and comforting. He felt Steve’s arm fall across companionably across his shoulder.
“My Grandfather died yesterday,” he said, fighting back the tears which had been threatening to flow all night. It had been such a long time since he had last had to face death and yet again a relative had died when he wasn’t there, when he never got to say goodbye.
“Ben, I’m sorry,” Steve whispered as he took Fraser into an embrace and hugged him tight. “They wouldn’t let you go home?”
Fraser felt funny. It wasn’t as if Steve had never hugged him before, he had many times. But now with his emotions so close to the surface, Fraser felt intense, he heard himself sobbing into the shoulder of his friend. He heard Steve’s heart as well as his own, pounding hard in his ears. He pulled back from the embrace to look Steve in the eye.
“My Grandmother didn’t tell me, she didn’t want to interrupt my training. It was my father’s suggestion to tell me. He thought I could handle myself. I’m not doing a very good job.”
“You’re doing a fine job,” Steve said. “I mean I had no idea when you were so quiet in the seminar today and you got top marks on the assault course. I don’t know if I could be as strong as you.” Steve’s voice was gentle and sincere.
Fraser’s voice became low. “Perhaps you’re right,” he said as he slowly found himself drawn himself to Steve.
“I’m always right,” Steve whispered wiping the moisture that had formed on Fraser’s face, brushing away the few tears Fraser had hardly been aware he had shed.
“Yes,” Fraser whispered closing the distance between his lips and Steve’s. “You’re always right.”
In the next moment he had pressed his lips and he was sure Steve moaned, deepening the kiss. Fraser had kissed so few people in his life he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to be doing. He just held on, not wanting this to end. Steve’s hands were tangled in his hair and his arms were wrapped tightly around Steve. Then the kiss became very intense as they revelled in being with each other. It was a stunningly perfect moment, a moment of love shining through his grief.
Fraser was unaware how much time had passed but Steve pulled away first. He was gently caressing Fraser’s cheek. “Listen, Ben, this isn’t the right time, you’re not thinking right.”
Fraser was about to reply but Steve’s finger on his lips kept him silent. “Shhh it isn’t a good time right now and you know it. Look when you’re not so shook up, when we don’t have the risk of a superior walking in we’ll try this again okay?”
Fraser knew Steve was right and nodded silently. He wasn’t sure what he was feeling now. He had always known he had a strong camaraderie with Steve but this, this was beyond he had imagined he needed to reflect on this.
Steve smiled as he got up. When he did he took a minute to ponder Fraser. Fraser felt naked even though he was fully clothed. Steve leaned down and briefly kissed Fraser again. “I promise we’ll talk some more.”
Steve left Fraser alone in his thoughts, touching his lips and trying to figure out what he had just done, what he had just felt. He never found any answers the rest of the time he was in depot and he never felt able to talk to Steve. The time never felt right. All he had was the memory if that one kiss, a kiss he couldn’t rationalise and that scared him.
*********************************************************************
Sixteen years later Benton Fraser was looking at the photograph of his graduation. He was there with all the other cadets looking proud. He had Steve next to him. That had been the last time they had really seen each other. Steve had tried to talk but Fraser had shut him out refusing to deal with his emotions. He had seen how disappointed Steve was when it was when he had told him.
Their posts took them far apart. They made the odd phone call, tried to arrange the odd meet up but somehow it had never seemed the right time. Then Steve had been killed on duty while stopping a robber. That had been Steve, heroic to the last. Fraser had gone to the funeral, never able to say the words that had been in his heart to Steve while he was alive; he had whispered them at his graveside, hoping Steve would forgive him.
Fraser’s attention turned back to what he had to do today. He glanced around the apartment, so bare it was very like the conditions at the depot and just like at the depot he had a best friend only now his name was Ray Vecchio. Fraser was waiting now for that friend to pick him up.
Fraser heard the hum of Riveria outside and placed the photograph back into the trunk where he had been keeping it. He needed to remind himself that sometimes you have to seize on a moment before it was too late and not be afraid of his feelings.
“Hey, Benny,” Ray said cheerfully as he wandered into the never locked apartment. “You ready to go?”
Fraser stood up from where he had been bent over, closing the trunk as he did so. “Yes, Ray but first,” Fraser walked up Ray, coming so close he could feel his breath. “I have something I have to tell you.”
Ray looked puzzled. “Oh?”
Fraser nodded and just he had all those years ago pressed to his lips to another man’s, to the lips of his best friend. For a moment Ray was in shock but then slowly he deepened the kiss just as Steve had but this wasn’t Steve, Fraser had lost that chance. Now he had a new chance and he took it. He let his heart guide him. As Ray pulled away from the kiss he had a million questions on his tongue.
“I love you, Ray,” Fraser whispered.
Ray smiled. “I love you too.” And their kissing started up all over again.
Sometime later they realised they were both going to be late for work. They lay in Fraser’s rather cramped bed, naked gently holding each other and just basking in the glow of new lovers.
“Benny? What made you decide to tell me?”
“Steve,” Fraser replied.
“You called me Steve in the woods,” Ray said. “Did you…do...this with him?”
“No, Ray, but when I was at the depot in Regina Steve and I became close but I was a coward. He died years ago and I never told him. After I called you Steve it brought it back to me. I felt alone while I was training and Steve gave me friendship. You’ve done the same in Chicago.”
“I have?”
“Yes, Ray and I didn’t want to lose that a second time.”
As Ray kissed him again Fraser knew that while he regretted what he had not been able to have with Steve he had something just good now. He had a best friend, he had a lover and they were the same person. He had found someone to help me and support him. Fraser looked back at the nervous young man whose ambition was to be a Mountie and found he had everything in life he aspired to in a bare apartment in a country far from home.