(no subject)
Time is going by so fast. Raiden turned 6 weeks old yesterday. Blah! That makes me want to cry in itself... He's getting so big. That wasn't supposed to happen. He's supposed to stay small forever.....
Let me wake up from my dream before continuing this journal entry.
Ryan is supposed to be leaving for Iraq around the 28th of November. I told him today that he should leave on November 1st. I'm not trying to be mean by that, if he left on the first, he could ride on a boat for a few weeks, and I know he'd like that, and that would mean I could be out of here and home by Christmas. But he said two weeks wasn't long enough to be home, which I understand. Everyone here is going to miss him a lot.
I've been depressed lately. I don't know why. After I had Raiden, within like 2 weeks, I had lost 27 pounds, and I was really motivated and ready to lose more weight. When I weighed myself today, I weigh the EXACT same that I weighed when I got weighed at WIC on September 19th. I was hoping to have lost atleast 5 more pounds. That's not a lot to ask! We have been going out to eat a LOT though, so I'm thinking, with all the going out, that atleast I haven't gained back! We went to the grocery store last night, and I got a few of those lean cuisines, and healthier foods, so we'll see how that goes. I just can't wait to get settled in Georgia, cause as soon as I get his first good paycheck, I'm purchasing a treadmill.... and I will use that sucker every single day of the week if it means that I can drop this extra weight. I never understood why in Alaska, I exercised all the time, and didn't exactly eat the greatest foods, but I ate okay, and I never lost a single pound. NOT ONE. When I had Rayne, I found out (when I had Raiden)... I found out that the surgeon who sewed me up after my C-Section with Rayne sewed my bowel to my uteren wall... so I'm hoping that's why I haven't been able to lose weight. I'm hoping that I'll be able to lose it now.
Ryan and I got into it really bad last night. I'm not even sure why. We're doing okay today, it was just really weird. I think we were both very cranky and needed some sleep. When we woke up today, we were both much happier. It doesn't help that these severe headaches haven't went away. They are soooo painful, how can you expect me to be chipper all the friggin' time with a headache like this?
Anyway, housing came last Wednesday, and fixed just about everything. There is this spot on the counter of the bathroom, that was chipped off, and I asked them to fix that too, and the guy came and said that it wasn't fixable, so I was just facing the fact that that was something else that I'd be paying for, no biggie. Well on Thursday morning, housing office called and asked if I'd be home today, and I said yeah, and they said they'd be here today to take measurements. They're going to replace the whole countertop. I feel bad that they'll have to do all that work, but I can't help thinking that that's one less thing I'll have to pay for when I leave this place....
UGHHHHHHHHHHH. God. Why do men have to be such dicks? I am sooooo sick of feeling like shit. I just got off the phone with Ryan. He wants to go to Six Flags tomorrow. I asked him on Tuesday if we were going this Saturday, cause if we were I'd have to start pumping on that day to have enough by Saturday. He says no we're not going Saturday cause he was supposed to have to work. So I said okay, that I'd start pumping this coming up Monday. Well turns out, he's off tomorrow, and so is the guy we're going with, neither of them have duty, so they want to go tomorrow. And Ryan told me to start pumping. He doesn't understand that it's going to be IMPOSSIBLE to pump atleast SIXTEEN ounces by tomorrow morning. It's just NOT possible, which is why I needed the warning to begin with. I have two cans of formula in my cabinet, he told me to try those, and then pump while he's formula feeding. I told him I'd try it. Then I asked him why can't we just go next weekend, and he said if we don't go tomorrow he's not going PERIOD. WTF. I don't get it.. When he thought he had to work, the 22nd was fine.. but now that he's off, it's no good anymore. Grrr. Whatever, so I said okay, and that I needed to make a phone call, and he gets pissed off and hangs up on me. You'd THINK that by now he'd know after being married to me for so long that that is my ULTIMATE pet peeve is to be hung up on. When someone hangs up on me, that makes me automatically call them back. I know I got on Shay's nerves when I kept calling, but I absolutely cannot tolerate being hung up on. He ended up hanging up on me THREE times total. And making me cry everytime. I honestly believe he likes to make me cry. Anyway... things are okay, and I told him I'd try my hardest to pump that much by tomorrow. Not gonna happen, but I'm going to try. If he can tolerate formula okay, then we're set. But if he won't take it, then we're absolutely not going. Anyway, now that I've gotten that out of me, I feel a lot better. A little red eyed, but a lot better. I know that we're both stressed about him leaving soon, but that is not an excuse for us to fight all the time. It's starting to get old. But I guess I shouldn't complain, cause it just started yesterday.
Well this post is longer than I thought it would be, but that's okay. I needed to get some of this out.
Talk soon
Let me wake up from my dream before continuing this journal entry.
Ryan is supposed to be leaving for Iraq around the 28th of November. I told him today that he should leave on November 1st. I'm not trying to be mean by that, if he left on the first, he could ride on a boat for a few weeks, and I know he'd like that, and that would mean I could be out of here and home by Christmas. But he said two weeks wasn't long enough to be home, which I understand. Everyone here is going to miss him a lot.
I've been depressed lately. I don't know why. After I had Raiden, within like 2 weeks, I had lost 27 pounds, and I was really motivated and ready to lose more weight. When I weighed myself today, I weigh the EXACT same that I weighed when I got weighed at WIC on September 19th. I was hoping to have lost atleast 5 more pounds. That's not a lot to ask! We have been going out to eat a LOT though, so I'm thinking, with all the going out, that atleast I haven't gained back! We went to the grocery store last night, and I got a few of those lean cuisines, and healthier foods, so we'll see how that goes. I just can't wait to get settled in Georgia, cause as soon as I get his first good paycheck, I'm purchasing a treadmill.... and I will use that sucker every single day of the week if it means that I can drop this extra weight. I never understood why in Alaska, I exercised all the time, and didn't exactly eat the greatest foods, but I ate okay, and I never lost a single pound. NOT ONE. When I had Rayne, I found out (when I had Raiden)... I found out that the surgeon who sewed me up after my C-Section with Rayne sewed my bowel to my uteren wall... so I'm hoping that's why I haven't been able to lose weight. I'm hoping that I'll be able to lose it now.
Ryan and I got into it really bad last night. I'm not even sure why. We're doing okay today, it was just really weird. I think we were both very cranky and needed some sleep. When we woke up today, we were both much happier. It doesn't help that these severe headaches haven't went away. They are soooo painful, how can you expect me to be chipper all the friggin' time with a headache like this?
Anyway, housing came last Wednesday, and fixed just about everything. There is this spot on the counter of the bathroom, that was chipped off, and I asked them to fix that too, and the guy came and said that it wasn't fixable, so I was just facing the fact that that was something else that I'd be paying for, no biggie. Well on Thursday morning, housing office called and asked if I'd be home today, and I said yeah, and they said they'd be here today to take measurements. They're going to replace the whole countertop. I feel bad that they'll have to do all that work, but I can't help thinking that that's one less thing I'll have to pay for when I leave this place....
UGHHHHHHHHHHH. God. Why do men have to be such dicks? I am sooooo sick of feeling like shit. I just got off the phone with Ryan. He wants to go to Six Flags tomorrow. I asked him on Tuesday if we were going this Saturday, cause if we were I'd have to start pumping on that day to have enough by Saturday. He says no we're not going Saturday cause he was supposed to have to work. So I said okay, that I'd start pumping this coming up Monday. Well turns out, he's off tomorrow, and so is the guy we're going with, neither of them have duty, so they want to go tomorrow. And Ryan told me to start pumping. He doesn't understand that it's going to be IMPOSSIBLE to pump atleast SIXTEEN ounces by tomorrow morning. It's just NOT possible, which is why I needed the warning to begin with. I have two cans of formula in my cabinet, he told me to try those, and then pump while he's formula feeding. I told him I'd try it. Then I asked him why can't we just go next weekend, and he said if we don't go tomorrow he's not going PERIOD. WTF. I don't get it.. When he thought he had to work, the 22nd was fine.. but now that he's off, it's no good anymore. Grrr. Whatever, so I said okay, and that I needed to make a phone call, and he gets pissed off and hangs up on me. You'd THINK that by now he'd know after being married to me for so long that that is my ULTIMATE pet peeve is to be hung up on. When someone hangs up on me, that makes me automatically call them back. I know I got on Shay's nerves when I kept calling, but I absolutely cannot tolerate being hung up on. He ended up hanging up on me THREE times total. And making me cry everytime. I honestly believe he likes to make me cry. Anyway... things are okay, and I told him I'd try my hardest to pump that much by tomorrow. Not gonna happen, but I'm going to try. If he can tolerate formula okay, then we're set. But if he won't take it, then we're absolutely not going. Anyway, now that I've gotten that out of me, I feel a lot better. A little red eyed, but a lot better. I know that we're both stressed about him leaving soon, but that is not an excuse for us to fight all the time. It's starting to get old. But I guess I shouldn't complain, cause it just started yesterday.
Well this post is longer than I thought it would be, but that's okay. I needed to get some of this out.
Talk soon