*dust your shoulders off
To whom it may concern this is not an entry to hurt feelings or make anyone feel upset this is an entry for me to wash my hands of stress and impurities!
I have dropped some dead weight recently. Weight that had been dragging me down for years but I hadn't noticed it only felt like it was a recent unhappiness as in a matter of months but no it had been going on for a while.
One of my boyfriends that I had for almost 2 years once told me that I complained too much about my friends and how I wish I had better friends, how I wished I had someone like me. How I was lonely because my friends were never there for me. Well I looked closely at that one night recently and figured it that it was more than just one person. I'm not going to name names but I wonder if it was the drugs or the controlling boyfriends that was the ticket that made them change. But even if it was one of those reasons they have changed and they chose to, if they didn't like who they've become then they wouldn't still be that way am I right?
Its so sad you know to see them snorting up that Methadone in their noses. Methadone makes you FAT and UGLY. You can powder your nose and cake on the make-up, flash me those fake smiles but under it all theres a nasty habit that has changed you and made you different in a enormous negative way.
I feel so much better at pushing them away now though, its a fight I won't win even if it's for a good cause. I don't want to change them I want them to want to change themselves. But I can't spend all my time trying to make others happier. Its like being at a middle school dance sitting in the corner with the girl whos crying because someones dancing with her crush, only this time the stakes are higher. Yea thats right this time its like trying to convince your friend to leave her husband who's tried to kill her twice, and he still admits to her that he's fucked someone else but she takes him back. Thats her choice and if she wants to hurt and wants that kind of life good for her I hope she enjoys it. I don't need any of that baggage, I hate seeing her cry I hate the fucking drama I'm better than that. Then heres my other friend who has become a deadbeat that won't even get off her ass from watching a movie that can be paused or re-watched when I, someone that was so close to her needed her help in real life, she tells me "I would but I'm watching a movie." Stop filling your nose with that stupid powder that will eventually put you in rehab because real life cannot be paused or re-watched.
If you make a mistake with that shit you're gone, and unless its in the papers I won't know. So good luck, god rest, and goodbye I've learned my lessons to stay away from you two.
Thank you for the goodtimes they will be cherished and as for now I am going to move forward in my life with a happier soul!! Take Care and I hope you make the right choices for the future.
I have dropped some dead weight recently. Weight that had been dragging me down for years but I hadn't noticed it only felt like it was a recent unhappiness as in a matter of months but no it had been going on for a while.
One of my boyfriends that I had for almost 2 years once told me that I complained too much about my friends and how I wish I had better friends, how I wished I had someone like me. How I was lonely because my friends were never there for me. Well I looked closely at that one night recently and figured it that it was more than just one person. I'm not going to name names but I wonder if it was the drugs or the controlling boyfriends that was the ticket that made them change. But even if it was one of those reasons they have changed and they chose to, if they didn't like who they've become then they wouldn't still be that way am I right?
Its so sad you know to see them snorting up that Methadone in their noses. Methadone makes you FAT and UGLY. You can powder your nose and cake on the make-up, flash me those fake smiles but under it all theres a nasty habit that has changed you and made you different in a enormous negative way.
I feel so much better at pushing them away now though, its a fight I won't win even if it's for a good cause. I don't want to change them I want them to want to change themselves. But I can't spend all my time trying to make others happier. Its like being at a middle school dance sitting in the corner with the girl whos crying because someones dancing with her crush, only this time the stakes are higher. Yea thats right this time its like trying to convince your friend to leave her husband who's tried to kill her twice, and he still admits to her that he's fucked someone else but she takes him back. Thats her choice and if she wants to hurt and wants that kind of life good for her I hope she enjoys it. I don't need any of that baggage, I hate seeing her cry I hate the fucking drama I'm better than that. Then heres my other friend who has become a deadbeat that won't even get off her ass from watching a movie that can be paused or re-watched when I, someone that was so close to her needed her help in real life, she tells me "I would but I'm watching a movie." Stop filling your nose with that stupid powder that will eventually put you in rehab because real life cannot be paused or re-watched.
If you make a mistake with that shit you're gone, and unless its in the papers I won't know. So good luck, god rest, and goodbye I've learned my lessons to stay away from you two.
Thank you for the goodtimes they will be cherished and as for now I am going to move forward in my life with a happier soul!! Take Care and I hope you make the right choices for the future.