What Should I Do With My Life?
Ok so I never really post anymore cause I usually only post when I have problems/something interesting to talk about, and lately my life has been problem free (for the most part--go me!) and boring. But now I am at a cross-roads. And I am giving you all the opportunity to make major life decisions for me! Congrats!
SO some of you may or may not know that I am planning on getting my teaching credential. I want to teach little ones, preferably early childhood education (but pre-schools dont pay that great and having a credential is secure and better and blah blah you dont care). When I first decided this I was basically like, "yeah whatever find a place that hands out credentials and get one a be done with it". But the more research I did the more I realized that there are different options and different programs to choose from. I visited some places and did some research and most seemed kind of "meh, whatever" to me. The only place that really jumped out at me was Mills College. They have an entire education program which includes the option to do an emphasis in early childhood. They have an elementary school on campus that you observe and work in, the teachers all seem really cool, you can do a program which allows you to go to school part time after you get your credential and earn your masters (a masters in education = higher pay and no pink slips for teachers), the campus is aborable, and duh, they have my name. It seems like they actually want to educate people on how to actually BE a teacher, as opposed to just handing out credentials to anyone who completes the courses. it is also very expensive.
Then there is a place like Cal State East Bay. It is cheap and easy and fast. It is a big program with a lot of people, not very personal, but they give out alot of credentials so they know how it goes. And did I mention it is cheap?
So here is my main problem. The cost of Mills isn't the biggest problem. I really dont have much debt from UCSB because I only went 2 years and my parents helped a lot. So going to an expensive school for a year (or 2, if I get my masters) really wouldn't ruin me for the rest of my life. I mean, millions of people in America go to private universities for their undergrad for 4 years and pay for it with loans, and most of them survive. The big problem is how involved the program is. Since they do take it seriously, there is a lot of work. Basically they make you student teach for the entire year. You student teach during the day, then take classes at Mills in the afternoon/evening. That doesn't leave much time for anything else, like working, for example. At the info session I went to last night a current student talked with us and she said that she moved back in with her parents for the year. Not only does the idea of that kind of annoy me, but me deciding to move into my parent's house again does not just affect me. It affects Spencer. There is NO WAY me, Spencer, and my parents could live together again. I love my parents, they love me, and they REALLY love Spencer, but if we had to all live under the same roof again, I'm pretty sure at least one person would end up dead (probably either me or my mom). He told me that if I moved out, he would probably move back to Chico with his parents and do graduate work at Chico State. Could our relationship survive a year long distance? Probably. Do I want to chance it? Not really. Me living in my parents home without Spencer wouldn't be so bad--except for the without Spencer part. Honestly, just the thought of him being in Chico and me being here for a whole year makes me cry.
If I was single the decision to go to Mills would be easier. Yes, I would still have to sit down with my parents and figure out finances and logistics and crap, and I still wouldn't be 100% on if I should do it--but there would be way less to think about. Right now, if I didnt go to Mills, the #1 reason would be Spencer. So, do I give up on Mills because of the man I love? I wouldn't be giving up on my dream to be a teacher, but it would be a compromise. A compromise for someone I am not married to. I live my life thinking we will get married, and he does too (except he's not a girl so he doesn't have our wedding and future home planned out like I do) but who knows? What if I don't go to Mills, Spencer and I continue our life here, and then in 2 years we break up? OR, what if I do go to Mills, he moves back to Chico and meets some dumb Chico girl and we break up?
There really is no perfect answer. No matter what I do, I will have to sacrifice something. Which is really annoying and I think we should all put our heads together and figure out how everything can work out perfectly.
That would be great, thanks.
SO some of you may or may not know that I am planning on getting my teaching credential. I want to teach little ones, preferably early childhood education (but pre-schools dont pay that great and having a credential is secure and better and blah blah you dont care). When I first decided this I was basically like, "yeah whatever find a place that hands out credentials and get one a be done with it". But the more research I did the more I realized that there are different options and different programs to choose from. I visited some places and did some research and most seemed kind of "meh, whatever" to me. The only place that really jumped out at me was Mills College. They have an entire education program which includes the option to do an emphasis in early childhood. They have an elementary school on campus that you observe and work in, the teachers all seem really cool, you can do a program which allows you to go to school part time after you get your credential and earn your masters (a masters in education = higher pay and no pink slips for teachers), the campus is aborable, and duh, they have my name. It seems like they actually want to educate people on how to actually BE a teacher, as opposed to just handing out credentials to anyone who completes the courses. it is also very expensive.
Then there is a place like Cal State East Bay. It is cheap and easy and fast. It is a big program with a lot of people, not very personal, but they give out alot of credentials so they know how it goes. And did I mention it is cheap?
So here is my main problem. The cost of Mills isn't the biggest problem. I really dont have much debt from UCSB because I only went 2 years and my parents helped a lot. So going to an expensive school for a year (or 2, if I get my masters) really wouldn't ruin me for the rest of my life. I mean, millions of people in America go to private universities for their undergrad for 4 years and pay for it with loans, and most of them survive. The big problem is how involved the program is. Since they do take it seriously, there is a lot of work. Basically they make you student teach for the entire year. You student teach during the day, then take classes at Mills in the afternoon/evening. That doesn't leave much time for anything else, like working, for example. At the info session I went to last night a current student talked with us and she said that she moved back in with her parents for the year. Not only does the idea of that kind of annoy me, but me deciding to move into my parent's house again does not just affect me. It affects Spencer. There is NO WAY me, Spencer, and my parents could live together again. I love my parents, they love me, and they REALLY love Spencer, but if we had to all live under the same roof again, I'm pretty sure at least one person would end up dead (probably either me or my mom). He told me that if I moved out, he would probably move back to Chico with his parents and do graduate work at Chico State. Could our relationship survive a year long distance? Probably. Do I want to chance it? Not really. Me living in my parents home without Spencer wouldn't be so bad--except for the without Spencer part. Honestly, just the thought of him being in Chico and me being here for a whole year makes me cry.
If I was single the decision to go to Mills would be easier. Yes, I would still have to sit down with my parents and figure out finances and logistics and crap, and I still wouldn't be 100% on if I should do it--but there would be way less to think about. Right now, if I didnt go to Mills, the #1 reason would be Spencer. So, do I give up on Mills because of the man I love? I wouldn't be giving up on my dream to be a teacher, but it would be a compromise. A compromise for someone I am not married to. I live my life thinking we will get married, and he does too (except he's not a girl so he doesn't have our wedding and future home planned out like I do) but who knows? What if I don't go to Mills, Spencer and I continue our life here, and then in 2 years we break up? OR, what if I do go to Mills, he moves back to Chico and meets some dumb Chico girl and we break up?
There really is no perfect answer. No matter what I do, I will have to sacrifice something. Which is really annoying and I think we should all put our heads together and figure out how everything can work out perfectly.
That would be great, thanks.