I like my neighborhood, I like my gun
So, here it goes. I can't even begin to describe the emotional rollarcoaster I’ve been riding the past 3 weeks. It took me really high, then it leveled me out, then it dropped me to a low I haven't felt in quite a long time. I'm not exactly sure how I’m feeling right now. It's a numbing combination of things. Yesterday I found out what it feels like to have every emotion sucked out of you. I sat in a motionless silence, trying to find the proper words to say, but there were none. I'm so impatient. For some reason only half of our house has power. I feel like calling off work for that reason alone, and well...the fact that I hate washing dishes. After holding this job for 4 months, I’ve developed a psychological fear of green s.o.s. pads, soapy water and forks covered in pizza cheese. Yesterday I hung out with Patrick and Kyle. I'm trying to be more social, but I’m not sure if it's working. Uh. I think I have this horrible idea in my head that everyone is fucking with me. I constantly feel like I’m being lied to. Oh well! I think I allow myself to be gullible, and vulnerable, and pathetic and weak. It happens. I'm tired of being weak. I used to have so much will power, I didn't depend on other people to make me happy, and I’m also tired of caring so much about what other people think of me. I feel like an attention seeking whore. I just need constant reassurance that I'm wanted. I'm not seeking pity with my livejournal updates, if you think I am, I'm sorry. I'm not begging for comments, maybe just a little understanding? All I want is for someone to read through these posts of mine, and say 'hey, Audrey...I understand.' That's really all that I want, some goddamn understanding. It feels so good to know that I can pour my heart out, and in the end, have just one..ONE fucking person understand me. Thank God I like to ramble, otherwise I would say that I got off topic. I've watched a lot of movies lately. The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie has been my favorite. My mom recommended it to me, actually. I really miss her. She's only home on the weekends, which is when I work. I can see a dramatic change in myself since she started working out of state. I made a friend from Arkansas. A lovely boy by the name of Nick. We're going to meet each other in North Caroline sometime over the summer. Oh, and why I’m here...if someone made up a rumor about you having an eating disorder, would you get pissed off, or take it as some weird, fucked up way of someone noticing that you've lost weight? What a way to end a journal entry!
You rule. in 15 years, you won't be as known as you
are now, but most of the people that will know
you then will like you (or else I'll beat them
with a stick). You're nice to listen to.
What band from the 80s are you?
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You rule. in 15 years, you won't be as known as you
are now, but most of the people that will know
you then will like you (or else I'll beat them
with a stick). You're nice to listen to.
What band from the 80s are you?
brought to you by Quizilla