In reverent silence...all of us in our own fashion.
Today marks the last day of a week of remorse and pain. A week ago I was broken, but thanks to the help of true friends, and true brothers, I have once again been rebuilt to the sir you knew before.
I have thought hard about things in my life, about love, about hate, about things I can't even describe. I have found all to have their places and their times. If one would have asked me five days and a week ago, I would have told them that love is all there is. This, as I have found since, is not so true.
It is true, love is there, it always is there. Love though, like so many other things, is secretive and unpredictable. I thought nothing would happen, nothing would come in the way of my love for her. I thought she was the only thing I would ever see anymore in my life... I was mistaken.
So much hate, so much envy, so much fear lies between us and our dreams. We frequently don't see it, but it is there, like a knife to our backs, ready to end us as the flick of a wrist, or a step small step backward to catch the whole perspective in front of us. Our fears make short, what is in our hearts, and makes us but mere traitors to our hearts.
Fear and hate sometimes are good though for us. They bring things out in us that we never have seen, never knew existed, and they broaden our lives in ways love cannot touch. Things I have learned from love I hold dear in my heart. At the same time I hold hate and fears in the same reverence inside of me, for they are teachers all the same.
I have learned a lot about myself in this week, and it leaves me with a very peculiar feeling inside, a feeling which I chose neither to fully accept, nor to dismiss. It leaves me thinking, contemplating what I truly feel inside, and leaves me to my own devices for a moment in time.
I close with the words of a good writer and lyricist:
"On my life I'll try today
there's so much I've felt I should say but
even if your heart would listen, I doubt I could explain"
- Jim Adkins, Jimmy Eat World "If you don't, don't"
I have thought hard about things in my life, about love, about hate, about things I can't even describe. I have found all to have their places and their times. If one would have asked me five days and a week ago, I would have told them that love is all there is. This, as I have found since, is not so true.
It is true, love is there, it always is there. Love though, like so many other things, is secretive and unpredictable. I thought nothing would happen, nothing would come in the way of my love for her. I thought she was the only thing I would ever see anymore in my life... I was mistaken.
So much hate, so much envy, so much fear lies between us and our dreams. We frequently don't see it, but it is there, like a knife to our backs, ready to end us as the flick of a wrist, or a step small step backward to catch the whole perspective in front of us. Our fears make short, what is in our hearts, and makes us but mere traitors to our hearts.
Fear and hate sometimes are good though for us. They bring things out in us that we never have seen, never knew existed, and they broaden our lives in ways love cannot touch. Things I have learned from love I hold dear in my heart. At the same time I hold hate and fears in the same reverence inside of me, for they are teachers all the same.
I have learned a lot about myself in this week, and it leaves me with a very peculiar feeling inside, a feeling which I chose neither to fully accept, nor to dismiss. It leaves me thinking, contemplating what I truly feel inside, and leaves me to my own devices for a moment in time.
I close with the words of a good writer and lyricist:
"On my life I'll try today
there's so much I've felt I should say but
even if your heart would listen, I doubt I could explain"
- Jim Adkins, Jimmy Eat World "If you don't, don't"