Comments | dry_ice: Possible beginning of a longer fic

kindofwhimsical in dry_ice

Possible beginning of a longer fic

Dec 08, 2005 17:13

Hey guys. I just wrote this, and I'm trying to decide if I like it or if I want to get away from the first person tense. I'd love some feedback, because I want to use something like this as the beginning of a longer Bobby/John fic.

Title: Winter
Rating: PG
Characters: Bobby/John, Rogue
Summary: Bobby's never been bothered by the cold before.

( Why did he have to leave me in the middle of winter? )

author: kindofwhimsical, title: w, rating: pg, fiction: one-shots

Comments 6

simbiani82 December 9 2005, 06:40:41 UTC

Awww!! ... *wipes own slight tears away* Ahem... This is a great piece. I like the way you wrote it, and would definitely welcome some more. ^-^
~*~

( ... )

burningchaos December 9 2005, 11:46:53 UTC

Poor Bobby, I would love to read more.

talktooloose December 9 2005, 14:13:01 UTC

Nice piece. It seems to me you're bringing in the comicverse secondary mutation where his body is turning to ice. Do I guess right? Nice use of mutation thematically. I also like that John is the only one who sees through Bobby. Please write more.

starvinbohemian December 10 2005, 08:04:00 UTC

Ouch. :(

elle_rahen December 27 2005, 10:21:33 UTC

OMG. You are sooo good. I want more of this! More I tell you! Pwease? Hmmmmm...as for the first person tense it certainly doesn't bother me and I'm usually partial to using it in my own writing but sometimes I like to see through John's POV as well. Sorry I'm too indecisive to give you effective feedback. ^_^'' But please keep writing in whatever way is quickest for you!