You gotta Love the Misfits
You really do have to love the Misfits,those lovable Losers, the Overmatched Underdogs. those are the guys you allways cheer you allways seem to identify with. at some point in our lives we have all faced incredable odds a time where life itself seemed against us, wanting us to give in to throw in the towel. I k now I have been there so often its not funny. I have cried as some of those movies mostly cause i relate to the character so much at times. the pain of loving your children so much and not being able to be with them, the pain of seeing the one you haveing known since the moment you laid eyes on them that they are the one for you, Knowing god created that person as a beautiful part of your soul and you a part of theirs, forever together and yet seemingly always apart. workin at a job you hate for people who smile to your face and praise you, and once your out of earshot rip you into a steaming pile of dogshit. never once thinking maybe, just maybe you can still hear them talkin bout you. its why we loved movies like office space, clerks, 9 to 5, movies like youve got mail, pretty woman, or sleepless in whatever that place was. might seem silly but its those underdogs i feel proud and honnored to be a part of. as of yet i have never abandoned a friend i have been there for those i have pledged my life and friendship to. i have been there to feel their pain, to hold em when they cry and been there to share in the tears of joy when they are happy or proud of themselves for beating the odds. i do soo love those people. they are truly a rare breed. hard to find harder to befriend but loyal to the core once you prove your there for them. Im blessed to have them in my life especially lately. ill admit this nowi might deny it later who knows. this week i actually was scared i was gonna die i was workin tuesday morning and felt a pain in my chest i dident think much of ot till my arms went weak and my fingers felt cold n numb i realized it cause in the bathroom i ran hot water on my hands and it felt good almost like i was thawing from a freezer. went to my dr's office cause the only thoughts in my mind were im not ready to go yet. too many people here still need me. my lovely wife in spirit needs me to support her to keep going forward for our children. my friends need me to help them get through hard times finding the ones that they love to heal from scars and wounds from love gone wrong. My kids cant grow up without me they need me. was the first time death scared me. not cause i was gonna die but cause of the people i would leave behind. lucky for me i was ok not heart attack nor stroke but im gonna be in pain so he says for a while due to inflamation to the muscles and bones in my chest. which leaves me feeling alot of pain and unable to breath deeply. this said i know ill be ok why? cause i need to again for my own sake as well as those of the ones i love i need to continue to get better and keep fighting for them as best i can. who knows what the future holds. but its an adventure in the making. life is a journy of the soul. we are not this flesh that we inhabit we are more than that we continue beyond this. I know this i feel it i see it and i love it. theres so much more to say but my arms are truly in alot of pain and its getting harder to type so ill be back .... maybe tomorrow when its easier to type. hopefully the pain will get lighter or if im lucky go the fuck away this time. nite and sleep well