My Burrito has 25986 mg. of Sodium
There will also be much tale telling of the work… a lovely shift filled with all sorts of delight.
There will also be some talk of sports….. soccer in Euro 2008 has been freakin’ crazy…. and worth talking of.
Also…. superstarific is the best word ever. I totally want my summer to be superstarific.
Also… the fucking commercial for DBZ game…. is so awesome. All yell KAMEHAMEHA as you're doing mundane tasks all over the top like….. like the guy running with the water jug to refill the office cooler….. or the guy struggling to life the puny barbell.
Also fuck…. Jeff Hardy is now no longer on Raw….. fucking Smackdown and it’s shittiness. Raw gets Mysterio…. who gives a fuck…. and Smackdown gets Jeff Hardy…. I like this draft shit…. but so far it’s been bad luck for the only show I watch which is Raw. Then JR fucking went to Smackdown. Then Umaga . Last… fucking HHH. Seriosuly…. who even cares about Raw now.
So…. work. Well…. Jason Sullivan… who I went to school with in 7th and 8th grade works for Stop and Shop….. he’s with loss prevention. He fake shops the store and tries to catch shoplifters. It was cool to see him and chat some.
Okay… so today…. there was crazy shit going on…. oh what a fun shift…. CDH 12-6.
Let’s start with Phyllis….. fucking Phyllis. She’s old…. crazy….. and Phyllis. She didn’t recognize me at first… that as fine. Like 30 minutes into her shift she comes back and says she does now remember who I am and is all… you used to be heavier… blah blah. Well…. she was her usual fail self… needing tons of overrides…. wanting a bagger for her express lane… and ebing Phyllis. Then she talked my ear off forever about what I’m doing with my life…. about her “real job” as a paralegal. However… I audited her drawer afterwards…. she had it perfect…. not even off a penny. I was pretty dumbfounded.
I also got sucked into another vortex talking to this one guy… he’s in a wheelchair…. a veteran…. and he comes by often and talks…. but oh God… it was like 15 minutes…. I’m too nice to say just go away. The convo was interesting… him talking about how he was a teacher, how little he got paid, how he was going for his doctorate, but had to give it up because he got a better offer to teach gradeschool, etc. It was pretty crazy… ironically… it was Phyllis who saved me….. because she needed help again.
Okay…. as for workers…. there was some interesting stuff. Sean D. was someone I thought was lazy and useless…. maybe I was thinking of someone else…. he was good today…. rang when I needed him…. brought up a bunch of boxes of bags and organized them a la Mr. Kelly. Plus…. he’s kinda cute…. which often softens my opinion of someone. Matt L. is still someone I just have no trust for…. he bagged a good deal…. kinda might’ve done some blocking…. but was also just I don’t even have words for him. Oh God…. he reminds me exactly of fucking STEV. The way he talks, the long hair…. wow….. yeah. Kinda looks like him too… and has the same talk like I’m useful… but be completely useless.
So for the last bit of cute boys…. there’s this boy in the produce department…. I think his name might be Ben maybe….. but he’s drop dead gorgeous….. I’m totally lost to him. I see him and am putty. Yeah….. he’s probably the hottest one in the store right now.
Also…. best part of the day….. I end my shift with Dave Allard coming in….. and Dave stands there and tells me how to do my job for like 15 minutes. OMG… I’m all like….. I trained you you stupid fuck and you couldn’t do one thing right…. why am I humoring your idiocy.
So…he made me stay and wait while he audited my drawer…. all concerned that I might have messed things up…. and I got to teach him how to use the money counting machine because he’s a retard. Then… he couldn’t sign on because his cashier number was in use…. because his number is 216…… he’s got the fucking generic 200 number that we all use to sign on when we can’t use our own number or give to new people that don’t have one. HAHAHA…he’s never been given a real cashier number. I laughed so hard at that…. and out loud too…. it was probably mean. I told him to get a real number from Paul some time. Oh…. what a fail.
Anyway….. then he made me balance the podium because it should be balanced after ever CDH and I clearly don’t know how to do my job if I don’t balance it…. even though no one else has balanced it while I’ve been there.
Then I told him what problems we’d been having with sale items… limit of 2 on blueberries, limit of 5 on coke and all after 5 not scanning at the correct sale price of $3.00, and Betty Crocker must buy five to get on sale. He was all indignant…. he had read the sales flier the first day it came out and knew all about those sales and I was clearly insulting his intelligence by telling him what he already knew because he is SuperCDH!!!!! What a fuckwad. Seriously. Oh… that man is such a moronic imbecile. God I hope I never have to work with him.
So…. Euro 2008 was all upsets but 1 in the quarters. Russia scored 2 goals in extra time to win 3-1 over Netherlands who had looked unbeatable. Portugal…. possessing the sexiest soccer player in the world to many, but not including me…. cause I don’t think Cristiano Ronaldo is that hot…. but anyway… they looked almost as undefeatable as Netherlands and got smacked 3-2 by Germany…. who has who I think is the sexiest soccer player in the world…. Lukas Podolski….. totally the most German name ever. Yeah…. born in Poland and moved to Germany at age 2. Spain was the only group winner to win their quarter… in PK’s over Italy. Then there was Croatia vs. Turkey…. I watched this game and it was insane. It was 0-0 at regulation. Goes into overtime which is two 15 minute halves… no golden goal… meaning you play the full time. Well…. back and forth over time… both teams actually getting opportunities. In the 119th minute (90 minutes reg…. 15 first half OT, 14 into 2nd OT)… I mean with no time left….. horrible play by Turkey’s goalie…. Croatia player beats him to a ball on the line and makes a cross which one of his teammates puts in the net. It’s 1-0 Croatia and the game is over. Turkey gets the ball on the kick off…. it goes down to the goalie who punts it all the way down the field… it bounces off one of his players, goes to another teammate and this guy blasts it top corner to tie it 1-1 just as time runs out. It was fucking crazy. Just…. Holy shit. So it goes to PK’s and Turkey wins 3-1 thanks to shitty misses wide from Croatia.
Lastly …. okay… there will be teenage girl squealing over Camp Rock. It was awesomely fun… I got to watch it last night.….. Camp Rock was just so awesome. It was all girly and teenage and Joe Jonas is as fucking sexy as can be. Seriously…. just so OMG want. But yeah… the music was all catchy… the story was formulaic but so I want to screech like a giddy girl. I have to download the soundtrack. And I have to marry Joe Jonas…. or maybe Cole Sprouse….. right now it’s a toss up.
There will also be some talk of sports….. soccer in Euro 2008 has been freakin’ crazy…. and worth talking of.
Also…. superstarific is the best word ever. I totally want my summer to be superstarific.
Also… the fucking commercial for DBZ game…. is so awesome. All yell KAMEHAMEHA as you're doing mundane tasks all over the top like….. like the guy running with the water jug to refill the office cooler….. or the guy struggling to life the puny barbell.
Also fuck…. Jeff Hardy is now no longer on Raw….. fucking Smackdown and it’s shittiness. Raw gets Mysterio…. who gives a fuck…. and Smackdown gets Jeff Hardy…. I like this draft shit…. but so far it’s been bad luck for the only show I watch which is Raw. Then JR fucking went to Smackdown. Then Umaga . Last… fucking HHH. Seriosuly…. who even cares about Raw now.
So…. work. Well…. Jason Sullivan… who I went to school with in 7th and 8th grade works for Stop and Shop….. he’s with loss prevention. He fake shops the store and tries to catch shoplifters. It was cool to see him and chat some.
Okay… so today…. there was crazy shit going on…. oh what a fun shift…. CDH 12-6.
Let’s start with Phyllis….. fucking Phyllis. She’s old…. crazy….. and Phyllis. She didn’t recognize me at first… that as fine. Like 30 minutes into her shift she comes back and says she does now remember who I am and is all… you used to be heavier… blah blah. Well…. she was her usual fail self… needing tons of overrides…. wanting a bagger for her express lane… and ebing Phyllis. Then she talked my ear off forever about what I’m doing with my life…. about her “real job” as a paralegal. However… I audited her drawer afterwards…. she had it perfect…. not even off a penny. I was pretty dumbfounded.
I also got sucked into another vortex talking to this one guy… he’s in a wheelchair…. a veteran…. and he comes by often and talks…. but oh God… it was like 15 minutes…. I’m too nice to say just go away. The convo was interesting… him talking about how he was a teacher, how little he got paid, how he was going for his doctorate, but had to give it up because he got a better offer to teach gradeschool, etc. It was pretty crazy… ironically… it was Phyllis who saved me….. because she needed help again.
Okay…. as for workers…. there was some interesting stuff. Sean D. was someone I thought was lazy and useless…. maybe I was thinking of someone else…. he was good today…. rang when I needed him…. brought up a bunch of boxes of bags and organized them a la Mr. Kelly. Plus…. he’s kinda cute…. which often softens my opinion of someone. Matt L. is still someone I just have no trust for…. he bagged a good deal…. kinda might’ve done some blocking…. but was also just I don’t even have words for him. Oh God…. he reminds me exactly of fucking STEV. The way he talks, the long hair…. wow….. yeah. Kinda looks like him too… and has the same talk like I’m useful… but be completely useless.
So for the last bit of cute boys…. there’s this boy in the produce department…. I think his name might be Ben maybe….. but he’s drop dead gorgeous….. I’m totally lost to him. I see him and am putty. Yeah….. he’s probably the hottest one in the store right now.
Also…. best part of the day….. I end my shift with Dave Allard coming in….. and Dave stands there and tells me how to do my job for like 15 minutes. OMG… I’m all like….. I trained you you stupid fuck and you couldn’t do one thing right…. why am I humoring your idiocy.
So…he made me stay and wait while he audited my drawer…. all concerned that I might have messed things up…. and I got to teach him how to use the money counting machine because he’s a retard. Then… he couldn’t sign on because his cashier number was in use…. because his number is 216…… he’s got the fucking generic 200 number that we all use to sign on when we can’t use our own number or give to new people that don’t have one. HAHAHA…he’s never been given a real cashier number. I laughed so hard at that…. and out loud too…. it was probably mean. I told him to get a real number from Paul some time. Oh…. what a fail.
Anyway….. then he made me balance the podium because it should be balanced after ever CDH and I clearly don’t know how to do my job if I don’t balance it…. even though no one else has balanced it while I’ve been there.
Then I told him what problems we’d been having with sale items… limit of 2 on blueberries, limit of 5 on coke and all after 5 not scanning at the correct sale price of $3.00, and Betty Crocker must buy five to get on sale. He was all indignant…. he had read the sales flier the first day it came out and knew all about those sales and I was clearly insulting his intelligence by telling him what he already knew because he is SuperCDH!!!!! What a fuckwad. Seriously. Oh… that man is such a moronic imbecile. God I hope I never have to work with him.
So…. Euro 2008 was all upsets but 1 in the quarters. Russia scored 2 goals in extra time to win 3-1 over Netherlands who had looked unbeatable. Portugal…. possessing the sexiest soccer player in the world to many, but not including me…. cause I don’t think Cristiano Ronaldo is that hot…. but anyway… they looked almost as undefeatable as Netherlands and got smacked 3-2 by Germany…. who has who I think is the sexiest soccer player in the world…. Lukas Podolski….. totally the most German name ever. Yeah…. born in Poland and moved to Germany at age 2. Spain was the only group winner to win their quarter… in PK’s over Italy. Then there was Croatia vs. Turkey…. I watched this game and it was insane. It was 0-0 at regulation. Goes into overtime which is two 15 minute halves… no golden goal… meaning you play the full time. Well…. back and forth over time… both teams actually getting opportunities. In the 119th minute (90 minutes reg…. 15 first half OT, 14 into 2nd OT)… I mean with no time left….. horrible play by Turkey’s goalie…. Croatia player beats him to a ball on the line and makes a cross which one of his teammates puts in the net. It’s 1-0 Croatia and the game is over. Turkey gets the ball on the kick off…. it goes down to the goalie who punts it all the way down the field… it bounces off one of his players, goes to another teammate and this guy blasts it top corner to tie it 1-1 just as time runs out. It was fucking crazy. Just…. Holy shit. So it goes to PK’s and Turkey wins 3-1 thanks to shitty misses wide from Croatia.
Lastly …. okay… there will be teenage girl squealing over Camp Rock. It was awesomely fun… I got to watch it last night.….. Camp Rock was just so awesome. It was all girly and teenage and Joe Jonas is as fucking sexy as can be. Seriously…. just so OMG want. But yeah… the music was all catchy… the story was formulaic but so I want to screech like a giddy girl. I have to download the soundtrack. And I have to marry Joe Jonas…. or maybe Cole Sprouse….. right now it’s a toss up.