i bet you never knew this...
ive been pretty down lately
like im actually kind of suprised at how long this has been going on for...only one of the problems stays consistant though...well actually two
kels kels is gone and i have a horrible self image
and i know that i will eventually get over kelsey being gone it will just take me a little bit..but i have no idea how to fix the way i view myself...like none what so ever...im trying to work on my body physically but it takes time and i want to feel better now! i know one quick way to fix it...but thats what got me into this whole mess in the first place. i hate being tempted by it though. its always in the back of my head. i want to stop eating so bad. but that wouldnt do me any good and i know it. im not even over weight! i just hate the way i look. plain and simple. yes i know that i do like some parts of my body but that doesnt matter when the only thing you see is negative. nothing is wrong with me. i know im pretty i know that other girls want to look like me..i know all of this! i just cant get these shades off my eyes. i just want to be able to except myself. i want to be able to look at the mirror and say that im pretty and mean it. i dont want to see the one thing that bothers me but all of the millions of things i like about myself. theyre there but i just dont recognize them. i wont let myself recognize them.
itd probably help if i actually had friends that i see on a regular basis...that i can call up and just talk to. people that want to invite me places instead of me always getting everyone together. what sucks is the people that i always try to get together..dont even invite me when they plan stuff. thats like kicking a guy in the balls...or at least i would assume so.
but im strong. ill find a way to get over this...God will help me :)
actually God is going to take all of this away. i have faith.
val
like im actually kind of suprised at how long this has been going on for...only one of the problems stays consistant though...well actually two
kels kels is gone and i have a horrible self image
and i know that i will eventually get over kelsey being gone it will just take me a little bit..but i have no idea how to fix the way i view myself...like none what so ever...im trying to work on my body physically but it takes time and i want to feel better now! i know one quick way to fix it...but thats what got me into this whole mess in the first place. i hate being tempted by it though. its always in the back of my head. i want to stop eating so bad. but that wouldnt do me any good and i know it. im not even over weight! i just hate the way i look. plain and simple. yes i know that i do like some parts of my body but that doesnt matter when the only thing you see is negative. nothing is wrong with me. i know im pretty i know that other girls want to look like me..i know all of this! i just cant get these shades off my eyes. i just want to be able to except myself. i want to be able to look at the mirror and say that im pretty and mean it. i dont want to see the one thing that bothers me but all of the millions of things i like about myself. theyre there but i just dont recognize them. i wont let myself recognize them.
itd probably help if i actually had friends that i see on a regular basis...that i can call up and just talk to. people that want to invite me places instead of me always getting everyone together. what sucks is the people that i always try to get together..dont even invite me when they plan stuff. thats like kicking a guy in the balls...or at least i would assume so.
but im strong. ill find a way to get over this...God will help me :)
actually God is going to take all of this away. i have faith.
val