tell her that i just can't go on
Here is a list of all the shit I need to get done within the next 10 days:
- 16 page/8 spread Events calendar
- 8 morphologies
- 2 typographer research papers & accompanying booklet designs
- 30+ sketchbook spreads
- Take Activist photos for Vagina Monologues poster
- Point of Purchase Display for Almost Useless Invention + Package
- Research Basics final group paper (15 pages)
- GLP Beta web site
I'd like to say I've got a nice chunk of this stuff done, but I'd be lying. I'm feeling like it's pretty freakin' impossible to get it all done and I don't know what to do. I'm so overwhelmed that I honestly am sometimes incapacitated to the point where all I can do is sit and cry...but only in short bursts, never the satisfying long bawling that makes you feel better in the end, just the kind that makes you feel pathetic.
this isn't me. i don't like how i am right now.
T-minus 6 days till review.
I always say I won't let it get to me, but the closer it gets, the more I fall apart. I finally cracked under the pressure that has been building up this entire semester, and I took it out on myself by overeating...which disgusts me beyond words. I went 7 damn months of being on this goddamn diet and didn't crack, and now I have, and it makes me feel like crap and it's actually stressing me out more, and I keep thinking about how disgusted with myself I am rather than focusing on getting my nice long list of shit done. I'm terrified that I won't be able to control myself and get back on track.
On the slightly brighter side of things, I had my CTS evaluation on Thursday and my bosses asked me if I'd like to be a supervisor next year. It's funny how that keeps getting kicked around. We'll see if it actually pans out, it's nice that they consider me for that stuff (and hell, who am I kidding, i'm sick of doing rounds and being in the labs, so getting paid more to do less would kick ass)
I sincerely wish I had time to finish writing my cover letter, which happens to be the very last thing I need to finish for my AustraLearn internship application to be complete so I can send it off and find out if I'm going to be interning abroad this upcoming summer. Thinking about getting out of here just makes me frustrated because i'm so stuck for the moment and stressed out.
just gotta keep trying to think positive, no matter how impossible that may seem. I just keep telling myself that things will get better when this semester from hell ends. Seriously. It has to get better.
there are too many thoughts that fly around in my head and they won't give me a break.
and now back to my pile of work that needs doin'.
- 16 page/8 spread Events calendar
- 8 morphologies
- 2 typographer research papers & accompanying booklet designs
- 30+ sketchbook spreads
- Take Activist photos for Vagina Monologues poster
- Point of Purchase Display for Almost Useless Invention + Package
- Research Basics final group paper (15 pages)
- GLP Beta web site
I'd like to say I've got a nice chunk of this stuff done, but I'd be lying. I'm feeling like it's pretty freakin' impossible to get it all done and I don't know what to do. I'm so overwhelmed that I honestly am sometimes incapacitated to the point where all I can do is sit and cry...but only in short bursts, never the satisfying long bawling that makes you feel better in the end, just the kind that makes you feel pathetic.
this isn't me. i don't like how i am right now.
T-minus 6 days till review.
I always say I won't let it get to me, but the closer it gets, the more I fall apart. I finally cracked under the pressure that has been building up this entire semester, and I took it out on myself by overeating...which disgusts me beyond words. I went 7 damn months of being on this goddamn diet and didn't crack, and now I have, and it makes me feel like crap and it's actually stressing me out more, and I keep thinking about how disgusted with myself I am rather than focusing on getting my nice long list of shit done. I'm terrified that I won't be able to control myself and get back on track.
On the slightly brighter side of things, I had my CTS evaluation on Thursday and my bosses asked me if I'd like to be a supervisor next year. It's funny how that keeps getting kicked around. We'll see if it actually pans out, it's nice that they consider me for that stuff (and hell, who am I kidding, i'm sick of doing rounds and being in the labs, so getting paid more to do less would kick ass)
I sincerely wish I had time to finish writing my cover letter, which happens to be the very last thing I need to finish for my AustraLearn internship application to be complete so I can send it off and find out if I'm going to be interning abroad this upcoming summer. Thinking about getting out of here just makes me frustrated because i'm so stuck for the moment and stressed out.
just gotta keep trying to think positive, no matter how impossible that may seem. I just keep telling myself that things will get better when this semester from hell ends. Seriously. It has to get better.
there are too many thoughts that fly around in my head and they won't give me a break.
and now back to my pile of work that needs doin'.