Home Sweet Home
Ahh, it's good to be back to weather I can sink my teeth into! It's a beautiful 0 degrees here in suburban Westfield, New Jersey, and the skies are a cheerful gray as the rain freezes to the road and causes all to celebrate with joyous accidents. It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas, what with the nice weather and drunk drivers.
Customs was no problem. I smuggled that 46 kilos of pure Indian heroin through Newark like a calm, professional champion. (Hello, FBI! Just kidding! Not really. Yes I am!) Seriously, I was ready to pop open my bag, show everything, so of course they waved me through with barely a glance at my passport and customs declaration. Whereas when I came back from Europe they literally tore my duffel bag to a broken, tattered wreck of its former glory in their zeal to inspect my dirty underwear. All in all I much prefer intact luggage, though if DARE and King George have taught me anything (and I believe they have), it's that police-state tyranny is a small price we must gladly pay for our precious freedom.
Remember kids, drugs are no laughing matter.
Customs was no problem. I smuggled that 46 kilos of pure Indian heroin through Newark like a calm, professional champion. (Hello, FBI! Just kidding! Not really. Yes I am!) Seriously, I was ready to pop open my bag, show everything, so of course they waved me through with barely a glance at my passport and customs declaration. Whereas when I came back from Europe they literally tore my duffel bag to a broken, tattered wreck of its former glory in their zeal to inspect my dirty underwear. All in all I much prefer intact luggage, though if DARE and King George have taught me anything (and I believe they have), it's that police-state tyranny is a small price we must gladly pay for our precious freedom.
Remember kids, drugs are no laughing matter.