[Series] Truth In A Lie; 05 Shades of Grey
Title: Truth In A Lie
Author: b_sim
Characters/Pairings: GACKT/Hyde (Hideto)
Rating: R
Genre: AU, humour, romance
Summary: As a model, Hideto meets with many fakes and frauds. His life gets even more confusing when Gackt, a video game character, materialises in his world. Hideto wonders if anything is even real anymore.
Notes: Hideto gets to understand Gackt's feelings on his world a bit more. ♥
Disclaimer: Do not own Hyde and GACKT.
“Gackt?”
“Yes?”
“Tell me about your world.”
Gackt tilted his romance novel-Hideto realised Gackt liked those especially-down before turning his attention to Hideto who had his head resting in his lap, his own choice of reading material, that month’s issue of SENSE, a men’s fashion magazine, in his hands.
The taller man blinked at him, letting that small action ask Hideto why, knowing he didn’t have to voice out the question. It had been almost three weeks since he started living here and, in that time, both he and Hideto had gotten to know one another’s little habits, getting a feel of each other’s body language. Sometimes actions were all they needed.
Hideto understood what that blink meant, of course, but he wasn’t quite sure how he was supposed to answer the question. That lazy afternoon had found both of them in the living room together, reading, and, without anything triggering it, Hideto had started to wonder about Gackt and his homeland, Uthonia. What was it like there, Hideto wondered. Did it even exist? Or was it truly just a video game and, if so, did that mean that Gackt didn’t really exist in Uthonia? That he truly was just another video game character controlled by the person playing the game? A zombie, in simpler terms, and the player would be the the hunger driving it.
Thinking of it made Hideto’s heart ache, strangely.
The model shrugged, placing the magazine down on his stomach as he stared up at his companion. “I’m just curious. I mean, you were always talking about how you needed to save-”
“Need. I still need to save Uthonia. It’s just that I’m at a little road block right now.”
“I don’t see you trying to do anything about it,” Hideto muttered almost accusingly, though he was honestly glad. He liked having Gackt around, no matter how strange his existence was.
Gackt gave him a look that Hideto often saw him give to his enemies-a warning look. Narrowed eyes and frown on his lips, almost looking like a pout.
“…okay, I’ll drop it. Just tell me about Uthonia.”
Gackt sighed softly, trying to think. The next five minutes were filled with silence and with just Hideto staring at Gackt expectantly, waiting for an answer. Hideto didn’t understand why it was taking so long-Gackt loved Uthonia, didn’t he? He was always harping about how much he loved the people in Uthonia and how much he loved the fresh green grass and mountains.
When Gackt finally spoke, a wry smile on his lips, it wasn’t an answer that Hideto had been expecting.
“To be honest, I don’t think I can.”
Hideto simply stared at him, letting his look ask for an elaboration instead of his words.
“Your world and mine seem to be blending together,” Gackt said, trying to explain himself as well as he could. He wasn’t quite sure why this was happening as well. He used to think about his homeland all the time. He used to look out the window and think about the grassy fields where children ran about and played their games but now, whenever he looked out the window and at Tokyo, he just found himself mesmerised by the night lights. The more he stared, the more he felt that this was where he belonged. Just three weeks ago, he hated the food they had here but had recently found himself asking HIdeto for second rounds at meals. The food he ate was starting to become local dishes to him. He was really settling down here. “I don’t remember what’s Uthonia or Tokyo anymore, just…this.”
He couldn’t recall anymore. Were pizzas and burgers from Tokyo or from Uthonia? Were the night lights this colourful in Uthonia or was he mistaking these lights for Tokyo lights? Gackt couldn’t remember what was what.
“You feel as if you belong here?” Hideto asked, something warming up within him as he heard those words. It was different from just the usual warmth that covered him when Gackt was around. This felt nicer and he swore he could physically feel the heat rising to his cheeks. “Like, this could be home?”
Gackt considered this for a moment, nodding afterwards.
“…would you go back, if you could?” Hideto asked carefully, the trepidation he felt creeping into his voice. Gackt didn’t seem to notice this.
“I’m not sure… When I first came here, I would have, in a heart beat. The people of Uthonia still need me after all,” he pointed out. But then he frowned, eyebrows furrowing together. “But, it’s been three weeks already and… Uthonia has most likely already fallen to Ezra.”
Hideto wondered if such a world truly existed, if there really were people who needed Gackt to rescue them from Ezra.
Gackt slowly turned to look at Hideto then. “It’s not that I’m trying to run away from my duties,” he said first, wanting to get that point out first. “But… it’s all shades of grey now. At first, everything was clear. There was black and white. Your world and my world. Two very distinct things. And I knew where I belonged.”
Gackt paused, as if he was having a difficult time trying to organize his thoughts and then voice them out. Hideto raised a hand to rub his shoulder, offering comfort that only he, as a friend, could offer through both his silence and touch.
“But both sides have melted into each other now,” Gackt finally said after a while. “It’s all grey now.”
“Grey, huh?” Hideto mumbled to himself, understanding completely. He often felt caught between two things as well, caught between lies and truth. Unlike Gackt, though, Hideto knew the differences between the two sides clearly. He knew what was black and he knew what was white even though he was caught smack right in the centre of all the grey. Gackt couldn’t. To Gackt, everything was becoming one.
“I don’t know what’s real anymore,” Gackt admitted softly, sounding as if he felt guilty for not knowing. “I used to think that your world was a fantasy or result of some witchcraft, but it’s become so real to me. It’s become home and… and Uthonia’s the one that seems so far away now. I don’t even know if it’s my home now or if it even exists. That’s why I don’t know if, given the chance, I would go back.”
Hideto understood. He squeezed Gackt’s shoulder, trying to let him know he was always welcomed here.
“And if I went back, I’d lose you, wouldn’t I?”
The smaller man froze. Gackt raised his eyes to meet Hideto’s and, like so many times before, Hideto saw nothing but truth. Gackt was not lying in an attempt to be charming. He was not trying to win Hideto over or anything of that sort, he was simply stating a fact. Knowing Gackt wouldn’t return to Uthonia for him was making him start to feel hotter and hotter. The anxiety he had felt at first was also beginning to build up again, this time for a completely different reason.
Hideto didn’t want to get attached to Gackt.
All this life, Hideto kept people out. He didn’t want liars and fakes and frauds. Who knew when they were telling the truth and who knew when they were facing you with themselves or with a mask. Hideto didn’t want to have to live life suspecting friends like that. Hence, he never got too close to anyone. Gackt, though, was different. He was honest and all but an open book to him and to everyone. He had nothing to conceal and he had nothing to prove.
But he was a video game character, Hideto had told himself long ago. One day, Gackt would have to go back. One day, by the same unearthly powers that had brought Gackt here, they would take him back. For that reason, Hideto had tried to distance himself from the assassin.
Gackt made it so difficult to do so, though. He was sweet and kind and a great conversation partner. Hideto couldn’t remember the last time he had just sat down with someone and just talked. Really talk, without any business deals or offers weighing on his partner’s mind. He couldn’t remember the last time he had just enjoyed himself with someone else, because of that someone else. Gackt was funny (sometimes without the intention of trying to be) and just the nicest guy around, the nicest guy to have around.
Hideto knew he had been getting closer and closer to Gackt. He knew that he should’ve stopped himself but, gods, he just hadn’t been able to. He had longed for this companionship for so long that he just couldn’t pull himself away from it.
And now, he knew Gackt was as attached to him as he was to Gackt. Friendship was a two-way street after all. Hideto didn’t know if this was good or bad.
“…I suppose,” Hideto agreed softly as he let his hand fall back to his side from Gackt’s shoulder.
The taller man could see that Hideto was uncomfortable with this topic. Smiling, as if he was trying to tell Hideto that everything would be alright, he soon picked up his book again and returned his attention to that. Hideto followed suit, picking up his magazine and then resting his head in Gackt’s lap again.
He didn’t understand why his heart was beating so fast.
“You have a photoshoot tomorrow?” Gackt asked.
“Yeah, I’m modelling for COVER tomorrow night,” Hideto said, cheerful-he loved changing in and out of new stylish clothes and posing in them. Sometimes, he’d even get to take some outfits home.
“Can I go with you?”
“I think that’ll be alright.”
There were times when Gackt doubted that Hideto was really a model. After all, models were classy, elegant people and Hideto didn’t seem to be anything like that. He slouched and he sometimes lazed about doing nothing, in the most inelegant positions, sprawling out over the couch or bed, sometimes floor when he just felt bored. And, as far as he knew, models didn’t eat-how else would they get so thin? And Hideto seemed to love food, especially the fatty ones. Models were supposed to have sexy bodies and with all the junk that Hideto put into his body, Gackt had doubted that he’d look good in front of a camera.
Now, though, he had no doubts anymore.
Standing in front of a white backdrop, topless and raw and fierce, was Hideto, doing what he did best.
Gackt sat on a chair against the wall, watching with a small smile on his face. Hideto looked good. Hidden under all the clothes he wore every day had been such a beautiful body and Gackt hadn’t even known. His abs were defined but not too much that he’d look like a statue. His hips bones, though, were profound, as were his collar bone and sex lines. Hideto was, in a word, flawless.
Hideto met his eyes for a moment and then smirked, leaving that smirk on his face even as he turned back to the camera. Gackt felt his smile widen.
“What d’you think?” Hideto asked as he approached Gackt afterwards, about to change into another outfit. The focus on what he was currently wearing was the belt and jeans and the photographers had felt that shirts would take away that focus-Gackt supported their thinking.
“You look good,” Gackt simply commented, looking up at Hideto who towered him now in their current positions.
Hideto laughed and then shook his head at Gackt, practically preening and bursting with confidence. “Gackt, darling, that has got to be the understatement of the year.”
“Oh, getting cocky now, huh?” Gackt teased before darting a hand out to poke Hideto in the ribs. The model dodged it barely, mock-glaring at the assassin who feigned innocence.
“Hideto-san!” they both heard the photographer call impatiently.
“Gotta go,” Hideto said before rushing off to the changing room. When he returned, he was wearing a tanktop and a heavy jacket but Gackt had to admit that, even fully-dressed, Hideto was right-’good’ was seriously a huge understatement.
“So, uh…”
Hideto fought the urge to groan.
“Who’s your friend?” Bunta asked from behind Hideto, changing into his own clothes. Bunta had been one of the male models for today’s shoot. Hideto, with Gackt’s presence, had been able to ignore him for most of the shoot but now, they were the only ones left in the dressing room and there was no escaping him.
Hideto grabbed his pants from the chair which he had draped them over. He started to put them on. “Just a friend. Why do you care?”
Bunta chuckled softly, eyes straying to Hideto and then running up his body. He shrugged. “I’m curious. I want to make sure he’s not stealing you from me.’
Hideto fought the urge to groan again but, this time, he failed. The groan was accompanied by a roll of the eyes as well. Bunta seemed unfazed by it.
“Bunta-san, I’m not ‘yours’ to begin with,” Hideto pointed out, irritated, as he zipped up his pants and then reached a hand out in front of Bunta to get his shirt which was on the couch. Before his fingers could even tough it, though, he felt two hands on his body, moving up and down his body slowly. Hideto froze immediately, much to Bunta’s advantage. The taller man pulled Hideto’s body back against himself.
“Of course you are,” Bunta whispered into Hideto’s ear. “You just don’t know it yet, sexy.”
Before Hideto could clearly comprehend what was going on, he was shoved forward roughly and onto the couch. He fell onto one knee on it and, just a second later, Bunta’s body was pressed up against his again and a hand was being shoved down his pants.
Just as he started to struggle, the door open.
“Hideto, they told me I could come see your dressing room!” a cheerful voice, unmistakably Gackt’s, said.
Bunta looked over his shoulder and at Gackt whose smile was starting to fade. Hideto turned his head to look back as well but Bunta’s shoulder blocked most of his view and he could only see Gackt’s eyes. In them, he saw happiness start to change into something else. What was that? His train of thought was interrupted when the hand in his pants started creeping into his underwear. He started to struggle even harder. He just need to get one arm free. Just one arm and this would be over. "Fuck!"
Gackt stared, mortified. Bunta merely grinned back at him.
“Wanna help me out?” Bunta offered. “Or do you just wanna watch?”
“Ugh, you’re a pig.”
Hideto got one arm free from Bunta's hold.
And then Hideto flipped Bunta over his own head and into the wall from which he then slowly slid down onto the couch, moaning in pain. Hideto glared at the other male model before grabbing his bag off the table and slinging it around himself. His shirt was under Bunta, who was still trying to grasp what had just happened, and Hideto didn’t feel like trying to wrestle it out from under him. He didn’t quite want to wear that shirt anymore either, since Bunta had come into contact with it.
Hideto just turned and then walked out of the dressing room. “Come on, Gackt.”
The assassin followed obediently, suddenly very afraid that he might be the next one to get flipped. He couldn’t, however, control himself from staring at Hideto in awe.
Hideto sighed, well aware of the look Gackt was giving him. The other people in the hallway were staring too but only at his body and those were the stares Hideto had already gotten used to. It was Gackt’s that was different. HIdeto could already picture the bewildered look on his face. Proudly, he said, “I know gays are perceived as weak and snivelling little babies that need protecting from tough guys but that’s not true, alright? I took martial arts class for five years and I can take care of myself.”
There was a grin growing on Gackt’s face-he had enjoyed watching that and knowing Bunta was in pain.
“That was very impressive, Hideto,” Gackt commented, practically beaming. He hadn’t known his friend was so cool. He was beautiful, sexy, smart and he could kick ass too. Gackt suddenly felt very proud to be Hideto’s friend.
Hideto heard himself laugh as he turned to Gackt with a happy twinkle in his eye-as much as Gackt had enjoyed watching that, Hideto had enjoyed doing it. God, he wished he could do that to all the phonies around him. It felt good. “Coming from an assassin, that means a lot. Thanks.”
But it was when Hideto turned to him that Gackt realised he looked quite shaken. Gackt reached a hand out to stop him from walking any further, his grin immediately replaced with a tiny frown of concern.
“Are you alright? You seem to be in a state of slight shock,” Gackt said.
“He just caught me off-guard for a moment there,” Hideto claimed, offering Gackt a happy smile. “I’m alright.”
But, even when they were walking to the train station minutes later, Hideto was still shaking a little. Gackt draped his own jacket around Hideto’s shoulders-Hideto had a nice body but he was sure being half-naked in public was considered indecent-and then took Hideto’s hand into his own, offering comfort through touch. And, when Hideto turned to him with the look that asked for an explanation for his actions, Gackt merely smiled and then squeezed his hand.
Hideto’s heart skipped a beat and then started beating faster, as if trying to make up for time lost by the skipped beat.
On the train later, as he looked at his and Gackt’s reflection in the window, what Gackt had said a few days ago came to mind. About shades of grey. About black and white, two distinct things mixing together. Hideto was trapped in a mixture of truths and lies. But he knew what were truths and he knew what were lies.
But he didn’t know what Gackt was.
How could Gackt be a truth when he was actually fake, a video game character? And yet, he couldn’t be a lie either, not when he was always so sincere and honest in everything he said and did.
He realised then that Gackt was neither black or white. In the shades of grey that Hideto was trapped in, Gackt was colour.
Notes: Done at last. I really should be studying for my social studies exam tomorrow but dammit, I’ve been studying it for the past five days and I’m sick, sick, sick of it. I had to do something to relax. ♥
Author: b_sim
Characters/Pairings: GACKT/Hyde (Hideto)
Rating: R
Genre: AU, humour, romance
Summary: As a model, Hideto meets with many fakes and frauds. His life gets even more confusing when Gackt, a video game character, materialises in his world. Hideto wonders if anything is even real anymore.
Notes: Hideto gets to understand Gackt's feelings on his world a bit more. ♥
Disclaimer: Do not own Hyde and GACKT.
“Gackt?”
“Yes?”
“Tell me about your world.”
Gackt tilted his romance novel-Hideto realised Gackt liked those especially-down before turning his attention to Hideto who had his head resting in his lap, his own choice of reading material, that month’s issue of SENSE, a men’s fashion magazine, in his hands.
The taller man blinked at him, letting that small action ask Hideto why, knowing he didn’t have to voice out the question. It had been almost three weeks since he started living here and, in that time, both he and Hideto had gotten to know one another’s little habits, getting a feel of each other’s body language. Sometimes actions were all they needed.
Hideto understood what that blink meant, of course, but he wasn’t quite sure how he was supposed to answer the question. That lazy afternoon had found both of them in the living room together, reading, and, without anything triggering it, Hideto had started to wonder about Gackt and his homeland, Uthonia. What was it like there, Hideto wondered. Did it even exist? Or was it truly just a video game and, if so, did that mean that Gackt didn’t really exist in Uthonia? That he truly was just another video game character controlled by the person playing the game? A zombie, in simpler terms, and the player would be the the hunger driving it.
Thinking of it made Hideto’s heart ache, strangely.
The model shrugged, placing the magazine down on his stomach as he stared up at his companion. “I’m just curious. I mean, you were always talking about how you needed to save-”
“Need. I still need to save Uthonia. It’s just that I’m at a little road block right now.”
“I don’t see you trying to do anything about it,” Hideto muttered almost accusingly, though he was honestly glad. He liked having Gackt around, no matter how strange his existence was.
Gackt gave him a look that Hideto often saw him give to his enemies-a warning look. Narrowed eyes and frown on his lips, almost looking like a pout.
“…okay, I’ll drop it. Just tell me about Uthonia.”
Gackt sighed softly, trying to think. The next five minutes were filled with silence and with just Hideto staring at Gackt expectantly, waiting for an answer. Hideto didn’t understand why it was taking so long-Gackt loved Uthonia, didn’t he? He was always harping about how much he loved the people in Uthonia and how much he loved the fresh green grass and mountains.
When Gackt finally spoke, a wry smile on his lips, it wasn’t an answer that Hideto had been expecting.
“To be honest, I don’t think I can.”
Hideto simply stared at him, letting his look ask for an elaboration instead of his words.
“Your world and mine seem to be blending together,” Gackt said, trying to explain himself as well as he could. He wasn’t quite sure why this was happening as well. He used to think about his homeland all the time. He used to look out the window and think about the grassy fields where children ran about and played their games but now, whenever he looked out the window and at Tokyo, he just found himself mesmerised by the night lights. The more he stared, the more he felt that this was where he belonged. Just three weeks ago, he hated the food they had here but had recently found himself asking HIdeto for second rounds at meals. The food he ate was starting to become local dishes to him. He was really settling down here. “I don’t remember what’s Uthonia or Tokyo anymore, just…this.”
He couldn’t recall anymore. Were pizzas and burgers from Tokyo or from Uthonia? Were the night lights this colourful in Uthonia or was he mistaking these lights for Tokyo lights? Gackt couldn’t remember what was what.
“You feel as if you belong here?” Hideto asked, something warming up within him as he heard those words. It was different from just the usual warmth that covered him when Gackt was around. This felt nicer and he swore he could physically feel the heat rising to his cheeks. “Like, this could be home?”
Gackt considered this for a moment, nodding afterwards.
“…would you go back, if you could?” Hideto asked carefully, the trepidation he felt creeping into his voice. Gackt didn’t seem to notice this.
“I’m not sure… When I first came here, I would have, in a heart beat. The people of Uthonia still need me after all,” he pointed out. But then he frowned, eyebrows furrowing together. “But, it’s been three weeks already and… Uthonia has most likely already fallen to Ezra.”
Hideto wondered if such a world truly existed, if there really were people who needed Gackt to rescue them from Ezra.
Gackt slowly turned to look at Hideto then. “It’s not that I’m trying to run away from my duties,” he said first, wanting to get that point out first. “But… it’s all shades of grey now. At first, everything was clear. There was black and white. Your world and my world. Two very distinct things. And I knew where I belonged.”
Gackt paused, as if he was having a difficult time trying to organize his thoughts and then voice them out. Hideto raised a hand to rub his shoulder, offering comfort that only he, as a friend, could offer through both his silence and touch.
“But both sides have melted into each other now,” Gackt finally said after a while. “It’s all grey now.”
“Grey, huh?” Hideto mumbled to himself, understanding completely. He often felt caught between two things as well, caught between lies and truth. Unlike Gackt, though, Hideto knew the differences between the two sides clearly. He knew what was black and he knew what was white even though he was caught smack right in the centre of all the grey. Gackt couldn’t. To Gackt, everything was becoming one.
“I don’t know what’s real anymore,” Gackt admitted softly, sounding as if he felt guilty for not knowing. “I used to think that your world was a fantasy or result of some witchcraft, but it’s become so real to me. It’s become home and… and Uthonia’s the one that seems so far away now. I don’t even know if it’s my home now or if it even exists. That’s why I don’t know if, given the chance, I would go back.”
Hideto understood. He squeezed Gackt’s shoulder, trying to let him know he was always welcomed here.
“And if I went back, I’d lose you, wouldn’t I?”
The smaller man froze. Gackt raised his eyes to meet Hideto’s and, like so many times before, Hideto saw nothing but truth. Gackt was not lying in an attempt to be charming. He was not trying to win Hideto over or anything of that sort, he was simply stating a fact. Knowing Gackt wouldn’t return to Uthonia for him was making him start to feel hotter and hotter. The anxiety he had felt at first was also beginning to build up again, this time for a completely different reason.
Hideto didn’t want to get attached to Gackt.
All this life, Hideto kept people out. He didn’t want liars and fakes and frauds. Who knew when they were telling the truth and who knew when they were facing you with themselves or with a mask. Hideto didn’t want to have to live life suspecting friends like that. Hence, he never got too close to anyone. Gackt, though, was different. He was honest and all but an open book to him and to everyone. He had nothing to conceal and he had nothing to prove.
But he was a video game character, Hideto had told himself long ago. One day, Gackt would have to go back. One day, by the same unearthly powers that had brought Gackt here, they would take him back. For that reason, Hideto had tried to distance himself from the assassin.
Gackt made it so difficult to do so, though. He was sweet and kind and a great conversation partner. Hideto couldn’t remember the last time he had just sat down with someone and just talked. Really talk, without any business deals or offers weighing on his partner’s mind. He couldn’t remember the last time he had just enjoyed himself with someone else, because of that someone else. Gackt was funny (sometimes without the intention of trying to be) and just the nicest guy around, the nicest guy to have around.
Hideto knew he had been getting closer and closer to Gackt. He knew that he should’ve stopped himself but, gods, he just hadn’t been able to. He had longed for this companionship for so long that he just couldn’t pull himself away from it.
And now, he knew Gackt was as attached to him as he was to Gackt. Friendship was a two-way street after all. Hideto didn’t know if this was good or bad.
“…I suppose,” Hideto agreed softly as he let his hand fall back to his side from Gackt’s shoulder.
The taller man could see that Hideto was uncomfortable with this topic. Smiling, as if he was trying to tell Hideto that everything would be alright, he soon picked up his book again and returned his attention to that. Hideto followed suit, picking up his magazine and then resting his head in Gackt’s lap again.
He didn’t understand why his heart was beating so fast.
“You have a photoshoot tomorrow?” Gackt asked.
“Yeah, I’m modelling for COVER tomorrow night,” Hideto said, cheerful-he loved changing in and out of new stylish clothes and posing in them. Sometimes, he’d even get to take some outfits home.
“Can I go with you?”
“I think that’ll be alright.”
There were times when Gackt doubted that Hideto was really a model. After all, models were classy, elegant people and Hideto didn’t seem to be anything like that. He slouched and he sometimes lazed about doing nothing, in the most inelegant positions, sprawling out over the couch or bed, sometimes floor when he just felt bored. And, as far as he knew, models didn’t eat-how else would they get so thin? And Hideto seemed to love food, especially the fatty ones. Models were supposed to have sexy bodies and with all the junk that Hideto put into his body, Gackt had doubted that he’d look good in front of a camera.
Now, though, he had no doubts anymore.
Standing in front of a white backdrop, topless and raw and fierce, was Hideto, doing what he did best.
Gackt sat on a chair against the wall, watching with a small smile on his face. Hideto looked good. Hidden under all the clothes he wore every day had been such a beautiful body and Gackt hadn’t even known. His abs were defined but not too much that he’d look like a statue. His hips bones, though, were profound, as were his collar bone and sex lines. Hideto was, in a word, flawless.
Hideto met his eyes for a moment and then smirked, leaving that smirk on his face even as he turned back to the camera. Gackt felt his smile widen.
“What d’you think?” Hideto asked as he approached Gackt afterwards, about to change into another outfit. The focus on what he was currently wearing was the belt and jeans and the photographers had felt that shirts would take away that focus-Gackt supported their thinking.
“You look good,” Gackt simply commented, looking up at Hideto who towered him now in their current positions.
Hideto laughed and then shook his head at Gackt, practically preening and bursting with confidence. “Gackt, darling, that has got to be the understatement of the year.”
“Oh, getting cocky now, huh?” Gackt teased before darting a hand out to poke Hideto in the ribs. The model dodged it barely, mock-glaring at the assassin who feigned innocence.
“Hideto-san!” they both heard the photographer call impatiently.
“Gotta go,” Hideto said before rushing off to the changing room. When he returned, he was wearing a tanktop and a heavy jacket but Gackt had to admit that, even fully-dressed, Hideto was right-’good’ was seriously a huge understatement.
“So, uh…”
Hideto fought the urge to groan.
“Who’s your friend?” Bunta asked from behind Hideto, changing into his own clothes. Bunta had been one of the male models for today’s shoot. Hideto, with Gackt’s presence, had been able to ignore him for most of the shoot but now, they were the only ones left in the dressing room and there was no escaping him.
Hideto grabbed his pants from the chair which he had draped them over. He started to put them on. “Just a friend. Why do you care?”
Bunta chuckled softly, eyes straying to Hideto and then running up his body. He shrugged. “I’m curious. I want to make sure he’s not stealing you from me.’
Hideto fought the urge to groan again but, this time, he failed. The groan was accompanied by a roll of the eyes as well. Bunta seemed unfazed by it.
“Bunta-san, I’m not ‘yours’ to begin with,” Hideto pointed out, irritated, as he zipped up his pants and then reached a hand out in front of Bunta to get his shirt which was on the couch. Before his fingers could even tough it, though, he felt two hands on his body, moving up and down his body slowly. Hideto froze immediately, much to Bunta’s advantage. The taller man pulled Hideto’s body back against himself.
“Of course you are,” Bunta whispered into Hideto’s ear. “You just don’t know it yet, sexy.”
Before Hideto could clearly comprehend what was going on, he was shoved forward roughly and onto the couch. He fell onto one knee on it and, just a second later, Bunta’s body was pressed up against his again and a hand was being shoved down his pants.
Just as he started to struggle, the door open.
“Hideto, they told me I could come see your dressing room!” a cheerful voice, unmistakably Gackt’s, said.
Bunta looked over his shoulder and at Gackt whose smile was starting to fade. Hideto turned his head to look back as well but Bunta’s shoulder blocked most of his view and he could only see Gackt’s eyes. In them, he saw happiness start to change into something else. What was that? His train of thought was interrupted when the hand in his pants started creeping into his underwear. He started to struggle even harder. He just need to get one arm free. Just one arm and this would be over. "Fuck!"
Gackt stared, mortified. Bunta merely grinned back at him.
“Wanna help me out?” Bunta offered. “Or do you just wanna watch?”
“Ugh, you’re a pig.”
Hideto got one arm free from Bunta's hold.
And then Hideto flipped Bunta over his own head and into the wall from which he then slowly slid down onto the couch, moaning in pain. Hideto glared at the other male model before grabbing his bag off the table and slinging it around himself. His shirt was under Bunta, who was still trying to grasp what had just happened, and Hideto didn’t feel like trying to wrestle it out from under him. He didn’t quite want to wear that shirt anymore either, since Bunta had come into contact with it.
Hideto just turned and then walked out of the dressing room. “Come on, Gackt.”
The assassin followed obediently, suddenly very afraid that he might be the next one to get flipped. He couldn’t, however, control himself from staring at Hideto in awe.
Hideto sighed, well aware of the look Gackt was giving him. The other people in the hallway were staring too but only at his body and those were the stares Hideto had already gotten used to. It was Gackt’s that was different. HIdeto could already picture the bewildered look on his face. Proudly, he said, “I know gays are perceived as weak and snivelling little babies that need protecting from tough guys but that’s not true, alright? I took martial arts class for five years and I can take care of myself.”
There was a grin growing on Gackt’s face-he had enjoyed watching that and knowing Bunta was in pain.
“That was very impressive, Hideto,” Gackt commented, practically beaming. He hadn’t known his friend was so cool. He was beautiful, sexy, smart and he could kick ass too. Gackt suddenly felt very proud to be Hideto’s friend.
Hideto heard himself laugh as he turned to Gackt with a happy twinkle in his eye-as much as Gackt had enjoyed watching that, Hideto had enjoyed doing it. God, he wished he could do that to all the phonies around him. It felt good. “Coming from an assassin, that means a lot. Thanks.”
But it was when Hideto turned to him that Gackt realised he looked quite shaken. Gackt reached a hand out to stop him from walking any further, his grin immediately replaced with a tiny frown of concern.
“Are you alright? You seem to be in a state of slight shock,” Gackt said.
“He just caught me off-guard for a moment there,” Hideto claimed, offering Gackt a happy smile. “I’m alright.”
But, even when they were walking to the train station minutes later, Hideto was still shaking a little. Gackt draped his own jacket around Hideto’s shoulders-Hideto had a nice body but he was sure being half-naked in public was considered indecent-and then took Hideto’s hand into his own, offering comfort through touch. And, when Hideto turned to him with the look that asked for an explanation for his actions, Gackt merely smiled and then squeezed his hand.
Hideto’s heart skipped a beat and then started beating faster, as if trying to make up for time lost by the skipped beat.
On the train later, as he looked at his and Gackt’s reflection in the window, what Gackt had said a few days ago came to mind. About shades of grey. About black and white, two distinct things mixing together. Hideto was trapped in a mixture of truths and lies. But he knew what were truths and he knew what were lies.
But he didn’t know what Gackt was.
How could Gackt be a truth when he was actually fake, a video game character? And yet, he couldn’t be a lie either, not when he was always so sincere and honest in everything he said and did.
He realised then that Gackt was neither black or white. In the shades of grey that Hideto was trapped in, Gackt was colour.
Notes: Done at last. I really should be studying for my social studies exam tomorrow but dammit, I’ve been studying it for the past five days and I’m sick, sick, sick of it. I had to do something to relax. ♥