Blah, ignore this all...
Some would, my mom included, say "welcome to adult life!" I haven't even reached it for real and already it's becoming a pain. When I was chatting with one of the cooks at the cafe a few weeks ago, I half-joked about how frustrated I felt. He gave me a cute look and said "yeah, well, I'm frustrated too. Frustrated every damn day!" Is that our collective lot, to be frustrated every damn day? It frightens me.
I feel older than I am and it's all my fault. I've had to grow up a little faster than some. My dad's death, among other things (mostly relating to him), have seemed to mature me a bit, and cause me to be more high-strung. Some people can tell life and reality to fuck off, but I don't seem to be in possession of that extraordinary talent. Pseudo-shrink says that I shouldn't say that, but instead I should tell myself "I just haven't been able to," but what good does that do me either way I cannot fathom to think.
I think instead I would like to go for a long, long drive. Then I could rest my head and stare out of the window. And then you start to hope that your destination is further away than it actually is, so you can sit there and watch for that much longer. Going but not really going anywhere.
I stayed up late, slept until 1 or 2 in the afternoon, and have barely seen the light of day, which could be adding to my mood. Usually I like it to get dark early, but for the sake of it all I might as well do my part and start getting up early, or something else, wave a desk lamp around my face, say.
The most interesting of spam mail gets sent to my msu mail account. Usually it's for fake rolex watches, viagra, cialis, and so on, and at the end some paragraph seemingly taken from a book and run through the babel fish translator. Better than the solicitor from Nigeria letters my hardly-used yahoo account seems to favor.
I feel older than I am and it's all my fault. I've had to grow up a little faster than some. My dad's death, among other things (mostly relating to him), have seemed to mature me a bit, and cause me to be more high-strung. Some people can tell life and reality to fuck off, but I don't seem to be in possession of that extraordinary talent. Pseudo-shrink says that I shouldn't say that, but instead I should tell myself "I just haven't been able to," but what good does that do me either way I cannot fathom to think.
I think instead I would like to go for a long, long drive. Then I could rest my head and stare out of the window. And then you start to hope that your destination is further away than it actually is, so you can sit there and watch for that much longer. Going but not really going anywhere.
I stayed up late, slept until 1 or 2 in the afternoon, and have barely seen the light of day, which could be adding to my mood. Usually I like it to get dark early, but for the sake of it all I might as well do my part and start getting up early, or something else, wave a desk lamp around my face, say.
The most interesting of spam mail gets sent to my msu mail account. Usually it's for fake rolex watches, viagra, cialis, and so on, and at the end some paragraph seemingly taken from a book and run through the babel fish translator. Better than the solicitor from Nigeria letters my hardly-used yahoo account seems to favor.