i've been worrying
recently i've been having this thought, and i've been trying to think of a way to put it into words without making me seem like something's seriously mentally wrong with me, but it seems like that's impossible.
so here i go. the thing is, sometimes i'll lie in bed in the morning having just woken up, and just before actually getting up i'll think of how i'm the person making the decisions in my life. clearly i wouldn't have it any other way, but occasionally this is something that scares me, in an inexplicable way. i can't think of a word other than qualified, so am i really qualified to be making these decisions? what i eat and drink, when i get up or go to bed or how much time i spend on uni work. realistically i wouldn't want anyone else to make them for me, but sometimes i can imagine that actually being what i want. i don't know, it's a strange thing.
has anyone else thought about this before?
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