on bikram yoga and being lovely
so first things first. since i decided to stop continuously talking myself down, i've felt much better. with telling myself i'm lovely i feel like i've actually created space to show myself that i'm lovely. there's not as much ludicrous pressure to be absolutely perfect, and with that not giving myself space to be anything at all. three words did what months of training couldn't. i am lovely. i feel so comfortable with that, because when your starting point is 'i am lovely', everything you do wrong is just sort of okay. it blows sometimes, but it's not as bad as when your starting point is 'i pretty much suck'. then everything you're not happy with just makes it all so much more terrible.
i'm not sure if my words are getting the feeling across, but nonetheless, i'm supremely happy with this outcome. i feel better about myself. period.
onto something else. bikram yoga. i had my first class yesterday because i got into a conversation with boy and he offered to drag me along. seeing as i like to say 'yes' to life, i told him i'd come. i'm not afraid to say i'm a wimpy little girl, so this whole bikram yoga ordeal made a pretty big impact. i've barely shut up about it since. it was super hardcore and intense for me, and i'm still not entirely sure whether it's something i'd like to do more often. i'm definetly going for a second class, but after that.. we'll see.
nonetheless, i'm proud of how i did. there were only maybe two postures i didn't do because i was breathing through the nausea, and that was towards the end. i did everything else, and not terribly. having a background in dance probably helped, since i'm used to instructions and i mostly know how to work with my body, as well as having a pretty decent balance, so i do feel like i've got a bit of a head start, if that makes sense. the funniest part was where i laid down in (what the internet tells me, because i couldn't possibly remember) fixed firm pose, and the (somewhat older, balding, pudgy around the waist) dude, sitting up, softly asked me "first time?" to which i nodded. he then quietly scoffed and said "show off."
afterwards, i went to a party with my jelly legs and mushy brains, but i'm actually really glad i went, because the people were lovely, and some of the new ones i met insisted on me coming dancing with them sometime soon. i'm so glad i've got the guts to go to parties alone, i would've missed out on a lot if i hadn't.
now it's sleepy time for achy and slightly weepy me. there's more to say but tomorrow means work, so off to dreamland i go.
goodnight, and have a wonderful new years eve, all ♥
i'm not sure if my words are getting the feeling across, but nonetheless, i'm supremely happy with this outcome. i feel better about myself. period.
onto something else. bikram yoga. i had my first class yesterday because i got into a conversation with boy and he offered to drag me along. seeing as i like to say 'yes' to life, i told him i'd come. i'm not afraid to say i'm a wimpy little girl, so this whole bikram yoga ordeal made a pretty big impact. i've barely shut up about it since. it was super hardcore and intense for me, and i'm still not entirely sure whether it's something i'd like to do more often. i'm definetly going for a second class, but after that.. we'll see.
nonetheless, i'm proud of how i did. there were only maybe two postures i didn't do because i was breathing through the nausea, and that was towards the end. i did everything else, and not terribly. having a background in dance probably helped, since i'm used to instructions and i mostly know how to work with my body, as well as having a pretty decent balance, so i do feel like i've got a bit of a head start, if that makes sense. the funniest part was where i laid down in (what the internet tells me, because i couldn't possibly remember) fixed firm pose, and the (somewhat older, balding, pudgy around the waist) dude, sitting up, softly asked me "first time?" to which i nodded. he then quietly scoffed and said "show off."
afterwards, i went to a party with my jelly legs and mushy brains, but i'm actually really glad i went, because the people were lovely, and some of the new ones i met insisted on me coming dancing with them sometime soon. i'm so glad i've got the guts to go to parties alone, i would've missed out on a lot if i hadn't.
now it's sleepy time for achy and slightly weepy me. there's more to say but tomorrow means work, so off to dreamland i go.
goodnight, and have a wonderful new years eve, all ♥