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[drunkenmusician]

So I was going to post some stuff on fictionpress, but I can't decide what genre they are. So I'm slapping them up here in a cut. Feel free to read them and let me know what you think. Or feel free not to. Whatever floats your boat.

I Will Be Home Then

The hand holding the letter began to shake. With a cry, Colleen fell to the floor

Comments

[drunkenmusician]

I agree with you on the first one. I always kind of felt like it's too short, but I'm just not sure how to extend it, and to keep that extension from being cheesey and lame. Although I think it's so short that it's almost cheesey already. Personally, I didn't imagine the tree being in their yard, exactly. I thought of them kind of walking home on a long country road, and there's a tree just half-way home or something. Maybe a few hundred yards from the house. I think somebody else told me that about the tree though, before, I just have to figure out how to make the tree-placement more specific.

For number two: I think you read it then, too. It was originally called Rudolph, when all of them were just titled after their main characters (more of a Spoon River type deal). Same deal with the length. I kind of had that problem a lot with almost everything I was writing at this point. Again, I just wasn't sure what else to put in. I'll try some of those things, though, and see what comes out.

I think I agree with you on most of the points for Esther, too. When I wrote it, it seemed alright, but now it feels really awkward.

I think most of the problem I have with these, especially in length, is that I can't type as fast as the story gets played out in my mind, and after a certain amount of time, I get really sick of it and just want it to end.

[thatswhthesaid]

I know what you mean about the whole knowing you need lenght but not really sure how to add it thing. It's difficult. Usually I just leave something, and wait until I can't sleep, then I've got a billion ideas for it...then you can add something to it? I dunno. And yeah, the tree is still a little confusing...

Props for Spoon River. I need to actually sit down and read the whole thing--that's public domain by this point, yeah? -scuttles over to Project Gutenberg-

I know what you're saying, alot of times I just stop when I get sick of something. Then I forget what I was thinking of doing, so I've got a really fun four pages of...plot-less dribble. Just don't abandon the story. Keep poking it with a stick until it breathes something halfway worthwile.

[drunkenmusician]

Yeah. I just have to wait a while until I can stand it again.

And yeah, Spoon River's public domain. http://www.bartleby.com/84/index1.html

[thatswhthesaid]

Nice. -le click-

This comment is an excuse to use another icon. :D

[drunkenmusician]

I do like your icons. XD

And your layout. I want one.

[thatswhthesaid]

Why thank you~

I got the layout from someone in http://community.livejournal.com/freelayouts/profile
they usually post the code to for it too, so you don't have do the whole "GLOBAL HEAD JUNK JUNK SPAN A CONFUSED" Yeah.

[thatswhthesaid]

Also, I like that the boys aren't like...suppppppper hot. They're just like...guys you know and go to school with but yet somehow cannot quite date even though they're not superstars. (They might be from a band. I dunno...I don't really care. I just like gay boys.)