(no subject)
i feel like hell.
when is this going to break? when will i feel better? what the fuck is wrong with me?
i just want to be in my bed. i want everything to stop being my fault. i want my father to love me again. i want to stop being blamed for every problem, every frustration, every mishap. i want things to go right for once in my life. i want to have fun and be happy without this huge cloud of...something...nervousness, fear, guilt, something....hanging over me. i want to love and be loved without worrying what my father will think, how he will react. i want to make everyone happy, instead of upsetting everyone. i just...want this all to end. now.
i want to be in bed.
i feel like hell.
when is this going to break? when will i feel better? what the fuck is wrong with me?
i just want to be in my bed. i want everything to stop being my fault. i want my father to love me again. i want to stop being blamed for every problem, every frustration, every mishap. i want things to go right for once in my life. i want to have fun and be happy without this huge cloud of...something...nervousness, fear, guilt, something....hanging over me. i want to love and be loved without worrying what my father will think, how he will react. i want to make everyone happy, instead of upsetting everyone. i just...want this all to end. now.
i want to be in bed.
i feel like hell.