prudential makies me feel like there's not enough hours in my days. especially when they've changed our schedule to from 9:45 to 6:15. i might try to work myself up to going to the gym in morning so i'll have more time in the evening, but that might just make me into a wet noodle for the day.
last night i was getting my 4minute fix and i thought to myself that i so want to be hyuna's stalker. i want to be that freak sobbing at her shows, screaming her name like a baby. maybe i'm just a little bit lonely. so i thought that last night would be a good night to rewatch the criminal minds episode "somebody's watching" which i had skipped in my run through of the first season. my memory told me that it wasn't that great, but it is reid-centric, and has amber heard, and a stalker lesbian storyline so it seemed appropriate. but i didn't get around to it because mom and dad were watching football so i ended up waching "north mammon" on ion, commercials and all. but then tonight i found out that amber heard, aside from being hot and frequently naked, is in fact a lesbian. yeah, i'm kind of psyched, ngl. so obviously "somebody's watching" got watched. better than i remembered, but still not wonderful. the crazy psycho lesbian is now in bones, in a role that she's much better at playing. amazing how much more attractive she looks when she's the leading male's love interest and she has to compete with emily deschanel. oh and the pool makeout scene was way hotter than i remembered. didn't think i could get it up for hetero stuff anymore, but when it comes down to it, get two atrociously good looking people wet and in each other's faces, there really isn't any way that's wrong.
spending a couple months in the steady office working environment has got me really thinking about how important it is to me to get to do something i enjoy for a living. because the fact of the matter is that i don't have much of a life. when i'm not working i'm on the computer, lounging about or whatever. i'm not in the habit of socializing or partying. and while i do hope to evolve some as time goes on, the basic structure will undoubtedly remain the same. so if i don't enjoy what i get paid to do i'm really not going to have much to show for my life. thankfully, with these thoughts comes more serious, confident thoughts about my writing. granted, i am always thinking seriously about my writing, but right now it all feels very attainable. maybe its the dawning of the new year, and the fact that this past year has been really good to me. i'm on the edge of something big i think.
this weekend was nice. we put up the christmas tree and the outside lights. i was in such a bad mood coming home from work last night but as soon as i saw our twinkling bulbs i felt happy. we went to south windsor to celebrate grandma's birthday. there are so many babies on dad's side of the family now, the youngest barely even two months old. they're all strange and smart and fascinating. vidal was watching as brynn, who is i think around a year in a half now, discovered how to carry her toys more efficiently. she picked up a bowl she found, felt it out to check out it size, tested what she could put in it, removed what she didn't want and kept what she did and walked off happy and triumphant. how nice it would be to have simple problems like that again, and solving them would be exciting rather than tedious.
and now just because this is what rihanna's video for te amo should've looked like
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