And so it seems i'm too much like my father...

[drunken_slut]

and that shouldn't even be a bad thing. he had strong values and knew what was ethical and what wasn't. he was humble. he had a sense of right and wrong. he was the person i want to be

Comments

[pixsky]

Accepting help when you need it does not make you weak. It does not make you self-serving, or selfish, and it does not make you Toadface. When you have your consultation, tell them how hard it has been for you. Tell them it's been especially hard because you haven't felt able to open up to anyone, and that you're trying so hard to be strong and people are misinterpreting 'strong' as 'okay', where they shouldn't. The special consideration stuff is all there for people who, like you, have had to put up with all kinds of things that the vast majority of their classmates have not had to cope with. Med's hard enough as it is without life getting in the way! Accepting the help that you need is not milking the situation, and it's not an unfair advantage -it's levelling the playing field a bit.

Incidentally, I haven't met Toadface, but I really want to punch her. Or at the very least, make some "flippant remarks" that are deeply cruel and cutting, and then when she gets offended, start crying that she doesn't understand me and she shouldn't be so mean as to find my lack of human decency disturbing.

*Hugs* I posted today for you, but I was pretty exhausted so I don't know if anything will make any sense. Take care of yourself, and let me know if there's ever anything I can do for you - listen, talk, bake cookies, beat up TF... anything you need.

[drunken_slut]

aw, thankyou....

not sure how consultation went. i'm so emotionally fucked at the moment that just don't even care anymore. had a talk to one of the ladies and said what i think and how things are and seve wrote laurin a letter just saying pretty much that 'strong doesn't mean ok' and think that helped.

still want to bash toadface but figure the best way to destroy her would be do it when she least suspects so she can't cry etc/ and get the sympathy she doesn't deserve. SO have 'patched things up' with her in that i'm not her friend but there's not outward bitchiness (there wasn't to begin with so i'm not actually doing anything) but this way the rest of the group aren't feeling all divided and awkward coz that's what was happening an didn't want that at all...

have now got a kitten and his innocence and cuteness has softened me and made me think and realise that i'd rather be like dad than not....

and just so you know i'm not just laying down and taking crap, toadface is going to get what she deserves, just waiting for THE moment when i can burst into tears in class and make her feel horrible and insensitive. wish i'd done that the first time she made me walk out of class but guess live and learn.

thankyou so much... made me feel better and more justified if i fight for what i guess i should have.... thankyou muchly!...

and don't worry, you ALWAYS make sense :)

[pixsky]

Aw, kitten love!
Does he have a name yet?
(Sorry, but... kitten... these things are obligatory)

Damn straight you're justified in fighting for your rights. What sucks is that the system is so screwed up that you even have to fight, even have to question yourself and get more stressed and worred. That's not right at all.

I'll be home in just under a week, for a fortnight. If you're not too crazy busy and you want to see me and anyone else, I'm happy to bring a carload up to Sale. No pressure though, if things are a bit crazy or you're just not feeling up to people, that's okay too. Take care of yourself!

[drunken_slut]

would love a carload of love! so whatever suits you in the dates, i gave you, let me know and i'll get beds ready!

his name is atticus/atti (to kill a mockingbird) and he's a mischief but cute enough to get away with things.

system is shit but can't change it till we have some authority and power i guess.... becoming such a passive person these days...