where are u now, right at this second?
i'm clearly at home. on my own. Not at shree's house warming like everyone else.
taxied everyone there tho, coz quite simply wasn't in a hurry to get home.
sucks that i feel crappy and not just not-fantastic, but not-good. there were too many not's in that... what i mean is that i feel crap so so often. and i'm not trying to feel fantastic all the time, all i want is when i feel bad, that it's not i-want-to-die sadness, or he-doesn't-really-care sadness or whats-the-point-of-such-a-mundane-life sadness... it's shoudl be justified and at least slightly rational sadness.
i think it's clear that i'm thinking. a lot. to be fiar i was thinking earlier, i just didn't want to say anythign to seve, coz i'm tired of getting sad, then him getting sad cos he either can't cheer me up or cos i say something i shouldn't.
anyway
should sleep. tomorrow i only start at 11. but not sure if i want to go to seve's in the morning... we briefly discussed it and he's like 'yeah, come over' and i'm like 'no, u'll be sleepy' and to be honest (unless my mood flips incredibly in the next few hours) i don't want to be there while he sleeps off a hangover. i'd rather just stay at home. so, i figure if he msgs me, then i'll come over. if not then i'll leave him to sleep.
i can't be bothered going out of my way and being clingy and stuff. want him to take effort.
taxied everyone there tho, coz quite simply wasn't in a hurry to get home.
sucks that i feel crappy and not just not-fantastic, but not-good. there were too many not's in that... what i mean is that i feel crap so so often. and i'm not trying to feel fantastic all the time, all i want is when i feel bad, that it's not i-want-to-die sadness, or he-doesn't-really-care sadness or whats-the-point-of-such-a-mundane-life sadness... it's shoudl be justified and at least slightly rational sadness.
i think it's clear that i'm thinking. a lot. to be fiar i was thinking earlier, i just didn't want to say anythign to seve, coz i'm tired of getting sad, then him getting sad cos he either can't cheer me up or cos i say something i shouldn't.
anyway
should sleep. tomorrow i only start at 11. but not sure if i want to go to seve's in the morning... we briefly discussed it and he's like 'yeah, come over' and i'm like 'no, u'll be sleepy' and to be honest (unless my mood flips incredibly in the next few hours) i don't want to be there while he sleeps off a hangover. i'd rather just stay at home. so, i figure if he msgs me, then i'll come over. if not then i'll leave him to sleep.
i can't be bothered going out of my way and being clingy and stuff. want him to take effort.