KOALA DOESN'T WISH YOU HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY
There really needs to be some qualifications for Mother's Day.
Getting drunk and then bitching at me because your life didn't turn out JUST AS PLANNED, disqualifies you.
Deciding to visit your dick on Mother's Day instead of me, disqualifies you.
Acting like the child instead of the parent, disqualifies you.
Maybe if you planned to come over I would have gotten you something.
I don't want to hear you cry about how I didn't get you anything for Mother's Day this year or last year.
Even if I did get you something, you'd be happier with a bottle of vodka.
I'm not old enough to legally get you some vodka, so sorry about that.
Sorry for being such a horrible spawn.
Here's to next year!
You'll eventually get it right.
It's never too late to act like a real mother! =D
Too bad you can't understand why I'm so on the fence with you.
It's not very fun hearing about how you don't have to be my mom anymore, at least once a week for the past year.
Since you feel like you are no longer obligated by law to act like a mother, I'm not obligated to celebrate a day for you.
Haha, I just love how I just portrayed mother as an uncaring alcoholic.
She's been so not ftw for the past couple of years, that's where all the faux-hate comes from.
Poor mom, she tries so hard but can never get it right. I love her, I really do -- only when she's not drunk.
You know, I think the person who invented Mother's Day was the kid who picked on the little orphan that was abandoned by both parents.
The little orphan was abandoned because the parents were still in high school and everything didn't go as planned.
I think this may be the same person who invented Father's Day. Nice going there douche bag.
I can't wait until Father's Day to share some choice words. =D
Getting drunk and then bitching at me because your life didn't turn out JUST AS PLANNED, disqualifies you.
Deciding to visit your dick on Mother's Day instead of me, disqualifies you.
Acting like the child instead of the parent, disqualifies you.
Maybe if you planned to come over I would have gotten you something.
I don't want to hear you cry about how I didn't get you anything for Mother's Day this year or last year.
Even if I did get you something, you'd be happier with a bottle of vodka.
I'm not old enough to legally get you some vodka, so sorry about that.
Sorry for being such a horrible spawn.
Here's to next year!
You'll eventually get it right.
It's never too late to act like a real mother! =D
Too bad you can't understand why I'm so on the fence with you.
It's not very fun hearing about how you don't have to be my mom anymore, at least once a week for the past year.
Since you feel like you are no longer obligated by law to act like a mother, I'm not obligated to celebrate a day for you.
Haha, I just love how I just portrayed mother as an uncaring alcoholic.
She's been so not ftw for the past couple of years, that's where all the faux-hate comes from.
Poor mom, she tries so hard but can never get it right. I love her, I really do -- only when she's not drunk.
You know, I think the person who invented Mother's Day was the kid who picked on the little orphan that was abandoned by both parents.
The little orphan was abandoned because the parents were still in high school and everything didn't go as planned.
I think this may be the same person who invented Father's Day. Nice going there douche bag.
I can't wait until Father's Day to share some choice words. =D