Various Lessons Learned in New York
About a week and a half ago, my boss asked me if I'd be willing to go to New York for a week to work. Apparently, the people at the bank we bought (North Fork) needed some data help from me. Now considering that I've never been to New York City for an extended period of time (only once on an uber-touristy trip while I was in High School) and the place is about 25 miles east of Manhattan, I jumped at the chance. I then find out that they wear suits and ties every day. Since I only own one suit, I head out to Men's Warehouse and buy another. Small price to pay, right?
So, now it's Saturday night and I'm at my hotel, waiting to head back tomorrow afternoon. Here's a summary of my stay:
Saturday
I get in, head to the hotel, then look for places that sound like fun on Citysearch. I pick out one place in particular - Lucky 13, in Brooklyn. I pick up a railroad schedule, and head to the train station... Well, I tried to at least. I missed the 5:30 train, so I went to Starbucks to kill some time. Leave there, then I can't for the life of me find the train station. I finally spot it after driving around in this little town for almost half an hour, missing the 6:30. From what I was told, the station was easy to find... Apparently they were wrong. I had also heard that you can drink on the train, so I picked up a 6 pack of Sam Adams at the gas station before I went back for the 7:30. I hop on the train, then I realize that I didn't have my bottle opener, and Sam Adams bottles are not twist-off. Fuck. I debate trying to use my belt buckle, but I figure that it'd be best for me if I didn't look like I was trying to get intimate with a beer bottle. So I hop off the train, carry the 6-pack around for a bit, then just drop it off on the street and walk away.
Now, I didn't know the exact address of this place, but I did know it was on 13th. I also knew it was by a subway. However, I couldn't figure out the subway (and couldn't find a subway map, either..), so I was screwed there. I decided to just walk there. So here I am, I've been in the city for less than 12 hours and I'm walking through Brooklyn alone at night. Luckily, nothing happened to me. I finally find the bar, walk in, order a beer, try to open a tab, and they say it's cash only. I look in my wallet, see that I have $8, and say "Fuck." I then switch down to PBR, since it's only $2 a can there. Once that's done, I leave for the nearest ATM, then come right back. I have a great time at the bar, wailing along to Strapping Young Lad and Lamb of God on the jukebox and talking to a bunch of random people. Then, they say "Last call!". I look at my watch and it's 4 AM. Shit, they really know how to party in this city. I head out, attempt to hail a cab and fail miserably, so I (drunkenly) trek back a mile and a half to Flatbush. I'm starving, so I stop by Dunkin Donuts at like 4:30 AM for "breakfast". I then walk to the train station, and see that the next train back to Farmingdale leaves at... 6 AM. What the hell!?!?!. So, I sit on the train station steps, drink my coffee, eat my donut, and wait.
... Next thing I know, a cop's waking me up, saying that I've been here for a long time and should get moving. I look down at my watch, and it's 6:30. Again, I find myself muttering "Shit". I then tell the cops the most obvious statement of the year - "I missed my train." They tell me that another's leaving shortly after 7. Once they walk off, I check for my stuff. Wallet - check. Cell phone - check. MP3 player - check. Sunglasses - check. Car keys - check. Holy shit, I passed out in the train station and wasn't robbed. I wait for the 7 AM train, hop on, then we head to Jamacia to switch trains. I wait for my connection, and in my drunken, drowsy stupor, pick the wrong one. I ask the ticket-taker on the train what I should do, and he says "Head back to Jamaica. There's a bulletin board that will tell you what you need to know." So, it's now 8 AM, and he wants me to wait for the next westbound train, hop on that for one stop, then take the correct train back out? Forget that. I get a cabbie to drive me halfway across Long Island at 8 AM, and put it on the corporate card. I get back to the hotel at 8:30 and pass out. Great start to my trip.
Sunday/Monday
Pretty boring. I drive into the city and end up in Union square, so I bum around there for a bit. Monday, I head to work and go out to this uber-trendy place by where I work for happy hour. Apparently for this place, Tanqueray is a well liquor, and Gin and Tonics made from it cost $11 normally. Hell, if Tanq's that expensive, I'd hate to see how much something NOT in the well costs. I leave after a quick dinner and a few drinks. I get a few tips of places to check out in Manhattan from others at the bar.
Tuesday
Work, then I drive into town after I missed the 6:30 train, and didn't want to wait for the 8 PM train in. So, I park at (where I thought was) a few blocks from the bar that was recommended to me. I ended up being about 15 blocks from the place. Oh well, more walking isn't a bad thing. I head into this bar (McSorley's), and it's pretty cool. Unfortunately, nobody was there. So, I grab one of their beers and continue wandering. I stopped at a bunch of bars, and most of them were cash only. Again, what the fuck is this? I'm trying to use my per diem allowance on my card, and I can't. My favorites were McSorley's, Cheap Shots, and Identity. But, back to my story. I eventually make it to this place called Identity, and they actually take my card. I have a beer or two, then look at my watch. It's 1 AM. I'm drunk. I have to be at work at 8:30. My car is here. This is bad. At this point I switch to red bull (which the bartender was buying for me) and water. I sit in the bar, BS with the bartender girl (who thought I was 30... sometimes I think this goatee ages me too much) and a few other people at the bar, including the stereotypical gay asian guy. Last call comes and goes, and I'm still feeling a little too bad to drive. So, the group of people I was chatting with at the bar and I wandered looking for food at some diner that one of them heard was good. We get there, it's 5 AM, and the place is closed. Luckily, we were like 2 blocks from my car, and I felt good to drive. So, I hopped in, got back to the hotel without a hitch, and then looked at the clock. 5:53. Shit on me, I have to be at work in 2 hours.
Wednesday
I wake up 2 hours later, hop in the shower, then try to make myself look presentable. Stop in the cafeteria, buy a fruit salad and 2 cans of red bull. Down them immediately, then start nursing my coffee, diet coke, additional red bulls, and anything else with caffeine that I can get my hands on. I feel miserable, and the people at work are all amazed that I'm still awake. I head home a bit early, but I'm so doped up on caffeine that I can't get to sleep until like 10.
Thursday
Get to work, end up finishing everything that I need to do for the week around 2:30, so the guy at work has me give him my cell phone number in case they need something more, and says that I'm free to leave. SWEET! More free time in the city. So I look for places in Manhattan that sound interesting, write a few down, and head to the train station. Miss my train by a few minutes, so I catch the next one in. Actually figure out the subway, so I take that down to the Lower East Side, where all of the places that sounded cool were at. I check them all out (let's see, No Malice Palace was pretty cool, Ace was alright, Vazac Rest was surprisingly cool for a place I just wandered into - they had Clutch on their jukebox and the [female] bartender bought me a Jack and Diet after having only two pints of Yuengling, a couple other places sucked hard, and then some place was really cool, but I can't remember its name, and only have a vague idea of where it was. I leave a bit early, thinking that I might catch an earlier train to Farmingdale. Doesn't happen. Next train leaves at 5. I hop on it, then almost miss my connection, but a cop wakes me up while I'm sitting on the train and tells me where to go. Make it home around 7.
Friday
Wake up at about 11 for some odd reason. Decide to head into the city early and explore. Get to Penn Station around 4, wander up 5th street, see Central Park for a bit, wander all over the upper east side, and finally get in contact with a friend of mine from college who lives up here. He tells me he's going to get out of work around 9, so I chill and wait for him. We get out, decide to head to the Lower East Side (see a pattern? apparently that's where all of the not-so-insanely-expensive places are). Check a few of those out, then he gets the great idea to go to a strip club. I say that I don't want to pay for blue balls, but he's adamant about going, saying that he's not paying for blue balls. We go in, I'm not spending anything, he's blowing cash on lap dances, strip club beer, etc. I buy a beer so that I don't look completely out of place. I end up telling like 6 of the girls that no, I didn't want a massage or a lap dance. Surprisingly, I found that to be the best part of the night. Last call comes. We leave, he mentions something about needing pussy (in other words, he blew a bunch of cash to get blue balls) and wanders off. I head back to Penn Station, immediately grab a train that's heading to Farmingdale, then get in around 6.
Saturday
I wake up at about 11 to my phone telling me that I got a message. Apparently, my friend didn't make it in last night, and they found my number through facebook and called me at about 6:30 to figure out where he was. I call them back, and apparently he got lost (and I thought he was heading to the nearest subway stop) and confused, then fell down and got even more confused. Police found him, drove him to the hospital. Also, my feet were friggin sore. They realized that I had probably walked a good 6 miles the previous day in shoes that aren't made for such extended jaunts. So I've stayed in the hotel room today. That killed my plans for heading back to Manhattan this afternoon, but whatever. I've spent enough cash as-is. Furthermore, this gives me plenty of time to pack up, relax, etc.
So, lessons learned from my trip to New York City:
1) Last call is at 4, and the trains don't come back until 6 or so on weekdays.
2) There is more than one eastbound train.
3) Don't drive into Manhattan.
4) A lot of bars are cash only.
5) Don't pass out in public.
6) Telling strippers 'No' is good fun.
7) NYC cops are surprisingly helpful.
8) (If you work at North Fork) You can do breakfast + lunch for $5
9) Don't stay out till 4 when you have to be at work at 8:30.
10) When I come back for a vacation, I'm staying in the city and not renting a car.
11) You don't need much sleep when you're in the city that never does.
So, yeah, that was my week. Loads of fun, but once my lack of sleep really registers with me, I'm screwed. Oh well, at least I didn't go out today. Trying to pack while dead tired and/or drunk would suck. Fun times, fun times.