We Just Don't Get It.

[drunkaholic]

I'm just so tired of being hurt, every time I turn around, I allow myself to trust someone, and EVERY TIME they either hurt me, or time takes us separate ways. and i HATE it. I'm so sick of it all. I used to be happy(ish), I was so ungrateful for everything I had. I had friends, who at the time- I guess- cared, but all I hoped for was change,

Comments

stand tall

[mymasklifted]

I never thought you hated me..maybe afraid of it..but i know youre not like that and never have been..ive just thought for the longest time now you strongly disliked me..the thing i regret the most now is not going to you after and telling you how sorry i was..how it does hurt me now that were not friends and above all that its my fault..i was too stubborn n believed things were better left unsaid cz no matter what youd still feel the same..and if you would then thats understandable but to at least try to save a friendship which kept me happy for so long wouldve been worth it even if things didnt end the way i had wished.. Somewhat i know how you feel..ive lost all my friends either because of me which hurts so bad knowing you lost something good cause of your own actions...and because they have drifted or hurt me..and for so long i wore a mask..thats why i have this name..i dont want to wear a mask anymore..i dont want people to think that i dont care that i hurt them..cz i do and it eats away at me everyday and hiding it just makes it ten times worse..it eats away at me to wear a mask and make the people that hurt me believe im fine and ive gotten over it...cz i havent..so now i refuse to do any of it...to those people i hurt..im sorry and i wanna make it known to them..that it does bother me that someone that made me so happy once..the people who i got to trust me..i hurt..but i can wear a mask all i want and it wont make a difference to me..cz either way..it will still eat away at me..i know im more vulnerable showing the people i hurt and who hurt me that i care cz they can shut me down and know that ill care what they say..but its better than hiding...i used to be afraid to reach out to you..cz you always seemed like youre walls up..as if you were strong and acted as though you didnt need anyones help..thats why i pushed you..cz i wanted to show you that you dont need to go through things alone..and i know that you were strong but no matter how strong you are you cant go through everything alone..and although i fucked up..im not every1 else..not every1 will hurt you..i should say that you shouldnt have to go through everything alone..but if you choose to..you can..youre strong and independent...thats the thing ive always admired about you..dont let the people who hurt to you get to you or what they did get to you...know that you were there friend you were the one who wouldve never left their side and their the ones who will realize it one day and regret it...believe me...theyll regret it..