Stuck
You know it's bad, when the stars in your life's skies align and the oracles all start to sing the same song.
Sometimes it's not that the answers, unwavering, advise the same course of action, sometimes its in the consistency of the questioning. The solution hidden, all along, in the way the questions were asked, over and over different phrasing, same intent. The magic mirror only ever reflected what you already knew.
I've always known what needs to be done, but I've always needed to see how bad it can get. In one particular case, so many years ago, it got very very bad. Although... I've always been like water, or a plant that grows, vines and roots around and over the obstacle. I'm not one who believes in standing firm and unyielding. There is strength is avoidance. There is strength in bending.
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I don't want you to hate me. I don't want you to think badly of me, but most of all... I don't want to lose you. At least if we're still arguing, you're still here. If you hate me, you're still emotionally engaged.
But I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to feel less stressed. I don't know how not to walk on eggshells around you when you've lost your temper, when you're moody. I don't know how to communicate and to get through to you so we can be less stressful towards each other, so I disconnect.
Someone teach me how to do this. But perhaps it is already too late.
Sometimes it's not that the answers, unwavering, advise the same course of action, sometimes its in the consistency of the questioning. The solution hidden, all along, in the way the questions were asked, over and over different phrasing, same intent. The magic mirror only ever reflected what you already knew.
I've always known what needs to be done, but I've always needed to see how bad it can get. In one particular case, so many years ago, it got very very bad. Although... I've always been like water, or a plant that grows, vines and roots around and over the obstacle. I'm not one who believes in standing firm and unyielding. There is strength is avoidance. There is strength in bending.
----------
I don't want you to hate me. I don't want you to think badly of me, but most of all... I don't want to lose you. At least if we're still arguing, you're still here. If you hate me, you're still emotionally engaged.
But I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to feel less stressed. I don't know how not to walk on eggshells around you when you've lost your temper, when you're moody. I don't know how to communicate and to get through to you so we can be less stressful towards each other, so I disconnect.
Someone teach me how to do this. But perhaps it is already too late.