. . . 2006 ??
yes many years ago when I was very young, I had nightmares about a time in my life when I was so alone it was terrifying.
well, as it turns out, over the past summer I have experienced a great increase in very specific incidents of deja vu . . . entire dialogues word-for-word and entire sequences of events;;; I recalled them all to the tee ... ... ...
imagine that entire days had happened before, in dreamland some fifteen years ago!
deja vu aside, I do not appreciate the way it is panning out anyway. the general attitude among people is soooo fake and soooo negative ...and it stinks. everywhere I go there is a terrible, noxious suspicion that I can't shake off; a suspicion that something has already gone terribly wrong, and that the effects of which are even now spiralling, sprawling out irreversibly.
I think this is that time of my life, that time when I was so alone it was terrifying. even during those dreams I recalled the "good old days" (subsequent to the days I was actually in bed dreaming it, strangely enough) when I used to have friends and relationships and cake and everything nice. the situation has changed in a dire manner, and I never imagined that would happen.
... ... ... did I forget my social skills? nah, cos if I did then I wouldn't have as much success at making people give me their money (at the carnival).
... ... ... did I stop caring about people? no way. consistently I keep others in the here & now as my top top top priority.
... ... ... did I loose something that people want? maybe, perhaps. but for now I can't imagine what that would likely be......
anyway I'm signing off.
hopefully someday soon I will instead write about the merry times I had travelling on the road with the carnival, working long days at the highland festivals.
well, as it turns out, over the past summer I have experienced a great increase in very specific incidents of deja vu . . . entire dialogues word-for-word and entire sequences of events;;; I recalled them all to the tee ... ... ...
imagine that entire days had happened before, in dreamland some fifteen years ago!
deja vu aside, I do not appreciate the way it is panning out anyway. the general attitude among people is soooo fake and soooo negative ...and it stinks. everywhere I go there is a terrible, noxious suspicion that I can't shake off; a suspicion that something has already gone terribly wrong, and that the effects of which are even now spiralling, sprawling out irreversibly.
I think this is that time of my life, that time when I was so alone it was terrifying. even during those dreams I recalled the "good old days" (subsequent to the days I was actually in bed dreaming it, strangely enough) when I used to have friends and relationships and cake and everything nice. the situation has changed in a dire manner, and I never imagined that would happen.
... ... ... did I forget my social skills? nah, cos if I did then I wouldn't have as much success at making people give me their money (at the carnival).
... ... ... did I stop caring about people? no way. consistently I keep others in the here & now as my top top top priority.
... ... ... did I loose something that people want? maybe, perhaps. but for now I can't imagine what that would likely be......
anyway I'm signing off.
hopefully someday soon I will instead write about the merry times I had travelling on the road with the carnival, working long days at the highland festivals.