"its all downhill from here"
if it wasnt for everyone i know, knew, or just met, i wouldnt wake up in the morning. even if i just met you, or all you know about me is my name. i keep myself going to be around all of you. in total honesty im never happy. not ever anymore. i poured my life out tonight. everything i think to myself all the time came out. and i found the thing that keeps me going. people. my best friends, my good friends, girls, guys, parents, teachers, people i just met the other day and thought they were hot who probably dont give a damn whether i live or die, or people i just started talking to. if it wasnt for all the people i know i wouldnt be around. i hope i never become a social outkast. but then again no one would care if i died. my whole life for the past few weeks has been a lie. everytime i smiled i lied. everytime i laughed i lied. everytime i had fun i lied. inside im truly never happy. i cant act how i really feel or all id ever get out of people is "are you ok" "whats wrong" "wanna talk about it". no go somewhere and fuck yourself. the way i operate is not at all in response to what people want. i open up to people when i feel the need. i absolutly hate when people take it upon themselves to try and help me. i will open up to whom i choose. i wanna be happy and its not getting any better. everyday i feel worse and worse. fuck.
ANDY
ANDY