(no subject)
I'm frustrated with life right now but I'm not really sure why. Fantasy Football has come to be something I don't enjoy anymore. I've never liked competition anyways and that's all Fantasy is about. I'm not even enjoying watching the games with people because all that matters is how many points that person gets, or how many points someone has to get to avoid losing. It's just a game and who wins or loses will make no difference in anything! I truly like just watching a football game and enjoying it for what it is. At first I enjoyed that added excitement that Fantasy Football brought to game watching but not anymore. I don't like competing with people. Period. I don't like the idea of someone being better than someone else, and I especially don't like the idea of someone being less than someone else all due to random chance. I've realized that competition has crept it's way into my relationship with Katie. It started very innocently with things like: "you're my favorite" or "I've got you" and it was cute at first but it's beginning to feel like it's all about competing for who is "more favorite" or who's "got" who. I also feel like I have to compete with some of my CLP family. I feel like there's some unspoken competition about who's internship is the best and who is doing the best job, etc., and frankly it's detracting from the whole experience. I'm being a little bitchy, I know, but that's ok because I can use this to bitch if I want to! It just feels like I'm not doing something right or that there's something I'm supposed to be doing but am not. I think it's time to quit bitching and go to bed.