District Sleeps Alone Tonight
I feel sick, i haven't felt the way i feel right now in a while. I have been thinking about kelly all night and everything that has to do with her. SHe realy is my true source of happiness and i am really thinking of going down there soon. i can't handle being alone anymore. this is harder then when she went down the first time. i am sure its bc i was a jerk before she left. i still feel bad and sick to my stomach for how i did that to you. i am sorry with all my heart. but at the same time i can't handle this. i am just sitting here on a friday night dreaming of next year. i want to do something for it, make it come faster or easier some how. but i can't. i wasn't able to talk to my mom about it yet. i will try tomorrow. but i know when i wake up i will want to sit by my comp and talk to kelly all day and get as much in with her as possible. that is the only time i have any fun when she is gone. that is talkin to her. she is such an amazing girl and she deserves the best in life. i just hope i can give that to her. i feel a small case of minor depression hittin me. i used to feel this way before when i was lonely. i am lonely, extremely lonely...the bad thing this time is i have tasted what i want in life and she is 1000miles away from me. i am going to try and lay down and see if that will make me feel better. kelly my dear, i love you with all my heart. MUAH xoxo x 17...until next time...