Thank You Jonathan Larson...
I just finished watching the DVD of the Last ever performance of RENT on Broadway...and it was THE BEST DVD I EVER BOUGHT!
OMFG! I didn't have high hopes for the cast particularly, but the show was INCREDDIBLE! And the filmwork was ACE!
The extras were beautiful too!
And I cried SO MUCH! ... like SOOOOOOOO MUCH! Haha!
I just wish it was still going - I started saving to go see it, and I am travelling to America this Summer hopefully...A YEAR TOO FUCKING LATE!
I will forever regret (no matter how much I try and forget it!) that I never saw it at its home - but I am hugely thankful for the DVD...it's almost like closure. Almost...
I hope when I go that wall will still be there - and maybe I'll get the chance to sign it along with 12 years of RENTheads and all those celebrities who came before me. May it always remain as a shrine in remembrance of what Jonathan Larson managed to create.
To me, RENT is living (Yes...LIVING) proof of the power of theatre and creativity to change lives...hell, fuckit...change the WORLD!
And again - as I wrote in my last post (on a similar topic funnily enough lol) - watching it remined me of why I wanna do this thing...because it's about sharing a message and reaching people.
When I watch RENT, it feels like something so totally different to anything else in the world...it's like emotion and depth, but on a whole other level! Like finding a new colour, or seeing someone you love who you haven't seen in years.
To me, RENT IS an emotion - all of its own. And nobody has ever or will evr match it.
Jonathan Larson dying was a terrible thing - but in a way the timing was perfect. Anthony Rapp said something similar in his book - maybe Jonathan had given all he had to give, maybe he'd purged himself of what he needed to release - and maybe it was time to just leave it to whatever power there is out there...
Strokes of pure genius and enlightenment are always fleeting...true genius and creativity and talent only comes along once in a while - it can't last in this world.
I guess you just have to try and grab it while you can - and hope what's left is a true representation of a remarkable and irreplacable spirit. Somehow when we watch RENT or listen to the music, Jonathan is there...and that's amazing.
To anyone who hasn't seen RENT, or doesn't know what it was about, or didn't "get" it and didn't like it, I'm sure this will all sound rediculous and trite...self-gratifying and indulgent. But to me, it's belief...it's like this fuel that makes me believe that in the end, things will be heard, and hope will forever live on.
It's funny that through all this shit - hope is the best quality us meager humans have. Constant, endless hope.
I know I've ended up turning Jonathan Larson into this Jesus-like figure...Hell, I don't even know if God exists, but it's little pieces of genius and inspiration like this that give me hints. I'm a spiritual person I guess, hopeful...naive maybe...and I have so many faults you wouldn't believe, (one of them being letting my mind run away with me and babbling for pages and pages...) but I refuse to lose the faith and belief that I can try and carry on, try and better myself.
"No Day But Today" is like a mantra for me...it's something I have yet to master. Unfortunately in my world forgetting regret just doesn't happen. Take for example (rather ironically!!!) I was GUTTED I didn't get to see RENT's final performance, and a year later I still TOTALLY am!!! I didn't even know who Idina Menzel was (WTF!!!) until she'd left Wicked and I'm GUTTED I didn't get to see her in that too! Ha! And there are so many things I should just let go that I can't...realy stupid things too.
But it's something I'm working on, and the idea of it certainly is appealing...
So, here's my mantra for you then..."GET THAT BLOODY DVD AND WATCH IT SO MUCH YOUR EYES BLEED!!!"
Yes..?
Not quite as poetic I'll admit...
Athanku... :-P
Peace out, and may you all continue to live in hope, and a belief that in the end, it's all worth it when you find those moments of true peace and understanding. When you open yourself up to a new depth of emotion. (God I'm beginning to sound like a bloody Romantic...FUCKING ENGLISH A2!!!)
We could all live without fear of pain or hurt, we could cut ourselves off from feeling...
But in the end...that wouldn't be living at all...
xxx