FIC: The Lunch Lady
Banner courtesy of m14mouse
Title: The Lunch Lady
Author: drummerdancer
Verse: None
Characters/Pairings: Edward, Havoc, Breda, Fuery, Falman
Word Count: 488
Prompt 256: Freeloading
Rating: T
Summary: Her food might've been less than edible, but that didn't stop some from pursuing her.
Edward thanked the mess hall lady serving stew (or rather, he gave her a brief ‘See ya later’ and walked away) and headed for the table where Mustang’s staff usually sat. It was way in the back, where the lighting was kind of shady at best and the walls were just a little too cracked for comfort. He had offered to fix the design problem once, but Breda had not only told him ‘no’; he had looked affronted, like the mere thought of fixing their lunching area offended him personally. Ed had since not brought it up again.
The usual crew was there-Havoc, with his tray of whatever the special had been (It looked kind of green, Edward frowned), Breda with his three-meat-plus-all-the-condiments-in-the-cafeteria sandwich, Fuery with his peanut butter and jelly from home, and Falman with his plain turkey sub. Most of them greeted him with mouths open, jaws full of mush, but Edward simply grimaced and sat down next to Falman, who’s mouth remained respectably closed despite his attempt at a smile.
Havoc was eyeing his tray with a hungry gleam, his own pile of goo looking more and more mournful upon closer inspection. Edward pulled his tray just a tiny bit closer to his chest, a subtle ‘not sharing, freeloader’ on the tip of his tongue. Havoc shrank back, his expression that of a kicked puppy.
Edward groaned. “Havoc, if you hate the special so much, why’d you get it in the first place?”
Havoc gave him a weird, startled look, like he didn’t understand the question. “Because well, uh, I-”
“Because Havoc’s got the hots for the lady serving it,” Breda supplied, wagging his eyebrows. “He thinks if he keeps eating her crappy food, she’ll throw him a bone and let him take her out on a date.”
“That’s not true,” Havoc protested. “I just feel bad that nobody ever eats her stuff-”
“-Because it tastes like shit-”
“-and besides, how is anybody ever supposed to get better without any help? I’m doing her a favor, and I expect nothing in return.”
Breda backed down for a moment, a look of surprise crossing his face. “So…you have no romantic intentions towards her, whatsoever?”
Havoc nodded, crossing his arms as he just slightly jutted his chin out. “Yep. I’m just being a fine and upstanding gentleman.”
“Then you wouldn’t mind introducing me?”
“I-wait, what-”
“Actually,” Breda said, standing up. “I’ll just go do it myself.”
He walked away, though his footsteps were slow and calculated enough to be obvious to everybody except Havoc. It took the man all of three seconds to gape openly before he also stood, his steps hurried and uncoordinated as he quickly yelped, “Wait for me!”
The two men disappeared back into the lunch room, leaving Ed to wonder if perhaps he had labeled the wrong man ‘the freeloader' after all.
Double posted @ fma_fic_contest