Life..
So its been for ever since I last wrote in my lj so I think Im about do...
I thought I'd never say this but I think I have actually grown up. I always thought that I'd just be this big kid my whole life, well I still am kinda. I've been working two jobs lately jsut trying to get this wedding taken care of and trying to get ahead on all my bils and I stated to think about how close my wedding is and about how much life has changed since the good ole days at Pontiac Central High.
It's crazy how certian events through out life all build up to one big one. I remember all the times that I spent talking with my old friend (who I will Sam just to protect her because she has a lj too!) about the stupidest things. We used to hang out every chance we got or we talked on the phone for hours at a time. Why? I couldn't even tell you. She was like the sister I never had except way cooler. Some of the best timesin High School were with her. I guess it was because we had spent so much time together and we were there for e/o during alot of rough times.
Then as we all know life happens, you meet new people and you tend to go your seprate ways and do your own things. Well that's what happend with Her and I, as well as many of my other friends. But for some reason Sam just stuck with me in my mind throught out all these years. I remember there was a point when I had the biggest crush on her but I never told her becuause I thought she would flip out on me. About the time I had those feelings for her she stared dating this real jerk. He used her and what not. So she went to see her Dad in Philly for the summer and that was when the "Jerk" decided to dump her. We had kept in touch over the phone and through mail over the summer. I remember that all I could think about was her and how I couldnt wait for her to come back so we could hang out again.
Well fate has a funny way of doing things. There was this one letter that she wrote me that I never recieved until after I graduated from High School becuase the police had caught someone stealing my mail and opening it. So neeedless to say the particular letter had been held for evidence. What that letter said I tell you later. She finally came home just before her b-day and it was awesome. Keep in mind that I never read that letter she sent. She was acting all different towards me and really seeming like she was interested in me. But I didn't think anything of it because I didn't want to complicate things for her.
So basiceally like I said earlier we went our separate ways due to some unfortionate events. We had a school related trip to Florida tha blew up in our faces becuas of some personal issues that ended up putting a scar on our friendship Just about that time my mother died and it hit me hard! Sam was not really apart of my life any more for some reason or another so I had been hanging out with this other girl who is now going to be my wife in 57 days. Sam had just found a new boyfriend too!
Well this other girl's name was Andrea and Sam hated her because she used to treat me bad and a bunch of other junk. After we graduated High School I was involved with Andrea on and off for a little. Sam and I had kept in touch and even gotten together a couple of times to catch up. There was this one night that we had gone to see a movie and went out for coffee and Sam asked me why I never asked her out on an official date? I asked her why? She replied that her boyfriend and her were having so problems and he told her that he wanted her to go out on a date with me becuas he knew that she liked me. I told her that I didnt know she liked me also I didnt want to make her uncomfortable around me. She began to tell me all the things that had happend with her during the time wernt close. I think that we stayed out til about 3 am that night talking in my car. Now here's the ironic thing...remember that letter. Well I got it the next day!
Sam had just told me the night before about some of the things that were in that letter. But not everything. I'll paraphrase the letter because I dont remember exactly what it had said. She had said that she really missed me over the summer and that she couldnt wait to come home and see me. She said tha she had wanted to talk to me about some stuff but wanted to wait untill she got home. Well just after she got home we had a conversation that basically led up to Sam asking me out. I was thrown way off. I had no idea! So like a jerk I turned her down because I was sorta seeing my future wife at the time.
So its weird that over a period of three years how much things can change. I honestly believe that if I had recieved that letter when I was supposed to things may be different for me right now. But I didnt untill three years after the fact that she wrote me. Sorry if I have confused you during my story. but your probably wondering how growing up has anything to do with this story right? Well from all my experiences over the past few years I realized why I had those different feelings for Sam. She was my first love and she never even knew it! Nor did I.
Sam if your reading this you know who you are, I just want you to know that even though I am getting married my promise still stands. No matter where I am or how far away I am if you ever need me just call me and I'll be there. Even if it's just to say hi! I miss talking to you. I know circumstances don't really allow for us to be the way we were back then but I still remember in my heart the times we sheared. You will always hold a special place in my heart. Don't you ever froget that! Friends are friends forever!
I thought I'd never say this but I think I have actually grown up. I always thought that I'd just be this big kid my whole life, well I still am kinda. I've been working two jobs lately jsut trying to get this wedding taken care of and trying to get ahead on all my bils and I stated to think about how close my wedding is and about how much life has changed since the good ole days at Pontiac Central High.
It's crazy how certian events through out life all build up to one big one. I remember all the times that I spent talking with my old friend (who I will Sam just to protect her because she has a lj too!) about the stupidest things. We used to hang out every chance we got or we talked on the phone for hours at a time. Why? I couldn't even tell you. She was like the sister I never had except way cooler. Some of the best timesin High School were with her. I guess it was because we had spent so much time together and we were there for e/o during alot of rough times.
Then as we all know life happens, you meet new people and you tend to go your seprate ways and do your own things. Well that's what happend with Her and I, as well as many of my other friends. But for some reason Sam just stuck with me in my mind throught out all these years. I remember there was a point when I had the biggest crush on her but I never told her becuause I thought she would flip out on me. About the time I had those feelings for her she stared dating this real jerk. He used her and what not. So she went to see her Dad in Philly for the summer and that was when the "Jerk" decided to dump her. We had kept in touch over the phone and through mail over the summer. I remember that all I could think about was her and how I couldnt wait for her to come back so we could hang out again.
Well fate has a funny way of doing things. There was this one letter that she wrote me that I never recieved until after I graduated from High School becuase the police had caught someone stealing my mail and opening it. So neeedless to say the particular letter had been held for evidence. What that letter said I tell you later. She finally came home just before her b-day and it was awesome. Keep in mind that I never read that letter she sent. She was acting all different towards me and really seeming like she was interested in me. But I didn't think anything of it because I didn't want to complicate things for her.
So basiceally like I said earlier we went our separate ways due to some unfortionate events. We had a school related trip to Florida tha blew up in our faces becuas of some personal issues that ended up putting a scar on our friendship Just about that time my mother died and it hit me hard! Sam was not really apart of my life any more for some reason or another so I had been hanging out with this other girl who is now going to be my wife in 57 days. Sam had just found a new boyfriend too!
Well this other girl's name was Andrea and Sam hated her because she used to treat me bad and a bunch of other junk. After we graduated High School I was involved with Andrea on and off for a little. Sam and I had kept in touch and even gotten together a couple of times to catch up. There was this one night that we had gone to see a movie and went out for coffee and Sam asked me why I never asked her out on an official date? I asked her why? She replied that her boyfriend and her were having so problems and he told her that he wanted her to go out on a date with me becuas he knew that she liked me. I told her that I didnt know she liked me also I didnt want to make her uncomfortable around me. She began to tell me all the things that had happend with her during the time wernt close. I think that we stayed out til about 3 am that night talking in my car. Now here's the ironic thing...remember that letter. Well I got it the next day!
Sam had just told me the night before about some of the things that were in that letter. But not everything. I'll paraphrase the letter because I dont remember exactly what it had said. She had said that she really missed me over the summer and that she couldnt wait to come home and see me. She said tha she had wanted to talk to me about some stuff but wanted to wait untill she got home. Well just after she got home we had a conversation that basically led up to Sam asking me out. I was thrown way off. I had no idea! So like a jerk I turned her down because I was sorta seeing my future wife at the time.
So its weird that over a period of three years how much things can change. I honestly believe that if I had recieved that letter when I was supposed to things may be different for me right now. But I didnt untill three years after the fact that she wrote me. Sorry if I have confused you during my story. but your probably wondering how growing up has anything to do with this story right? Well from all my experiences over the past few years I realized why I had those different feelings for Sam. She was my first love and she never even knew it! Nor did I.
Sam if your reading this you know who you are, I just want you to know that even though I am getting married my promise still stands. No matter where I am or how far away I am if you ever need me just call me and I'll be there. Even if it's just to say hi! I miss talking to you. I know circumstances don't really allow for us to be the way we were back then but I still remember in my heart the times we sheared. You will always hold a special place in my heart. Don't you ever froget that! Friends are friends forever!