My brain:
I stood there staring. I'm not particularly sure what it is that had grasped my attention due to the fact that whatever my eyes were capturing had no effect on my thoughts. I was simply . . . staring. Do other people take the time to think about nothing? Do other people take the time to think about the inner-workings of the universe, human existence, and how societies around the world completely skew the view of their members, causing them to accept the mundane? What the fuck happened to my brain? The image from my eyes interrupted my thought. It was a field, and a horse, that I was looking at. A lot of people would spend minutes to an hour convincing themselves there was some kind of symbolism in this. The way I seem to tune in and out of the main plane of existence fascinates me. I would go on in my head thinking about how other people would think there would be some sort of symbolism. What the fuck? Why do I focus on that? Where did all these questions come from? Did I accrue some sort of wisdom within the last year or so? I remember when I was focused on school and sports and girls. Now, all 3 of those things seem to have less and less meaning as the days go by. The only reason I am still in school is because I have to be to get a good job. The only reason I have to get a good job is so I can make money. The only reason I need to make money is so I can survive. What is the only reason I need to survive? This is not some sort of lame high school suicide letter. I want to find a reason to survive.